Baron Davis stunned the basketball world by bolting from Golden State for one of the most pathetic franchises ever in existence: the Clippers. There’s really only two ways this can work out for B-Dizzle, a) he helps turn around a team’s fortunes, dotting the NBA landscape with two relevant Los Angeles squads or b) he looks back in a few years and says “Dear Lord, what have I done?” Either way, Clipper Nation (if there is such a thing) wins big. The fans finally have a legitimate star to root for and he’s a hometown hero to boot. Davis deserves a lot of credit for making such a gigantic leap of faith, but, frankly, we think the City of Angels owes this guy a beer for being the influencing factor in the move. After all, how could B.D. resist this sultry serenade home?
Author: clay
The Oreo commercial’s with Peyton and Eli Manning going head-to-head in a lick-off always give us the creeps and make us a little nauseous. But now our worst nightmares have come true and the ridiculous ads are leaping off the television screen and right into reality.
PEYTON AND Eli Manning have won Super Bowls, but how quickly can the quarterbacks lick the icing from a Double Stuf Oreo?
Roxborough’s George Stolzer, 63, a retired firefighter, and his son, Christopher, 36, of Honey Brook, a shipping manager at UMAC, will find out on July 10 as they battle the Mannings in hopes of winning $10,000 in the Oreo Double Stuf Racing League “Lick Race” in New Orleans.
We’re guessing it’s going to look a lot like when we feed our dogs peanut butter, but odder.
Links:
[Hugging Harold Reynolds]: Two guys want to lick the Manning Brothers
[Philly.com]: Mannings put on their game faces for licking contest
New York Giants defensive end and reigning Super Bowl champion Osi Umenyiora made a guest appearance on Mike and Mike in the Morning, hosted by a guy named neither Mike nor Mike, and after a little prodding busted out with one of the weakest freestyle raps ever, choosing to aim his venom at the NFL’s resident hottie (so we’re told).
Somewhere out there, Max & Sam are taking some serious notes on how to improve their game. Well, Max is.
Napoleon Bonaparte was a French military and political leader who had a significant impact on modern European history. He was a general during the French Revolution, the ruler of France as First Consul of the French Republic, Emperor of the French, King of Italy, Mediator of the Swiss Confederation and Protector of the Confederation of the Rhine. At least that is what Wikipedia says we should know about him. Of course, like most meatheads, all we really knew about the dude was that he takes prissy pictures and angry, short people always get labeled with a complex bearing his name. And according to Undrafted Free Agent, these lil’ Naps have the biggest cases of Small Man syndrome in the world of sports.
9.Jon Gruden
8.Juan Pablo Montoya
7.Tom Cruise
6.Danica Patrick
5.Eddie Gaedel
4.T.J. Ford
3.David Stern
2.Ed Wade
1.Nate Robinson
If Tom Cruise can make the list then there’s no way we’re leaving Verne Troyer off after he refused to put up with any of Paul Pierce’s B.S.
Links:
[Undrafted Free Agent]: 10 Biggest Little Napoleon Complexes in Sports
Trade you a Jack Glasscock for your
Cunnilingus
After OneNewsNow.com’s embarrassing/hilarious mix-up involving sprinter Tyson Homosexual Gay, it was announced that the Christian news website will begin creating sports trading cards. Basically, they’re going to be similar to Garbage Pail Kids, but without the Scratch `n Stink cards. Luckily, TiricoSuave.com was able to get their hands on some of the high-demand cards before they hit the streets. If you thought Potty Scotty and Jason Basin or Adam Bomb and Blasted Billy were hilarious then you’ll love these duos.
Dick Trickle – Phallic Secretion
Albert Pujols – Albert Sodomy Zone
Rusty Kuntz – Unkempt Vaginas
We are absolutely dying to see what they come up with for Lucious Pusey and Craphonso Thorpe.
In other news…
[Arrowhead Addict]: He’s just a rookie, but Glenn Dorsey already has one of the best nicknames in the NFL
[Huggin Harold Reynolds]: “Wes Welker, tell me how my ass tastes”
[FoxNews.com]: “Barack Obama, tell me how my ass tastes”
[TheMMAPost.com]: So, where you watchin’ the big fight on Saturday night?
[The World of Isaac]: How’s your favorite Baywatch babe holding up after 10 years?
[Bugs & Cranks]: MLB’s early season heroes
[The Sporting Blog]: Weedwhacker meets golf club
[The Love of Sports]: Baseball’s 50 strangest moments
[Awful Announcing]: Length? Stretch? Elongated? Extend? Considerable linear extent in space? What the hell was Jay Bilas talking about?
