Houston Texans

Passing on Vince Young is no longer the most embarrassing moment in Texans history

It was a sick scene on the field of Reliant Stadium when Dolphins’ quarterback Trent Green collapsed to the field after being kneed in the head by Texans’ defensive tackle Travis Johnson. Watching Green lay motionless for a second consecutive year after a brutal hit was scary, but the nausea was due to Johnson’s behavior following the contact.

Johnson stood over Green’s immobile body and taunted him because he felt that Green had taken a cheap shot for his knees. Truth is, it looks like he did. So, if Green had bounced up, we wouldn’t have seen any problem with Johnson going over and slapping him upside his head. That penalty would have been understandable. Instead, the Texans were hit with a 15-yard flag for classless and disgusting behavior.

Luckily, despite suffering a concussion, Green appears to be okay and he flew home with the team after being checked out at the hospital. Not that any of that seemed to matter to an irate Johnson after the game.

The bottom line is, it was a malicious hit. It was uncalled for,” Johnson said. “He’s like the scarecrow. He wants to get courage while I wasn’t looking, and hit me in my knee instead of trying to hit me in my head. God don’t like ugly, you know what I mean?

“My knee ain’t never hurt like it hurt today,” Johnson said. “If you want to hit me, hit me in my head, hit me in my chest, don’t hit me in my knee. I’m trying to eat just like everybody else. So, to hit me like that, that showed me what type of man he was.

What makes Johnson’s behavior even more revolting is that his own teammate, fellow defensive tackle Cedric Killings broke a vertebra in his neck just two weeks ago. He left the field on a stretcher, just like Green. The Texans should be utterly embarrassed that Johnson is a member of their organization after these outbursts.


[]: Green Sustains Concussion as Dolphins Remain Winless

Houston Texans

Dunta Robinson’s crib gets jacked by a pair of masked men

Have you seen this man?

Robbers sure are getting brazen these days and it appears that no athlete is safe anymore. First Pacman Jones got jacked, then Antoine Walker was getting robbed more than the local Kwik-E-Mart, after that Eddie Curry got rolled, then there was a shoot out at DeShawn Stevenson’s crib and now the pad of Houston Texans cornerback Dunta Robinson gets cleaned out.

Apparently, a couple of dudes in red bandanas and Los Angeles Dodgers caps broke into walked right into Robinson’s Texas home (a door was left unlocked) on Saturday evening and forced an occupant at gunpoint to lie in the floor before binding that person up with duct tape. Investigators aren’t spilling the beans on whether the occupant in question was Robinson or if he was even in the house at the time of the robbery.

While the one thug detained the occupant, the other jerk went a huntin’ fer valuables and ended up taking several pieces of Robinson’s bling before escaping into the night.

You know, if we had millions of dollars to our names then we’d defiantly be living in a virtual Fort Knox to protect our lifestyle. In fact, we’ve already discovered the perfect man to design our solitude of security should we ever scratch that magic lottery ticket.


[]: 2 sought in robbery at Texan Dunta Robinson’s home

Houston Texans

Ahman Green trades a house for a jersey


NFL players are some pretty superstitious guys; especially when it comes to the number on their jersey. There is always some desperate newcomer on a team who is willing to do anything to get his favorite number across his chest and “anything” usually involves a dollar sign and lots of zeros. Just ask the Houston Texans latest acquisition Ahman Green how expensive these kinds of transactions can be.

When Green ended up in Houston, he knew that if he wanted his #30 jersey he would have to ask Jason Simmons to give it up. And he also knew that there would be a price to pay, but he never thought that he would have to write a check for the down payment of a house in order to get it. We’ve heard of forking over cash, watches, cars, trips and tons of humiliation for a jersey but this is the first “house for jersey” swap we can remember. But Green didn’t hesitate for a second, especially after hearing that the house wasn’t for Simmons but was instead for a single parent.

