Categories
St. Louis Cardinals

Tony La Russa done in by that one last drink


Tony La Russa was arrested around midnight last night after failing a DUI test… just barely. The legal limit in Florida is .080 and La Russa registered at .093 on the breathalyzer. But stats aside, you know the real reason La Russa was busted for DUI? His car was stopped at an intersection but still in drive and he was asleep (and we imagine drooling) with his foot on the brake.

Not only did La Russa almost make it under the .08 limit, he was almost home. The intersection where he fell asleep was only half a mile from his house. A shot of Red Bull would have kept him going those extra 2 minutes and he would have avoided all this embarassment and bad publicity.

Links:
[STLToday]: La Russa arrested on drunk-driving charge

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: Artest gets arraigned


1. What did the five fingers say to the face?
It’s all fun and games for Ron Artest while he’s slapping his wife but now Ron Ron is facing the potential punishment for his lack of anger management. Artest will be arraigned today on charges of battery and corporal injury to a spouse, false imprisonment and dissuading a witness from reporting a crime. That sucks for Artest because each charge carries a maximum sentence of one year in the slammer. Artest should shoot a text over to Stephen Jackson and get some tips on how he’s managed to avoid jail time after his strip club incident. But the NBA’s bad boy has had plenty of time to prepare for this day considering that sheriff’s have made the trip to Artest’s home five times since last August, and two of those responses involved some type of domestic disturbance. In fact, the Tru Warier has been involved with the law so frequently that he will be eligible for a limited edition Pacman Jones bobble-head with just three more arrests!

2. Kids in men’s clothing

Last night was another great battle between two of the league’s most promising big men in Chris Bosh and Dwight Howard but Toronto got more help when it counted and the Raptors ended up on top, 92-85. But back to the individual battle; while Howard had a respectable night with 17 points, 12 rebounds, three blocks and three assists it just wasn’t enough to outdo his fellow Eastern Conference All-Star who racked up 34 points, 16 rebounds and a pair of swats. And TJ Ford didn’t help Orlando out any as he put up 16 points and 12 assists. This Toronto/Orlando rivalry is becoming must watch TV thanks to the new breed superstars. The last time these teams hooked up on Feb. 7, Bosh had a career-high 41 points while Howard had a career-high night of his own with 32 points on 13-for-14 shooting.

3. Three down, 13 to go
With an easy victory over the slumping Pacers last night, the Spurs became the third team to lock up a playoff spot. The 90-72 win couldn’t have come at a better time for San Antonio who went on a two-game losing skid after winning a season-high 13 consecutive games prior to that. Tim Duncan beginning to look very spry with the post season approaching as he torched Indiana for 27 points on 11-of-16 shooting. He even hit five of his eight free throws and for Timmy, that’s pretty darn good. The Spurs have now joined Phoenix and Dallas in the post season with Utah and Houston set to guarantee their slot any day now. It’s really only a matter of which teams grab the final three spots and secure their series with one of the major players in the West.

Wednesday’s Player of the Day: Gilbert Arenas @ Seattle 38 min, 42 pts (FG: 13-24, 3FG: 6-12, FT: 10-12), 4 reb, 7 ast, 2 stl, 1 blk

Thursday’s Game to Watch: Los Angeles Lakers (35-32) @ Memphis (17-51) It’s really hard not to put Detroit at Houston as the game of the day but with the way Kobe Bryant has been stroking it lately you have got to tune in to see what he does next. And c’mon, it’s the Grizz; Bryant could be looking at a “double nickel” by the end of the third quarter if he’s feeling good. Should Kobe top 50 points he would become the first Laker to accomplish that feat since Elgin Baylor did it in December of 1962. That would be pretty freakin’ amazing considering that Kareem, Magic and Shaq have all worn the purple and gold. The Mamba has a two-game total of 115 points which is good for the third highest in the last 40 seasons. Only Michael Jordan and, well, Kobe Bryant have a higher total in two games after each managed to rack up 118 points. In other words, he’s hot.

Buzzer Beater: As pathetic as it sounds, the United States basketball team will have to qualify for the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, China. If the red, white and blue is going to be involved in the Olympic experience they will have to start off by beating Venezuela in the Americas Tournament which will be held in Las Vegas from August 22 to September 2. Also in the same group as the US are Brazil, Canada and the US Virgin Islands. At least Greece isn’t in this tourney, because it was the Greeks that knocked Team USA out of contention for the championship round at the 2006 World Championship. And it was that loss that is now forcing the States to qualify before they can even get invited to the Olympics. As Charles Barkley would say, “Michael Jordan, Larry Bird and Magic Johnson must be rollin’ over in their graves.”

Categories
NFL General

Carr and Casserly are gone but the stigma of stupidity remains



That’s a lot closer than
David Carr or Matt Schaub will
ever get to a championship.

The Houston Texans have official proven that they are the dumbest team in the NFL. Just one year after saying they were convinced David Carr was the quarterback who could take them to a Super Bowl, the Texans are trading Carr to Atlanta for Matt Schaub. The Falcons will also receive a second round-pick in the deal as well.

