Categories
General Sports

SportsCenter needs some new blood, even if it is 83-years-old

You know, ESPN wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for all the clowns they use in front of the cameras. Thank goodness the NBA Finals finished up in just four games because we couldn’t take any more of Stuart Scott’s on-location improv. And while the nausea begins with the Cyclops for most fans, unfortunately the mother ship’s horrifically annoying lineup is deep; real deep. John Anderson, Scott Van Pelt, Kenny Mayne, John Buccigross, Steve Berthiaume, Neil Everett; the list goes on and on. And don’t even get us started about that sick freak Chris Berman. So, when we heard that SportsCenter was taking celebrity applications, we had just five words for the ESPN bigwigs: “Bob Barker, come on down!”

Talk about an impressive audition! He’s already got more charisma and mass appeal than any of those dopes we listed earlier, and who wouldn’t want to her Bob’s World War II stories during slow news days? Then you’ve got Barker’s Beauties. Now, those are some women that Joe Namath would want to kiss even if he wasn’t piss drunk. Sorry Suzy, you know you’re like a little sister to us.

Categories
Soccer

Odds and Ends: Could you shut up, Lionel Richie is trying to work here


Lionel Richie performed at English soccer player John Terry’s wedding this week and he wasn’t too happy about some of the players reactions to his songs:


A witness said: “It was really embarrassing. Toni was looking very anxious about the lads making a real fool of her. When he started singing Hello the boys started chanting back to him as if they were on the football ground terraces. They had downed so much champagne at the reception the guests became really lairy and started shouting over his set.

“In the end he asked the crowd to be quiet and said, `I’ve only got two more songs, please stick with me.’

“When he came off stage he moaned to one of the organisers, `I imagine this is what it’s like at a working men’s club’.

Maybe Lionel is just on edge because his daughter has been knocked up by some dude from the worst band on the planet? (Via The Offside)

In other news…

[USA Today]: Duke lax: alls well that ends with a cash settlement

[RGJ.com]: Golfer’s bad swing sparks brush fire

[Inside Bay Area]: Kyle Petty to drive, broadcast at the same time. Why not have a cup of coffee while he’s at it.

[Newsday.com]: Vin Baker arrested for DWI

[NY Daily News]: Yankees sign 2 players from China

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: Even REM bassist/keyboardist/singer fed up with Braves fans

[The Big Lead]: Elijah Dukes calls radio station to confirm that he is insane

And finally, can you idiots stop congratulating Tiger Woods on the birth of his daughter? He doesn’t really give a shit what you think.

Categories
Philadelphia Eagles

The Freak is officially a music video extra

So, it appears that Jevon Kearse has been donating his off the field services to some really crappy rappers for a really crappy song that got made into a really crappy video. Kearse makes a pair of brief but very impact appearances (3:40 and 1:46 marks) in Shawty featuring T-Pain and Symon Dagrapp’s single entitled Piles. Uh, who?

Now, we don’t know too much about the modern hippity-hop, but we figured that if Jevon wanted to be in someone’s rap video, it would have been more along the line of 50 Cent or Snoop Dogg. But hey, if Lil’ John is working on the same project as the Freak, then it has got to be some extremely high quality work.

Links:

[The 700 Level]: Jevon Kearse in rap video

Categories
All Other Sports

The sweetest mop fighting action since Coming to America

This sounds like some ridiculous scene out of a movie:


Provo Police Capt. Cliff Argyle said distance runner Kyle Perry, 23, was traveling east on Center Street when he reportedly struck a pedestrian in a crosswalk with his car.

Argyle said after hitting the pedestrian, who was pushing a mop bucket, Perry is accused of getting out of his vehicle, grabbing a mop from the bucket and striking the pedestrian with the mop. The pedestrian reportedly grabbed another mop to defend himself, Argyle said.

Perry is accused of then shoving the pedestrian over a planter box and getting back into his car and attempting to leave the scene. But the pedestrian reportedly stood in front of the vehicle and didn’t allow Perry to leave until police arrived.

