Who said that Tony Kornheiser and Jaws would never have any chemistry?
C’mon, it was the Niners and the Hawks; you didn’t expect us to be paying attention to the game, did ya?
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[Awful Announcing]: Um Guys, You’re Arguing About The Same Exact Thing
We’ve been dying to get this footage to you since we watched it last Thursday on Inside the NBA, but, unfortunately, we had to wait until sportsrapp did all the hard work. If you can make it through another Frank TV promo then there’s some really funny stuff in store for ya. Make special note of the Chuckster’s reaction to Frank Caliendo’s impersonation of him.
Everyone keeps talking about the Charles Barkley imitation, and we do admit that it’s dead on, but we were blown away by the loquacious manner in which Caliendo personified the rare and enchanting qualities of a man whose journeys took him from small town La Mesa, California, all the way to a glorified hardwood pedestal which was chiseled of the finest marble from the rural lands of Egypt offered unto their gods of sound and fury. It was a trip befitting a young, muy alto, red headed, lost wanderer traversing across the boggy, rodent-laden marshes…
Remember when Lloyd and Harry started eating peppers in Dumb and Dumber? Well, Rob Stone would have given anything for some squeeze bottles of mustard and ketchup after he downed the hottest pepper in the world.
Geez, man; what are you? Some sorta idiot? The pepper dude said it had a million Scoville heat units. Wait; don’t tell us you’re not familiar with the Scoville scale of heat transfer. What a dweeb.
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[Awful Announcing]: Don’t Do It Stoner, Oh God He’s Doing It!
We know that the MLB season is over and the Red Sox are atop the baseball world again, but that doesn’t mean that Yankees fans aren’t still bitter.
Wow, as outsiders to the whole New York/Boston thing; we gotta admit, after seeing that father disown his ‘Sox son’ for Sonjaya’s Caucasian brother, we finally see how powerful this rivalry really is!
So, what do you get when you cross a touchdown hungry, rumbling, stumbling, 6-foot-4-inch, 340 pound defensive tackle and a 5-foot-11-inch, 207 pound running back turned wannabe tackler? Well, you get yourself a spatula and peel Selvin Young’s carcass off the turf.
If you were watching the game last night between Virginia Tech and Georgia Tech then you probably noticed something a little strange. No, we’re not talking about how Georgia Tech was virtually handing the ball to Hokies players when on offense. No, we’re talking about the sweet improve skills that VT displayed after the jerseys of Kam Chancellor, Brandon Flowers, Sean Glennon and Tyrod Taylor went missing.
By the start of the second quarter, at least some of the missing jerseys had re-emerged because Chancellor and Flowers had switched back to their regular jerseys. Glennon and Taylor were still in Georgia Tech jerseys at the start of the third quarter.
The players’ names were written on the backs of the jerseys in black marker. Black tape was used to block out all indications of Georgia Tech on the jerseys. The Virginia Tech jerseys for each player allegedly turned up before the game, but each player still wore the Georgia Tech jerseys in the first half.
After Virginia Tech arrived Thursday afternoon at Bobby Dodd Stadium, members of the Hokies’ equipment staff discovered the four players’ jerseys were missing. There was no evidence of a break-in in Virginia Tech’s locker room.
Wait, wait; did you guys go lame on Halloween and dish out pennies or hard candy. This sounds like retaliation to us.
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[Dailypress.com]: Missing jerseys? Hokies improvise.
[NBC11.com]: Va. Tech Jerseys Mysteriously Disappear
Please tell us that you have vivid memories of the instant NES classic Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!. You know: Glass Joe, Great Tiger, Soda Popinski, Don Flamenco. C’mon, please tell us that we weren’t the only ones who spent hours on end socking King Hippo in his fat gut. Oh, well; if you’ve played the game then you’ll recognize our good friend Mr. Dream Mike and if you’ve never rocked the controller to this 8-biter then hit the pawn shop already for crying out loud.
Game Over, Little Mac.
You know those stupid banners that high school teams go ripping through before games? Well, they’re dangerous. Actually, it’s not the banners that are dangerous, it’s the players running through `em.
We love how the station goes with the informative yet humiliating approach to this piece.
Happy Homecoming Homecoming Princess!
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[Awful Announcing]: Wait Guys! There’s Something Wrong With The Banner …….. Oh No…..
We know that Emmitt Smith has 18,355 career rushing yards and 175 total touchdowns. And we know that he can do the salsa, the tango and probably even the Macarena. But those don’t involve the forming of coherent sentences.
We never thought anyone could make Stu Scott look appealing, but congrats E, you’ve made history again.
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[Awful Announcing]: Emmitt Smith’s Analogies Need Some Work
We had absolutely no desire to watch the Dolphins and Giants game from London on Sunday. But then it hit us like a ton of bricks: streakers! And sure enough, what did we miss out on? Yup, a guy with a football over his pylon living it up at right there on the center of the pitch, er, field.
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[Our Book of Scrap]: Tom Brady Also Threw This Guy A Touchdown Pass Yesterday
