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General Sports

Kyle Petty gets visor-flippin’ mad at Denny Hamlin

We’ve been known to give an unfriendly gesture or two to our fellow motorists after being cut off or tailgated. So, we can only imagine how prickly we’d be if you ratcheted up the MPH to around 200. In fact, we’d probably act a lot like Kyle Petty did after Denny Hamlin smacked him from behind during Sunday’s race at Dover International Speedway.

While the two were always being restrained and we never got to see any real brawling, we did get a verbal back-n-forth between the two. Petty thinks Hamlin is too aggressive and Hamlin thinks Petty is a meanie. You know, the usual stuff.

It’s a shame that a guy with that much talent has to drive like that,” Petty said. “We’ve seen it a lot. We’ve seen it all year long. Even his teammate, Tony Stewart, talked about it. I think it pretty much speaks for itself.

And your counter Mr. Hamlin?

Don’t smack me on the helmet,” Hamlin said. “You smack me on the helmet and I’m going to punch you in the face, bottom line. So I’d like for him to call me some time this week.

“You don’t come to my car. You don’t come to my pit. You meet me somewhere else and we’ll settle it. I have the utmost respect for Kyle, but don’t lay your hands on my head.”

Petty also accused Hamlin of lacking focus after winning the Busch Series race on Saturday. Hamlin shot down that accusation, saying he has too much to worry about in his pursuit of a Nextel Cup title.

“The biggest thing is that I know Kyle gets run over a lot and a lot of the reason is that he’s so far off the pace,” Hamlin said. “We’re in a clutter of leaders and he’s racing his own little battle and some days it’s your day and some days it’s not. Get out of the way.

Yeah, Kyle; “it’s the fastest who get paid and it’s the fastest who get laid.” Shake and bake!

Links:

[WCNC.com]: It’s On! Angry Petty lays the smack down in garage on Hamlin

Categories
General Sports

When did the 40-year-old virgin become a news anchor?

This has absolutely nothing to do with sports, but there was no way we could hoard a clip of some local television baboon having foreplay with a digitized woman to ourselves.

All right `farting sports guy‘; you are no longer the most humiliated man in newsroom. We’re guessing if that clip went on for just a few more seconds he’d bust out with “Tune in Tokyo. Tune in Tokyo.”

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: During A Breast Milk Story A Local News Broadcaster……Umm, Just Watch The Video

Categories
General Sports

Can someone please send Miss South Carolina over to the Sports Action Team studio again?

We don’t know what the hell the Sports Action Team is, but we’ve spent enough drunken late nights in front of the TV to recognize that guy in the middle. Oh, what’s his name? He’s that hilariously creepy looking guy that hangs out with a perverted cursing dog…no, not K-Fed…not A-Rod…oh, yea, Conan O’Brien. That’s it!

Oh, we hate when people with garlicky odored hyperhydrosis shake our hands. Yuck!

Categories
General Sports

Beauty and the beast: Gisele joins Mark Cuban on Dancing with the Stars


On Monday, we told you about how Mark Cuban’s appearance on Dancing with the Stars was going to be a total disaster, but a disaster that we were going to be glued to the tube for. Well, now it looks like the show just got a whole lot sexier…and sportier.

Of course, we gotta deal with the sexy first. Tom Brady’s super boo Gisele Bundchen is also being mentioned as a possible contestant though ABC has yet to reveal the actual list. We love the choice if this is true; after all, there is no such thing as too much Bundchen. And with that dumbass Cubes trying to cut a rug every week, we’re going to need some eye candy to help us overcome.

While nothing can top the excitement of having Gisele come to prime time TV, there are a few more sporting icons that will soon be donning glitter and sequence as they cha-cha-cha. Indy champ Helio Castroneves, boxing great Floyd Merriweather Jr., and Mr. Mean and Green himself, Lou Ferrigno, will also be on the show.

Hopefully one season they change the scheduling of this show so that Chad Johnson can get into the mix now that the NFL is cracking down on the end zone celebrations. Until then we’ll be stuck with other dancers like these unconfirmed celebrities: Aaron Carter, Wayne Newton, Jane Seymour, Tori Spelling, Jennie Garth, Nia Peeples and Sabrina Bryan. See you on September 24 when Cuban gets schooled by a wax sculpture…oh, wait, that’s Wayne Newton.