[Deuce of Davenport]: Dwyane Wade and the hardwood. We’ll leave it at that.
And finally, it’s the one-year anniversary of this.
Categories
Varsity Blue Balls
This summer has already seen some epic movies. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man and Kung Fu Panda rank amongst our absolute favorite blockbusters this summer. Wait, did we just say Kung Fu Panda? Sorry, we meant to say Sex and the City. Anywho, there is still one flick waiting to drop and when it does, the response is going to be phenomenal. That’s right, we’re talking about the highly anticipated Illegal Use of Hands.
Oh, that new Batman flick might be worth watching as well.
As if the world doesn’t already have enough quack doctors out there rendering their “services” to the public, now we’ve got to start preparing for Ricky Williams M.D. That’s right, the NFL’s oddest oddball declared in a recent interview that he wants to attend medical school after his playing days are over. Are we sure this dude isn’t still getting blazed?
“When I retired and I had a chance to be by myself outside of being a football player, I found I enjoy helping people and I had a gift for making people feel better,” he said.
Williams said he reads a lot of self-help books, often with metaphysical subjects. But nothing too wild, he said.
“I’m not a UFO guy,” he said.
In a similar story, apparently, Michael Vick has been reading lots of books on politics and plans on running for office once he gets out of prison. Either that or be a vet.
Links:
[RealClearSports.com]: Ricky Williams, M.D.
[Boston.com]: 10 years later, Williams looks forward
Some of us were actually naïve enough to believe that the feud between Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal was squashed. What fools. These guys still loathe each other with a passion and they will be rivals for the remainder of their careers, nay, their lives. Kobe wants to earn a ring on his own so badly he can taste it (or is that Shaq’s ass that he loves tasting?) and he’s willing to do almost anything to get one. This year he was even desperate enough to involve his teammates. The Diesel, on the other hand, is still the face of the league on a very talented squad and he’s already raised a trophy without KB. So, now he’s just trying to outdo Bryant in other, more important areas of life, like jumping over stuff. It’s not a speeding Aston Martin or a kiddie pool full of snakes, but it’s a start.
By the looks of his new crib, the Daddy definitely underwent a little downsizing following his costly divorce.
Categories
Golfers experience a 16th hole holdup
Golf courses are getting harder and harder everyday. Between the woods, the water and the rough, most amateur hackers have their hands full just completing all 18 holes. And that was before some courses started implementing golf’s newest hazard: the armed robber.
When the party of six, four golfers and two caddies, reached the 16th tee shortly after 11 a.m. a lone gunman emerged from nearby woods and said, “Give me your money,” according to police.
Armed with a handgun and covering his face with a mask, the gunman robbed two of the golfers and one of the caddies before fleeing into the woods at the club, located at 6200 W. Good Hope Road.
Officials at the club said the foursome finished their round of golf following the incident.
Finished their round, huh? Sounds like these dudes were either some really cool customers or somebody in the foursome invested in the discrete urinary necessity, the UroClub.
Links:
[Steady Burn]: Golfers Robbed at Gun Point on the 16th Tee
[TheWeirdPost.com]: Golfers robbed on the 16th tee, continued their round of golf
This is seriously one of the sickest old men man ever and he’s exactly why parents need to keep an eye on their kids at all times when attending a ball game.
And according to complaints filed with Dublin police, his fetish still has him helpless to resist it. …
Official reports indicate he has been observed putting Saran wrap on toilet seats in public, sports-related venues with the apparent intent to drink any urine collected there.
It was that practice that drew Patton to the attention of Gahanna authorities in 2006. During his trial, authorities said he collected urine from boys at a movie theater — and at times even paid for it.
Seriously, not even Herbert the Pervert would do something that gross.
In other news…
[More Handy Than Capped]: Nick obviously never saw this before
[The Sports Muffin]: Wazzzup! Beer me!
[CollegeHumor.com]: Karl Malone can’t get a ring in the NBA, so he’s heading to the NHL
[Faded Youth Blog]: Reggie Bush sports the sailor look, complete with big-assed hooker
[AJC.com]: Six Flags isn’t always as much fun as the old dancing dude makes it seem
[YardBarker.com]: Holland has our hearts
[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: (SNARL) The Warrior is back (SNARL) and slower than ever (SNARL)
[Tirico Suave]: You can see it coming from a mile away, but it’s still hilarious
[Tennessean.com]: Pacman’s old crib was massive
[NextRound.net]: A one-fingered salute to flipping the bird
And finally, the best video of a guy catching a batting practice home run ever recorded.