NFL General

We never thought we’d say this, but Oreos are starting to gross us out

The Oreo commercial’s with Peyton and Eli Manning going head-to-head in a lick-off always give us the creeps and make us a little nauseous. But now our worst nightmares have come true and the ridiculous ads are leaping off the television screen and right into reality.

PEYTON AND Eli Manning have won Super Bowls, but how quickly can the quarterbacks lick the icing from a Double Stuf Oreo?

Roxborough’s George Stolzer, 63, a retired firefighter, and his son, Christopher, 36, of Honey Brook, a shipping manager at UMAC, will find out on July 10 as they battle the Mannings in hopes of winning $10,000 in the Oreo Double Stuf Racing League “Lick Race” in New Orleans.

We’re guessing it’s going to look a lot like when we feed our dogs peanut butter, but odder.


[Hugging Harold Reynolds]: Two guys want to lick the Manning Brothers
[]: Mannings put on their game faces for licking contest

Dallas Cowboys

Even after his post season debacles, everyone wants to be Tony Romo

People love to hate the guy, but somehow Tony Romo wound up with the top-selling NFL jersey from April 1, 2007, until last Friday. Now, we know that Cowboy fans bought them by the bushel and Jessica Simpson and Terrell Owens were good for a couple apiece, but we didn’t realize Romo could sell more than Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and Brett Favre. Of course, we didn’t realize Burger King slightly overcharged us for our nightly combo meals either.

Here are the rest of the top 10 jerseys. Now go make fun of every grown man you seeing wearing one.

1. Tony Romo, Dallas Cowboys

2. Tom Brady, New England Patriots

3. Brett Favre, Green Bay Packers

4. Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts

5. LaDainian Tomlinson, San Diego Chargers

6. Adrian Peterson, Minnesota Vikings

7. Eli Manning, New York Giants

8. Randy Moss, New England Patriots

9. Brian Urlacher, Chicago Bears

10. Troy Polamalu, Pittsburgh Steelers

The biggest shocker of the list comes in at No. 17 where Brady Quinn resides, right between the Cowboys Jason Witten and the late Sean Taylor. Derek Anderson has got to feel like crap when he looks at that.


[]: NFL’s Best Selling Jerseys–1 Through 20

New York Giants

David Tyree grabs SB play of the game honors or at least pins it to his helmet for a first down

It’s not a dream. The New York Giants are the winners of Super Bowl XLII! And so what if Plaxico Burress’ prediction was a few points off!

About ¾ of the game can be thrown out of your mental memory bank in order to preserve room for all those memories of bikinis and coco butter from your last youthful spring break to Cozumel. But make sure you keep that fourth quarter inside the ol’ noggin because that was something special. A Manning miracle, you might say. We’ve watched enough football over the years to know that games are never won or lost on a single play but, you might as well put a cape on David Tyree because he saved the day with this whacky snag.

Easily one of the most sensational plays in S.B. history; however, we’re a little bitter towards Tyree because of his play. Primarily because it revived Mercury Morris and the rest of the population of Perfectville from potential obscurity. We weren’t exactly looking forward to hearing about the Patriots “pursuit of perfection” for the remainder of our lives, but, damn, we’re getting to the point of physical nausea after 36 years of Dolphins reunions/celebrations when the final unbeaten goes down.

Green Bay Packers

Sorry Green Bay, but nothing comes between Eli and his Oreos or his Seinfeld

We told you about the Green Bay television station that pulled Saturday’s episode of Seinfeld off the air in an attempt to make Eli Manning go Kenny Rogers Roasters crazy before the big game on Sunday. Well, as we expected, the plan was a complete waste of time because Sony of all people raced to the rescue.

Despite the dastardly plans of the Fox affiliate in Green Bay to deny the Giant quarterback the privilege of watching his favorite TV show on Saturday night, it turns out Manning will be able to watch reruns of “Seinfeld” after all. Sony has sent Manning a DVD player and “Seinfeld: The Complete Series” DVD collection that he can watch from his hotel room all night long.

