Categories
Miami Dolphins

Roger Goodell is licking his chops over some new blood


Now that Pacman Jones is looking at spending some serious time in jail and will probably never play in the NFL again, you’re probably wondering who’s going to give you your dose of pro football foolishness. Well look no further than the Miami Dolphins’ Frederick Davis to carry the torch.

Early Saturday morning, Miami Beach police arrested Davis outside of a nightclub after he forced his way into a taxi and then refused to get out. Eventually, Davis was tasered twice by the cops, but not without a fight. One cop got bit by Davis and another received scraps on her knee during the encounter.

Davis got nailed with a whole laundry list of charges that not only pissed off his coach, but are sure to arouse the anger of the mighty Roger Goodell. And that is the last thing any young player wants. But this again begs the question, when are these idiots going to learn? Despite the incredible physical strain being placed on your body, the NFL is one of the single greatest jobs on the face of the planet. All you have to do is act like an adult and mind your Ps and Qs and the money will continue to come rolling in. There shouldn’t be anything, including a night of drinking, that’s worth losing the fame, fortune and free time. Obviously, the commissioner is not going to tolerate this type of law breaking, image smearing behavior from anyone in the league and he’s willing to make examples out of as many as it takes. You might as well chalk up Davis to the list of Pacman, Michael Vick, the entire Bengals team, and Tank Johnson as the early big losers of the Goodell era.

Links:

[CBS4.com]: Miami Dolphins Player Arrested on South Beach

Categories
Golf

Nissan turns Rich Beem’s automobile dry hump into an ad

Earlier in the year, when you saw Rich Beem sink a hole-in-one at the Nissan Open and jump on top of his shiny new car, the first thing you thought was: “This is gonna be a commercial.” Well, actually, you probably thought: “You idiot! Get off your new ride! You’re f’n it up!” Either way you would have been right because we just stumbled across this Nissan ad featuring Beem and the man/car lovefest that ensued immediately following his big shot.

Wouldn’t you love to see that kind of enthusiasm out of Tiger every once in a while? We know that the fist pump is his trademark and all, but it’s okay to let loose every now and then. After all, he’s got a lot to be happy about; is slobbering all over an inanimate object really too much to ask?

Links:

[The Golf Blog]: Nice shot, nice car

Categories
All Other Sports

The Ultimate Fighter 5 finale recap

The Ultimate Fighter 5 finally came to a head on Saturday night and the free event on Spike did a lot to put the excitement back in the UFC. After a disappointing Chuck Liddell/Quinton Jackson main event, followed up by a pair of decisions in the co-main events at UFC 72: Victory; The Ultimate Fighter finale was a night of much needed wild and unexpected endings.

In the main event, B.J. Penn finally got his revenge on Jens Pulver by slipping a deep choke on Lil’ Evil at the 3:12 mark of the second round. The smart money was on Penn coming into the fight and the Prodigy showed why he’s considered one of the best in the game as he dominated Pulver on the ground. And it doesn’t look like there’s going to be a heated third contest in this rivalry as the fellas seemed to have squashed their beef once and for all with hugs and kind words. Well, actually, Penn didn’t say anything to the crowd immediately after the fight other than directing everyone to his website, but Pulver couldn’t have been more humble in defeat.

In the championship match of TUF5, Nathan Diaz and Manvel Gamburyan had a great fight going, but when Gamburyan went for a takedown 20 seconds into the second round, he dislocated his shoulder and had to tap out. While it’s an unfortunate turn of events for Gamburyan and nobody wants to win by injury, the tap out crowed Diaz as the winner of the season and the six figure contract. But as anyone who follows The Ultimate Fighter fallout knows, it’s often the losers of the season who end up becoming UFC PPV fixtures (see Chris Leben).

