Bill Plaschke is what he eats


[The Big Lead]: Bill Plaschke Went to Beijing and Ate a Penis

General Sports

Odds and Ends: As if the restrooms at sports stadiums aren’t disgusting enough already

This is seriously one of the sickest old men man ever and he’s exactly why parents need to keep an eye on their kids at all times when attending a ball game.

A man whose trial two years ago made public a long-held fetish for drinking the urine of young boys has surfaced again in the Columbus area.

And according to complaints filed with Dublin police, his fetish still has him helpless to resist it. …

Official reports indicate he has been observed putting Saran wrap on toilet seats in public, sports-related venues with the apparent intent to drink any urine collected there.

It was that practice that drew Patton to the attention of Gahanna authorities in 2006. During his trial, authorities said he collected urine from boys at a movie theater — and at times even paid for it.

Seriously, not even Herbert the Pervert would do something that gross.

In other news…

[More Handy Than Capped]: Nick obviously never saw this before

[The Sports Muffin]: Wazzzup! Beer me!

[]: Karl Malone can’t get a ring in the NBA, so he’s heading to the NHL

[Faded Youth Blog]: Reggie Bush sports the sailor look, complete with big-assed hooker

[]: Six Flags isn’t always as much fun as the old dancing dude makes it seem

[]: Holland has our hearts

[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: (SNARL) The Warrior is back (SNARL) and slower than ever (SNARL)

[Tirico Suave]: You can see it coming from a mile away, but it’s still hilarious

[]: Pacman’s old crib was massive

[]: A one-fingered salute to flipping the bird

And finally, the best video of a guy catching a batting practice home run ever recorded.

College Basketball

We’ve heard of blood on the ice, but chunks on the court is a first for us

A funny thing happened before halftime of the Maryland/Virginia Tech basketball game last night. With under a minute remaining in the opening period, Hokies freshman Dorenzo Hudson barfed all over the court while Maryland was at the charity stripe. We could go into detail about the whole thing, but you know what they say: a picture is worth a thousand words. So, a moving picture must be worth about a thousand “ewwwwww, grosses”.

But some great things came out of this, mainly quotes. Here’s a sample of the responses Dan Steinber of D.C. Sport Bog picked up at the game.

THAT’S DIS-GUS-TING,” the student section began chanting.” …

“I got a whiff of it,” confirmed Maryland fan Russ Dlin, seated in the front row. “It smelled like puke, is what it smelled like.”

Others were more descriptive, and again, feel free to look away.

“I thought he got hit by a drink,” said Gary Harraka, also from the front row. “It just went squirting out. It was pretty disgusting.”

“He was going into his shirt, but it was still flying up,” said senior Greg Weller.

“He was holding his mouth and it sprayed up in the air,” said senior Dan O’Keefe.

“It sprayed at least two feet in the air,” agreed senior Clark Johnson.

“That was mostly liquid, though,” Weller chimed in. “First he blew out mostly chunks right there, then when he started covering up it started deflecting off his shirt.”…

“I was on the bench but I seen him lean back and I was like, ‘Aww, mannnn,’ ” Deron Washington said. “It was more funny than gross. We was laughing. I couldn’t focus for a few minutes ’cause he did that….That’s a first time for me. It was pretty hilarious….I started laughing, then I started getting a little queasy, but we just started clowning him after that.”

Oh, and Thorns did tell Kilgore what the pre-game meal was. “Same thing we always have,” he said: “steak, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese.


[D.C. Sports Bog]: Terps Gag, Hokies Puke: The Story

NFL General

Super Bowl Forty-Ewwww

As if the fact Eli Manning is playing in the Super Bowl isn’t nauseating enough, now we find out that we gotta go dipless for the entire ridiculous six-hour duration of the game. You might think double-dipping is just an everyday occurrence, completely blown out of proportion on an episode of Seinfeld, but you’d be wrong. Oh, boy, would you be wrong.

Clemson University did a study measuring the disgustingness of partaking in chip-to-dip-to-mouth-to-dip-to-mouth behavior and they found Timmy was right; “that’s like putting your whole mouth right in the dip.”

[Clemson professor Paul L.] Dawson said that on average, the students found that the three to six double dips transferred about 10,000 bacteria from an eater’s mouth to the remaining dip sample.

“Our objective was, does it transfer bacteria? And unequivocally, it does,” Dawson said.

In the study, the students looked for the “aerobic bacteria” in the dip samples, which Dawson said is bacteria that grows in the air, as compared to bacteria that might grow in a closed area such as a canned food item.

The professor said the students’ research didn’t get into the risk behind such a bacteria transfer, but they got the idea.

“We didn’t test for whether they were transferring the flu virus or colds. But we know that’s how most colds and flu are transferred,” Dawson said.

And the bottom line at the food table?

“You can eat the dip, but you shouldn’t eat it when someone else is double dipping,” Dawson said, adding, “I like to say it’s like kissing everybody at the party – if you’re double dipping, you’re putting some of your bacteria in that dip.

Wait; kissing everybody at the party is a bad thing? Ohhh, sorry Worm, that sucks for you.


[]: Double dipping alert: Watch for bacteria in your Super Bowl dip

Anaheim Angels

Big league stadium food just got more disgusting

Angels Stadium is being overrun by rats! That’s right, county health officials have handed out 118 vermin violations over the past two and a half years! In fact, just days ago the stadium failed health inspections as it was discovered that a kitchen was full of coach roaches and a concession stand had a problem with rats.

We realize we have an issue at Angel Stadium,” said Richard Sanchez, the agency’s director of environmental health. “We’re stepping up enforcement.

But by the sounds of things, they stadium’s operators really only have themselves to blame for the nasty infestation. These morons don’t bother cleaning the stadium after a night game until the next freakin’ morning! That means that garbage just sits in the stands, kiosks and kitchens from 10 o’clock at night until 6:00 a.m. and that’s on a good day. Many times the trash doesn’t get picked up for more than 12 hours; talk about a completely unnecessary and disgusting public health risk.

When asked why the stadium isn’t cleaned immediately following games, the vice president of communications for the Angels responded with, “That’s a great question and that’s something I can’t answer.” So, considering that they have been completely blind and ignorant to this issue for the last couple of years, we’re going to assume that “stepping up enforcement” is really code for “we’ll try not to serve our customers actual fried rats.” Regardless, we’re going to be smuggling our peanuts and Cracker Jacks into the game from now on.


[]: Oh, Rats! Rodents Found In Angel Stadium
[]: Rat infestation at stadium

All Other Sports

This dude is lucky he’s not a horse or he’d be glue by now

Every now and again we feel compelled to bring you a moment of stomach turning disgust. Don’t believe us? Just check out our Top 10 Most Gruesome sports injuries. So, today’s painful moment comes to us from the world of MMA where some guy snaps his leg in two during a fight.

We have no idea about the who, when or where of this horrifying accident, but does it really matter? After all, we are talking about a guy who shattered his leg bone for the entire world to see and be grossed out by. How often does something like that happen in life? Oh, wait; now that we’ve recovered from our lightheadedness we know why this is starting to feel like déjà vu all over again. We tried to mentally block it out but our BONUS injury lives on.