Tag: crime

Categories
College Football

Louisville Cardinals WRs hunt… The Most Dangerous Game


It never ceases to amaze us how stupid athletes can be. (Yes, we know that even laboratory mice learn after 300 shocks of electricity…) Anyway, two University of Louisville wide receivers were arrested and charged with second degree assault after shooting a woman with paintball guns outside one of those Haunted House things that spring up around Halloween. Chris Vaughn and Scott Long were suspended after the incident on Sunday.

From the obvious file comes this statement from coach Bobby Petrino: “It’s definitely something we don’t condone in our program.” It’s a shame too because if it was something that the Louisville did condone, jersey sales would have skyrocketed. Ahh… missed marketing opportunities.

[The Courier-Journal]: Two U of L reserves arrested, suspended

Categories
All Other Sports

Sports Father of the Year


Don’t even bother with more nominations folks, the 2006 Father of the Year is Philadelphia’s Wayne Derkotch. Derkotch pulled a gun on the coach of his son’s pee-wee football team because his (now psychologically scarred son) wasn’t getting enough playing time. According to witnesses, Derkotch started arguing with the coach and the two started fighting before Derkotch pulled out a .357 Magnum. Everyone hit the ground and Derkotch took off in his truck.

The referee of the game, Shawn Henwood, tried to write down the license plate number when another upstanding citizen by the name of Paul Derkotch knocked the paper out of his hand and started fighting with the ref. By now, cops were on the scene and they saw Henwood hit Paul Derkotch in the jaw and arrested Henwood. (Ironic that a ref would get arrested for the retaliation and not the initial blow, isn’t it?) In any case, police also tracked down Wayne Derkotch and arrested him.

So now the junion Derkotch, in addition to sucking at pee wee football also has a lunatic for a father. We’re gonna go ahead and guess that he’s not going to grow up to be a Supreme Court judge.

Links:
[Philly.com]: A dad and the ref are charged

Categories
Boston Celtics

Sebastian Telfair got into a fight with Denny Terio and shot Fabolous in the lips?



Should’ve worn a Celtics jersey

According to reports, two men robbed Sebastian Telfair of his $64k chain at gunpoint and ran off. Telfair then saw the men inside of a club owned by P. Diddy and realized they were part of Fabolous’ crew, “The Street Family”. One cell phone call from Telfair and 23 minutes later, Fabolous gets shot in the thigh. Coincidence? Telfair says yes but the NYPD are saying no and that he is being investigated for the shooting.

Tefair says that he’s being painted as a bad person when he merely was having dinner with his fiancee. His lawyer called him a lovely young man so, you know, he couldn’t have anything to do with the shooting.

Meanwhile, Stephon Marbury, who is trying to shop around a talk show, got a little testy when asked about it.


He’s my little cousin. That’s my little cousin. That’s a stupid question. That’s my little cousin. You don’t ask me (expletive) like that. Somebody put a gun to him. If somebody put a gun to one of your family, wouldn’t you be concerned? You don’t want to ask that.

Marbury then made a cell phone call and half an hour later, the reporter was shot in the leg.

Links:
[Boston Herald]: Telfair saga lengthens
[Hip HopDX]: Sebastian Telfair Robbery and Fabolous Shooting Linked?
[ESPN]: Celts’ Telfair denies role in shooting of rapper Fabolous

Categories
NFL General

Stadium threats "non-credible" but you should probably stay away from Oakland anyway

The FBI has deemed the threat against seven NFL stadiums non-credible and is interviewing a “young adult” in Milwaukee who is suspected of posting the message on an internet site called “The Friend Society”. The message said that trucks would deliver radiological dirty bombs on Sunday (it’s the last day of Ramadan) to New York, Miami, Atlanta, Seattle, Houston, Oakland and Clevelend. Perhaps the tip off to the feds was that the Jets actually play in New Jersey. As for the young adult, he’s currently shitting his pants as he awaits his “Code F’ed in the A” in Gitmo.

The poster, handle of “javness”, wrote:

The death toll will approach 100,000 from the initial blasts and countless other fatalities will later occur as result from radioactive fallout.

Later, through al-Jazeera, Osama bin Laden will issue a video message claiming responsibility for what he dubbed ‘America’s Hiroshima.’

Well, since it’s going to happen at NFL games, wouldn’t the message be relayed through the al-Jazeera for athletes, ESPN?

The FBI warned the NFL and stadium security teams but since the threat is not credible, no increase in security is expected this weekend. So. as always, expect to get your ass kicked a the Oakland Colliseum if you’re in Cardinals colors this weekend.

Links:
[USA Today]: FBI interviewing ‘young adult’ over NFL ‘dirty bomb’ threat

Categories
College Football

The 2006 Marcus Williams Award goes to…



Taylor and Houston

Eulas Jerrel Taylor III and Brandon Houston of Ball State football! Both were arrested before the team bus left for the game against Central Michigan for suspicion of burglary and possession of stolen property. Police were responding to a fire alarm when they were told by students that three laptops were stolen from two dorm rooms and that they saw one person throw a bag out the window to another.

The football team has suspended the two players indefinitely until the matter is resolved. Good going guys. Say goodbye to those scholarships.

Links:
[Fort Wayne.com]: Two Ball State football players arrested on theft charges

Categories
Orlando Magic

Orlando Magic execs got jacked by political consultant


The Orlando Magic today confirmed that they paid $200,000 to Doug Guetzloe, a radio host and leader of Ax the Tax, a grass roots group that opposes tolls and tax increases for “consulting”. And by consulting, they mean hush money so that Guetzloe’s activists didn’t speak out against a campaign for a new arena.


