Categories
Golf

The Fast and the Furious: PGA Drift


India’s first player on the PGA Tour, Arjun Atwal (Vijay Singh is Fijian…) is under investigation for a street race in Orlando that left the other driver dead. According to the Florida Highway Patrol, Atwal was racing John Noah Park when they lost control on a suburban road. Atwal’s car spun and came to a rest but Park’s car slammed into a tree.


Witnesses tell us they were engaged in a street race,” [Florida Trooper Kim] Miller said. “They estimated speeds at or about 100 miles per hour (160 k/ph). Park’s vehicle hit a tree and basically just shattered. Part of the axle was found in the tree. It was a very violent crash.

The PGA has no comment but we’ll see how they react to this incident. Aside from Fuzzy Zoeller’s fried chicken and watermelon comment, the PGA doesn’t usually have to deal with any controversy. We suspect that if Atwal is found guilty of anything, the PGA will drop him before the judge’s gavel comes down. This isn’t the NBA or the NFL. The corporate sponsors that make professional golf go round won’t stand for anything that might affect their brands. Of course, Atwal was driving a BMW and Park was driving a Mercedes so you know some sick marketing exec at BMW has already got a powerpoint deck ready to go.

Links:
[The Star]: PGA player investigated in fatal crash

Categories
Tennessee Titans

Pacman Jones almost gets Munsoned


Pacman Jones was involved in yet another off field incident over the weekend but in striking contrast to most of his encounters with the law, he didn’t get hauled away in handcuffs. In fact, it was Jones who was assaulted for once!

The confrontation happened inside of a Franklin, Tennessee bowling alley (Allen Iverson could have warned him about the perils of bowling alleys) when Clayton Smith whipped out his trusty red Swiss Army knife and “threatened to beat up Mr. Jones and to use the knife on him.” Nobody was hurt and Smith was arrested on charges of aggravated assault.

Just another day in the life of Mr. Jones who has been involved in at least ten separate incidents with police since being drafted; Jones’ attorneys, Worrick Robinson and Manny Arora, say Pacman has a tendency to be in the wrong place at the wrong time too often. “If he doesn’t commit to changing it, at some point it’s going to be too much,” Arora said. “It may already be there to some extent.” Really? Pacman at the wrong place at the wrong time? Next thing you’ll be telling us that there are lesbians in the WNBA!

Links:
[The Tennessean]: Police: Man threatened Pacman

Categories
NFL General

Pacman Jones tells us what’s wrong with the NFL drug policy


Pacman Jones is scheduled to appear in court this month for an obstruction of justice charge stemming from a fight with a police officer during a traffic stop. Pacman Jones in trouble again… yawn. (As the report mentioned, Jones has been in at least 10 off-the-field incidents involving police since being drafted.) Wake us up when he has to appear in court for the triple shooting at the Las Vegas strip club.

The Tennessean also mentions a marijuana bust last month that has since been dismissed. According to Mike Pruitt of the Fayette County Drug Task Force:


Jones showed up in a sports car as officers arrived at the home, and Pruitt smelled marijuana in the car.

“I asked him why his (Corvette) smelled so bad, and he said, ‘We were smoking it on the way down here from Nashville’.

“I asked him, ‘Why do you want to throw your career away for a bunch of marijuana junk?’ He said, ‘I know when I am going to get drug-tested, so I quit doing it.’ It’s just crazy.”

So basically, in the NFL, you can smoke weed and take HGH as much as you want because you know when the drug tests are coming and you can just take a ton of goldenseal and HGH can’t be detected in urine. Oh well, as long as we get our weekly ‘Jacked Up!’ segment, no one is complaining. Remember kids, they just play ball, they’re not role models.

Links:
[Tennessean]: Pacman faces felony charge in Georgia

Categories
Anaheim Angels

Gary Matthews Jr. named in Orlando steroid bust


According to the Albany Times Union, a multi-agency task force raided Signature Pharmacy in downtown Orlando after a year long investigation into steroids sales and shipments via the internet. According to Albany District Attorney David Soares, the company did over $36M in business last year from illegal prescriptions and steroids.

There is evidence that testosterone and other performance enhancing drugs were sold to current and former MLB, NFL and college players. The biggest names to come out so far are Gary Matthews Jr. of the Angels, Evander Holyfield, Jason Grimsley, and of course, Jose Canseco. Investigators also saw an Eagles player at the pharmacy and said a Redskins player is a customer.

Richard Rydze, a “top physician for the Steelers”, also was questioned for purchasing $150k worth of HGH in 2006. While Rydze claims the drugs were for his personal clients, we’re waiting to see what Steeler gets named in the documents that The Smoking Gun will eventually uncover.