Which of course leads us to this scene:

Really, there was no need for Samuel L to shoot up the ceiling.

Links:
[Deseret News]: Y. runner arrested in mop-swinging assault

Categories
Chicago Bears

Damn, Tommie! Not you too.


What is it with sports and big mouths? Chicago Bears D-lineman Tommie Harris has joined Kobe Bryant, Clinton Portis and Billy Donovan on the recent list of guys who are quick to retreat from their actions.

Harris was in Philadelphia last week to attend Donovan McNabb’s charity golf tournament when someone stuck a microphone in front of him and effortless got Harris to start blabbering about how desperately he wants McNabb to QB in Chicago; all the while, seemingly forgetting that Rex Grossman is currently serving that role after offensively navigating the Bears to the Super Bowl.

According to the Chicago Tribune, Harris said: “I’d love to have [McNabb] as my quarterback in Chicago . . . Hopefully, he comes here and helps the Chicago Bears win the Super Bowl . . . If he comes to Chicago, we’ll definitely win the Super Bowl . . . He’s my friend and I would like him to play on my team . . . I’d love him to play for the Bears.”

Harris then continued, ending with this: “Hopefully we get Donovan.

But, of course, Tommie was just kidding around and blames the whole thing on Donovan for egging him on.

I will be careful the next time I joke around,” Harris told reporters. “Donovan was behind the camera laughing. We were joking around and it escalated to more than what it was. I apologized to the rest of my team. I was very embarrassed with how much it blew up with the media. My team forgave me, so that’s all that matters.

Okay, we’re not buying the whole “joke” copout on this one, Tommie. But apparently Grossman is because he seemed to think it was all “not that big of a deal.” Still, we’re really getting sick of the backtracking that is going on in sports today and the lame excuses that these athletes think the public is gullible enough to believe. Give us a freaking break for once; either shut the hell up altogether until you have clearly thought about the possible ramifications of your comments or stick to your statements, if that is how you honestly feel. Quit wasting our time with B.S.; all it does is make you look completely foolish.

Links:

[Philly.com]: Love for McNabb from Bears lineman, who quickly backpedals

Categories
LA Lakers

$1.99 to see Kobe rant against the Lakers organization?


I know that pretty much everything is wide open in the sports blogging world but the owners of “The Kobe Video” seem so shady. While they purportedly have been offered “a lucrative offer” to destroy the tape, they feel to need to make it public because information wants to be free… or $1.99.

The big story in the tape apparently is that Bryant rips on the Lakers organization for not trading for Jason Kidd because they wanted to bold onto Andrew Bynum. OK cool. And Kobe probably curses and bunch and talks about all the assholes in the Lakers organization. For this, I’m supposed to part with $2? Especially since someone will watch the video and post it or the transcript of it anyway?

What I’m afraid of is that these opportunists will actually benefit from this and then athletes will no longer talk to fans candidly for fear of being videotaped and posted on the internet.

The video was taken around June 10th which means it’s already old news. I don’t know what it is but it just seems like this is a mildly interesting story that’s getting a lot of play for no reason. And these guys are trying to make a cheap buck out of it. I don’t begrudge people who try to make a fast buck but it should be at least clever or amusing. This is just a guy talking to Kobe while Kobe was clearly agitated about his situation. I’m not here to defend Kobe but this whole thing is cheap.

Here’s an interesting take on the Kobe video on Sports Law Blog.

Links:
[Lakers Blog]: Obviously, there are worse “amateur videos” to pop up in
[Hoops World]: Lakers: Video – Bryant Frustrated

Categories
Soccer

Alexi Lalas calls Premiership "inferior product"


We know that Galaxy GM Alexi Lalas is trying to drum up publicity for David Beckham’s arrival in the United States but this is just sheer lunacy:


There’s no accounting for bad taste. That a segment of the world worships an inferior product in the Premiership is their business. English football now has the haves and the have-nots. It’s just that the Premiership have become so skilled in presentation. They took a page out of American football and so now they have Saturday Showdowns and Super Sundays. I love it. This is high-calibre marketing – taking an inferior product and improving it through packaging.

