Atlanta Falcons

Matt Ryan is rich bitch!

Most of the time, the NFL Draft is just a mirage because although franchises get to select their future cornerstones, getting them to sign a deal usually takes the better part of the offseason. You remember last year’s debacle between the Raiders and top pick JaMarcus Russell, right? Well, believe it or not, but the bumbling, stumbling Atlanta Falcons discovered the secret to getting players into camp quick: throw a boatload of money at them.

Matt Ryan signed a $72 million, six-year contract with the Atlanta Falcons on Tuesday, ending concerns that prolonged negotiations could threaten his chance to become the starting quarterback as a rookie.

Ryan, the No. 3 overall pick in last month’s draft out of Boston College, is guaranteed $34.75 million. His guaranteed money is $4.75 million more than that given to Jake Long, the No. 1 overall choice who also is represented by agent Tom Condon.

If you’re eyes are bulging out of your head over the sheer size of the check, don’t worry, you’re not alone. However, we gotta admit that we’re happy to see a team willingly hand over a titanic contract instead of the usual hostage-type negotiations that occur every year between players, agents and owners. Will he be worth it? Only time will tell, but we applaud all parties for taking care of business quickly so Ryan can focus on producing in his rookie year, meaning the chances of seeing more in-game vomiting out of the Boston College product are a distinct possibility. That should make Donovan McNabb feel a little less lonely in the puking department. Now, if we could just get Dorenzo Hudson drafted in the NBA.


[The Associated Press]: Falcons sign QB Matt Ryan to 6-year, $72M contract

Atlanta Falcons

PETA wishes Michael Vick a rape-filled holiday season and a happy new year

If you thought that Shaquille O’Neal was one to hold a grudge, just get a load of PETA. While these people will walk to the ends of the earth for an abused llama, they got no problem trying to humiliate and disgrace anyone who dares anger them. But at least it is in the name of Christmas spirit.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has created a holiday e-card featuring former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, who is serving a 23-month federal sentence for a dogfighting conspiracy.

In the card, a cartoon version of Vick paces across a prison yard inside a snow globe as gun-toting guards and their barking dogs keep watch. He’s wearing an orange prison jumpsuit and football helmet and dragging a ball and chain.

When a visitor to PETA’s Web site shakes the snow globe by dragging a mouse, Vick bounces around and crashes against the globe’s dome as a commentator announces, “They got to the quarterback’s blind side there. He never had a chance.”

“We’re having a bit of fun, but prison is no lark and we’re hoping that Michael will use his time behind bars this holiday season to think about goodwill and peace for all,” PETA assistant director Dan Shannon said in a statement Tuesday.

Uh-huh Dan, we’re sure that’s exactly what you’re hoping for Mike.

In addition to Vick, PETA made cards for all the people on their naughty list this year, including “Cold-Blooded Colonel Sanders”, “Hairy-Kate and Trashley: the Olson Twins”, “Pelt Pusher Anna Wintour”, “Fur Hag Kate Moss” and “Hunter Dick Cheney.”

What? No “Why Didn’t You Die Roy Horn” Christmas card?


[MSNBC]: PETA creates holiday e-card featuring Vick

College Football

Bobby Petrino appreciates the Falcons hard work. Geez, thanks.

As if slipping out the back door just a day after coaching the Falcons in a Monday Night Football contest wasn’t pathetic enough for Bobby Petrino, the new Arkansas Razorbacks coach doesn’t even have the guts to talk to his old team like a man. Instead of facing his former squad to explain his sudden change of heart, possibly for fear of having snarling pit bulls released on him, Petrino decided to let his fingers do the talking and wrote his ex-players a letter that was posted in the locker room on Wednesday.

Atlanta Falcons players;

Out of my respect for you, I am letting you know, with a heavy heart, I resigned today as the Head Coach of the Atlanta Falcons. This decision was not easy but was made in the best interest of me and my family. While my desire would have been to finish out what has been a difficult season for us all, circumstances did not allow me to do so. I appreciate your hard work and wish the best.


Bobby Petrino”

The letter was hand signed.

Now that’s classy. Arkansas should be proud to have such a stand up guy leading their charge to the top of the SEC.

Unfortunately, while Michael Vick can be put in the slammer for his stupidity and cowardly behavior, Petrino gets a sweet office and a plump paycheck. Personally, we don’t know how the guy is going to live with himself after this act of gutless betrayal and his half-hearted, callous and insulting attempt at an apology. Guess he’ll be spending a lot of time with fellow Judas and notable NFL back stabber, conference colleague Nick Saban.