Links:
[Steroid Nation]: Huge drug raid in Orlando nails Internet ‘steroids’ dealer. Pro athletes involved; Gary Matthew’s name released
[Albany Times Union]: Albany DA raids Fla. steroids center

Categories
Tennessee Titans

More on the Pacman Jones triple shooting



Not a care in the world

There are no new developments in the Pacman Jones strip club shooting but there are a couple stories in the press related to the incident where a club bouncer was shot in the spine and paralyzed from the waist down.

First, criminal defense lawyers not associated with the case are saying that unless there is damning video evidence, it’s going to be next to impossible to prove that Jones had anything to do with the incident. First the police have to find the shooter, then they have to link him to Jones.


If Pacman was with this individual and maybe knew he carried a weapon from time to time but never told him to go back to the vehicle to get a weapon and … had no feelings that (the shooting) was going to happen, then just because he might have been with him doesn’t make him criminally responsible for anything.

If he (Jones) knows what the other person is up to and encourages or incites another person to go back in there and shoot and cause that man to be paralyzed, then he is in serious trouble. That is in both criminal and civil, but the only problem with criminal is how are you going to prove that?

Basically, even if Jones knew the shooter and was involved it would be impossible to implicate Jones unless the shooter fingers Jones and we get the feeling that some cash in a duffle bag would solve that little problem.

Meanwhile, Roger Goodell is sick of the off-the-field incidents and so are other players. They want Goodell to crack down on chronic troublemakers. Gene Upshaw agrees:


They don’t want to be painted with the same brush as these guys [that are getting into trouble]. They want players held accountable for their actions and their decisions, just like they are with the drug policy. They want penalties for guys who continually put themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. They feel a guy should only have so many chances. They want three strikes and you’re out.

There could be some sort of policy in place by as early as Junes, although that would not likely affect Jones retroactively.

And finally, a former NYC cop living in Las Vegas and friend of the bouncer who was shot says that the Las Vegas police department is incompetent and has questions about the way they handled the incident.

We get the feeling nothing is going to happen to Pac Man Jones (although we should assume innocence here) until his next run in with the law at a strip club at 4 a.m.

Links:

[Tennessean]: If Pacman broke law, proving it may be tough
[Philly.com]: Owners, players want to bust bad guys

[SC]: Strip club owner says Pacman Jones knew shooter

Categories
Tennessee Titans

Strip club owner says Pacman Jones knew shooter



Photo from Sportsline

Adam “Pacman” Jones, who brought you such hits as “Chickenheads to the left, high class hos to the right” and “She stole my wallet!“, has released a new single titled, “That stripper took my money”.

His lawyer claims that Pacman was there but “nobody with him had a gun or fired a gun or was involved in any criminal activity.” However, Robert Susnar, co-owner of the club says that Pacman is lying and that he was sitting next to the shooter and came and left with him. According to Susnar, the trouble started after 4 a.m.


Jones had tossed hundreds of $1 bills on the stripper stage, an action known in street slang as “making it rain.” When one of the strippers started grabbing the money without Jones’ permission, he got angry, grabbed her hair and slammed her head against the stage, Susnar said.

That’s when security guard Aaron Cudworth, a mixed-martial artist with professional fighting experience, intervened and stopped the assault, he said.

“At that point, Pacman said, ‘I’m going to kill you,'” Susnar said.

A melee ensued as Cudworth scuffled with Jones and members of his entourage, Susnar said.

Order was eventually restored, and everyone was moved outside. That’s when the gunman opened fire toward the front door of the club, hitting Cudworth, security guard Tom Urbanski and a female customer.

According to Jones’ lawyer the commotion had nothing to do with Pacman allegedly slamming a stripper’s head into the stage and happened because Jones threw a bunch of money on stage and all the hos onstage and off started a wild dive for the bills. (We added in the hos part.) Eventually the surveillance tapes will tell the truth. It might be a very long long offseason for Jones.

The saddest part of this story is the security guard who started working there only two weeks before getting shot. He was moonlighting to put his wife through law school. Susnar said, “What does he get for a hard day’s work? A bullet in the spine because of a jackass athlete. It’s the most tragic thing I can imagine.”

Links:

[Las Vegas Review Journal]: Police looking at NFL player’s friend in strip club shooting

Categories
All Other Sports

USC goalie moons the crowd


USC Trojan Mickey Meyer decided that he had had enough of the refs and decided to moon the crowd in Utah. This is in a game in which USCicehockey.com describes as a lackluster effort following a late Friday game and having to play at 10AM on Saturday. In any case, the Trojans 6-4 and the goalie was ejected from the game and cited for lewdness.