The experts in England talk about David Beckham as if he’s going into semi-retirement. It’s insulting to say Beckham is on his way to Hollywood when he’s coming to play in one of the most competitive leagues in the world. There are a lot of stars who would struggle here.

There’s this delusion that if it’s English then it’s great. But a whole world exists outside of England. That’s reflected in the difficulties they had when everyone ran to the Premiership. Maybe it’s OK for the fan but, for the average development of the players, their game is struggling.

This is tantamount of the Canadian Football League calling out the NFL. Here are five reasons why MLS is not one of the most competitive leagues in the world.

Links:
[Guardian UK]: Premiership inferior, says Lalas

Categories
Cincinnati Bengals

Getting arrested is no way to make the Bengals roster


Let say you’re a second year running back who was on the Bengals’ practice squad last year. Let’s say you were signed to the offseason roster and trying to make the active roster this year. Wouldn’t the absolute last thing you do is get arrested? Well, not Quincy Wilson.

Wilson was arrested around 3 a.m. Sunday morning and charged with disorderly conduct. He was with a large wedding celebration that spilled outside of a bar in downtown Huntington, West Virginia. Police came by and told the crowd to disperse because gunshots had been reported at another bar up the street. The crowd refused to do so and 14 people including Wilson were arrested.

Wilson is the 10th Bengal arrested in just over a year. Considering that the Bengals are very wary of their image (and possible fines) under the league’s new personal conduct policy, expect the news headline “Bengals RB Wilson released” any second now.

Links:
[Cincy Post]: Wilson latest Bengal arrested

Categories
All Other Sports

This dude is lucky he’s not a horse or he’d be glue by now

Every now and again we feel compelled to bring you a moment of stomach turning disgust. Don’t believe us? Just check out our Top 10 Most Gruesome sports injuries. So, today’s painful moment comes to us from the world of MMA where some guy snaps his leg in two during a fight.

We have no idea about the who, when or where of this horrifying accident, but does it really matter? After all, we are talking about a guy who shattered his leg bone for the entire world to see and be grossed out by. How often does something like that happen in life? Oh, wait; now that we’ve recovered from our lightheadedness we know why this is starting to feel like déjà vu all over again. We tried to mentally block it out but our BONUS injury lives on.

Categories
Golf

Golf just got a little bit more frustrating for the rest of us

Don’t you just hate reading those stories about 100-year-old farts that bowl perfect games or blind guys that absolutely own the local pool hall’s tables? Sometimes it’s enough to just make you want to throw up. Well, hopefully you’re not reading with a full stomach because for some of you golfers out there this is gonna be more than you can handle.

Elizabeth Wang is a greenhorn in the world of golf having picked up a club for the first time only six months ago. However, in that very short amount of time her swing has become a thing of beauty and she has now hit not one, but two hole-in-ones. Oh, and did we mention that Elizabeth is in the second grade and just turned 7-years-old?

And the beauty of this whole thing is that while normal hackers like us are out there busting hump trying to fine tune our mechanics, this little girl is writing down ones in her free time between learning basic grammar and watching reruns of Blue’s Clues.

I want to be a surgeon and a professional golfer. Like when I’m at (my) lunch hour I can go golfing … and sometimes when I’m off work then I can go golfing too.

Michelle Wie should feel pretty darn lucky that Elizabeth is going to be really busy with her whole surgeon career choice and all, or else she could start losing some of that seriously ridiculous endorsement money to this kid real soon.

And to put the cherry on top of the sundae; there was no way we could talk about a hole-in-one without reliving one of the greatest moments in the history of golf, where sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good.

Links:

[9News.com]: 7 year old girl already has two hole-in-ones