[]: Petrino wrote farewell letter to team

College Football

Falcons get the shaft from Bobby Petrino

The big news today revolves around Bobby Petrino’s controversial, middle of the night, bolt from Atlanta to Arkansas. While we could talk about just how embarrassing it is for the coach to stab his former team in the back before the season even concluded, it is so much easier to let Petrino’s press conference pig call do the humiliating for us.

Oh, and coach, don’t let DeAngelo Hall see you doing that on the street. He’s not a big fan of yours at the moment.

C’mon, DeAngelo; it’s nothing personal. His heart just wasn’t in the pros. If you’re going to criticize him for anything it should be because he simply loves the college kids too much. The fact that Atlanta is currently swirling around the NFL toilet bowl with a 3-10 record while constantly living out the Michael Vick saga on a day-to-day basis had absolutely nothing to do with the jump.

General Sports

Greg Biffle hates dog killers, this means you Michael

Michael Vick is scheduled to appear in court on Thursday afternoon where he will enter a plea on the dogfighting charges against him. While most people are in total agreement that Vick is a lowlife and he should never play in the NFL again, the majority of athletes are keeping their mouths shut about the whole case. Well, except for Clinton Portis and we all know how swimmingly that went.

But the waiting for a sports figure to stand up and speak their mind is no more because NASCAR driver Greg Biffle has stepped up to the plate. Biffle is an animal rights advocate and he had no problem with forgetting the whole notion of “innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.” And we don’t blame him.

I just wish they’d put him in jail and be done with it.”

“Just put him in prison and tell the general public, just give them all the details of what they do with those dogs,” Biffle said. “How they steal people’s dogs out of their front yards and use them for bait dogs and let other dogs kill them. There’s all the horrifying stories. You look at all the pictures on the Internet of the dogs, just maimed, mangled. It’s horrible.

While Biffle wants the judge to throw the book at Vick for his dog murdering ways, he also admitted that the Falcons QB is not the only one involved with the illegal blood sport.

It goes on everywhere. He’s not the only guy. It goes on in this state too,” Biffle said. “Maybe they’ll use him as an example and maybe get some other people to think about whether they want to be in federal prison with him or not.

However, we would like to add that if they really want to make an example out of Vick, somewhere during sentencing there must be mention of a ferret and Vick’s groin.


[]: Biffle says of Vick: `I just with they’d put him in jail.’

Atlanta Falcons

Michael Vick has murdered a lot more than a city’s Super Bowl dreams

Michael Vick was indicted Tuesday on some pretty nasty charges of competitive dogfighting, procuring and training pit bulls for fighting and conducting the enterprise across state lines. Vick and three of his associates could be facing six years in the slammer and $350,000 in fines if they are found guilty.

As if dog fighting wasn’t already bad enough as a general practice, we learned a little bit more about Vick’s sick rehabilitation plans for the pups at “Bad Newz Kennels.” Turns out that fighting might not even be the worst or most dangerous part for some of these dogs because it is reported that around eight dogs were killed in April in some very inhumane ways, namely by hanging, drowning, electrocuting, shooting or simply “slamming at least one dog’s body to the ground.” Call us crazy, but we don’t think that is the kind of hand’s on relationship the jury is going to want to see out of Vick the kennel owner.

Needless to say, the NFL was not too pleased with the latest development surrounding the man who at one time was considered the future of the league.

We are disappointed that Michael Vick has put himself in a position where a federal grand jury has returned an indictment against him,” NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy said.

“The activities alleged are cruel, degrading and illegal. Michael Vick’s guilt has not yet been proven, and we believe that all concerned should allow the legal process to determine the facts.

Even John Goodwin of the Humane Society was taken back by the horrific methods that Vick used to kill the dogs, saying that “Some of the grisly details in these filings shocked even me, and I’m a person who faces this stuff every day.” Everyone knew that Michael Vick had to be a pretty cold person to involve himself in the blood sport to begin with, but now it’s starting to look like he’s simply a truly psychotic, uncaring murderer. And what do we do with psychotic, uncaring murderers? We ferret leg those bastards and then we throw `em in prison. Duh.


[]: Vick indicted in dogfight case

Atlanta Falcons

Bad Moon is now Bankrupt

Andre Rison played football for 11 years in the NFL but somehow still managed to go bankrupt. He owes $58,000 in child support to his ex-wife and another $46,000 in child support two of his baby’s momma so he faces a court-ordered bankruptcy. He probably would have a little more money if all his stuff hadn’t been burned to a crisp by Left Eye.

