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All Other Sports

Another pointless world record is about to be broken



From that day on, if I was ever going
somewhere, I was running!

You probably think you’re a real speed demon when you take off to the local high school track and rip off a few laps around the ol’ quarter mile loop. Or you might even be a more serious runner who racks up the mileage, going 20, 30, maybe 40 miles a week. If you’re putting in that type of work then give yourself a hearty pat on the back. But guess what; you still suck compared to this guy.

Dean Karnazes is a freaking running machine! Some of his achievements include a running session of 350 nonstop miles, running 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 days, and running the equivalent of 90 marathons in 2006. Well, Karnazes has a new endurance record to demolish; this born again Steve Prefontaine is going to run over 153.76 miles in a 24 hour period on a treadmill.

Not that we’re going to bet against Dean, but we have no idea how this guy can possible do it. We get worn out after traveling 153 miles in a car. Hell, a plane ride that distance isn’t a picnic either.

This is all going down in the heart of New York City at Times Square, so there are sure to be some jerks giving the guy lip service as he runs in place. But we don’t think we’re the only ones who’ll agree that this beats the hell out of David Blain’s stupid gimmicks.

Links:

[TheMilwaukeeChannel.com]: Man Tries To Run More Than 150 Miles On Treadmill In 24 Hours

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All Other Sports

Veteran Jockey proves that Napoleon complex is a reality

You’ve probably never heard the name Victor Molina before, but all you Barbaro lovers won’t be forgetting it anytime soon. That’s because the long time jockey got pissed off when his horse Yes Yes Ohyes reared up in the starting gates during Monday’s races at a Philadelphia racetrack and struck Molina in the chest. So, how does the predictably tiny jockey deal with the unruly colt? Why he hops off and gives the 2-year-old a swift kick to the belly.

The threat of knowing the horse could hurt you, if anything, got me upset,” he said. “The idea that I could have got hurt, I just got mad at him. Maybe that’s why I kicked him.

What do you mean “maybe” that’s why you kicked him? Were there some other extenuating circumstances in your relationship that we don’t know about? C’mon, don’t pull this typical athlete B.S. and beat around the bush. Just be a man and admit that you blew a gasket and went haywire on an innocent animal. There’s no sense in making it something it’s not, the entire act was caught on tape.

The little bastard went on to say:

My chest still hurts, but that’s not what hurts me most right now,” he said. “It’s what happened to my reputation. My record is clean and it speaks for itself.

Yeah, reputations tend to be destroyed when you treat animals like $#!+; just ask Michael Vick. Molina’s penalty has yet to be revealed, but we’re hoping it’s more than just a simple fine or brief suspension. Hell, if it was up to us, we’d say it should be an eye for an eye. Or, actually, it should be a kick for a kick, and we recommend this big fella does the kicking:

Either that or we just ferret leg his punk ass!

Links:

[FirstCoastNews.com]: Jockey Kicks Horse

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Milwaukee Brewers

It’s a good thing the Brewers can play baseball because their acting sucks

Not too long ago, we brought you the story of Denver Broncos tough guy turned ESPN windbag turned Guiding Light private detective Mark Schlereth. Well, it turns out that Roc Hoover isn’t the only pro athlete to get bitten by the soap opera acting bug. On Wednesday, four members of the Milwaukee Brewers, J.J. Hardy, Bill Hall, Chris Capuano and Jeff Suppan, made their small-screen debuts on the estrogenfest known to most daytime soap viewers as The Young and the Restless.

Like most athletes, the Brew crew was completely awkward during their big scene. What makes things even worse for the wannabe soap stars is that they were playing themselves. You’d figure that if anyone could play the Brewers, it would be the Brewers. Well, then again, J.J. seemed pretty relaxed as he spit out his “She can warm up with me anytime” line.

Links:

[WFRV.com]: `Restless’ Brewers Prove To Be Budding Soap Stars

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Miami Dolphins

The NFL is screwing Dolphins fans


It’s bad enough that the Dolphins have a “home” game against the NY Giants in London, now the NFL is treating it like some sold out secret Prince concert and telling Dolphins fans that if they buy tickets to the game in London, they have to pick them up themselves.

So let’s say that you buy your tickets for the London game and have an unavoidable scheduling conflict (like one of your idiot friends schedules a wedding that weekend), you couldn’t resell your tickets, even at face value. We understand that the NFL is trying to curb scalping but considering that a lot of NFL teams have a “marketing agreement” with ticket resellers, this seems awfully hypocritical. The NFL can profit all they want, but you cannot.

By the way, notice that this was a home game for the Dolphins but not the Giants. God forbid the NFL takes away a home game from the Giants. At least they were making it a little more even, they usually just try to give the Giants extra home games.

Links:

[sun Sentinel]: NFL doesn’t want Dolphins fans re-selling London game tickets

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Soccer

We always thought the butt slap was really fruity until this soccer player proved us wrong

We’re sure that soccer has amazingly athletic and graceful plays that occur from time to time, but for some reason the only news that catches our eye from the world of futbol seems to involve riots or, uh, well, riots. That is, until now. We’re still not moved to the point of showing you highlights or anything but we did come across a clip that we thought we’d share with you. Apparently it’s a few years old but that doesn’t mean the incredible gayness of the whole thing has diminished in the least.

And you fools thought that Chad Johnson and T.O. liked to “celebrate in a different way.” Even Dennis Rodman thought the soccer dude’s behavior was kind of disturbing.

