Tag: crime

Categories
Cincinnati Bengals

Bengals keep lighting up the arrests scoreboard


The Cincinnati Bengals had a statement win yesterday, beating defending Super Bowl champs the Pittsburgh Steelers 28-20 in a great game. So how do the NFL’s version of the Jailblazers celebrate? By having a player get arrested of course.

Odell Thurman, who is already serving a four game suspension for violating the league’s substance abuse policy was pulled over and arrested for DUI early Sunday morning. He blew a .17 in a state with a legal limit of .08 on the breathalyzer.

Thurman said he had a few beers but was driving because the other passengers were in worse shape. The two passengers turned out to be Chris Henry and rookie WR Reggie McNeal. To prove Thurman’s point, Chris Henry proceeded to throw up out the window of the car.

Here’s what I like about the Bengals. They’re not afraid to spread the arrests around. They’re like one of those west coast offenses where each offensive player ends up with 3 catches and 30 yards each. Look at the selfishness of Chris Henry here. Having already been arrested for a gun charge in Florida, Henry knew that it wasn’t his turn to get arrested on a DUI so he let Odell Thurman drive. Next week, who knows, maybe the rookie will get his chance to shine. Teamwork folks.

Links:
[Cincinnati Enquirer]: Thurman busted in OVI check

Categories
New York Knicks

Sep 25 in Sports History: Marv Albert gets arrested


In 1997: In one of the most uncomfortable and embarrassing moments in sportscasting history, announcer Marv Albert plead guilty to assault and battery of a female companion in a Virginia hotel room. Albert was accused of repeatedly biting the woman on the back and forcing her to perform sex acts. Albert was immediately fired from his job at NBC, where he did NBA and NFL broadcasts; and he was forced to resign from MSG Network as the voice of the New York Knicks, where he started over 30 years ago. He was rehired by NBC a few years later and became the voice of the New Jersey Nets in 2005 on the YES Network.

In 2001: Despite being “99.9 percent sure” he would never play again, Michael Jordan announced he would be returning (again) to play in the NBA, this time for the Washington Wizards. Jordan, who was already the president of basketball operations, played two more seasons for the lowly Wizards, averaging 21 points and selling out all 82 home games at the MCI Center in Washington (and most arenas on the road). He retired at the end of the 2003 season.

In 1994: In the most shocking upset since Mike Tyson-Buster Douglas, journeyman Oliver McCall knocked out heavyweight champ Lennox Lewis in Lewis’ hometown of London. McCall lost the title shortly thereafter, and is most remembered for his nervous breakdown in the ring in a rematch against Lewis, when he began crying and refused to defend himself. Many speculated that McCall was on drugs. All tests, however, came up negative.

Categories
College Football

Maurice Clarett is going to jail



Will Ice Cube play Clarett in the TV movie?

Well folks, the sad tale of Maurice Clarett has reached the final chapter. Sure he could turn his life around in jail but he’s just going to be another high profile athlete that wasted his potential on laziness and greed. Maurice Clarett has agreed to a plea bargain in two criminal cases and was sentenced to 7 1/2 years in jail. He will be available for parole in 3 1/2 years.

Clarett got 3 years for the aggravated robbery, 3 years for using a gun in the crime, and 1/2 years for carrying a concealed weapon.

Clarett is 22 now so if he spends his entire 3 1/2 years working out, he could be in better shape than he’s ever been by the time he’s 26. And then all the talking heads will talk about how he’s a young 26 because he’s a RB without that many miles on him. Or more likely, he’ll just fade from our conciousness and discover God.

Links:
[Buckeye Extra]: Clarett agrees to plea deal; will serve at least 3 1/2 years

Categories
College Football

Do you like me? Like you or Like You like you?