If the Magic didn’t hire him as a consultant this year, [Magic COO Alex] Martins said, they feared someone else would pay him to attack the projects.

“We were told there was an offer by those in the small minority that opposed the venues to hire him if we did not. And we felt pressured to hire him because of that fact. In hindsight . . . it was an error in judgment on our part.

Orlando Magic fans must be thrilled to find out that their ticket dollars are being used to pay a guy to shut up so the Magic can get more tax dollars out of their pockets to build an arena and jack up ticket prices. We haven’t seen anything like this since Stringer Bell paid Clay Davis $250,000 to open the faucet. (Semi-obscure allusion that should be a lot less obscure.)

Links:
[Field of Schemes]: Magic paid hush money to activist
[Orland Sentinel]: Magic: We paid Guetzloe, too

Categories
NFL General

Lawrence Phillips is going to be someone’s girlfriend


Former Nebraska star RB Lawrence Phillips was convicted today of seven counts of assault with a deadly weapon and is facing up to 20 years in prison. The incident occured last year when Phillips was upset about losing in a pickup football game and in his little mind decided that the other players were stealing from him so he got into his car (well, it was stolen but it was his for the moment) and proceeded to try to run everyone down. (It kind of reminds us of the guy in White Men Can’t Jump who threatened to get his other gun and shoot everybody.) Phillips ran over two boys age 14 and 15 and a 19 year old. His excuse? That the car hit the front wheel of a bicycle and fishtailed into the kids. What kind of car is so weak that a bicycle tire causes it to fishtail? Was Phillips driving an Adobe?

You know how commercials say that past performance is not guarantee of future returns? Well, that certainly can’t be said of Lawrence Phillips who was 1) suspended from the Cornhuskers for dragging his exgirlfriend by the hair down a flight of steps, 2) got into a fight with Dick Vermeil — Dick Vermeil! 3) assaulted a woman in a nightclub while with the Dolphins, 4) kicked off the Montreal Alouettes for insubordination, and 5) cut by the Calgary Stampeders for yelling at a coach. A blind man could see a pattern there.

Sentencing is expected on October 19th. And somewhere Steve Young is having a private chuckle.

Links:
[Yahoo]: Lawrence Phillips convicted of assault with deadly weapon

Categories
San Diego Chargers

Chargers still trailing Bengals by 5 arrests



Gets on the scoreboard

If the Bengals are Jailblazers East, does that make the Chargers the Bengals West or Jailblazers South? It’s hard to keep up with these nicknames for football teams anymore. On Monday cornerback Markus Curry was arrested on suspicion of domestic violence. While at Michigan, Curry was arrested and put on probation for… you guessed it… domestic abuse.

Curry was immediately released by the team although GM A.J. Smith would not confirm that the release was a result of the arrest. Smith said, “There are many reasons why a player is released.” Ummm… sure. Just because B follows A doesn’t mean that A caused B. We get it. Just like Britney Spears turning into a fat disgusting mess had nothing to do with her hillbilly upbringing.

This marks the 5th arrest by a Chargers player. Shaun Phillips and Steve Foley were arrested in April, Steve Foley was arrested/shot in September. Terrence Kiel was arrested for selling cough syrup in late September. And now Curry. The Bengals have had 6 players arrested but since Chris Henry was arrested four times, they have an almost insurmountable lead in the crime department. Henry was started his two game suspension yesterday for violating the NFL’s conduct policy.

Links:
[Sign On San Diego]: Bolts CB arrested; released by team

[Salt Lake Tribune]: NFL: Suspension begins for Henry

Categories
San Diego Chargers

Chargers safety arrested for selling cough syrup

Update: The controlled substance that Kiel is accused of posessing with intent to sell is codeine-based cough syrup. Kiel admitted to shipping two parcels of prescription cough syrup to Texas.

SS Terrence Kiel was arrested after practice on Tuesday on drug chargers.  According to reports, federal DEA agents searched Kiel’s locker and car and left with the player.  Kiel has been charged with possession, possession for sale and transportation of a controlled substance. Kiel was then released on a $150k bond. The involvement of the DEA means that Kiel is screwed.

This reminds us of Dennis McKinley from the Cardinals who was caught with 1,500 lbs of pot and was arrested for being a criminal mastermind who imported drugs from Mexico and distributed it via tractor trailer to multiple states.

Kiel makes about $500,000k a year if you prorate his $1.25M signing bonus. You can’t maintain an NFL player’s lifestyle on half a mil.  Gas and rims for those SUVs cost money.  Kiel is just trying to make ends meet.  

Links:
[SignOnSanDiego]:  Chargers safety Kiel arrested at practice

Categories
Cincinnati Bengals

Attention Identity Thieves: Here’s Odell Thurman’s Social Security Number


The Cincinnati Enquirer released the police video of the Odell Thurman arrest today. It’s long and uneventful except for one thing — you can get Odell Thurman’s social security number from it. From his player page, you know he was born on 7/9/1983. Now you figure out his mother’s maiden name and you’re good to go. Better hurry up though, there’s speculation that Thurman will be suspended a full year by the NFL for this latest infraction since he was already serving a 4 game suspension. That money is going to dry up fast.

You’d think the police or the Cinci Enquirer would have the good sense to bleep out his social security number when releasing the video. But you know, maybe those annoying Visa commercials have squashed identify theft already.

Links:
[Cincinnati Enquirer]: Video: Thurman’s arrest

[Cincinnati Post]: Thurman faces new suspension