Denver Broncos

John Elway says Jay Cutler ain’t no John Elway

If Jay Cutler wants to be the next John Elway then he’s going about it all wrong. Personally, we enjoyed when Cutler threw Brandon Marshall under the bus, but Elway said on Wednesday that he would have done things a little differently.

If that’s what Jay feels like he needs to comment on, he needs to do that,” Elway said. “Personally, I would’ve done it to him. Even though I tried to settle things in the press, looking back over the years, it hasn’t been the right way to do it.”

“As a quarterback, you’ve got to take a leadership role,” Elway said. “Jay has that last year under his belt. I’m sure he feels a lot better where he’s going. They need someone to take over. That’s a good move on Jay’s part.

“Bottom line, there’s talk and there’s wins,” he said.

Elway can’t recall when he earned the trust and respect of his teammates. He said it just stemmed from winning games.

“You’ll feel them follow you,” he said. “There are different ways to lead — everyone has a different way. Jay will have his own personal way, too. It’s just a matter of when you gain the respect of those teammates. That’s when leadership comes. They respect what you’re doing.

Oh, it’s what you do that matters!! No wonder Matt Leinart can’t seem to get control of the Cardinals.


[]: Elway Surprised Cutler Called Out Brandon Marshall

Denver Broncos

Doesn’t sound like Jay Cutler believes Brandon Marshall’s McDonalds story either

Jay Cutler is not very happy with Brandon Marshall right now. The young gun starting quarterback in Denver conducted his first interview since the season ended and most of his comments dealt with wide receiver Marshall and all of his off-the-field shenanigans; the latest being an injured arm that supposedly occurred when Marshall slipped on a McDonald’s bag and went crashing through his television while roughhousing. While Cutler isn’t up to Phillip Rivers’ level when it comes to talking trash, the John Elway wannabe certainly got his point across and slipped in a few shots to boot.

Yeah, he’s not my favorite person right now,” Cutler said. “I mean, I support him, but it’s always something with him right now.” …

I’ve talked to him many times. I think a lot of people have. … He knows he’s running out of chances,” Cutler said. “This wasn’t like his DUI and other stuff he’s had. It was an accident, but still, things like that can’t happen. He knows it.

“But like I told him, I said, ‘Brandon, they’re going to quit giving you chances and you’re going to have to go somewhere else. And that’s going to be a shame.”‘

Marshall said last week that he realizes he has to grow up and that his freak injury was a wakeup call.

“His DUI was a wakeup call,” Cutler retorted. “He’s had many wakeup calls. I mean, he’s been in (coach Mike) Shanahan’s office many times. I’ve been up there with him. He said the same thing: ‘This is a wakeup call. This is the last thing that’s going to happen. Blah blah blah.’ I mean, until he goes out and proves it, we’ll see what happens. …

I love Brandon to death and he’s a great kid at heart. I don’t think he goes out there looking for trouble. He’s not at bars late. He’s not doing those things that other people do. It’s just something about him. He’s always into something,” Cutler said. “Like I told him, ‘I haven’t lost faith in you. I’ll still support you. But … you’re going to have to prove yourself this time.’

We certainly can’t blame Cutler for being a little lot peeved with Marshall, but dissing him in public probably isn’t going to go over too well with the “kid.” We wouldn’t be surprised one bit if Marshall’s fist goes right into Cutler’s face at some point this season; of course, his severed artery, vein, nerve, two tendons and three muscles have to heal first.


[]: Cutler Rips Into Troubled WR Brandon Marshall

Denver Broncos

McDonald’s bag puts Brandon Marshall in the hospital

Strange injuries are nothing new to the world of sports, but Brandon Marshall found a way to give us something we’ve never seen before. The Broncos receiver needed surgery on his right arm and is expected to miss a majority of all offseason activities after wrasslin with some family members, slipping on a McDonald’s bag and crashing through his television.

I understand I’ve had my problems, but from what people are saying, they’re trying to twist this thing around to make me sound like some kind of bad guy,” Marshall said. “I don’t care what anyone says. I’m telling you what happened.” …

“We woke up early in the morning, probably 7 o’clock, to go jet skiing,” Marshall said. “There were probably 10 of us, maybe more. We got to horseplaying and I slipped on a McDonald’s bag. I went hand-first into an entertainment system and, in trying to bridge myself, I went through the TV.”

Marshall acknowledged earlier that he had slipped on a McDonald’s bag, but an NFL Network report Monday added details of his wrestling with family members. According to the report, Marshall severed an artery, a vein and a nerve in his right forearm, along with tendons to five muscles. The injury is expected to sideline him for several weeks, but Marshall said he expects to be ready for training camp in late July.

