Avery Johnson might have gotten canned as the Mavericks head coach following three consecutive postseason humiliations, but the Little General is already back on his feet with a new gig.
Kinda boring if you ask us. We think he could sell a lot more cars if he promoted his store in a more exciting manner.
With the Lakers two-point defeat of San Antonio in Game 4, they put a strangle hold on the series, meaning Kobe Bryant is one step closer to winning his fourth NBA championship. Of course, four rings still leave him two short of catching Michael Jordan who’s sitting in Charlotte with six in his pocket. And we all know that Kobe wants to be like Mike…in every way.
If you’ve never been to a mixed martial arts fight in person then you’re missing out. Sure, watching it at home is great, but it’s nothing like being there live. The hoopla is half the fun. When you’re sitting at home on your couch then you’re not experiencing all the sights, sounds and smells of combat. Actually, disregard that part about the smells.
In Saturday’s match against Corey Wethey, [Fred] Mitchell struck his opponent so hard that Wethey lost control of his bowels. The incident required a 10-minute intermission while officials scrubbed down the ring. Mitchell went on to win the fight by Wethey’s disqualification.
The fight — the seventh of the night – began like any other. Mitchell and Wethey left their corners, tapped gloves and traded punches. After landing a knee to Wethey’s body, Mitchell said he began to smell something foul.
As the fight prolonged, Mitchell said the smell continued to worsen. Eventually, he removed his mouth piece and expressed his concerns to the ring official.
“He s— himself,” Mitchell said repeatedly.
It was at that point Wethey gained the advantage and locked Mitchell’s head between his thighs.
As the round progressed, news about Wethey’s intestinal difficulties slowly made its way to the ring officials, who were at a loss of what to do.
Once the round ended, Wethey told his corner what happened and quickly was evacuated from the ring.
After Mitchell’s win was announced, he took the microphone and proclaimed to the crowd, “You can say I beat the crap out of him.”
Everyone tried to warn Wethey that he should have cut the extra weight a lot earlier, but he’s such a procrastinator.
Links:
[Deuce of Davenport]: MMA Fighter Found Himself In A Sh*tty Situation
[TheTownTalk.com]: Unusual incident causes disqualification at MMA event
When Kobe Bryant gets mad, he takes it out on the poor souls in opposing jerseys that happen to be attempting to guard him. Unfortunately, his wife Vanessa can’t pull off a cross-over dribble or go reverse off the glass, so, instead, when she’s unhappy, she uses her words. And most of them are bad; at least, according to ESPN The Magazine writer Laura Lane.
So as I’m walking out of the Lakers locker room after some post-game interviews with the players, I pass Vanessa, who is sitting outside the locker room as usual with her two girls.
“Laura!” she screams (yes, she apparently knows my name). “Fuck you! You fucking bitch!”
“Excuse me?” I say, completely baffled as I look around me to see if there is someone else named Laura. No, there’s not.
Her daughters – ages 5 and 2 – are sitting next to her on the bench looking at their mom as she screams.
“Fuck you! How dare you write about me and my daughters and their schedule! You didn’t say you were writing an article! Fuck you! You fucking bitch. You have no journalism ethics! Fuck you! You bitch – ”
I just stare at her. I’ve heard many stories about her from reporters, but this was unbelievable. Two of my friends from the LA Times told me how she cussed out one of them last season, because he said hi to her daughter. “Join the club, this means you’ve arrived,” said one reporter when word spread of my run-in with Vanessa. “She’s insane,” said another. “Everyone knows it.”
Maybe Lane should consider purchasing Vanessa a $4 million purple diamond ring. That shut her up once before.
Links:
[Awful Announcing]: ESPN Writer Gets Cussed Out By Kobe Bryant’s Wife
What happens when you cross a wannabe baller and about two pots of coffee? Basically, you get this:
So, that’s what Dan Cortese was up to between MTV Sports and My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad.
Over the weekend, a soccer player scored a goal from 60-yards on an open net and, of course, it had to be David Beckham.
Like him or not, that was a pretty sweet goal.
We all know that athletes are notorious pranksters, but over the weekend it was the Saints’ Reggie Bush who got punk’d by his big-bootyed baby Kim Kardashian. The duo hosted a white party up in the Hamptons and since Bush refused to do any interviews, Kim decided to get her kicks.
“His training camp starts in a week in New Orleans and he just started his mini camp, so he has the next few days off before he buckles down,” she said.
What makes him a good boyfriend? “The fact that he came with me all the way to the Hamptons on his day off when all of his friends are in Las Vegas on their usual – you know, [getaway].”
As for the sparkling ring she was wearing, Kardashian told PEOPLE, “I’m about two months pregnant right now and we’re getting married on August 8th of 2008.”
Bush appeared stricken until she added, “It’s a joke.” But the possibility is still very real. When asked if she’d like to have kids one day and get married, Kardashian said, “Yes, of course. I’d love to get married.”
Whew! That was a close one. Rumor has it that Reggie was in the next county before someone caught him and told him it was all in jest.
Links:
[People]: Kim Kardashian & Reggie Bush Host White Party
After Kobe Bryant went berserk during the second half of the Spurs/Lakers Western Conference Finals series opener on Wednesday, San Antonio is searching for ways to contain the Mamba. Bruce Bowen is going to have his hands full once again trying to stop Bryant from filling up the bucket, meaning the defensive specialist might have to resort to some more unorthodox techniques. Wally Szcerbiak is no Kobe Bryant, but this particular strategy seemed to work against him and it should work against Bryant too.
If you think sports have always been as dapper as they are now then you’re sadly mistaken. Obviously, you’re new to the game because there have been some absolutely horrid fashion trends that swept through the world of sports. Sure, at the time they seemed like the coolest thing ever, but with time comes wisdom. And embarrassment.
Here’s the Top 10 Worst Sports Fashion Trends over the past two decades according to The Love of Sports.
10. Starter Jackets
9. Visors
8. Pink, Red and Green Apparel
7. Hats With The Tags Still On
6. Jersey Dresses
5. Spandex
4. Reebok Pumps
3. Coed Naked Shirts
2. Umbros
1. Zubaz
You’ll get no argument for us regarding the Zubaz. Completely appalling in all ways. However, we’re going to go down swinging in regards to the jersey dresses. Fat chicks defiantly bring their stock way down, but cheerleaders across America more than make up for it. Yea, we’re talking about you, UCLA.
Links:
[The Love of Sports]: Top 10 Worst Sports Fashion Trends
If you’re anything like us then you waste at least 10 hours a day listening to ESPN podcasts. And we’re just scratching the surface on the pile of podcasts produced everyday by the Worldwide Leader in Sports. Most of the time, nothing juicy happens. Mike Tirico blabbers to Scott Van Pelt, Barry Melrose gets interviewed by some hockey dork and if you’re lucky then you’ll hear someone make fun of Stu Scott’s lazy eye. So, why do we even bother listening to this stuff? It’s all for moments like this between football yapper Jeremy Green (son of “If you want to crown their asses then crown `em” Dennis Green) and annoying douches Matthew Berry and Nate Ravitz.
Damn, a couple more minutes and we were bound to have a situation like this on our hands.
Links:
[Awful Announcing]: ESPN Fantasy Podcast Fights Are Fun