Links:

[BostonHerald.com]: Gisele really does have the legs of a dancer

Categories
General Sports

The real beauty of live TV is that it can go so horribly wrong

We’ve all seen some pretty stupendous blunders while watching the sports segment of the news on the local affiliate. Sometimes the sports guy rips a fart and then uncontrollably laughs about his flatulence. Other times they just freeze up and stammer over every word. But then you’ve got those rare times when the blooper isn’t even the reporter’s fault. Of course, that doesn’t make it any less funny.

One note to all you aspiring TV talents out there: turn your mic off when you’re not on-air because we don’t want to ever hear Bob Sports Guy take a live microphone into the can.

Categories
General Sports

We’ve got more bloopers than you can shake a stick at

There’s nothing we love more than a good blooper reel, so we were totally stoked to come across this collection of classic clips coupled with some great footage we’d never seen before. So, kick back, relax and try to forget all about the drama of dogfighting, steroids, crooked refs and the other scandals that are encompassing the world of sports. All that crap will be waiting for you once the montage is over, but at least you’ll escape to a happy place for 3 minutes and 27 seconds of your day.

Categories
General Sports

We never realized just how much strategy goes into NASCAR

We’ve tried our hardest to get into the world of motor sports, but we just can’t get excited about watching cars go round and round for hours on end. That was until we saw this segment about NASCAR that was both enlightening and educational. Since then, we can’t get enough of the stuff. Coach Dan Amon, we thank you for your insight.


NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: ‘Drive Fast’

Keep turning left. Straight, straight! Go straight and go fast. Go fast and straight. Keep going fast. Straighter!”

Links:

[The Big Lead]: NASCAR Strategies, Courtesy of the Onion

Categories
General Sports

Greg Biffle hates dog killers, this means you Michael


Michael Vick is scheduled to appear in court on Thursday afternoon where he will enter a plea on the dogfighting charges against him. While most people are in total agreement that Vick is a lowlife and he should never play in the NFL again, the majority of athletes are keeping their mouths shut about the whole case. Well, except for Clinton Portis and we all know how swimmingly that went.

But the waiting for a sports figure to stand up and speak their mind is no more because NASCAR driver Greg Biffle has stepped up to the plate. Biffle is an animal rights advocate and he had no problem with forgetting the whole notion of “innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.” And we don’t blame him.

I just wish they’d put him in jail and be done with it.”

“Just put him in prison and tell the general public, just give them all the details of what they do with those dogs,” Biffle said. “How they steal people’s dogs out of their front yards and use them for bait dogs and let other dogs kill them. There’s all the horrifying stories. You look at all the pictures on the Internet of the dogs, just maimed, mangled. It’s horrible.

While Biffle wants the judge to throw the book at Vick for his dog murdering ways, he also admitted that the Falcons QB is not the only one involved with the illegal blood sport.

It goes on everywhere. He’s not the only guy. It goes on in this state too,” Biffle said. “Maybe they’ll use him as an example and maybe get some other people to think about whether they want to be in federal prison with him or not.

However, we would like to add that if they really want to make an example out of Vick, somewhere during sentencing there must be mention of a ferret and Vick’s groin.

Links:

[FoxSports.com]: Biffle says of Vick: `I just with they’d put him in jail.’

Categories
General Sports

July 25 2007 episode of Poor Man’s PTI

Welcome to another episode of Poor Man’s PTI.  

You can download this week’s podcast directly (running time 60 mins) or subscribe to the feed.  

If you use iTunes, just click here and then click subscribe and iTunes will take care of the rest.

This week’s topics include:

  • NBA ref scandal
  • Michael Vick
  • stalking ballplayers
  • British Open
  • Fantasy Football
  • Tour de France

Hope you guys enjoy the podcast.  If you did enjoy it, please give us a good rating below so we can rise up in the rankings. If you didn’t, send us an email ([email protected]) and give us some suggestions. Thanks for listening.

Categories
General Sports

Sports can be graceful, but we prefer the zany ridiculousness

Sports are the ultimate in unpredictability; about the only thing that is predictable about sports is that if you watch long enough, anything can happen. And it usually does. Whether it’s soccer, gymnastics, automobile racing, basketball, skateboarding, figure skating, skiing, karate, cricket or table tennis, you just never know what you’re gonna get.