NFL General

Odds and Ends: NFL Countdown says sayonara to Emmitt Smith

If you love language-butchering and verbal buffoonery then this is going to be tough for you to take. Emmitt Smith has been released by ESPN, kinda.

It’s official. Emmitt Smith will not be part of ESPN’s two-hour pregame show, NFL Countdown, in 2008.

ESPN is expected to make the formal announcement soon.

Emmitt will be replaced by Cris Carter, whose enhanced visibility could help his chances of getting into the Hall of Fame on the second try. (Then again, if Carter does a bad job or comes off as a blowhard, it could hurt him.)

Emmitt will remain on Monday Night Countdown, and he’ll have a role on the Sunday morning pre-Countdown version of SportsCenter.

We know, we know; it’s difficult to confront. We loved listening to Emmitt slaughter the simplest of sentences just like everyone else. Don’t forget though, he’s not gone; he’s just on two hours less each week. Anyways, utterances like these will live on forever.

In other news…

[]: Guess which golfer got rid of his man boobs?

[The Undrafted Free Agent]: Mountaineer basketball players love their alcohol

[Bugs & Cranks]: Yup, William Hung is still a horrible singer

[By the Numbers]: Vote no on a tournament in college football. Wait, what???

[]: Ocho Cinco, Too Tall, Crazy Legs, Bad Moon, Gravedigger and many, many more of your favorite NFL nicknames

[]: Finally, a reason besides Erin Andrews to love the University of Florida

[Rush the Court]: NBA draft picks by school (1949-2008)

[]: “Oh, monsieur!! The boys took a beating on that one.”

[]: Colt Brennan is a system quarterback and a blogger

[The Big Picture]: “Booze + Ambien + bad judgment + flight attendants = one year of jail time and a $4,000 fine”

[The Love of Sports]: Yogi Berra gets robbed, winds up with only one of the Top 20 Baseball Quotes of All Time

[]: Finally, a site devoted entirely to sideline hotties

[]: If the Rays win the World Series, we want a large with pepperoni and jalapenos

[Hollyscoop]: Freddie Prinze Jr. joins the WWE and becomes The Masked Blogger

[Tirico Suave]: Can it get any better than babes telling us about fantasy football? Uh, no

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: `Just make it look like an accident’

[The World of Isaac]: Hallelujah, we can finally forget about Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon

And finally, hey, where’d you find that guy? We’ve been looking for a little person friend who’s willing to kick himself in the head with steel toe boots too!!

NFL General

Emmitt Smith sheds light on why Barry Sanders walked away

Most of the time, when we come across Emmitt Smith, we’re expecting to hear something that resembles gibberish more than analysis. But if there’s anything ol’ Emmitt should know, it’s running backs. So, when he responded to the question of why he believed Barry Sanders stepped away from the game, he actually made sense for the first time since becoming a member of the media.

I have had that conversation with Barry and Barry basically shared with me that he had had enough of football, No. 1, and possibly enough of dealing with the situation that he had to deal with up there in Detroit, being the go-to guy the whole time and not having the support, or what is perceived as a complete support staff around him like I had.

Obviously I had a great quarterback with Troy Aikman and I had Michael Irvin and and Jay Novacek and so forth. But when you looked at the Detroit Lions, and as I look at it and evaluate what Barry Sanders meant to that organization, he meant everything in the entire world to that organization. And for him not to have had a championship run is kind of disappointing and I think a person can only go through that for so long before they get enough.

And as you get older, football starts to wear on you. It wears on your mind mentally as well as beating your body up physically. And so if the organization doesn’t look like it is headed in the direction you want it to go in, it can definitely weigh on you heavily.


[]: Emmitt Smith: Why Barry Sanders retired from Lions

NFL General

Emmitt Smith said what?!?

We don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Emmitt Smith doesn’t exactly have a silver tongue. The all-time leading rusher in NFL history might have been smooth on the field, but on the microphone he is about as clumsy as a sorority girl after a Friday night out boozing. He screws up grammar, stumbles over words, makes up whole new words and often times makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. But, hey, if nothing else, he’s still better than Boomer. Here’s a collection of some of Emmitt’s most perplexing statements over the past year.

The Packers don’t has a running game.”

“That offense does… do look good.”

“I’m concerned about a guy who fall down before get hits.”

“Wes Worker is a possession receiver that make things happen.”

(Attempting to quote Jimmy V) “Don’t quit. Don’t ever quit.”

“The leadership definitely have to come from the leaders.”

“And then he come back and throw another pass and he drop it.”

“Not only does he have the NFC East record for touchdowns, but also the team record.”

“Eli Manning has been given the rice of passage.”

“Why doesn’t… don’t the defensive players put their hands on Randy Moss? Don’t back back.”

“Don’t worry about the game you just won or the team that we just blew out… uhhh… blown… blown out… Let’s think about what we need to do going forward, and they had… blown out.”

“This will get you completely blowed out.”

“You cannot change the stripes of a leopard.”

“That can be a swing their way eventually. I just hate to be the team that they winned it against.

Ah, no wonder Sean Salisbury split.


[]: The Emmitt Smith Anthology

NFL General

Is Jimmy Kimmel writing Emmitt Smith’s material?

We know that Emmitt Smith has 18,355 career rushing yards and 175 total touchdowns. And we know that he can do the salsa, the tango and probably even the Macarena. But those don’t involve the forming of coherent sentences.

We never thought anyone could make Stu Scott look appealing, but congrats E, you’ve made history again.


[Awful Announcing]: Emmitt Smith’s Analogies Need Some Work