Down goes Canseco! Down goes Canseco!

In case you missed it, which was very easy and distinctly possible, Jose Canseco got his ass handed to him on a platter by former NFL Pro Bowler Vai Sikahema during the “War At The Shore” over the weekend. Here’s the highlights, er, lowlights of the fight, er, manhandling.

Oh, and in an equally amusing Canseco tidbit, he is now claiming Madonna wanted his juice to make a super baby. Truth. Just check out his interview on

Us: What can you tell us about your relationship with Madonna?

Jose Canseco: Well it’s in the book. We were not intimate.

Us: She was interested but you were not, correct?

JC: No, I was married at the time. I was interested in my wife.

Us: Where did she approach you? Where was the first time you met? How did it happen?

JC: At her house I think it was in the Hollywood Hills. Our people set it up. Her people approached me saying she was interested in meeting me.

Us: What did they say was the reason?

JC: She wanted to get married and have a child with me. [note from ed: Lourdes was born in 1996]

Us: That was her intention to have a child with you?

JC: Yeah, I’m Cuban and she wanted a Cuban child.

Us: And she barely knew you at this point.

JC: She didn’t.

Us: So she was interested in your genes.

JC: Yeah, I’m Cuban 6-foot-3, athletic, built. …

Us: Do you think that part of the attraction was that you were intimidated or that you were married?

JC: No, I think it was that I am Cuban and tall and a big athlete.

Us: So she was very interested in making a attractive, talented child?

JC: Yes.


[]: Jose Canseco: Singer Madonna Begged Me to Impregnate Her

General Sports

Jose, are you ready? Curt, are you ready? Let’s get it on!

When Celebrity Boxing first appeared on FOX, we were stoked. But that was before we were forced to endure horrible, horrible fights like Manute Bol vs. Refrigerator Perry and Joey Buttafuoco vs. Chyna. Of course, the final straw for us came when Screech pulverized Horshack. Talk about disheartening! However, it appears we final have reason to root for FOX to throw the show back on the air.

Retired steroid slugger Jose Canseco challenged Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling to a fight while appearing this morning on Angelo Cataldi’s morning show on WIP in Philadelphia. Canseco also claimed the bloody sock that helped make Schilling famous was actually ketchup.

Damn, is there anything Canseco won’t do for a wad of cash?! Talk about desperate! But we gotta give him points for being creative because a lot of people would love to see Shill get his ass handed to him on a plate. Of course, regardless of what goes down in the ring, the highlight of the night will be when they show the gratuitous clip of Canseco using his noggin as a baseball trampoline. That never gets old.


[Larry Brown Sports]: Canseco vs. Schilling, Celebrity Boxing?

MLB General

Jose Canseco says Alex Rodriguez is an attempted home wrecker

Jose Canseco has a new book coming out which can mean only one thing: more major leaguers are about to get thrown under the bus. First up, Alex Rodriguez.

According to writer Joe Lavin who got his hands on a copy of “Vindicated: Big Names, Big Liars, and The Battle to Save Baseball” prior to it drop date on April 1, Canseco claims to have introduced A-Rod to a steroids distributor. At this point, we’re willing to believe just about anybody is or has been juiced, but considering Canseco apparently freely admits to not actually sticking a needle into Rodriguez’s ass and pumping him up, we’re going to leave it at that. However, we all know A-Rod is true player in every sense of the word, so we don’t doubt Canseco’s other claims for one second.

He [Lavin] says Canseco claimed he didn’t inject Rodriguez but “introduced Alex to a known supplier of steroids.” Lavin also says “Canseco claims that A-Rod was trying to sleep with Canseco’s wife.”

“I really, absolutely, have no reaction,” Rodriguez said Tuesday when asked about the claim relating to the steroids distributor. As far as the allegation regarding Canseco’s wife, Rodriguez responded:

“I don’t know how to answer that.

Well, you could start with either a yes or a no, that’s how most people go about answering questions. Of course, you are a modern-day baseball player, so we assume you’re just following protocol.


[NBC Sports]: Report: A-Rod was pursuing Canseco’s wife

MLB General

Jose Canseco desperately needs more attention

…or money, or steroids.

According to a press release, Jose is shopping around a new reality show called “A Day With Jose”.

Contestants will “pitch” their fantasy day ideas to a panel of judges, and 6 finalists will surprise Jose with their planned activities — and compete for the ultimate prize — Jose’s 40/40 DIAMOND RING!