So, Houston passed on hometown hero Vince Young, Matt Leinart and Jay Cutler for Matt Schaub? And we’re not even mentioning that they could have also selected the multidimensional Reggie Bush. Schaub has been solid when given the opportunity to play in Atlanta, but the guy has only thrown 161 career passes with six touchdowns and six interceptions. Is that really worth skipping out on filling the stadium every home game with thousands of screaming Young fans?

It was as obvious before the draft as it was after the season that Carr was not the guy to lead a sewer dwelling franchise out of the scum and into Super Bowl supremacy. But former GM Charlie Casserly stuck around a bit too long and refused to lose face by giving up on the franchise’s first ever pick. And now the few fans that Houston has left will be forced to endure the torture of watching Mario Williams while knowing that Bush or Young could be bringing down the house with some sick footwork.

Williams will always be the Sam Bowie of the NFL and the Texans are now firmly entrenched as the Trailblazers of the league; minus the rapes, assaults and arrests of course.

Links:

[Chron.com]: Texans near deal for Matt Schaub
[NFL.com]: Falcons to trade QB Schaub to Texans

Categories
Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Odds and Ends: In case you want to get Jeff Garcia something for his wedding


Some guy over at the Fanhouse did some top-notch investigative journalism and found Jeff Garcia and Carmella DeCesare’s wedding registry on Williams-Sonoma. For a guy who just signed a $7M contract, Garcia’s registry is somewhat normal. Outside of a $1,600 knife set (on sale for $1,200!), it’s like a registry you’d find for poor people. (Poor relative to NFL players poor, not we’re registered at K-Mart poor.)

Anyone want to chip in on some Blueberry Waffle & Pancake Mix? Only $9.50 plus shipping!

In other news…

[AP]: EU wants barriers to sports bets lifted. (meanwhile we can’t even legally have an office pool)

[Seal Clubbers]: Seattle closes the door on Jerramy Stevens

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: Hey at least he didn’t wait till he was 24 like Shaun Alexander

[Newsday]: Bob Uecker’s stalker is back!

[Awful Announcing]: Does this mean we have to hate UNC now?

[49ers News]: Look out Niners fans, Rosenhaus is trying to ruin your team

Categories
Indianapolis Colts

Tony Dungy isn’t anti anything, except the gays


He’s no Tim Hardaway but isn’t Tony Duny basically saying the same thing? During a speech at a fundraising dinner for the Indiana Family Insitute, a group that supports a constitution amendment banning gay marriages, Dungy said, “I appreciate the stance they’re taking, and I embrace that stance.” Dungy is smart enough to couch it as pro-family instead of anti-gay but it’s essentially the same thing.


IFI is saying what the Lord says. You can take that and make your decision on which way you want to be. I’m on the Lord’s side. We’re not anti- anything else. We’re not trying to downgrade anyone else. But we’re trying to promote the family — family values the Lord’s way.

It’s the Lord’s way or the (hershey) highway! Basically Tony Dungy, who thanked all the great fans in Indy after the Super Bowl thinks that the gay ones are evil and will burn in hell. We’re not sure that’s the type of fan appreciation they were looking for.

Links:
[Indy Star]: Dungy: ‘I embrace’ same-sex marriage ban
[Out Sports]: Dungy proudly announces opposition to gay marriage

Categories
Tennessee Titans

Pacman Jones might have less money to make it rain



Take a bite out of crime!

It has been speculated for a couple of weeks now but Don Banks at Sports Illustrated is reporting that the NFL is going to set an example by suspending Pacman Jones, not for his role in the Las Vegas strip club triple shooting, but for failing to tell the Titans about two 2006 arrests in Georgia which violates the personal conduct clause in his contract.

According to a source in the league office:


We can’t tell the Titans that he won’t play for them ever again, because the Titans, at the end of the day, will determine his long-term future. But the league will determine his short-term future. You should see something within a two or three-week time frame, and I would think you could expect a multiple-game suspension, or as much as a year or beyond.

The suspension could come immediately after the owners meetings next week in Arizona. Pacman is unlikely to get any support from the Players Association as commissioner Roger Goodell has worked closely with NFLPA executive director Gene Upshaw on writing the new personal conduct guidelines and has the support of a lot of the veterans.

Links:
[SI]: Time to get tough

Categories
Jacksonville Jaguars

Khalif Barnes doesn’t hate white cops — just the one who arrested him

After being picked up for driving drunk in Jacksonville back in November, Jaguars offensive tackle Khalif Barnes decided to let the Jacksonville law enforcement know exactly how he felt about them. And apparently, he feels like Jacksonville is not too far away from burning crosses and wearing white sheets and calls the arresting officer a “KKK devil that hates all colored people.”

This is unbelievable, man, unbelievable being a pro athlete in Jacksonville. I can’t wait to get out of here. Can’t wait,” Barnes said while handcuffed in the back of a Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office patrol car. “Especially if you’re black.”

About 20 minutes later, still in the patrol car, he said, “Of all the places in the — world that I came to this — hick town. They — hate us here. Why you even want to have a pro team here? What’s the use? They don’t even — respect you.