It was such a simple solution to circumvent WLUK’s publicity stunt, that Michael Strahan had already thought of it hours before.

“Are you kidding me?” Strahan said yesterday, when told the station had pulled “Seinfeld” off the air because it heard it was Manning’s favorite show.

“Don’t they have ‘Seinfeld’ DVDs? We can always watch ‘Seinfeld.’ If they think that’s going to mess him up, I should probably move to Green Bay. I could be very successful there with some of my ideas.

But don’t worry Packers fans; you still might get to see Emmitt Smith’s infomercial about feet. You lucky dogs, you.


[]: Eli Manning able to foil bizarre `Seinfeld’

Green Bay Packers

This stunt is more pathetic than George Costanza pretending to be handicapped

In yet another example of Green Bay fans taking their passion for the Packers just a wee bit over the top, Fox affiliate WLUK has pulled the regularly scheduled airing of Seinfeld on Saturday afternoon in an attempt to – get this – disrupt Eli Manning’s pregame preparation. In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past week, the Giants and the Packers will battle it out in some c-c-c-cold conditions at Lambeau on Sunday.

On a video on the station’s Web site, [general manager of WLUK Jay] Zollar points at the camera and says, “Eli, no ‘Seinfeld’ for you!”

“We don’t want to give any comfort to the enemy whatsoever when they come into town,” Zollar says. “We know laughter is good medicine, and we decided we’re not going to give that to him.”

We hate to burst your little bubble Zollar, but Eli is a 27-year-old walking ATM and if he’s such a huge Seinfeldian then he’s probably got the entire box set on DVD. We seriously doubt that he’s frantically searching the TV Guide for another 5:30 p.m. Saturday showing of “The Marine Biologist” because some podunk station decided to yank it for no good reason. But we’re sure the locals are loving that instead of watching the greatest comedy sitcom to ever light up a television screen, they could end up sitting through an infomercial for “The Good Feet Store” starring former Cowboys back Emmitt Smith. No, seriously. They might have to watch that crap.

The station is conducting an online vote to choose a replacement program.

As of Wednesday, a special about former Packers coach Vince Lombardi totaled 65.7 percent of the vote, followed by a rerun of a local show with Packers receiver Donald Driver (18.8), an infomercial for “The Good Feet Store” starring former Cowboys back Emmitt Smith (8.8) and a M*A*S*H rerun (6.7).


[]: Green Bay TV station pulling `Seinfeld’, Eli’s favorite

NFL General

Peyton Manning puts in his two cents on Tiki Barber

Apparently the Tiki Barber/Eli Manning feud has reached a point where the normally reserved Peyton Manning has decided to step up to the plate for his little bro. But Peyton didn’t let his sharp tongue sting only Barber as he decided to take a shot at virtually all former players who decide to join the media upon retirement.

Ex-players truly become ex-players right away, the No. 1 job is to criticize players,” said Peyton Manning, who had his ability to lead publicly questioned several years ago by the former Colts place-kicker Mike Vanderjagt. “I’m pretty defensive of all quarterbacks. Eli is my brother. I’m very loyal to my family. I’d rather you criticize me. I don’t think anybody knows what it’s like to be a quarterback except a current quarterback. Sometimes former quarterbacks forget what’s it’s like. You cannot play quarterback at any level — you’re in a leadership position. To do it for three years in high school, three years as a starter in college, taking your team to the playoffs — you are a leader and you’re a good leader.

Manning added: “It’s supposed to be a code, teammates to teammates. That’s the problem we’re going to have with ex-players going to the media. When I retire, I know what I don’t want to do.

Boy, are we relieved to hear that! We were so afraid that Peyton would waste his time in a studio with Chris Berman or Bob Costas after he hung `em up. Hopefully this means that he’ll be focusing on his acting career once his playing days are over.


[]: Manning Makes Strong Defense of Manning