In 2005, Rison actually spent a month in the DeKalb County Jail in Georgia for failure to pay $127,000 in child support. He paid $10,000 and was released. Now considering that OJ Simpson is still traveling around and playing golf every day after killing two people (do we really need to be bothered with saying stuff like “accused of killing” anymore?), Rison probably still has a boatload of money left that can’t be touched by the courts. And if he doesn’t, then he’s a bigger idiot than we thought.

Here’s a random factoid about Rison: he once told the police his name was Brock Middlebrook after being cited at a bar fight in Kansas City.

[Sportsline]: No kidding: Rison ordered into bankruptcy to pay child support

Atlanta Falcons

Michael Vick’s cousin trying his best to take one for the team

Davon Boddie, Michael Vick’s cousin and the man who ran the house where alleged dog-fighting took place, knows exactly where the gravy train is.

I want him (Goodell) to know that everything going on is really my fault. I want to apologize to Atlanta Falcons fans for what’s going on. It’s a lot of drama.

They’re just making Michael look like something he’s not. Michael is the type of dude who would do his sit-ups and crunches every night, read his Bible and go to bed.

Come on Davon, let’s not go overboard here. Vick does sit-ups, crunches, reads the Bible and goes to bed? You’re seriously trying to tell us this is a typical night for Ron Mexico? The only way this could have been a more obvious lie is if he claimed Vick also studied game film of opposing defenses before being tucked in.

Do you think the whole ‘reads his Bible’ thing was written by Vick’s publicist or Boddie’s lawyer?

[AJC]: Vick’s cousin says it’s “my fault”

Atlanta Falcons

Michael Vick dog fighting update

Things are not looking up after the memorial day weekend for Michael Vick. ESPN’s Outside the Lines found an informant that basically put Vick as the big whale of dog fighting. Now, we must remind you that informants often lie for their own reasons and that ESPN sucks, but nevertheless, here’s what the source had to say about Michael Vick’s involvement in the dog fighting community:

He’s a pit bull fighter. He’s one of the ones that they call ‘the big boys’: that’s who bets a large dollar. And they have the money to bet large money. As I’m talking about large money — $30,000 to $40,000 — even higher. He’s one of the heavyweights.

The source went on to tell the story of how one of his dogs faced off with one of Vick’s dogs while Vick was in attendance and betting a ton of money on his own dog. Now, as we said earlier, we always question these ‘sit behind a screen with a disguised voice’ types but this guy is completely twisted and might want to out Vick because he thinks it’ll actually help make dog fighting more mainstream.

They shouldn’t be really upset, OK? Because it’s only just an animal. It’s just a dog that is raised up. He’s put out there, you know, and he’s chained up, OK. And the time he gets a certain age, this dog is going to want to fight. It is bred in him, OK? He knows what he is and he’s going to fight. Just take him off the leash, let him go.

Is there anyone with a sense of justice that doesn’t think this guy should be set loose in a cage full of angry dogs? Or perhaps get ferret legged? We’ll keep you updated on this story but it looks more and more like Michael Vick will disgrace himself and the league. The question is, is Vick enough of a star so that the league covers up this scandal?

Oh by the way, ESPN wants to relay their absolute horror regarding dog fighting by posting a video of dog fighting. Of course.


[ESPN]: Source: Vick ‘one of the heavyweights’ in dog fighting

Atlanta Falcons

Michael Vick hopes there’s no game tape

Yahoo! Sports seems to be trying to make themselves into an investigative journalism site; remember their pounding the whole Reggie Bush housing scandal into the ground? Well now they’ve set their sights on the Vick dog-fighting case.

In an exclusive, they are reporting that Kathy Strouse, Animal Control coordinator for Chesapeake in Virginia, is claiming that a reliable source informs her that there are tapes out there that tie Michael Vick directly to dog-fighting. Now, we hate Vick as much as the next guy but this evidence seems a little suspicious:

We don’t know where (the tapes) are or if they do indeed exist, but I have been told that they are out there,” said Strouse, who is also affiliated with two other organizations involved in the welfare of animals. “Without knowing where they are, there’s no possibility of getting a search warrant at this point.

So based on this statement which says nothing, Yahoo runs a headline “Videos might show Michael Vick watching dog fights.” Yeah, that’s not irresponsible at all. Oh and there are certain individuals who have identified Vick on the property during matches… but they are reluctant to testify. Well, this certainly seems like a solid case. Great job, Strouse and Yahoo.

[Yahoo]: Videotapes sought of Vick watching dog fights