NBA General

Odds and Ends: Oklahoma City is currently announcerless

“OKC f’n sucks, kiddo”

The longtime voice of the Seattle Sonics has decided to forgo relocating to Oklahoma City, opting instead to remain in Seattle and become the announcer for the city’s – get this – soccer team instead.

Kevin Calabro, the voice of the Sonics for 21 seasons, will become the voice of Seattle Sounders FC broadcasts as the team debuts in Major League Soccer next season. …

“I’m thrilled to be part of Sounders FC soccer in a city that I know will embrace it,” said Calabro. “Seattle is blessed to have devoted ownership as well and I know people will be excited about the possibilities.”

Yea, we think it was the whole “Thundercats” speculation that kept him from taking the job too.

In other news…

[Uncoached]: Who says chicks can’t dunk?

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: Jeremy Shockey just realized he got traded to the Saints

[Shake dem Dreads]: 32 NFL teams, 115 dread heads. How’s your team stack up?

[Chicago Bull]: Deng, they coulda had Kobe

[ESPN Page 2]: T.O. saves the day when Batman and Hancock couldn’t

[]: Thunder. Thundercats. Thunder. Yea, definitely a step in the right direction

[YepYep]: Top home plate collisions

[FanNation]: He wasn’t involved in another Nipplegate, so we’re going to let it slide

[]: 3…2…1…Swish. “Sweet.”

[Deuce of Davenport]: Dude A: “So, do you root for the Phillies or the Yankees?”

Dude B: “Feel deez nuts!”

[]: Ron Artest might be a Piston?!? Shut the hell up!!

[]: Charles Barkley gives his money away, but this time it’s not to a casino

[]: Captain Lou Albano might be 75 years old, but he still knows how to throw a party

[]: Picture of Satan taking in a day at the ballpark

[The Redshirt Senior]: Hey, take it back; Erin Andrews is hot, you big liar! Did you even watch the ESPYs???

And finally, dude, you can win The Ultimate Warrior’s shirt. Well, he’s not really The Ultimate Warrior anymore, but he’s the old, creepy dude who used to be The Ultimate Warrior. Still cool, right?

Ultimate Warrior Contest: Win The Shirt Off Warrior’s Back!
Uploaded by ultimatewarriortv

Odds and Ends: No Tiger. No problem.

With Tiger Woods’ season officially coming to a close, the PGA is starting to sweat bullets over losing the game’s biggest draw. So, here’s a list of 10 Thing The PGA Tour Can Do To Increase Attendance, according to The World of Isaac, while Tiger’s getting nursed back to health by Elin.

10. Give John Daly the go ahead to do the 18 challenge (18 Hot Dogs, 18 Beers, and 18 shots, 18 Holes)

9. Give Natalie Gulbis an honorary PGA membership for the Summer.

8. Fans get free copies of the next hottest Calendar: The Women of the PGA tour

7. Make Phil Mickelson wear “The Bro” outside his shirt (Big Endorsement)

6. Randomly choose one golfer to get Nancy Kerrigan’d every week and make him limp around the course. Hey, the drama worked for Tiger?

5. Make worse than a bogey=Keg Stand at the next hole

4. If somebody screams “Get in the Hole” and it doesn’t go in, make that fan strip naked and run for his life

3. Have a Tim Finchem Dunk Tank at the turn

2. Bring back some old cranky dudes from the Senior tour. Let them go at it from the ladies tee, let them ride carts, let them foot wedge it out of the rough

1. KY Jelly and Mud Wrestling in every available Pond

In other news…

[The Sports Muffin]: Meet Pat Venditte, he’s amphibious

[The Recliner GM]: The Best and Worst of the NBA Draft

[Irish Band of Brothers]: Get ready for more crappy Notre Dame football on NBC

[The Cuban Revolution]: Mark ain’t the only Cuban who can blog

[Clubhouse Cancer]: Glen Davis is enjoying his championship reign

[]: Doug Christie’s wife allows Doug Christie to do a radio interview

[]: Bull Durham gets a facelift

[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: “In a way, that I hoped I shoved it up to somebody’s butt”

[YouTube]: Lacrosse cheerleader takes one for the team

[]: According to Jason Kidd, the Chuckster isn’t gambling

And finally, it worked for Eminem and Dido, so why can’t it work for Ron Artest and Alicia Keys?

Ron Artest raps over Alicia Keys

San Antonio Spurs

Spurs are "Gone Fishin’"

The Lakers knocked off the defending champs on Thursday, advancing to the NBA Finals for the first time since Shaquille O’Neal was prowling the paint. Kobe Bryant got rid of the Spurs in incredible fashion, hitting big shot after big shot to break the hearts of those who thought this would be the year San Antonio repeated. However, no team is truly eliminated until it casts its line and starts reeling in some groupers. That’s right, it’s fishing time. Start up the boat EJ!

Of course, that also means that Inside the NBA is off the air until next season as well, meaning there will be no more moments like this anytime soon. Or this.

NBA General

Charles Barkley has an epiphany on-air

The Round Mound of Rebound finally said what we’ve all been thinking for years but wouldn’t say because we were afraid he’d throw us through a window.

NBA General

Charles Barkley’s booty fetish slips out

Charles Barkley made an entire career out of being ridiculous and saying some of the most outlandish things on TNT’s “Inside the NBA.” But last night, in front of his boy Dwyane Wade, the Chuckster finally went too far.

Wow, Barkley and Wade really do have a lot in common, apparently they both have a thing for touching nasty bootys. Drop the charade, D-Wade, it’s ok to admit it. Some dudes dig cougars. But we have one question, how do you tell the difference between Star and Charles when they’re both naked?