He said what he wanted to do and I said: ‘Yeah I’m all on board. That’s easy,”‘ Green said. “Tell me where to write the check to. So instead of putting the money into his pocket, he’s going to put in into somebody else’s home, house and help them get their life started.

Guess it’s pretty easy to put up a down payment for a house when you’ve just signed a deal worth $23 million at the age of 30. But having cash in your pocket doesn’t make it any easier to nut up and go begging for some digits.

I did hear that in his tone,” Simmons said. “He was like: ‘Uh just wondering if’ and kind of stuttering a little bit. It was kind of different to hear. I didn’t recognize his voice just because it seemed like there was that apprehension.

Hey Jason, if you think you hear apprehension in his voice now, just wait until Green is repeatedly getting clobbered in the backfield behind that weak offensive line in Houston for a few weeks. Now, that’s when you’ll really start hearing the trepidation in his voice.


[]: Green Makes Unusual Deal for #30 in Houston

Houston Texans

Pick the final Texans cheerleader or rocket scientist

We don’t give the Texans much credit around here (would you?) but we think their latest promotion to pick the last Texans cheerleader is pretty damn smart. You can check out the four contestants (will the winner be treated as “last one in” by the other cheerleaders?) here. Based on the photos, we’re going to have to go with either Amanda or Kristen.

What that site is missing is a bio of the four girls trying out for the last spot. We need to know if any of them are rocket scientists. You think we’re kidding but one of the Texans cheerleaders, Summer Williams, is actually a rocket scientist. There is nothing hotter than a chick in hot pants shaking her pom poms while reciting Pi to the 100th digit. Smart girl. She probably could have picked better than Charley Casserly in last year’s draft.

NFL General

Carr and Casserly are gone but the stigma of stupidity remains

That’s a lot closer than
David Carr or Matt Schaub will
ever get to a championship.

The Houston Texans have official proven that they are the dumbest team in the NFL. Just one year after saying they were convinced David Carr was the quarterback who could take them to a Super Bowl, the Texans are trading Carr to Atlanta for Matt Schaub. The Falcons will also receive a second round-pick in the deal as well.

So, Houston passed on hometown hero Vince Young, Matt Leinart and Jay Cutler for Matt Schaub? And we’re not even mentioning that they could have also selected the multidimensional Reggie Bush. Schaub has been solid when given the opportunity to play in Atlanta, but the guy has only thrown 161 career passes with six touchdowns and six interceptions. Is that really worth skipping out on filling the stadium every home game with thousands of screaming Young fans?

It was as obvious before the draft as it was after the season that Carr was not the guy to lead a sewer dwelling franchise out of the scum and into Super Bowl supremacy. But former GM Charlie Casserly stuck around a bit too long and refused to lose face by giving up on the franchise’s first ever pick. And now the few fans that Houston has left will be forced to endure the torture of watching Mario Williams while knowing that Bush or Young could be bringing down the house with some sick footwork.

Williams will always be the Sam Bowie of the NFL and the Texans are now firmly entrenched as the Trailblazers of the league; minus the rapes, assaults and arrests of course.


[]: Texans near deal for Matt Schaub
[]: Falcons to trade QB Schaub to Texans

Houston Texans

It was only a matter of time

On Tuesday we told you about the Chicago furniture store that refunded up to $10,000 of your furniture purchase if the Bears shut out the Packers in week 1. Well, only a few days later Gallery Furniture is Houston is doing the same thing. If the Texans beat the Colts, everyone who bought more than $3,000 worth of furniture before Sunday will get their furniture for free.

Considering that the Colts are 14 point favorites, the odds of this happening are about 1000-1 so is there really a need to even insure this promotion? But hey, like we said, this is a great marketing ploy. If you’re gonna make a purchase anyway, isn’t having a chance to get it for free better than just watching the Texans lose? And Gallery Furniture gets a bunch of free advertising from bloggers like us. It’s genius really.

