Dallas Cowboys

We know most car dealers are shady characters, but Pacman? Really? Pacman?

We’ve learned to live with Deion Sanders. Growing up, we absolutely loved watching Primetime work his magic on the field. Now, we’re just stuck listening to the guy because he’s one of the biggest camera hogs to ever to hit the small screen. Still, if Deion tells us to buy Pizza Hut, Nike, Pepsi and Burger King then we’re out the door buying Pizza Hut, Nike, Pepsi and Burger King products galore. Hell, we even bought a buttload of the Deion Sanders Hot Dog Express makers to shower on our friends come Christmas time. (Bet you’re wondering how to get on that list, huh?) However, we’re abhorred over Sanders’ latest endorsement, but it has nothing to do with the merchandise itself; we just refuse to buy anything approved by Pacman “Don’t Call Me Pacman” Jones.


[You Been Blinded]: Adam Jones Pimpin Cars With Deion Sanders

General Sports

Odds and Ends: As if the restrooms at sports stadiums aren’t disgusting enough already

This is seriously one of the sickest old men man ever and he’s exactly why parents need to keep an eye on their kids at all times when attending a ball game.

A man whose trial two years ago made public a long-held fetish for drinking the urine of young boys has surfaced again in the Columbus area.

And according to complaints filed with Dublin police, his fetish still has him helpless to resist it. …

Official reports indicate he has been observed putting Saran wrap on toilet seats in public, sports-related venues with the apparent intent to drink any urine collected there.

It was that practice that drew Patton to the attention of Gahanna authorities in 2006. During his trial, authorities said he collected urine from boys at a movie theater — and at times even paid for it.

Seriously, not even Herbert the Pervert would do something that gross.

In other news…

[More Handy Than Capped]: Nick obviously never saw this before

[The Sports Muffin]: Wazzzup! Beer me!

[]: Karl Malone can’t get a ring in the NBA, so he’s heading to the NHL

[Faded Youth Blog]: Reggie Bush sports the sailor look, complete with big-assed hooker

[]: Six Flags isn’t always as much fun as the old dancing dude makes it seem

[]: Holland has our hearts

[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: (SNARL) The Warrior is back (SNARL) and slower than ever (SNARL)

[Tirico Suave]: You can see it coming from a mile away, but it’s still hilarious

[]: Pacman’s old crib was massive

[]: A one-fingered salute to flipping the bird

And finally, the best video of a guy catching a batting practice home run ever recorded.

Dallas Cowboys

He is serious…and don’t call him Pacman

Pacman Jones no longer wants to be called Pacman Jones. Apparently, it is time to turn over a new leaf for Jones on and off the field, starting with that pesky nickname. OK, sure, and while we’re at it, why don’t we just stop calling Magic Johnson, Magic and drop the Kimbo from Kimbo Slice? What about striking Tiger from our memories as well? Listen, Pacman is here to stay and even if it weren’t, we’re certainly not going to resort to calling him Adam or Mr. Jones. However, we will consider the following list of possible Pacman replacements offered up from the fellas at Bleacher Report.

Donkey Kong Jones: For not only his objectification of women, but also his rumored penchant for throwing barrels at Italian plumbers.

Galaga Jones: For his seeming inability to end a confrontation of any level without a certain level of gun play, coupled with his quest for interstellar domination.

Excite-Bike Jones: For his ability to escape the scene of any crime at an incredibly high rate of speed along a linear and predictable path.

Tecmo-Bowl Jones: Since the only time Jones will ever get to play in a Super Bowl will be vicariously through a poorly pixilated video simulation with a limited play-calling selection (not unlike the Minnesota Vikings).

Frogger Jones: For Jones’ amazing ability to sidestep and avoid any semblance of personal responsibility and accountability.

Ms. Pacman Jones: For his girlish and childlike attempt to escape his past and self-created reputation by trying to get a publicist to get people to stop calling him Pacman.

If we’re sticking with the video game theme then we’re going to throw Grand Theft Auto Jones into the mix. Seems fitting considering shooting up strip clubs is actually part of the game.


[Bleacher Report]: The Best New Nicknames for Adam `Pacman’ Jones


Odds and Ends: Zab Judah perfects the backhanded bet

Boxers are a confident breed and they just love to talk trash. Zab Judah is no different, so he decided to open his mouth and actually bet Shane Mosley a nice chunk of change that he would knock him out in their upcoming fight on May 31. Don’t worry, the bout is going down in Las Vegas.

That’s free money,” Judah said. “If he’s so confident and so much in shape, then why didn’t he take it? The last time I put a $100,000 bet on the table was against Corey Spinks. What did I do? I knocked him out.”

Mosley declined. But this is what’s great about boxing. Any other sport and Judah’s suspended; here, he’s celebrated.