This might be the first time in the history of McDonald’s food that the effects are actually visible on the outside. We all know exactly what that crap can do to your insides and, frankly, we kinda think a severed artery is getting off easy compared to the hours of bubble-guts following a Big Mac!


[]: Broncos’ Marshall suffers bad cuts

Denver Broncos

Broncos’ Super Bowl ring found in Sam’s Club restroom

Some people just seem to have all the luck, like David Diaz-Infante. The former Denver Broncos lineman was on both late 90s Super Bowl squads and had the rings to prove. We say “had” because the knucklehead basically gave one of `em away at a party in July of 2006.

It was a big party,” Deputy Police Chief John Ercul said. “Apparently he passed the ring around and let people look at it. It never did get back to him. The ring was reported stolen, and we did an investigation on it. A number of people were questioned.

Talk about a dumb move. “He passed the ring around and let people look at it”?!?! Does he let strangers at parties test drive his car as well? While that might be one of the stupidest things we’ve ever heard, it certainly isn’t the strangest tidbit in this jewelry caper. Luckily for Diaz-Infante, the ring was eventually recovered. Where you ask. How about in a mega market bathroom.

Ercul said a woman, whose name was not released, found it in the ladies’ room at a Sam’s Club and handed the ring, worth $50,000, over to police.

“He was very happy to get it back,” said Ercul.

Ercul said police will now focus their investigation on Sam’s Club to try find the thief. “We will follow up on that and see what we can find out. It’s going to be tough, but we’ll see if we can get to the bottom of it.

Found it in the ladies room at Sam’s Club, huh? You know if that was Larry David’s Super Bowl ring it would be going straight in the trash can.


[]: Super Bowl Ring Found, Returned To Former Bronco

Denver Broncos

So that’s what kickers do while real football players are practicing

Ever wonder why Jason Elam is always able to calmly bang out 50-yarders for Denver without breaking a sweat? Well, graduating from the Air Force Academy, serving a tour of duty in Afghanistan and then joining a special operations squad has a way of calming your nerves in everyday situations. At least it did for Riley Covington, the main character of Elam’s new literary fiction novel Monday Night Jihad.

Covington is a military man who was drafted by the fictitious Colorado Mustangs, but must give up his professional football career in order to help put an end to terrorism overseas before it reaches America. Elam’s first attempt at becoming an author entwines pigskin, religion and covert military operations.

Probably the toughest part of the book for Elam was his eventual decision to not make the strapping, Captain America badass a kicker; instead opting to form Covington into a manlier linebacker.

I couldn’t make the hero a kicker. It had to be plausible,” Elam said.

As for what is more daunting, a last-second kick in front of a raucous crowd or reading a book review, Elam said that was simple — the kick.

“At least you know you’re not going to have chicken wings and snowballs thrown at you if they don’t like your book,” he said with a grin.


[]: Novel Idea: Elam Mixes Football, Terrorism, Spying

Denver Broncos

We can already tell that Ricky Williams is going to love Denver

We knew that fans in Denver wanted Ricky Williams and his list of kind bud connections to relocate to the Mile High City should he be reinstated. What we didn’t know was that the stoners activists were willing to get a billboard for the sole purpose of persuading the ex-Longhorn.

It’s simple, it’s catchy, it’s self promoting and, frankly, we think Ricky would be dumb enough to buy in.

It will read: “Ricky, come to Denver … Where the people support your SAFER choice.”

SAFER (Safer Alternative For Enjoyable Recreation), already erected the giant sign (by the way, unless he started taking massive amounts of Rogaine, then Ricky doesn’t have his dreads back yet) and their executive director, Mason Tvert, is all about getting the NFL and the world high on life.

The National Football League’s marijuana policy is just as irrational as our federal government’s marijuana policy,” Tvert said in a statement.

“Why on Earth would the NFL steer some of the biggest, strongest and toughest men in America away from marijuana and toward a drug that contributes to violent and aggressive behavior?

We don’t necessarily agree that these guys should be dangling a loaded bong in front of an addict as he goes swirling around the drain, but, nevertheless, it’ll probably work.


[]: Pro-pot group turns NFL scouts

LA Lakers

Odds and Ends: Isiah Thomas to offer next 10 first round picks for Kobe

Now that Kobe Bryant has officially asked to be traded from the Lakers, the multi-million dollar question is: where to? It’s fairly amusing the fan reaction to the Kobe demand. On on hand, you have Bright Side of the Sun which basically says no way. On the other, you have which is trying to figure out how many players they’d need to ship to LA to even out Kobe’s value/salary. And then you have The 700 Level which is asking whether Philly fans want the prodigal son to return.