Luckily for us all of us Barnes tirade was caught on tape by a camera positioned in the back seat of the officers car. Barnes’ alcohol level was at .12 which is over the Florida limit of .08, but his lawyers are arguing, as Barnes did in the video, that the officer did not have enough probable cause to arrest him.

But even if he gets off the hook for the drunken driving charge, there’s no court that can recant what he had to say in the back of that patrol car. And cops tend to hold grudges against people who call them racist, so Barnes might want to consider calling a limo the next time he gets a bit tipsy. And fans have been know to hold grudges as well, so be prepared for the boos to rain down the next time he takes the field in that “hick town.”

Links:

[Jacksonville.com]: Arrest video shows Jaguars lineman blasting city, cops

Categories
College Basketball

OJ Mayo doesn’t give out his cell. He’ll call you.


You know those fluff pieces in newspapers that try to persuade you that an athlete’s reputation is undeserved and that he’s really a good guy? This isn’t one of those. If Lee Jenkins was trying to paint OJ Mayo in a good light, he absolutely fails in today’s New York Times article on the kid.

The article relates how a OJ Mayo came to sign with USC and it doesn’t exactly portray USC coach Tim Floyd in a flattering light either.


When Floyd answered the phone, he heard a teenager’s voice on the other end: “Coach, this is O. J. Mayo. I’d like to come to your school.”

Mayo had not been on an official campus visit. He had not seen the new arena, the Galen Center. He did not know anything about the current roster.

…
“I want to be different,” Floyd recalls Mayo telling him. “I want to leave a mark.”

Mayo’s mind was apparently made up. He was already looking ahead. “How many scholarships do we have for next year?” he asked.

Floyd stammered. “After this,” he said, “I guess we have three.”

Mayo went through the priority list in his mind. “Don’t worry about recruiting,” he said. “I’ll take care of it.”

Before Floyd hung up, he asked one more time for Mayo’s cellphone number. “No,” Mayo said. “I’ll call you.

Now this is after one of Mayo’s friends had visited Floyd earlier in the day and told him that OJ wanted to market himself before going to the NBA and that the reason OJ wanted to go to USC was because LA gave him the best possible platform for doing so.

Basketball phenoms today are too worried about becoming a global icon and marketing and shoe deals, all before they play a second of pro ball. Sure Michael Jordan is the most recognized athlete in the world but he played for the love of the game and then everything else (colognes, clothing, Hanes, Space Jam) followed. OJ Mayo is more worried about his endorsement deals than he is about the game.

Now every sycophant and parasite in his entourage will just tell him that we’re just hatin’ but you can make a lot of money and not come off as an arrogant punk.

By the way, OJ’s first visit to USC? There was a documentary film crew following him. Of course.

Links:
[New York Times]: High School Star O.J. Mayo Boosts U.S.C. Before He Arrives
[SC]: OJ Mayo’s last dunk video

Categories
Boston Red Sox

What, you couldn’t afford an infomercial?



Yours for the low, low
price of just $4,000.

Manny Ramirez is a strange character to say the least, so nothing should be too surprising at this point. Still, we never expected to see Man Ram’s mug on eBay next to an “AMAZING” grill, but we did and here’s what Ramirez has to say about his item up for bid.

Hi, I’m Manny Ramirez,” the listing said. “I bought this AMAZING grill for about $4,000 and I used it once. … But I never have the time to use it because I am always on the road. I would love to sell it and you will get an autographed ball signed by me. Enjoy it, Manny Ramirez.

Apparently word has gotten out about Manny’s sales pitch because the offer has gone from an opening bid of $3,000 to the $99,999,999 that it currently sits at after 210 bids. That’s a pretty sweet profit, even for a guy who has over $100 million in the bank. Obviously this has become a joke but nobody got a bigger laugh than Bidder 13 who offered $5,111.11 for the grill as a reminder of the $51.11 million the Sox offered to negotiate with Daisuke Matsuzaka.

I’m a businessman,” Ramirez said with a laugh. “I need the money.

Links:

[eBay]: Manny Ramirez: JENN-AIR Grill
[SeattlePI.com]: For sale: Grill, used, by Manny Ramirez

Categories
College Basketball

Does Kevin Durant already have a Nike shoe deal on the table?



Already sporting Nike

If there’s any question whether Kevin Durant is going to go pro this season, a phone call from Kobe might have sealed the deal. According to Chip Brown of the Dallas Morning News, Kobe Bryant called Nike on behalf of Nike to pitch a shoe deal between $30M to $50M. (“Hey Kevin, I can’t wait till you come into the league so I can elbow you in the head. Oh, by the way, Phil Knight wants to give you $50M. “)

Based on the NBA rookie salary scale, Durant will make about $11M-$12.5M his first three years in the league. And here comes Nike throwing three times that just for promoting a shoe. It’s not LeBron’s $90M deal but it’s almost a guarantee that he will leave Texas.

We think they should let players get their own shoe deals in college. This way they won’t have to leave early so that they risk injury in the college game. What would Rick Barnes rather have? A team wide shoe deal for the Longhorns or Kevin Durant for 3 more years?

Links:
[Dallas Morning News]: Sneaker deal could be deciding factor if Durant is one-and-done