We’re glad that there is still some fun and laughter left in bowling. After the infamous underground pug bowling scandal videos surfaced in April of `06, we weren’t sure if a game of Ten Pin would ever make us smile again.
Tag: funny
As much as we love sports, we really can’t stand soccer. There is just absolutely nothing appealing to us about the sport. Sure, the rest of the free world can’t get enough of the stuff, but we really don’t care if we never see one more second of soccer footage for the rest of our lives. In fact, if we do see another soccer highlight then we’re going to have to…wait, what? Soccer guys getting kicked in the nads? Roll it!
We stand corrected; this sport isn’t so bad after all.
We told you about the unbelievable dangers subtly hidden within the childhood game of tug-of-war. Despite the fact that it’s played in school gymnasiums across this great nation of ours, nobody would ever expect their hands to get sliced off from participating. Well, dodgeball is another seemingly ordinary game in which people assume that the worst thing that can happen is a nerdy little kid gets whacked in the face causing his glasses to break and sending the room into hysterics. Well, that is the worst thing that can happen…for the nerdy little kid. We think it’s pretty darn funny.
Hey kid; they’re not checking on you, they’re hoping you’re bleeding.
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[Our Book of Scrap]: Dodgeball Is A Great Character Builder
Remember the other day when we told you about the newest addition to the ultra exclusive Real Men of Genius club? No, not Mr. Overweight Model Molester and Verbal Abuser Point Guard Guy. We’re talking about Mr. Delusional, Irrational, Hopelessly Pathetic Notre Dame Football Fan. Well, move over Mr. Really Stinky Breath Breather Outer because there’s a new member of the guild. And try not to breath in his direction.
Does anybody else’s Gus Light taste a little Nutty?
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[The Wizard of Odds]: Houston Nutt, a Real Man of Genius
We’re not even into the NBA season yet and we’ve already heard a variety of stories involving Kobe Bryant.
First, Jerry Buss opened his big, fat mouth after a lot of the summer frenzy died down and told reporters that he “would certainly listen” to any trade offers made for Bryant. Then some crazy LA news outlets started yapping about how Kobe had already cleaned out his locker. Now, we get to actually hear from the Mamba on the situation and we’re more confused than ever about this whole mess.
I don’t know, talk to Mitch and Mr. Buss about that,” Bryant replied when asked if he had played his final game for the Lakers, referring to general manager Mitch Kupchak and the team’s owner. “I’m just getting ready. If I’m here, I’m ready to strap it up.”
My job is to play the game and get ready to play the game,” he said Tuesday. “That’s what I’m doing. I guess people are just intrigued by what’s going on around here. I understand that. I have a job to do. One thing I said at training camp was that I didn’t want this to be a distraction.”
When asked whether he was unsettled by recent events, Bryant said: “It’s our understanding not to bring up the situation and not talk about it. We just wanted to keep things quiet and go about our business. It kind of caught me off guard a little bit.
“We’ve just got to get back to basics and get ready and go from there. It’s my job to play basketball. It’s not my job to worry about what management is doing or this, that or the other thing. I’m going to be ready and let them do their jobs.
Bryant has been sitting out the last couple of practices which is apparently what has all the rumors flowing, but this is getting ridiculous. When Kobe wants out, the Lakers want him to stay. Then the Lakers start talking trade and Kobe wants to play. Geez, we haven’t seen this much contrast in one place since Charlie gave life to Night Man and Day Man.
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[MSNBC.com]: Kobe sits out again, denies cleaning out locker
If you know anything about anything then you know all about the Real Men of Genius. Let’s see, there’s Mr. Driving Range Ball Picker Upper, Mr. Pro Wrestling Wardrobe Designer, Mr. Outside the Stadium Peanut Seller, Mr. Hawaiian Shirt Pattern Designer and Mr. Really, Really Tight Jean Wearer. Then you’ve got Mr. Bathroom Stall Dirty Joke Writer, Mr. New Shoe Tissue Paper Stuffer, Mr. Basketball Court Sweat Wiper Upper, Mr. Way-Too-Proud-Of-Texas Guy and Mr. Professional Sports Leg Cramp Rubber Outer.