Wow… Joe Canseco’s 40/40 Diamond Ring. Awesome. That’s worth maybe $10k. Meanwhile, the only contestants we think will try out are reality show whores who will use it as a stepping stone to an “acting” career. We’d actually like to spend a day with Canseco and live blog the whole thing:

9:00AM: Showered. Took some steroids with Jose.
10:00AM: Got another supplement. Helped Jose pick out a see through shirt for him to wear.
11:00AM-5:00PM: Grilled Jose Canseco on how much steroids he injected into Mark McGwire’s ass.

Didn’t Canseco try this Day With Jose business 4 years ago?

[Larry Brown Sports]: Jose Canseco’s Trying For a Reality TV Show: A Day with Jose

Anaheim Angels

Gary Matthews Jr. named in Orlando steroid bust

According to the Albany Times Union, a multi-agency task force raided Signature Pharmacy in downtown Orlando after a year long investigation into steroids sales and shipments via the internet. According to Albany District Attorney David Soares, the company did over $36M in business last year from illegal prescriptions and steroids.

There is evidence that testosterone and other performance enhancing drugs were sold to current and former MLB, NFL and college players. The biggest names to come out so far are Gary Matthews Jr. of the Angels, Evander Holyfield, Jason Grimsley, and of course, Jose Canseco. Investigators also saw an Eagles player at the pharmacy and said a Redskins player is a customer.

Richard Rydze, a “top physician for the Steelers”, also was questioned for purchasing $150k worth of HGH in 2006. While Rydze claims the drugs were for his personal clients, we’re waiting to see what Steeler gets named in the documents that The Smoking Gun will eventually uncover.

[Steroid Nation]: Huge drug raid in Orlando nails Internet ‘steroids’ dealer. Pro athletes involved; Gary Matthew’s name released
[Albany Times Union]: Albany DA raids Fla. steroids center

MLB General

The Full Count: Juiced on the mound


1. If you thought Mark Redman wasn’t an All Star…: Jose Canseco’s All Star appearance was 1 for 2. While he did win the home run derby in the Golden Baseball League All Star extravaganza, his pitching was awful even by independent league standards. He allowed 4 runs while recording just one out; his knuckleball evidently not working. Canseco had pitched in the majors before in a blowout situation. In that appearance he allowed 3 runs while throwing almost double the amount of balls than strikes. He also tore a ligament in his elbow, ending his season. Maybe it’s not such a good idea to let a power hitter like Canseco pitch.

2. Young pitchers rule, Part 1: Where would the Red Sox be without their rookie pitchers? We’re talking about Jon Lester and Jonathan Papelbon, who have both been lights-out in their action so far this year. They were showcased more than ever yesterday, when they combined to one-hit the Kansas City Royals. Lester pitched 8 near-perfect innings for the victory, while Papelbon cleaned up with his 28th save. Combine those saves with Lester’s 5-0 record and Papelbon’s 2-1 record, and that means that these two pitchers have been a part of a combined 35 Red Sox victories. They are both a part of one of the most intriguing stories in baseball this year–the AL’s rookie pitchers.

3. Young pitchers rule, Part II: Many have already conceded the AL rookie of the year award to Papelbon. While he is very deserving, you cannot have that discussion without mentioning Francisco Liriano. Liriano bounced back from his worst start of the season last week with a shutdown of the Devil Rays yesterday. He was one out short of a complete game and allowed no runs and 3 hits. Liriano outdeuled another young stud, Scott Kazmir, who allowed 4 runs in 6 innings. Now Liriano is first in the majors in both ERA (1.94) and WHIP (.95) among starters. He has held opponents to just a .196 batting average and has more strikeouts (115) than innings pitched (102.0). How could you not give this guy some love for ROTY? With him and Johan Santana, the Twins will have two excellent starters for a long time.

4. Belting Beltran: Carlos Beltran accomplished a very special feat yesterday. For the second game in a row, Beltran hit a grand slam, becoming only the 23rd player ever to do that and the first since 2002. Even more interestingly, prior to the slams he was 0-11 with the bases loaded in the last 2 seasons. Beltran, who was considered a bust last year with a mere 16 homers and 78 RBIs, is on pace for 50 and 144 this year. His OPS has increased from .744 to 1.002, and he is slugging 200 points higher. This is the player the Mets expected when they signed him to a $13 million/season contract two years ago, and that contact is now worth every penny. If it wasn’t for Albert Pujols, Beltran would be considered an MVP favorite.

