general-sports
Who said that Tony Kornheiser and Jaws would never have any chemistry?
C’mon, it was the Niners and the Hawks; you didn’t expect us to be paying attention to the game, did ya?
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[Awful Announcing]: Um Guys, You’re Arguing About The Same Exact Thing
We’ve been dying to get this footage to you since we watched it last Thursday on Inside the NBA, but, unfortunately, we had to wait until sportsrapp did all the hard work. If you can make it through another Frank TV promo then there’s some really funny stuff in store for ya. Make special note of the Chuckster’s reaction to Frank Caliendo’s impersonation of him.
Everyone keeps talking about the Charles Barkley imitation, and we do admit that it’s dead on, but we were blown away by the loquacious manner in which Caliendo personified the rare and enchanting qualities of a man whose journeys took him from small town La Mesa, California, all the way to a glorified hardwood pedestal which was chiseled of the finest marble from the rural lands of Egypt offered unto their gods of sound and fury. It was a trip befitting a young, muy alto, red headed, lost wanderer traversing across the boggy, rodent-laden marshes…
Remember when Lloyd and Harry started eating peppers in Dumb and Dumber? Well, Rob Stone would have given anything for some squeeze bottles of mustard and ketchup after he downed the hottest pepper in the world.
Geez, man; what are you? Some sorta idiot? The pepper dude said it had a million Scoville heat units. Wait; don’t tell us you’re not familiar with the Scoville scale of heat transfer. What a dweeb.
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[Awful Announcing]: Don’t Do It Stoner, Oh God He’s Doing It!
Please tell us that you have vivid memories of the instant NES classic Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!. You know: Glass Joe, Great Tiger, Soda Popinski, Don Flamenco. C’mon, please tell us that we weren’t the only ones who spent hours on end socking King Hippo in his fat gut. Oh, well; if you’ve played the game then you’ll recognize our good friend Mr. Dream Mike and if you’ve never rocked the controller to this 8-biter then hit the pawn shop already for crying out loud.
Game Over, Little Mac.
Hooray!! October is finally over.
Don’t get us wrong, October has its good points. First off, there was college football. And then there was college football. Oh, can’t forget college football, more college football, a little pro football and then there was college football. You get the point.
Anyways, it’s nothing personal, but sorry, No. 10, we’re over you. The MLB playoffs were kinda fun even if the World Series was a total snoozer. And like the rest of America, we were scarily close to smashing our newly purchased HD television set if we saw one more promo for Frank TV. Oh, and don’t even get us started on the stupid Dane Cook commercials; the real ones or the fake ones. Yes, yes; we know, there is only one October. That guy obviously sold his soul to the devil in return for starring roles with Jessica Alba in F- movies and, quite honestly, we can’t say we blame him.
Basically, all we’re saying is that we’re stoked to be changing our calendars to November and we’re ready to start turning our attention to the meaty portion of the BCS race (regardless of the illegitimacy of the whole system), turduckit, holidays and the fantasy football home stretch. Hooray, November!!
Until October 1, 2008 rolls around, we’re taking our Manny-O-Lantern and putting this month behind us.
Even though the World Series is over and done, you’ve probably still have the silky smooth voice of Joe Buck running through your head. Well, if you just can’t get enough of his impassioned calls then we’ve got the perfect treat for you. It’s Bucky making some of the biggest calls in sports history.
“And President Kennedy is outta there.”
Over 40 years later and that still seems a little too soon. Oh, well; Slam-A-Lama-Ding-Dong! It’s still a homer.
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[Our Book of Scrap]: Joe Buck Is A Really Good Sports Television Announcer
You can read all the newspapers you want and listen to all the interviews and press conferences you can find, but we say “forgetaboutit!” We got David Letterman filling our brains with all the latest MLB 4-1-1, and he can tell us more in 10 sentences than the dill holes on FOX Sports can muffle out in a week.
And when Yogi Berra tells someone “It’s over” then Yogi Berra told someone “It’s over.”
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[High and Tight]: Top Ten Reasons Torre Quit
Please don’t tell us that you’re one of those superstitious, ritualistic, knock on wood kinda people. Well, the odds are actually pretty good that you’re a believer in sports jinxes. In fact, according to an Associated Press-Ipsos poll, one in every five fans tries to get lady luck on their team’s side.
You know what we mean: the lucky hat, the gameday jersey, the spinning in circles after a homerun, the freakin’ idiotic body paint, you get the idea.
The survey showed no real difference by gender, race or education in whether people try finding a way to help their team win. But those who do tend to be younger and make more money than those willing to risk letting the athletes determine a game’s outcome. They also are more likely to be single.
There was no significant difference among the fans of various sports in how superstitious they were, the poll showed.
Twenty-four percent of college basketball fans admitted to trying something lucky to help their team and 20 percent of professional basketball followers said the same thing. Fans of professional baseball, and of college and professional football, fell in between.
Professional football fell somewhere in between? We know that pro players don’t count as fans, but you go tell John Henderson that his pregame ritual is insignificant.
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[MSNBC.com]: One in five fans believes in jinxes, survey says
As a sports blog, we probably have no legitimate reason to bring this story to you. But as men, we couldn’t pass on the opportunity and it happened at a Packers game, so what the hell!
When the Bears and the Pack hooked it up a while back, Justin Timberlake, his girlie Jessica Biel and the Dawson’s Creek dude all showed up. We’ve seen all the pictures of JT shotgunning Miller Light and schmoozing, but we never did see the one of his old lady getting her rump squeezed by another chick! Until now, that is.
According to TMZ.com (super reliable, we know):
Dang Justin! There’s no telling what could have happened next if you hadn’t turned around. That’s it, someone get these ladies tickets for the remaining Green Bay games and, for Pete’s sake, don’t let Timberlake through the gate. Be creative and do what you gotta do. Wait, you know what would keep him occupied for hours? A Dick In A Box.
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[TMZ]: Jessica Biel Gets Badonka-groped!
Floyd Mayweather got kicked off the Dancing With the Stars island last night. Yea, we can’t believe it either. We just lost $50 bucks after we took him at 5-1.
We’re sure that Floyd isn’t sweating getting kicked off a lame, yet wildly popular, dancing show, but he’s got to be ticked off that he went home before a buffoonish, yet wildly rich, Mark Cuban.