Nowitzki for Kobe seems to be the most logical trade. You get superstar for superstar and you could move some minor pieces to make the contracts work out. The only problem is that Mark Cuban is hopelessly in love with Dirk. Kobe just made the pre-draft period 100x more interesting.

In other news…

[Enquirer]: Odds on when Barry will hit 756*…

[Sac Bee]: But when he does, Barry Bonds might not give any memorabilia to the hall of fame. No wonder why everyone hates him.

[Sports By Brooks]: Getting knocked out and practically ruining UFC didn’t stop Chuck Liddell from partying

[AdFreak]: Is ballpark advertising still effective if an outfielder is lying unconscious in front of it?

[Our Book of Scrap]: You can party in Cozumel with the Broncos cheerleaders

New York Jets

Someone missed Goodell’s personal conduct memo

Can’t outrun the police

New York Jets kick returner Justin Miller might not have gotten Goodell’s personal conduct policy memo but his lawyer certainly has. Miller’s issued apology sounded like a paraphrasing of the remarks Goodell used in admonishing Pacman Jones and Chris Henry when he handed out their suspensions.

I want to apologize to everyone for this situation, including my family, my teammates, the Jets organization, our fans and the entire NFL.

I understand that serving in the NFL is an honor and that I have an obligation to behave in a manner that reflects the privilege I have been given.

Miller was charged with assault after he punched a woman in the face. Now to be fair, he didn’t want to punch her in the face (but the bitch totally deserved it! — just kidding folks, just kidding); Miller’s problem was that he took a swing at a man with fast reflexes. That man ducked out of the way, and the next thing you know, some club ho got clocked in the face, and Pacman Miller got hauled off to the slammer for third-degree assault.

It’s going to be interesting how Goodell deals with this. This isn’t Miller’s first incident but the first was back in college so maybe he’ll get off with a warning. Let’s hope that Goodell doesn’t go all apeshit crazy with his punishment like David Stern did in ruining the Western conference playoffs.

In related news, Broncos WR David Kircus is a person of interest in a weekend assault case in Littleton, Colorado where the victim received several broken bones in the face. We’ll keep you updated on that story.

[NY Daily News]: Jets KR Miller Charged With Assault
[Denver channel]: Bronco Investigated In Weekend Assault

Denver Broncos

This is like a statement on cheerleading or something

One of our readers sent in this photo from the Denver Broncos Cheerleaders tryouts. No, seriously.

Now, we have nothing against fat people but they really shouldn’t be wearing spandex. We’re going to go ahead and guess that this is some feminist social commentary on using overly thin women who create body image issues for “normal” women to sell sports. Either that or someone is suffering from a OJ Simpon-sized case of self delusion. (Or perhaps she is a cautionary tale to the cheerleaders who love buffalo wings.)

Needless to say, she did not make the squad. For a slideshow and video of the Denver hotties that actually made the squad, check here. (Yes, yes, and yes.)

Thanks to rux for the heads up.

NFL General

Hey Goodell, we’re still waiting on the personal conduct policy

Chris Henry

For all the talk about about Roger Goodell instituting a league personal conduct policy during the owners meetings, it looks like it won’t get done till sometime before the NFL draft in late April. Since sources say that the sanctions might be applied retroactively (which doesn’t make sense at all to us but the NFL has more power than God), it’s liable to affect players who are still getting into trouble now because they don’t know any better, or at least that’s what their agents will say on appeal.

First up is our old friend Chris Henry. The latest incident for Henry is being cited for three traffic chargers: driving with a suspended license, failure to wear a seatbelt, and making an improper turn. All very minor stuff but you can’t get into any trouble if you’ve already been arrested 4 times in the last 14 months.

Second up is Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall who was arrested for false imprisonment and domestic violence charges after an argument with his girlfriend at their Colorado home. This seems to be one of those trumped up charges since his girlfriend had no injuries and the “false imprisonment” charge was Marshall blocking her taxi with his car to prevent her from leaving. In a romantic comedy, that’s the denouement, in real life, it’s a crime.

In any case, Pacman Jones is scheduled to meet with Roger Goodell on April 3rd. Here’s how the meeting will go:

: Hello Adam, please tell me about all the times you’ve been arrested or questioned by the police since you came into the league.
Jones: Well, there was the assault charge… and the weapons charge… and there was the public intoxication… and then there was the marijuana charge… then there was the spitting incident with the Tennessee State ho… and then of course the NBA All-Star Game…

Goodell (to secretary): Got all that? Good. Clean that up and put everything he did in the “examples of violating the conduct policy” section. We’re done.

[USA Today]: Broncos WR arrested
[MSNBC]: ‘Pacman’ to meet with Goodell on April 3
[]: Traffic ticket terrible for Henry