According to the play by play broadcasters, he got a huge ovation from the crowd and had the Oregon players in stitches. However, not everyone was amused. The North Park County Attorney’s office is deciding whether to file criminal charges.

While the antics might have played well in Socal but the folks in Utah are upset over the incident. Here is the last reader comment from the article:


I’ve read a few of the comments since I explained that my little girls were shocked by what he did. When he “mooned” us, he showed us more than his behind (every one who was there knows what I mean). We’re going to make sure that he is prosecuted and that he pays for what he did.

Yikes. On everyone’s parts.

Links:
[Herald Journal]: USC hockey player ejected, cited after allegedly `mooning’ crowd

Categories
College Basketball

Inside Josh Heytvelt’s backpack



Those Twix are dangerous!

Police today released photos of evidence in the drug arrest of Gonzaga’s Josh Heytvelt and Theo Davis. More than an ounce of mushrooms, three muffins with mushrooms, and a blunt. Heytvelt might be facing felony charges for the mushrooms.

The mushrooms were found in a “Basketball Hall of Fame Challenge” backpack which Heytvelt said belonged to a friend who grew mushrooms in his basement. Way to sing like a canary, Josh. The three muffins were found in a backpack with Heytvelt’s name and number embroidered on the back. Heyvelt wisely owned up to owning that backpack.

The best laugh we’ve had all week though comes from this satirical article from the Brushback:


Gonzaga forward Josh Heytvelt was suspended indefinitely along with teammate Theo Davis on Saturday after both players were arrested and charged with possession of marijuana and psychedelic mushrooms. The arrest was particularly damaging to Heytvelt, a stand-out player and probable NBA draft pick, who had his shrooms confiscated five days before the Panic show at Spokane Arena.

This isn’t some evil criminal, just a good kid who made a bad decision and who has some growing up to do,” Few said. “You just hope that he learns from it and it makes him a better person. As for Theo, I have to say I’m very surprised at him. To be honest, I didn’t even think black kids were into psychedelic drugs. I thought it was just a suburban white kid thing. If he’s into Widespread Panic, too, that’s going to turn my whole world upside down.

Links:
[Spokesman Review]: Heytvelt denied mushrooms were his, police say

[Spokesman Review]: Heytvelt evidence slideshow

Categories
NFL General

Just throw some Tussin on it!

San Diego Charger Terrance Kiel pleaded guilty to felony and misdemeanor charges for shipping two parcels of codeine-based cough syrup from California to Texas. His guilty plea requires gives him complete 100 hours of community work and undergo counseling for gambling. If he completes both by August 7th (oh right around the time preseason hits) then the felony charge will be dropped.

Apparently Kiel had a gambling problem and some “significant losses” forced him to find some extra cash. His lawyer said that the plea was fair.


I think the punishment fits the crime in this case. What he did was illegal, but we have to keep in mind it was cough syrup with two-percent codeine. That’s pretty low down the line for controlled substances.

This sounds about right. It’s not as if he’s Bam Morris or Nate Newton with pounds of pot in the trunk of his car. And anyway, we hear cough syrup can be used to heal practically anything.

Links:
[Sign OnSanDiego]: Kiel pleads guilty to drug char

Categories
High School Sports

Cheerleaders. Soldiers. Booze. Sex.


That’s the headline from Newsweek. They are either running out of good headline writers or they simply realized that there really isn’t anything more you need to add. Why waste words when that will get everyone’s attention. Hell, if they could have added lesbian to it, I’m sure they would have. Titillating headlines aside, this story has got everything that tabloids love… except it’s Newsweek.

According to the article, two cheerleaders from Ware Shoals High School in South Carolina ditched a school function and instead headed to a hotel room with their coach Jill Moore to meet two National Guardsmen on a recruiting trip to their high school. Moore allegedly gave the girls vodka and then went to another hotel room with one of the guardsmen and left the other one with the two girls. One of the girls admitted to having sex with him.

Oh but wait… there’s more. The principal of the school is being charged with obstruction of justice for trying to cover up what the cheerleading coach did. Oh but wait… there’s even Moore… (sorry)… Jill Moore also is accused of having sex with a male high school student and separately would bring along a cheerleader to the National Armory to distract other employees while she had sex with a Guardsman. Did we mention she is married with two kids. (Jill, you dirty slut.)

Moore is the only one to be charged. The guardsman are off the hook because everyone involved were at least 16, the age of consent in South Carolina. The Newsweek subheader was “A National Guard recruiting mission gone awry shakes a small South Carolina town to its core.” Did it really go awry? This might be the single best thing to happen to the National Guard. What high school student isn’t going to want to join the Guard now? Look at the perks!

Links:
[Newsweek ]:Cheerleaders. Soldiers. Booze. Sex.