College Basketball

Odds and Ends: Forget 2008, 2009 March Madness is upon us

We don’t even have one game of this year’s tournament under our belts yet and already the NCAA is about to start accepting application for the 2009 Final Four in Detroit. Of course, when tickets are as hot as Final Four tickets are you need to get on the ball early. You know what they say; the early bird catches all the early bird specials.

The cheapest tickets will cost $150, which is a bargain: Tickets to next month’s games in San Antonio are selling online for $2,500 or more.

In other news…

[]: It’s an ass whooping no matter what language it’s in.

[The 700 Level]: Phillies have “Bring Your Marmoset Monkeys To Work Day.”

[Balls Deep Sports]: Don’t worry, Terry Bradshaw remains zany after the football season is over.

[]: Charles Barkley can relate to Allen Iverson’s return to Philadelphia.

[The Big Lead]: Mark Cuban, Now Directing Hatred at MMA Writers.

[Golf Spelled Backwards*]: So funny we forgot to laugh.

[]: Terrelle Pryor is not for hire anymore. Sorry Big Blue.

[]: Shocking Brett Favre news out of Green Bay. He’s planning to return to Lambeau…sorta.

NBA General

When Charles Barkley is your friend, you don’t need enemies

Charles Barkley and Michael Jordan are the BFFL (Best Friends For Life), but that doesn’t mean the Round Mound of Rebound is going to show his Airness any mercy when it comes to his ultra expensive divorce settlement.

We’ve been giving Michael a hard time,” Barkley told a crowd at the SMU Athletic Forum lunch at the Hilton Anatole on Wednesday. “He just got a divorce [and it was like] damn, bro, you wrote a check for $175 million? Are you kidding me? You must have some damn money. If you can write a check for $175 million, you’re damn loaded.”

Barkley went on to say that “sports is definitely not the place to be sensitive, no matter what it is. We’re going to ride you unmercifully and we told him, `It’s probably bad to write a check for $175 million, but it’s going to get worse. When you go visit your kids, there’s going to be a guy sitting in your chair, wearing your robe, smoking a cigar.

The crowd erupted in laughter, but Barkley still had one more zinger for Jordan, saying: “You better hope it ain’t one of us. You better hope it ain’t one of your boys. We’re all looking for a woman with $175 million.

Don’t worry about it Mike. If Chuck gets you down with his wisecracks, you can always chill with Tiger and make fun of his golf swing. That never gets old.


[]: Not even Jordan escapes Charles Barkley’s verbal darts

NBA General

Charles Barkley is burning… his savings

Before the Super Bowl, the population of New York were the only people on the planet to even give the Giants a fighting chance against the undefeated Patriots. Of course, after the shocking upset, everyone suddenly became a Monday morning quarterback, claiming they knew all along Eli would march to victory. Well, Charles Barkley is no different from the rest of us, but he chooses to blame ESPN for his horribly expensive bet gone bad.

Good thing this weekend’s All-Star game isn’t in Las Vegas this year, the Chuckster might go bankrupt at this rate.


[]: Charles Barkley drops “about $400,000” on the Super Bowl

NBA General

Barkley want pre-nup, Barkley want pre-nup! Yeaah

Michael Jordan is going through a costly divorce with his ex, Juanita. In all, the parting of ways is going to cost his Airness over $150 million. Now, we’re no mathatologists or anything, but if Charles Barkley says that’s a lot of money then that’s a lot of money.

I was going to call him to borrow money, but I think I’ll hold off on that,” Barkley said.

Barkley clearly enjoyed talking about the situation Thursday during an interview on Dan Patrick’s syndicated radio show, which airs locally at 10 p.m. on WSCR-AM 670.

“You have to look at it two ways,” Barkley, now an analyst for TNT, said. ” ‘Wow, that’s a lot of money. Wow, that’s a lot of money.’ Then the second way, ‘Damn, Michael’s got a lot of money.’ … Personally I would have to have somebody else write the check. You’ve got to be so [ticked] to write that check.”

Barkley said the Jordan case shows the value of having a pre-nuptial agreement.

Barkley said he doesn’t have one with his wife, but economics have changed dramatically since his playing days.

“I agree with Donald Trump,” Barkley said. “Everybody who’s got money or thinks they’re going to have money should have a pre-nup. … If she don’t sign it, you don’t marry her.”

Finally Barkley concluded, “I’ll bet you if Juanita gets married again, she’ll sign a [pre-nup].

You’re darn skippy she will Chuck. Wow, we can’t believe we just agreed with a guy who dances like a fairy.


[]: Barkley wowed by Jordan’s stash

General Sports

Frank Caliendo’s Barkley is "t-r-b-l"

We’ve been dying to get this footage to you since we watched it last Thursday on Inside the NBA, but, unfortunately, we had to wait until sportsrapp did all the hard work. If you can make it through another Frank TV promo then there’s some really funny stuff in store for ya. Make special note of the Chuckster’s reaction to Frank Caliendo’s impersonation of him.

Everyone keeps talking about the Charles Barkley imitation, and we do admit that it’s dead on, but we were blown away by the loquacious manner in which Caliendo personified the rare and enchanting qualities of a man whose journeys took him from small town La Mesa, California, all the way to a glorified hardwood pedestal which was chiseled of the finest marble from the rural lands of Egypt offered unto their gods of sound and fury. It was a trip befitting a young, muy alto, red headed, lost wanderer traversing across the boggy, rodent-laden marshes…