In other news…

[10,000 Takes]: Gopher blasts hockey ref.

[The Big Lead]: Like father, like son.

[]: Herm Edwards Is Bitter.

[Skate 2 Stick]: Gordie Howe is old!

[]: So, how’s your bracket holding up?

[The Professional Cheerleader Blog]: Magic cheerleaders do their magic on a trampoline.

[]: Another wrestler gone before his time.

[]: When Pacman and the Playmaker get together you know it’s going to be good.

[]: High School assistant coach tries to have a beer party with his athletes.

[]: 20% drop in NFL crime over last year. Just wait; Pacman’s back.

College Football

Florida continues adding to their championship caliber rap sheet

Okay, something strange is going on in the world of football.

Florida and Texas seem to be having some competition over who can get the most players arrested in a calendar year. At the moment, the Gators are ahead by a nose thanks to safety Tony Joiner’s recent trip to the clink. Joiner became the eighth Florida player in the last nine months to get in trouble after he was arrested and charged with felony burglary on Tuesday.

Police say he was arrested around 5 a.m. outside the fenced impound lot of a towing company.

He was accused of pushing a heavy electric gate open to enter the lot in an attempt to retrieve his girlfriend’s car, which police say was being held in place of a $76 towing bill.

Joiner was taken to the Alachua County Jail and later released on his own recognizance.

And what makes matters worse is that Joiner is a senior captain who has already racked up 20 tackles this year. Not exactly the leadership Urban Meyer was looking for heading into a huge SEC showdown with LSU.

Then you’ve got Texas Tech linebacker Kellen Tillman, apparently trying to take some of the limelight away from the state rival Longhorns, who got popped with some pot. Perhaps he was trying to take a bit of the edge off after getting suspended for unspecified reasons in the Red Raiders 75-7 blowout of Northwestern State.

Tillman, a 23-year-old senior who played at Plano West, posted $750 bond on a Class B misdemeanor charge of possession of under 2 ounces of pot and was released shortly after his arrest late Monday, the same day his suspension from the team was lifted.

Tillman, a starter, had 21 tackles and a sack in Texas Tech’s first four games.

According to police, an officer walked up to one of two cars stopped in the center turn lane of a street and saw what he believed to be marijuana. Tillman, the only person in the car, was arrested at the scene, Lubbock police Lt. Scott Hudgens said.

It appeared the two cars had been involved in a minor traffic accident, Hudgens said.

If convicted, Tillman faces up to 180 days in jail and a $2,000 fine.

All right, now for the real kicker: while these guys were getting hauled off by the cops, Pacman Jones was actually doing some good in the community for a change.

Jones bought 1,500 tickets to the next TNA Wrestling pay-per-view and he’s donating them to students as incentive for good grades and good behavior. Go figure.


[]: Florida team captain Joiner arrested, charged with burglary
[]: Texas Tech LB arrested on marijuana charge
[]: Pacman buys TNA tix for students

All Other Sports

Pacman Jones is the champion of the world!

Pacman Jones isn’t playing in the NFL this season, but that doesn’t mean he’s not still ballin’ because Mr. Jones is now wearing TNA gold after winning the tag team championships.

In a title bout against the then champs Sting and Kurt Angle, Pacman showed his selfish side by refusing several attempted tags from his partner Ron “The Truth” Killings. Of course, once Angle did all the dirty work by turning on Sting and hitting him with the Angle Slam then Pacman got busy and simply covered Sting for the easy 1-2-3.

Yea, we’re as shocked as you that Team Pacman came up with the gold, after all it’s basically a one man show with Killings doing all the heavy lifting. What’s worse is that in addition to not being able to wrestle thanks to restrictions placed on him by the Titans, Pacman totally sucks being behind the mic.

So, he can’t wrestle and he can’t shoot the crap to the fans; how the hell is he gonna be a wrestler worthy of carrying any professional title? Oh well, looks like we’ve got another Hulk Hogan on our hands. Maybe commissioner Goodell would cut some time off that suspension Pacman’s serving if he’d just start pushing prayers and vitamins.


[]: Official Results From Sunday’s No Surrender PPV

Tennessee Titans

Pacman Jones continues to surprise us with his career choices

Pacman Jones has been a helluva lot more productive off the field than on it since he made the jump from college to the pros and we’re not just talking about his criminal activities either. Since being suspended from the NFL for his cornucopia of arrests, not only has Jones semi started a professional wrasslin’ career, but now he’s getting ready to kick off an attempt at becoming the next Jay-Z.