Links:

[The Offside]: ‘Biting his Unit’ s certainly a different way to celebrate

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All Other Sports

A new king of extreme will be crowned at Vengeance



Say hello to your soon-to-be ECW
champ.

As expected, ECW continued to push the spontaneous explosion of Vincent Kennedy McMahon but we don’t really want to waste your time with that crap. After all, the WWE is doing an exceptional job of boring us for at least 15 minutes of every show with footage of the big boom.

The highlight of this week’s ECW came when the contenders for the ECW championship match at Vengeance were announced. First off, there was a match between Chris Benoit and Elijah Burke which resulted in the New Breed leader tapping out to a sharpshooter by Benoit. That put Benoit in the title bout against the winner of Marcus Cor Von and CM Punk.

In the main event of the evening, The Alpha Male and Punk put together a very physical match that ended when Punk hit the GTS out of nowhere. Of course, Benoit had to come out and interrupt the celebration by Mr. Straight Edge as the two had a pre-championship stare down/handshake to close the show. It was all very cheesy, indeed. While Benoit is the seasoned vet in this match and he is looking to grab his first ECW title, we gotta figure that it’s time for the brand’s biggest and brightest star to take his spot as the hardcore king on Sunday.

Some of the side dishes of the show included an appearance by the worm slurping Boogie Man, Kevin Thorne’s spanking of Tommy Dreamer and the victorious debut of supplemental draftee from RAW, Johnny Nitro. Oh, and for some strange reason it seems like a couple of the ladies from Extreme Expose are in lust with that douche The Miz. Geez, can’t wait to see that love triangle pan out.

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All Other Sports

People need to stop inventing new sports

If you thought badminton was lame, there’s an even lamer sport built on top of it. Meet blackmington — it’s like speedminton, which is based on badminton, tennis and squash.

Blackminton is like speedminton but played in the dark with neon paint and black lighting. And… uhhh… it’s huge in France.

The NFL better watch out.

Links:

[Toronto star]: Badminton at night, on steroids

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Sacramento Kings

Reggie Theus is the Prodigal King

The Kings are bringing home one of their own by hiring Reggie Theus as their new head coach. Reggie played 13 seasons in the NBA and 3 with the Sacramento Kings. This isn’t like Reggie Miller going back to coach the Pacers but he has some connection with the club.

The Kings co-owner Gavin Maloof might have been a little too over-enthusiastic in their press release announcing the hiring of Theus though:


He’s the King of Kings. He had a great career as a player with this franchise and now he has a chance to be the head coach of the team. He did a wonderful job with the New Mexico State program. He’s very well thought of and revered in Las Cruces and we’re just really excited to have him on board.

Coach Bill Fuller is now Jesus Christ? How’d that happen? Let’s hope he assembles a better team than this sorry squad.

Links:
[NBA.com]: KINGS AND REGGIE THEUS REACH A COACHING AGREEMENT

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Tennessee Titans

When keeping it real goes wrong: Pacman Jones


You know what, Pacman? It’s ok to not keep it real if you got millions and lifelong security at stake. Either that or you can be the fastest guy on the Wal-Mart flag football team.

On Monday, we told you about the latest incident with strippers and guns. Well, more details are coming out and it just seems like Pacman Jones is an idiot who cares more about his thug image than he does getting back in the league.


According to the police report, Jones became angry after another patron at Club Blaze asked an entertainer for a dance and told the man, “I’ll kill all y’all in here.”

An off-duty cop working as a security guard at the club also told police he overheard Jones say, “I’m going to get my gun” as the Titans’ star left the club.

Pacman is like a bad imitation of the guy in White Men Can’t Jump who threatened to get his gun and kill everyone after Wesley and Woody snookered him. He absolutely just doesn’t care whether he’s back in the league or not. Can Goodell ban him from the NFL while on his suspension for this season?

Think about this for a second: Chris Henry got the same memo and Pacman Jones and he hasn’t been in trouble yet. How sad is it when Chris Henry is smarter than you?

Links:
[NY Daily News]: NFL wants Pacman facts

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All Other Sports

Blowing yourself up isn’t as easy as it use to be


The WWE figured that faking Vince McMahon’s death (yes, you morons, he’s not dead) last week was going to be a great way to create additional interest in the show. Unfortunately, lots of people are actually completely turned off the by the ridiculous storyline and continuous on-air blabber about how McMahon is “presumed dead” and the “federal investigation” that is surrounding the limo explosion. What the wrestling empire wasn’t expecting was a possible law suit.

According to the Securities and Exchange Act of 1934, the WWE is in violation because the fake death could have unfairly influenced investors.

Rule 10b-5, pursuant to Section 10(b) of the Securities and Exchange Act of 1934, prohibits misleading statements or omissions of material fact in connection with the purchase or sale of any security, and that includes press releases that intentionally and also, in most courts, recklessly mislead investors.

Now, we have no idea if this will actually end up heading to court, but hopefully it will make the writers at WWE think twice before they subject their audience to another horrible, horrible storyline. Maybe the next time Vince needs a vacation, they will just write him off the show instead of killing him in an explosion. And you know he’s gonna show up in a month or two; talk about another lame plot. But, still, we can’t wait to see how pathetically they try to pull that off.

Links:

[Sports Law Blog]: Did Vince McMahon’s Fake Death Violate Security Laws?