jay bilas – Sportscolumn Blog

Odds and Ends: OneNewsNow.com hops into the trading card game

Trade you a Jack Glasscock for your
Cunnilingus

After OneNewsNow.com’s embarrassing/hilarious mix-up involving sprinter Tyson Homosexual Gay, it was announced that the Christian news website will begin creating sports trading cards. Basically, they’re going to be similar to Garbage Pail Kids, but without the Scratch `n Stink cards. Luckily, TiricoSuave.com was able to get their hands on some of the high-demand cards before they hit the streets. If you thought Potty Scotty and Jason Basin or Adam Bomb and Blasted Billy were hilarious then you’ll love these duos.

Chubby Cox – Girthy Members

Dick Trickle – Phallic Secretion

Albert Pujols – Albert Sodomy Zone

Rusty Kuntz – Unkempt Vaginas

We are absolutely dying to see what they come up with for Lucious Pusey and Craphonso Thorpe.

In other news…

[Arrowhead Addict]: He’s just a rookie, but Glenn Dorsey already has one of the best nicknames in the NFL

[Huggin Harold Reynolds]: “Wes Welker, tell me how my ass tastes”

[FoxNews.com]: “Barack Obama, tell me how my ass tastes”

[TheMMAPost.com]: So, where you watchin’ the big fight on Saturday night?

[The World of Isaac]: How’s your favorite Baywatch babe holding up after 10 years?

[Bugs & Cranks]: MLB’s early season heroes

[The Sporting Blog]: Weedwhacker meets golf club

[The Love of Sports]: Baseball’s 50 strangest moments

[Awful Announcing]: Length? Stretch? Elongated? Extend? Considerable linear extent in space? What the hell was Jay Bilas talking about?

[Deuce of Davenport]: Dwyane Wade and the hardwood. We’ll leave it at that.

And finally, it’s the one-year anniversary of this.

You wanna get Jay Bilas fired up? Just mention Michigan

Jay Bilas is usually a fairly reserved guy from what we can tell. Sure, he can be annoying at times because he’ll talk Xs and Os until you’re blue in the face, but he still seems like a pretty nice fellow. But it seems that Bilas has a sore spot when it comes to Michigan coach John Beilein. How sore? Let’s just say that these two probably didn’t spend the holidays together.

Beilein makes his players sound so stupid and clueless that it is insulting. First, and I say this as a guy who thinks that basketball is far more complicated than most seem to understand, to refer to your own basketball understanding as ‘wisdom’ seems a bit much. Knowledge, yes. Wisdom, take a pill. Even John Wooden wouldn’t refer to his own knowledge as ‘wisdom.’ Second, if your system is so complicated that you need to refer to recruited athletes and students admitted to the University of Michigan as the basketball equivalent of toddlers, maybe you should simplify things so you can compete favorably with Harvard, Central Michigan or Western Kentucky.

Bilas’ hate isn’t exclusively reserved for Beilein; turns out that he has a problem with the entire Wolverines program, starting with their AD, Bill Martin. Here’s his take on the team from mid-December.

Asked in a college basketball chat of which program was in bigger trouble — Michigan or Kentucky, Bilas said, “Michigan. They just don’t get it. I think that John Beilein will do a great job, with time. But, it will take time. Michigan had a dirty program, brought in Amaker to clean it up, and he did that. Along the way, he won. He just didn’t crack the NCAA Tournament barrier. Now, with good talent, they are getting their heads bashed in because they are starting over. How do you think those kids feel? Their heads are spinning. It is clear to me that one person needs to go…and that is Bill Martin. He has presided over this, and if the prior coach needed to go, then Martin should go too. If an AD’s job is to put the pieces in place to have a winning program, then Martin is not living up to that end. Sorry, but that is how I see it.

Links:

[Freep.com]: ESPN’s Bilas: `Beilein makes his players sound so stupid and clueless that it is insulting.’
[Freep.com]: ESPN’s Jay Bilas believes U-M AD Bill Martin needs to go