Pacman owns a record label named National Street League Records and he announced on Wednesday that he’ll be joining a producer named Spoaty to form the dynamic rap duo known as Posterboyz! And if you thought that there was a frenzy when the latest Madden game hit the shelves, just wait until you see the lines that form outside your local Best Buy on August 27 when their first single entitled “Let It Shine” drops. And like most rap joints, this one is supposed to about “big money, cars and jewelry.” What, no lyrics inspired by politics, the stock market and fine china? Damn, Pacman, we thought you were a lot deeper than those typical hip hoppers.

Oh, but, just because Pacman isn’t wearing a pair of matching metal bracelets doesn’t mean that he’s not still getting into trouble.

Officials are looking into whether or not the record label’s name, National Street League Records, infringes on the league’s trademark, NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said.

Jones just can’t get a break. People don’t want him playing football, they don’t want him to wrestle and now there’s trouble brewing about him making music. But we’ve got a feeling that the NFL could save themselves a lot of trouble by just letting this whole infringement thing slide. After all, if Pacman is anything like his NBA clone Ron Artest behind the mic then it won’t be long until he destroys his own musical aspirations and all the trademarks that go along with ’em.


[]: `Pacman’ to give it a go in music

All Other Sports

Pacman Jones describes himself as a "man" on TNA…uh, thanks for the update

So, TNA pulled a fast one on us on Thursday night’s episode of Impact where Pacman Jones was supposed to make his professional wrestling debut. But instead of getting the actual deviant, we got a video of Pacman saying that he was going to be making his first in-person appearance this Sunday at the pay-per-view event Hard Justice.

Of course he is. So, now it looks like not only are we’re going to have to wait a few more days before we start getting some answers about his role within the promotion, but we’ve also gotta shell out $35 or so to see him do it. Thanks TNA. At least we got this teaser to get ready for the big introduction:

Wait, did Pacman say that he was a “team player”? Damn, guess wrestling really is fake after all.

All Other Sports

Pacman Jones is headed to TNA

Its official! Adam “Pacman” Jones has signed the dotted line with professional wrestling promotion TNA and will be making his premier appearance this Thursday at 9 p.m. ET.  So, despite the controversy surrounding Pacman, as if that’s something new for the cornerback, it sounds like he’s really excited about the new opportunity that’s growing out of his rotting NFL career.  But, we’re not sure if Pacman knows exactly what he’s getting into because it seems like he’s a bit confused on how the squared six-sided circle works.

I am a big fan of wrestling, so I wanted to give it a try,” Jones said. “I respect wrestling and I’m not coming in like it’s just a show. I want to prove that I am the greatest team-sport athlete.

We know that they put on tag team bouts in TNA, but we can’t see it really improving your stock as “the greatest team-sport athlete” by participating.  After all, lots of pro players have walked through the doors of TNA and, unfortunately, none of them are of GOAT status.  And anyways, we know that the only thing he’ll be working out is his vocal chords.

Over the next couple of months, I think the world is going to see a different side of Pacman, one it hasn’t seen before,” Jeff Jarrett (Pacman’s trainer) said. “You will really see his personality come out, not just his athletic ability.

Hey, Jeff, just a word of advice: work more on the athletic ability because his personality is what got him in trouble in the first place and is the exact reason why people hate him!  


[]: Adam “Pacman” Jones Signs Contract With Total Nonstop Action (TNA) Wrestling

All Other Sports

Pacman Jones’ backup plan in life: pro wrestling

So, what do you do when you get suspended from your job for being a notorious malcontent with a rap sheet that would make Suge Knight blush? Well, if you’re Pacman Jones, you go to the only place on earth where criminals are openly accepted: pro wrestling!

That’s right, Pacman is stepping into the squared circle for a body slamming good time according to “sources close to WTVF-TV in Nashville.” But before you go off thinking that Vince McMahon has just done it again by cashing in on some real life notoriety, you should know that Pacman isn’t signing with the WWE. Nope, turns out that the spontaneously combusting McMahon (that was fake, right?) got scooped on the deal and the suspended Titan will be joining the high-flying, hard-hitting crew at TNA. So far, there has been no comment from the big wigs at TNA, but they did say that they would release a statement soon.

Personally, we’re as sick of Pacman as the next guy and we really just want to see him rot in a cell, but now that we’ve gotten wind of this little gimmick, we’re starting to change our mind. After all, if there’s even a sliver of a chance that we could see Abyss slam Pacman onto a pile of thumbtacks then we’re all in. And, anyways, there’s no way he could be any worse than this, right?

Unfortunately, it looks like the Titans could be big party poopers as they are now threatening to pull the plug on the whole deal because it would be a violation of his contract. While, we’d love to see Pacman get slammed right on his head, if he’s relegated to a strictly speaking role it could be equally, if not more, entertaining. But we’re still holding out hope that there is a Steiner Recliner somewhere in Pacman’s future.


[]: Pacman Jones A Professional Wrestler?