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Milwaukee Brewers

Bob Uecker’s low point in life is no longer being choked by Andre the Giant


Bob Uecker’s yacht was docked juuuuust a bit outside of where it should have been in a Milwaukee harbor and the sucker got smashed by a 550-foot freighter on Tuesday. Mr. Belvedere’s arch nemesis was unharmed in the mêlée, but the yacht was badly damaged, leaving Uecker in a bit of a pickle.

The freighter crashed into the yacht while it was docked near Milwaukee, causing thousands of dollars in damage, WISC-TV reported. No injuries were reproted.

Uecker was supposed to use the boat in his charity fishing tournament for the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Wisconsin. A local boat dealer loaned him another boat for the event.

Renee Kirnberger, who represents the foundation, said that Uecker wasn’t thrilled by what happened but he’s more concerned about the tournament.

Yea, after raising that little brat Wesley (except for that one time he wasn’t lying) for six seasons, Uecker built up quite a tolerance for bad news.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Bob Uecker’s Yacht Wrecked By Freighter
[Channel3000.com]: Freighter Crashes Into Uecker’s Yacht Near Milwaukee

Categories
Milwaukee Brewers

It’s a good thing the Brewers can play baseball because their acting sucks

Not too long ago, we brought you the story of Denver Broncos tough guy turned ESPN windbag turned Guiding Light private detective Mark Schlereth. Well, it turns out that Roc Hoover isn’t the only pro athlete to get bitten by the soap opera acting bug. On Wednesday, four members of the Milwaukee Brewers, J.J. Hardy, Bill Hall, Chris Capuano and Jeff Suppan, made their small-screen debuts on the estrogenfest known to most daytime soap viewers as The Young and the Restless.

Like most athletes, the Brew crew was completely awkward during their big scene. What makes things even worse for the wannabe soap stars is that they were playing themselves. You’d figure that if anyone could play the Brewers, it would be the Brewers. Well, then again, J.J. seemed pretty relaxed as he spit out his “She can warm up with me anytime” line.

Links:

[WFRV.com]: `Restless’ Brewers Prove To Be Budding Soap Stars

Categories
Milwaukee Brewers

Brewers’ latest promotion goes ass up


If you thought that Reese’s did a good job of combining two of your favorite treats into one tasty experience, just wait until you get a load of the Milwaukee Brewers’ latest promotion.

Fans at today’s game will have the opportunity to get free tickets to an upcoming game and all they have to do to get them is participate in a free prostate exam. Yup, just let the good folks at the National Prostate Cancer Coalition feel inside your anus and you could get a pair of crappy (no pun intended) tickets to a Brewers game. Now, we know the Brew Crew is playing some pretty good ball right now but we’d rather throw down the $20-$30 bucks for our seats, thank you very much. Oh, and only the first 50 brave souls to get in line will get the tickets. Hopefully the 51st guy found that out before taking a finger to ass for nothing.

This is probably all very professional, well as professional as you can be in the rectal exam-mobile, but can you imagine walking out of that RV and having all your fellow fans pointing and laughing at you from the ticket line as you gingerly make your way over to the gates. Talk about the walk of shame. And anyways, how are you supposed to sit in a hard, plastic seat for three hours after that? But if you slap the magic word “free” in front of anything there will always be some cheap bastards lining up around the block. Some people will do anything for a little extra beer money.

Links:

[Bugs and Cranks]: Brewers Kicking, Inspecting Ass
[Froedtert.com]: Free Prostate Cancer Screenings at Miller Park
[OnMilwaukee.com]: Free Prostate Cancer Screening