But the fight of the night was between Rob Emerson and Gray Maynard. After a physical first round, Maynard picked up Emerson and delivered a wicked slam that caused Emerson to tap because of an injury to his ribs. And it’s a good thing for Maynard that Emerson tapped because during his throw of Emerson, he ended up falling on his own head and knocking himself out. You can enjoy it for the brutality, or you can enjoy it for the hilarity, but at least this card had something to enjoy. Maybe the UFC should consider limiting all their fighters to 155 pounds, because this has definitely been the most entertaining division of late.

Categories
All Other Sports

TNA slaps their weekly full nelson on the WWE



Damn, fat boy’s got the gold again!

There’s really no denying it anymore; TNA is consistently putting on a better show than the WWE. Vince McMahon and his, oh wait; The late Vince McMahon and his boys are struggling for good storylines while TNA pushes the envelope with new ideas. Now, we’re not saying that all of TNA’s ideas are spectacularly compelling, but they constantly provide fresh, new stories. And their talent pool is getting deeper and deeper by the week.

Why do you think the WWE is reaching so far into their bag of tricks of late? The three hours specials, the draft, the insane McMahon explosion that grabbed the mainstream media’s attention; it’s all an attempt to grab back some of the viewers who are starting to jump ship. After all, this is the most competition the WWE has encountered since the old Monday Night Wars.

Like we said, not all of TNA’s concepts are the best. One example is their latest craziness involving the tag champs (Team 3-D), the new X-Division champ (Black Machismo), and the new TNA champ Kurt Angle. There’s all sorts of things going on with this that we’re having a hard time following, but what we do know is that the tag champs will take on the other two champs in a match and anyone who gets pinned loses their belt to the pinner at the next PPV, Victory Road. Make sense? Yea, we didn’t think so.

All you need to know right now is that Samoa Joe pinned Chris Saban in a three-way match, which also included Black Machismo, for the X Division championship and advanced to the Match of Champions. Damn Black Machismo, we thought you could hold onto the belt longer than that. Now, we gotta wait until next week to see who else advances and becomes Joe’s partner because there will be another three-way match between Christian Cage, Rhyno and the champ Kurt Angle next Thursday. Considering the history between Joe and Angle, we wouldn’t be surprised to see TNA give Angle the match and put another twist on their rivalry.

But the real kick to the WWE’s balls came when Jeff Jarrett revealed the reason why he’s been mysteriously out of action recently. In a tear filled interview, the King of the Mountain broke character and revealed that he lost his wife to cancer. This really makes the “mock murder of Vince McMahon” plotline look even more ridiculous.

Categories
Soccer

Futbol has finally redeemed it’s self…slightly

Most of the time when we talk about soccer, we focus on the ugly, nasty side of the sport: the riots, the package biting, the other riots, the Beckham’s American invasion, the murders, the attempted murders. But, believe it or not, we’ve actually found something about soccer that we like; when hotties play it in teeny tiny skirts and stomach revealing tops.

We are so relieved to find out that soccer actually had some untapped potential hidden deep down inside. This is honestly the greatest spin put on a sport since the Lingerie Bowl.

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: Girls Playing Soccer In Short Skirts

Categories
MLB General

June 22 2007 MLB Power Rankings Roundup

It’s all about the Angels as Casey Kotchman leads them into the top spot in 3 out of the 6 sites we poll. If they can put together some wins in the next week, they will might sway the vote and take over first place by themselves. The Yankees also made some moves in a few polls but after being swept by the Rockies, expect them to fall a little next week.

Here are your MLB Power Rankings for this week:

Rank Sportscolumn ESPN FoxSports Sportsline USA Today TSN.ca
1 Angels Angels Red Sox Angels Red Sox Red Sox
2 Red Sox Padres Angels Red Sox Angels Angels
3 Indians Red Sox Padres Tigers Indians Padres
4 Tigers Tigers Indians Indians Padres Mets
5 Padres Indians Tigers Yankees Tigers Yankees
6 D’backs A’s A’s A’s Mets Tigers
7 Dodgers Dodgers Mets Padres Dodgers Dodgers
8 Mets Mariners Yankees Brewers D’backs Indians
9 A’s Mets Dodgers Dodgers A’s A’s
10 Braves Yankees D’backs D’backs Yankees Braves
11-30 more more more more more more

Categories
All Other Sports

Another pointless world record is safe until further notice


Well, we know that all you faithful readers were mesmerized by Thursday’s compelling story of Dean Karnazes‘ world record attempt of running over 153.76 miles in 24 hours on a treadmill located in Times Square. It is a gripping tale, we must admit. Unfortunately, it is a story with an unhappy ending.