Well, right between Mr. Refuses To Turn On His Air Conditioning Guy and Mr. Rolling Cooler Cooler Roller sits the newest addition to the Real Men of Genius family: Mr. Delusional, Irrational, Hopelessly Pathetic Notre Dame Football Fan.
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[TrojanWire.com]: Today We Salute You, Mr. Delusional, Irrational, Notre Dame Football Fan
Remember when Cubes was dishing out Blizzards and Belt Busters at Dairy Queen? Well, it’s deja vu all over again; only this time we’re talking Roy Williams and pizzas.
Not too long ago we told you how the Lions’ Williams was so cheap that instead of installing a fire alarm he just hangs Jiffy Pop from the ceiling. He even admitted that he doesn’t tip the pizza guy when he orders a pie.
Well, turns out that Roy’s a pretty good sport because after Pizza Hut got wind of his comments they offered him a temporary position as a delivery driver and he accepted. Brilliant!
Williams is making a personal donation to the World Food Program, including all of his tips.
Pizza Hut offered the olive branch after Williams admitted in an interview that he typically doesn’t tip pizza deliverers.
The exact location of the Pizza Hut serving as Williams’ headquarters will be announced tomorrow.
Now if we could just get Roy to spring for something a little fancier than an all-you-can-eat buffet when he takes the ladies out for a first date. Even the contestants on Blind Date think that’s tacky.
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[Freep.com]: Lions’ Roy Williams begins second job tomorrow: Pizza delivery guy
The College GameDay crew made their way to Norman on Saturday to take in the Oklahoma/Missouri game first hand. Needless to say, the signs were aplenty and not all of `em were all that nice.
Considering that GameDay comes to our living rooms live every Saturday morning, ESPN has to be careful to monitor the sea of poster board behind the set to make sure that nothing too wild goes beaming out to the throngs. Thanks to Blake Jackson of NewsOK.com, we now have a better idea of exactly what we can and can’t get away with.
Apparently, when you’re in Oklahoma, life-size cutout of Bob Stoops and Sherri Coale are cool. So are the multitudes of “We (heart) Herbie” signs. You know, the only member of ESPN your girlfriend can name besides Jesse Palmer.
But, then you’ve got the stuff that Jackson found behind the stage. These are the types of signs that ESPN hired guns plucked from the crowd, never to be seen on-air.
“Missouri loves company.”
“Chase Daniel. Hungry? Why wait?”
Several signs parodied Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy’s recent tirade toward Oklahoman columnist Jenni Carlson:
One read, “Lee Corso is twice the man Mike Gundy is. He’s 80!” Another, “Curtis Lofton, he’s a man. He’s No. 40.
But our absolute unseen favorite has to be the one that had a giant picture of Lou Holtz with the phrase “Thoonerth” printed over his head. (Think about it for a second.)
Don’t fret though, we learned from Lou himself that even if the GameDay thugs rip that sign into a million little pieces, belief in ourselves can put it back together.
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[NewsOK.com]: Fans unveil a bevy of posters
In case the Rockies leading the Diamondbacks 3-0 or the Indians and Red Sox being tied up at one apiece wasn’t enough to remind you what month it is, then maybe this will do the trick.
Hey, this guy might not even know the players’ names, but he’s still more tolerable than the real thing.
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[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: File Under “I Don’t Get It”
The Yankees were eliminated from the postseason the other day, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still the talk of the town in New York. Joe Torre, Alex Rodriguez, crying journalists; the madness just won’t stop. It even permeated into the grand Ed Sullivan Theater on Broadway.
Wow, who would have thought that the pectoral muscles of A-Rod and Biff would be so identical?
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[Our Book of Scrap]: David Letterman Is Still Pretty Damn Funny