MLB General

The Full Count: Brawlin’ in Arlington

1. A good ol’ fashioned basebrawl: The Texas Rangers and LA Angels actually played yesterday, but few will remember this game for Texas’ 9-3 victory or 8-run third inning. That’s because in the bottom of the 9th with two outs, Adam Kennedy was hit by a pitch and charged the mound, setting off a benches-clearing brawl. Two Rangers had been hit the inning before, leading to the ejection of Angels manager Mike Scioscia. Rangers manager Buck Showalter was tossed after the fight as well as Kennedy. This type of thing can only be explained by watching, so watch it here.

2. Closing in: Watch out, St. Louis. Your usual huge lead in the NL Central division has all but disappeared this season. Now, after a defeat to the Reds, Cincy is closing in on the defending division champs. Yesterday they mauled the Cardinals at the New Busch by hitting 5 homers in a 7-2 win. Third baseman Edwin Encarnacion hit two big flys in the first three innings to give the Reds a 4-0 lead. That was followed by Adam Dunn (36), Ken Griffey Jr. (24), and Rich Aurilla (17) homeruns. Bronson Arroyo, who had been winless since June, finally emerged victorious by holding St. Louis to 1 earned run. Now the Reds are just 1.5 games out in the division, and they could possibly lower that to a half-game by tomorrow.

3. Reaching 70: Only one team in the National League, the Mets, has reached 70 wins. The AL East and West combined feature one 70-win team as well, the Yankees. Amazingly, the AL Central has three teams that have reached that plateau after the Twins did it last night. Minnesota beat up on Cleveland 7-2 last night for the win. Joe Mauer had 2 RBIs, Jason Bartlett went 4-4, and Michael Cuddyer drove in three runs to lead the team. Carlos Sliva got the win and is 4-1 with a 4.73 ERA since the All Star break, good considering his horrendous first half. Now Minnesota is just 1 game away from the Wild Card leading White Sox, who lost again last night to the pitiful Royals. The teams will play in a weekend series that will give one of them bragging rights in this tight race.

4. Cabrera’s day: Though Miguel Cabrera doesn’t really get mentioned among some of he elite hitters in the game, his all-around play over his short career has been truly extraordinary. Yesterday he led the Marlins to a surprising 15-4 crushing of the Los Angeles Dodgers, who had won 17 of 18 coming into the game. Cabrera hit two homers, his 19th and 20th on the season, while compiling 5 RBIs, 3 hits, and 3 runs. His performance raised his average to an outstanding .337, which ranks second in the NL. He also ranks second in on-base percentage and sixth in OPS. He is having the best of his 3 standout seasons, with career highs in each of the above percentage categories. Cabrera is truly a young stud, and incredibly is only 23. He is the leader of a young, surprising Marlins team that is only 8 games below .500 despite a minute payroll.

5. We’ll play anyone but Oakland: The Seattle Mariners have just slightly struggled against the A’s on the year. Make that mightily struggled. The team lost their 15th consecutive game against Oakland last night as they fell 4-0. That means Seattle is 55-49 against every team but the A’s and 1-15 against them this year. This is the longest streak since 1974 by any team against a divisional opponent, Elias Sports says. Dan Haren won and struck out 8 while the bullpen held their ground. Now Oakland, after sweeping the Mariners, has won 6 games in a row and 10 of 11 overall. Their streak is similar to the Dodgers’ but has received much less acclaim.

MLB General

The Full Count: Liriano hits the DL

1. Unlucky Liriano: The Twins just put 12-win ace Francisco Liriano on the 15-day DL. Liriano reported forearm stiffness and had his worst start of the season on Tuesday. He will be temporarily replaced in the rotation by another young stud, Matt Garza. In five Triple A starts Garza has reported a 1.89 ERA and .79 WHIP. So the second-place Twins might be one of the only teams in baseball that has the luxury of replacing one rookie ace with another. But the important thing for them is the severity of Liriano’s injury. Will he stay on the DL for more than 15 days? Let’s just hope he’s not another Kerry Wood or Mark Prior.