Karnazes came up a little short in his attempt as he could only manage to run 148 miles by the end of the day. But, we’re going to give him some serious props for giving it a shot. Who we are not going to congratulate however is TheMilwaukeeChannel.com because they can’t even do basic math.

The man who tried to break the world record for most miles run on a treadmill in 24 hours missed his goal by a marathon.

Last time we checked, 153.76-148=5.76; not 26, which is the number of miles in a marathon. So, either their algebra is all screwy or they simply have no idea what a marathon is. Either way, they look stupid and worse, they’ve made our boy Karnazes look like a chump. This is Mr. Endurance we’re talking about. Show some respect and at least get your facts straight.

Links:

[TheMilwaukeeChannel.com]: Man Fails To Break Record For Miles Run On Treadmill

Categories
All Other Sports

Somehow we missed Pillow Fight 1 through 10

You know it’s an awfully slow sports day week around here when the Pillow Fight League starts looking interesting. Here’s the pitch: get a bunch of “athletic women 19-35! With Style! Stamina! The Eye of the Tiger! Commitment! Work well in a group!” and give em a pillow, some skimpy outfits, and watch dudes pour in. But after checking the profiles, they might need to do some better recruiting.

Pillow Fight 11 is taking place tomorrow in Toronto. Hopefully we’ll end up with some video like the one below on Youtube where there will be such gems as “it’s not about holding your pillow, it’s about using it!”

Categories
Seattle Seahawks

Rick Tuten don’t know nothing about nothing


Rick Tuten played for 12 years in the NFL. Granted, he was a punter but he still made a pretty decent living for a dozen years. But apparently it wasn’t enough — Tuten was arrested for selling stolen goods. Police started investigating Tuten when they realized that he was named by a lot of burglars as the guy who they sold stuff to so they set up a sting.


During a taped telephone conversation, a police informant told Tuten she had two stolen flat screen televisions valued at $1,500.

According to an affidavit, Tuten replied, “I don’t know nothing about nothing.” He then instructed the woman to deliver the items to his home. Tuten paid the woman $600 for the televisions and then asked her to deliver more.

How is it possible that OJ Simpson gets to play golf every day on his NFL pension but Rick Tuten has to sell stolen goods to make ends meet? We don’t get the NFLPA.

Links:
[AOL Sports]: Ex-Punter Arrested for Selling Stolen Goods

Categories
Boston Celtics

Paul Pierce disses a cinematic legend on video


If there is anything we learned about Mini Me Verne Troyer during the Surreal Life is that he hates being called Mini Me. Apparently, Paul Pierce isn’t a big fan of the show because he made the critical error of calling Mini Me Mini Me and then the little dude had to bow up to the guy who plays for the Celtics. Here’s a link to the TMZ exclusive. You’re gonna have to scroll down to find it, but take your time. We’ll be waiting.

Okay, you back? Good.

Our favorite part is when Mini Me starts hollering “What’s my name?!” to P.P. We know that Pierce is loaded, but things are pretty crappy when your team is going on 18-game losing skids and Mini Me is trying to put you check. Doesn’t the Celtic green intimidate anyone anymore? Well, the luck of the Irish could be swinging back in Boston’s favor if they can pull off a franchise defining mega trade for Kevin Garnett. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

Back to the video of Verne Mini Me; we’re not trying to discriminate against little people but we’d fell a hell of a lot safer if Mini Me stayed on his little scooter. After all, the guy is known to tie on a couple before going for a spin.