5. White Sox would have an even record against each other this year since they are the top two teams in baseball. But so far, the #2 White Sox have dominated their Detroit rivals. Last night was no different, as Chicago won 7-1 to improve to 6-1 on the year against the Tigers. Jon Garland, who has been one of the most inconsistent pitchers in the majors this year, had one of his better games. Garland allowed one run over 7, and his offense gave him plenty of support. Paul Konerko homered twice and drove in 4 runs, and Joe Crede hit another homer, his 18th. For the losing Tigers, Nate Robinson had one of his worst games, allowing 6 earned runs. These two teams will become very familiar with each other over the next few months. They play 12 more times, including games today and tomorrow that will both be on ESPN.

MLB General

Will Canseco’s energy drink shrink your balls?

Just a little tidbit from the Miami Herald that Jose Canseco will release an energy drink called “Juiced – The Drink” in September. His attorney says that he’s struggling financially. Canseco is also shopping a movie about his life and writing the follow-up to “Juiced” (the book). Life as the official whistleblower of Major League Baseball isn’t lucrative enough it seems.

MLB General

The Full Count: The return of Mark Teixeira

1. Big Tex’s Big Game: Of all the disappointing players from the first half of the season, perhaps none was more puzzling than Mark Teixeira. The slugger, who was an All Star in 2005 with 43 homers and 143 RBIs, only had 9 and 49, made his first step to a comeback yesterday. He crushed 3 homers and 7 RBIs off the weak Orioles pitching. That means in one day he achieved one-third of his first-half homerun total and one-seventh of the RBIs! Tex wasn’t the only offensive star in the Rangers’ 15-1 rout of the O’s. Mark DeRosa went 4-4 and homered, and Brad Wilkerson drove in four runs. The awful Baltimore bullpen combined to allow 11 runs, including 5 homers.

2. Albert Again: When people think of the great clutch hitters in baseball, David Ortiz and Derek Jeter usually come to mind. But now that short list should definitely include Albert Pujols, who once again won the game for the Cardinals yesterday. Pujols homered in the 14th inning to break a long-lasting 2-2 tie. It was his 30th homer of the year, and he also has 77 RBIs. Pujols also won a game last Saturday with a homerun.

3. Offense rules: That saying is apparently upheld by the Rockies and the Reds, two perennially high-scoring teams who combined for 4 multi-run innings at the Great American Ballpark last night. The Reds started the scoring with a three-run first, including a two-RBI single, a steal, and a run by Adam Dunn. The score was 4-1 Reds in the sixth when the Rockies’ Todd Helton connected with a two-run shot. The seventh inning was all-Reds, as Ken Griffey Jr. and Juan Castro both hit shots to right to lead a 5-run inning. The game was apparently sealed in the ninth, with the Reds up 9-3. But no lead is too large when you have the Reds’ bullpen, and Jason Standridge and Eddie Guadardo nearly blew the game in the ninth. They allowed four runs, all charged to Standridge, but Guadardo struck out Helton with two outs to finally end this showdown.

4. Why’d they do that?: The Reds had more action last night than just their game. They were also involved in a semi-blockbuster trade. Cincy sent shortstop Felipe Lopez and outfielder Austin Kearns to the Nationals, but they didn’t acquire a big-name player from the willing-to-deal Washington organization. In return for these two offensive standouts, the Reds got relievers Bill Bray and Gary Majewski in addition to three other players. The Reds are desperate for bullpen help, but this might be going a little too far. They traded two everyday players to get relievers with mid-three’s ERAs on the year. In our esteemed opinion, that’s not a good deal.

5. His life: That might be the only thing that Jose Canseco is not willing to give federal officials. Yesterday Canseco told investigators the names of more former major league players who used steroids. Even more importantly, he told them the names of managers and administrators who might have known about the illegal drug use but did nothing to stop it. Canseco is even willing to join the investigators and “use his friendship with [the players] to talk to them comfortably [about steroids].” Canseco probably isn’t the most trustworthy of sources in our books. He recently called baseball the “mafia” and said they played favorites with drug tests.

MLB General

The Full Count: We’re going streaking!

