Tag: funny

Categories
General Sports

Joe Buck makes the Miracle on Ice seem ho-hum

Even though the World Series is over and done, you’ve probably still have the silky smooth voice of Joe Buck running through your head. Well, if you just can’t get enough of his impassioned calls then we’ve got the perfect treat for you. It’s Bucky making some of the biggest calls in sports history.

“And President Kennedy is outta there.”

Over 40 years later and that still seems a little too soon. Oh, well; Slam-A-Lama-Ding-Dong! It’s still a homer.

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: Joe Buck Is A Really Good Sports Television Announcer

Categories
San Antonio Spurs

Brent Barry is really, really excited about getting his second ring


We know that it is hard to look forward to the NBA season when the pigskin is still flying, but the drama of professional hoops gets underway on Tuesday whether you watch it or not. However, before the refs can toss up the opening jump ball, there’s one small piece of business that has to be taken care of first. David Stern has some hardware to hand out.

But Stern might want to be careful whenever it comes time to give Brent `Bones’ Barry his ring. After all, when the Spurs got their 2005 rings from the commish, it was Barry that planted a big ol’ smooch on Stern.

Last time I got in a little bit of trouble for kissing him. I said something like him tasting flakey. It was like kissing my grandma. I don’t know if he took too kindly to that, but we had some fun,” Barry told SpursZONE.com. “You only get that moment if you’re lucky – I mean you only get that moment once. Since I have it twice – I don’t know. Maybe I’ll look for some tongue.

If a French kiss is what happens after two rings, we’d hate to be Stern should San Antonio go for a repeat. Hmmm, maybe his refs can help him prevent that situation from occurring. Ah, never mind; that would imply the NBA is crooked and we all know better than that.

Links:

[WOAI.com]: Will Brent Barry Kiss the NBA Commissioner?

Categories
Miami Dolphins

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! JASON TAYLOR IS ON THE LOOSE!!!!

It’s “Big JT”; what else can we say.

Okay, just so we’re clear; you did all of this for the Dolphins and Giants?

Categories
General Sports

Leave it to Dave to get the real Joe Torre scoop

You can read all the newspapers you want and listen to all the interviews and press conferences you can find, but we say “forgetaboutit!” We got David Letterman filling our brains with all the latest MLB 4-1-1, and he can tell us more in 10 sentences than the dill holes on FOX Sports can muffle out in a week.

And when Yogi Berra tells someone “It’s over” then Yogi Berra told someone “It’s over.”

Links:

[High and Tight]: Top Ten Reasons Torre Quit

Categories
College Football

Kirk Herbstreit accidentally walked into Michael Irvin’s dressing room

The commercials from the College Gameday (“built by the Home Depot”) crew keep getting better and better and this one is no exception.

That one had us chuckling pretty good, but, sorry guys, the award for `funniest analyst in a self-belittling commercial’ still resides in Scott Van Pelt’s coal-crushing grip.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Kirk Herbstreit, Straight Pimpin

Categories
LA Clippers

Sam’s cool on the outside, but he’s ready to go Alien on this dork

We always knew that it would be some nerdy white guy who’d go up to Sam Cassell and bust out the “E.T. vs. Gollum” question, but we just always hoped that it would be E.J. who `cowboyed up.’ Did we really just say that?

Listen kid, we’re no John Stossels or Geraldo Riveras (although we love the sweet `staches), but it might be good to extend your research beyond Wikipedia entries.

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: Sam Cassell Asked Whether He Looks Like An Alien Or Golum

Categories
Colorado Rockies

Hey, Red Sox fans, how do you feel about your opponents in the Series?


If there’s anything we’ve learned from our years of watching sports, it’s that it doesn’t really matter how hard you root for your team. What’s really important is how hard you root against the other guys.

So, before all you Red Sox fans start loading up on AL Champions t-shirts, you might want to divert some of those funds into your anti-Rockies gear. Jerseys, ringers, tank tops, tees, caps, coffee mugs: if you really want to cheer your boys to a ring then this is what you need. It’s simple, straight to the point and it sums up the feelings of an entire population.

You know, we thought that this was a pretty innovative idea until we started surfing around the site and realized that there’s a friggin’ t-shirt with every slogan imaginable. So, for all you Rockies fans out there, take solace in knowing that are plenty of shirts that bash the Sox in every way imaginable. Some of our favorites:

Buck Foston

Curse? You just sucked for 86 years.

And…

I would rather my sister be a prostitute then for her to be a RED SOX fan

Links:

[SawxBlog]: Get Your Rockies Suck T-Shirts Just in Time for the 2007 World Series!

Categories
Utah Jazz

The Jazz are committed to going strong in the lane, regardless of who’s in the way

You might think that NBA cheerleaders are just hot bodies gyrating in tight spandex outfits, but you’d be wrong. It takes a whole lot more than just a pretty face to make in the pros. These chicks are tough. Well, at least this Jazz cheerleader can take a wallop.

Wow, the last time we saw a member of the Jazz involved in a collision like that was when Karl Malone tried to decapitate Isiah Thomas in the early 90s.

Categories
All Other Sports

Tennis players might look comfortable, but there’s a whole lotta itchin’ going on

You know how it is to be sitting around watching TV and eating microwave dinners when something just doesn’t feel right. You’re just not comfortable. You know what it is, it’s that damn underwear. So, what do you do? Well, you drop trou and finish off that Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes in comfort, of course. And now, tennis players are fighting for their right to go commando.

Yeah, we know, it’s pretty strange behavior, but it’s nothing compared to some of the stupid things that golfers do.

Categories
College Football

Maybe `For Sale’ signs are tokens of affection in Tallahassee


Most of you probably didn’t even realize that Miami played Florida State this weekend. We can’t blame you; who wants to watch a rivalry match between a pair irrelevant, mediocre teams when the SEC is handing out early Halloween goodies like South Carolina/Vandy, Florida/Kentucky and LSU/Auburn. Well, even if a majority of the nation was unaware of the match-up, that’s doesn’t mean the Seminoles’ 37-29 loss went unnoticed.

After a tough night at the office and a near sleepless night at home, Florida State coach Bobby Bowden couldn’t help but notice the large “For Sale” sign on his lawn as he backed out of the driveway Sunday.

The big, bright red sign was mighty hard to miss sitting on the Bowden’s carefully manicured lush green lawn at one of the most prominent addresses in the capital city.

“It ain’t there now,” chuckled Bowden, who removed the sign. “I ain’t selling. I’ll save it for when I get ready to move.”

A prankster had placed the sign on the Bowden yard in the overnight darkness after archrival Miami defeated the Seminoles 37-29 with 13 points in the final 1:15.

Bowden said it reminded him of his days in West Virginia in the 1970s when he was once hung in effigy as well after a loss.

Don’t you people remember all the good times good ol’ Bobby made possible? Sure, he’s hit a bit of a rough patch recently, but throwing down a “For Sale” sign into his yard in the middle of the night is pretty cold. It’s not hanging him in effigy cold, but it’s still pretty frigid. It’s definitely on par with the cheap shot Glenn Dorsey got blindsided by.

Links:

[SportingNews.com]: Prankster puts `For Sale’ sign on Bowden’s lawn