USC QB Blake Mitchell was suspended from the team after getting arrested for a bar fight. From the police report:

Mitchell initiated a verbal exchange with Kylan Ertzberger, 19, asking if Ertzberger liked Mitchell. Ertzberger said he had no problem with Mitchell but didn’t like the fact he was trying to bring underage women into the bar. When Ertzberger turned to walk away, Mitchell punched him in the left eye.

Steve Spurrier (shockingly) tried to blow it off as just an example of college kids being college kids. Mitchell was suspended but not expelled from the team. It’s hard for a 19 year old to turn away underage women from a bar but Erzberger clearly takes working the door very seriously. But hey, at least wall the old pervs in South Carolina now know where they can go now for underaged women.

Links:
[The State]: South Carolina quarterback arrested, suspended

Categories
College Football

Here’s one way to make the starting lineup

University of Northern Colorado’s reserve punter Mitch Cozad was arrested for stabbing the starting punter in the kicking leg. An anonymous university employee reports that Cozad attacked Mendoza from behind and stabbed him between the buttocks and the hamstring.

Now that starter Rafael Mendoza is out for Saturday’s game, freshman Zak Bigelow will have the punting duties while Cozad gets himself a second-degree assault charge and expulsion from school.

Didn’t Tanya Harding teach us anything? First, you don’t do the actual maiming yourself, you hire some fat thug to do it for you. Second, this might be the most unimaginative way to hurt someone but the most imaginative twisted way to get the starting job. Too bad it had zero chance of actually working.

No word on whether Mendoza was writhing on the ground sobbing, “why me? why now?”

Links:

[The Denver Channel]: UNC Reserve Punter Arrested For Allegedly Stabbing Rival In Leg

Categories
Detroit Lions

Lions coach charged with nude driving


These days, a coach getting arrested for drinking and driving is pretty commonplace. They should just start putting it at the bottom of boxscores. But Lions assistant coach Joe Cullen decided to raise the bar a little and got arrested on August 24 for “driving on the street without any clothese on. (NUDE).” Thank god the police officer clarified that one for us. Curiously, there was no citation for being drunk, just nude.

A week later, Cullen was arrested for DUI with a BAC of .12. Now, a .12 is just a regular night out for some folks and hardly drunk enough to go around driving naked so it’s possible Cullen was at Eddie Sutton levels of drunkeness when he was driving naked. But since the police officer didn’t charge him with drunk driving for that incident, we have to wonder if whether Cullen just likes driving in the nude, which is more offensive to us than a .12 BAC.

It seems Joe Cullen has a bit of an alcohol problem as he was arrested for public drunkeness in a restaurant in Mississippi in 2005 and was fired from Ole Miss.

Links:

[Detroit Free Press]: Lions assistant coach arrested for nude, drunken driving
[Detroit Lions Site]: No mention of Nude Driving as a hobby

Categories
General Sports

Odds and Ends: Andy Roddick and Maria Sharapova are not dating


Andy Roddick told reporters a million times that he and Sharapova are just good friends. “You know, we’re friendly. We’re in the same places. I think she’s a great girl. You know, we’ll talk. That’s about it.” Damn, Andy, how can you be friends with Maria Sharapova and not want to run up in her like Bruce Jenner? (Man that’s an old joke. Some of you kids don’t even know who Bruce Jenner is right? Now stay off of my lawn!) What is wrong with Andy Roddick? We’re officially starting the Andy Roddick is gay speculation. And of course, this post is nothing more than a reason to post another photo of Miss Sharapova.

In other news…

[Cincinnati Enquirer]: Remember Mathias Askew? He’s suing the city of Cincinnati for $50M

[ESPN]: 5 NFL franchises now worth over $1B

[Sign On San Diego]: Even umpire beefs halt for Kate Smith

[Toronto Star]: CFL player accused fo sexual assault

[Clarion Ledger]: Can’t read? Football player? No problem! Come to Ole Miss

[Beyond the Box Score]: Which Players Had The best RBI-to-GIDP Ratios?