1. Make it a dozen: The Red Sox just keep on winning, and even a series against the NL’s best team didn’t produce an Interleague loss. The Sox completed a sweep of the Mets on Thursday in a heavily anticipated Glavine vs. Shilling matchup. Each pitcher held the opposing team scoreless through five innings, but they ended up allowing two earned runs each. Shilling pitched seven innings to earn the victory, his only mistake a two-run shot allowed to Carlos Beltran in the 6th inning. Coco Crisp used a bunt single, a steal, and a sacrifice fly to score and break the 2-2 tie in the 7th. David Ortiz hit his 23rd homer to seal the deal, and Jon Papelbon collected his 24th save. The Red Sox are now up by a season-high 4 games in the AL East, while the Mets still hold an 11-game lead in the NL East.

2. It’s over: The Pirates losing streak finally ended last night despite facing the best pitcher one of the AL’s best teams. The Bucs defeated the White Sox 7-6, and Jose Contreras had his worst outing of the year but was spared of the loss. Contreras allowed 6 runs in five innings, but his undeafeated streak still stands at 16 games. That’s because Jim Thome tied up the game at 6-6 in the eighth with a pinch-hit homerun, his AL-leading 25th on the year. For the Pirates, Freddy Sanchez went 4-5 and hit a game-winning walk-off homer in the ninth. His batting average increased to an NL-leading .363. This game means little more than an ended streak for the Pirates however. They are still 17.5 games back of the Cardinals in their division.

3. Streaking Seattle: One of the many AL teams taking advantage of a weakened National League is the Seattle Mariners, whose 10-2 record in Interleague play has left them only two games back in the AL West. They currently have a 5-game winning streak going after completing a sweep of the struggling Arizona Diamondbacks. Yesterday they won 3-2 after a strong start by Gil Meche, who is 3-0 in his last five starts and has dropped his ERA over a point. JJ Putz picked up his 14th save for Seattle, and he has only blown one save all season. Raul Ibanez is having one of the quietest yet effective seasons of any player, and last night he hit his 17th homer and 63rd RBI. Even Adrian Beltre has raised his average from under .200 to .262 over the past month or so.

4. They like their homers in Cincy: After hitting four homers against the Kansas City Royals on Wednesday, the Reds were at it again on Thursday. They hit three homeruns, one each by Ken Griffey Jr., Felipe Lopez, and Adam Dunn. Griffey’s shot marked his fourth game in a row going yard, while Dunn’s blast gave him 25 on the year. Dunn also hit a double in the eighth inning that drove in the game-winning run. The win for Cincinnati left them just one game back of the Cardinals, and it appears they are for real. Bronson Arroyo, who left after seven innings and received a no-decision, allowed two runs to keep his ERA at an NL-leading 2.58. The Royals, meanwhile, once again have the majors’ worst record after their loss and the Pirates’ win.

5. Bringing juice to the Golden Baseball League: Jose Canseco is back in a professional uniform, as he agreed to a contract with the San Diego Surf Dawgs. Canseco will play DH and even pitch for the team, which plays in the independent Golden Baseball League. He will make the league maximum salary, which is just $2,500 per month. We’re waiting to see if a steroid scandal will soon rock this independent league.

MLB General

Jose Canseco is tearing it up

MSBL uniform?

Jose Canseco insists he can still hit Major League pitching but while he’s waiting for the call, he’s honing his skills in the Los Angeles Men’s Senior Baseball League. Or maybe he just enjoys being the ringer. Valley Mets manager Gary Zelmen quotes, “What a weapon. It’s like cheating.”

Aluminum bats, high school fields, Canseco hitting it about 480 feet. That pretty much sums up the league. That, and Jose’s gotta chip in $5 to pay the umpire. You gotta give it to Canseco though. The guy clearly loves to play the game. People (ok.. we) make fun of Canseco and Rickey Henderson all the time for trying to stay in the game past their expiration date but unless they’re doing it for the money, it’s actually refreshing. Could you imagine Barry Bonds playing any kind of organized ball after he retires? Bonds doesn’t just not love the game, he clearly hates it.

Meanwhile, Canseco is jacking em out of high school fields and the other guys in the league get to say they played ball with a major leaguer. Oh, and if you want to go check it out. The Mets are playing the Cardinals at Westminster High School on 5/21.


[SF Gate]: Canseco back on the diamond, having fun as an amateur
[MSBL]: The Men’s Senior Baseball League of Southern California