2. DeRosa sparks a DeRout: The list of former Braves performing well just keeps getting longer. The Rangers’ Mark DeRosa, who played his first seven seasons with Atlanta, has elevated himself to the level of best utility man in the game. Yesterday he led a 14-0 Rangers defeat of Oakland by hitting 2 three-run homeruns. His four hits upped his average to .327, good for 4th in the American League. DeRosa has played almost every position on the field, and he has excelled in all of them. Among the other Rangers to perform well yesterday, Carlos Lee had 4 hits, 4 runs, and his first homer in a Texas uniform. Texas is still 5.5 games back of Oakland for the West lead.

3. Shocked: The Tigers won Game 1 of their three game set against the Twins, but they dropped the second game on Tuesday. Then yesterday, the Tigers put themselves in the best position possible to win. They led the Twins 3-2 going into the eighth inning, with stud reliever Joel Zumaya in. But then Minnesota’s best hitter stepped up. Justin Morneau, who is having is somehow quiet yet monstrous season, hit his 30th homer to win the game for the Twins. Morneau, and all-around machine of a first baseman, is hitting .323 and is second in the AL with 101 RBIs. Even though teammate Joe Mauer has hit .369 and earned himself a Sports Illustrated cover, it is Morneau that is more valuable to the team. With the win the Twins passed Chicago and now lead the Wild Card race.

4. Back in town: In Mike Piazza’s second game back at Shea Stadium since leaving the Mets for San Diego, he showed fans once again why he will be a Hall of Fame catcher. Piazza hit two solo homeruns for the Padres, both off Pedro Martinez. He drew a curtain call after his first homerun, a rarity for a player on the road. But despite Piazza’s efforts, San Diego couldn’t stop the Mets. Jose Reyes stole his 48th base of the season and drove in a run. Reyes, though he has drawn criticism over the years for his somewhat low on-base percentage, has a career-high .350 OBP and contributes greatly in terms of runs scored (92, second in the MLB). Both teams are still in first place in their respective divisions.

5. Roundup: There were many more important happenings in the MLB yesterday. The Cardinals-Reds series had an exciting game that featured 7 homeruns by both teams. The Reds won on a Dan Ross walk-off two run shot. New York led Chicago 7-0 after six innings but barely inched by them 7-6. Bobby Abreu hit his first homerun in two months and is now hitting .412 as a Yankee. Back to the NL: the Astros crushed the Pirates 14-1, with 6 RBIs and two homers by Aubrey Huff. Starter Roy Oswalt also homered and picked up the win. Finally, the Dodgers lost at last, ending their 11-game winning streak.

Houston Texans

Casserly is out as Texans GM

Charley Casserly, the guy who drafted Mario Williams instead of Reggie Bush with the #1 pick, resigned today as the GM of the Houston Texans. Casserly was widely ridiculed for picking Williams but Texans owner Bob McNair insists that Casserly was not fired and that he was pursuing a job in the NFL office.

There’s been speculation that the Mario Williams pick was largely orchestrated by head coach Gary Kubiak. So either Casserly feels that he didn’t have the input or perhaps he was indeed responsible for the Williams pick and wants to distance himself as quickly as possible. In any case, this is all based on our assumption (widely supported) that taking Mario Williams #1 was a stupid, stupid move.

Kubiak commented on the next GM:

This is a huge hire for our organization. There’s a lot of good things going on. The key thing is we have to do our homework and make sure they keep heading in that direction. This person has to be a great fit for what’s happening right now with the Houston Texans.

So someone with Roto Rooter on their resume… cause that franchise is going down the toilet. Zing!

[Yahoo]: Casserly resigns as Texans GM

Houston Texans

Texans take Sam Bowie with the first pick

We’re not sure this requires another post but we are scratching our heads over this pick. The Texans arguably already have their franchise QB and RB in David Carr and Domanick Davis. It’s a stretch but we can see the argument. But why not trade the #1 pick? They could’ve at least gotten an extra pick out of this. Instead, they get nothing but ridicule.

Like Texans execs have been doing for the past 48 hours, we’re going drinking now.