Categories
Tennessee Titans

Pacman Jones gets screwed


As we know by now, Pacman Jones loves the nightclubs. Well, last night Pacman was arrested for public drunkeness and disorderly conduct outside a Tennessee nightclub. According to the police, Jones was arguing loudly with a woman who he accused of stealing his wallet when police approached him and saw his state of drunkeness. The wallet had $750 in it.

First, Pacman Jones is only holding $750? That reminds us of the time one of our friends chastised Adam Duritz at the craps table because he was only betting $5 a roll. You don’t have to carry a wad of hundreds but have something a little more respectable than $750. Second, while this is somewhat of a BS arrest, it comes right after the Tennessean.com published a “human interest piece” on Jones’ hard-scrabble childhood and how he is more focused on football this season. The charges were later dismissed but the way the media works, fans will only remember that he was arrested.

Links:
[MSNBC]: ‘Pacman’ Jones arrested outside night club

Categories
NFL General

Maurice Clarett tied to Israeli mobster


The Maurice Clarett story is getting weirder and weirder everyday. ESPN is reporting that Slo Mo has been bankrolled by a member of an Israeli crime organization since he left Ohio State. Clarett was introduced to Hai Waknine of the Israeli crime organization The Jerusalem Group (Sounds more like an investment firm to us.) by a “rapper friend”. Waknine provided Clarett with cash, a BMW, bodyguards, drivers and beachfront lodging in Malibu in exchange for 60% of his rookie contract. Since Clarett was cut by the Broncos, quick math tells us that 60% of $0 = $0.

Clarett’s lawyer is offering up this tie as the reason that Clarett was arrested with all those guns. Mango claims that a threatening postcard sent to his office might have come from Waknine.

I believe he owes [Waknine] money, and I think [Waknine] is probably not the only one” he owes, Mango said. “Whether it’s someone all the way on that coast or more on this side of the country; it’s no one that I’d want to owe money to. … A call came to our office [about Waknine], kind of giving us a rumored story. It’s been kind of tossed around by us, and quite frankly, Youngstown has quite a reputation — if you don’t know it already — for the Italian side of that ballgame. And everyone here thought, ‘Well, you wonder with money changing hands …’ Having heard the things we’ve heard, this is a little more concerning.

Maurice Clarett really is an idiot. How exactly do you get tied up with Israeli mobsters? Why can’t he just do what most on-the-brink athletes do and get a cushy job or a “loan” from a college booster. Those guys might end up getting you kicked off your team but they would never send a threatening postcard.

Links:
[ESPN]: Lawyer: Clarett has ties to alleged Israeli mobster

Categories
Seattle Seahawks

Chad Eaton beaten up by his wife



Would you punch this man?

We realize that domestic violence isn’t funny… but you gotta admit it’s kinda funny when it’s a woman beating up a man — like when Lionel Richie got smacked up once, twice, three times by a lady. In this case, former Seahawk Chad Eaton’s wife might face domestic violence charges for punching him in the nose. He called the police and away she went.

In his playing days, Chad Eaton was listed at 6’5″ 303 pounds. His wife stands about 5’4″ and 120. Apparently she punched him for cheating on her. Now, we don’t know much about Chad Eaton except for his time on the Seahawks but Seattlest doesn’t seem to like his work as a sports personality on KCPQ channel 13 in Seattle.


It’s pretty difficult to avoid the urge to punch former Seahawk and Q13 sports “personality” Chad Eaton in the face.

Go ahead–try to watch him on the Seahawks postgame show, with his fake tan, absurdly-bulging musculature, and shiny too-tight shirt, looking like he’s just stopping by on his way to Venom, and see if your fist doesn’t ball right up out of pure instinct.

We doubt Chad Eaton is going to press charges. The coverage has been embarassing enough. Still, perhaps Chad was being the good guy here and called the police to pick up his wife so that he wouldn’t go all Brett Myers on her.

Links:
[Seattle PI]: Former Seahawk’s wife faces charge of domestic violence