Categories
Tennessee Titans

Pacman takes out ad to apologize for slamming a stripper’s head into the stage, and the drugs, and..


We’re not sure exactly what NFL Commissioner Roger Goddell said to Pacman Jones, other than “see ya next year,” but whatever it was, it is having a serious effect on the Pacman. First Jones came out and conducted a fairly honest interview with Primetime, then he announced that he’s going back to school during his suspension and now he’s taking out full page ads to publicly apologize. Damn, we use to think Pacman was so hard.

In the April 20 edition of The Tennessean of Nashville, Jones said that his life is all jacked up and then told his family and friends that he’ll do whatever it takes to regain their trust.

In the past few weeks, I have learned a lifetime of lessons. First and foremost, I need to reorganize my priorities. As a grown man and a new father, my first priority is my daughter and family. Second, I have to not only meet the expectations of my coaches, teammates and fans, but exceed them in every respect, on and off the field. The first step in meeting these goals is for me to stop making the poor choices that have put me in this position.

So, does this mean there will be no more strip clubs? No more shootings? No more drugs? No more car chases? And most importantly no more biting police officers?

Hopefully for Pacman he’s getting his life on track, but we’re pretty bummed that the one man police blotter won’t be entertaining us weekly with his circus side show act. But we still have Chris Henry and Tank Johnson to keep things interesting during the off season, and while they are no Pacman, that’s not too shabby at all.

The complete Pacman ad after the jump.

Links:

[Tennessean.com]: Pacman’s ad promises he’ll win back trust

Categories
San Francisco Giants

Joe Buck paints a picture of Bond’s record breaker

Joe Buck was on the Dan Patrick Show earlier this week and, inevitably, the topic of Barry Bonds and his 756th homer surfaced. Patrick lobbed Buck a potential long ball when he asked the distinctly recognizable voice of the MLB to describe exactly how he would make the call if he were on the mic when Bonds passed Hank Aaron for the all-time home run record.

For some reason, we don’t think that Buck is real thrilled about the idea of Bonds moving up the ladder. Perhaps it’s the way Buck had Bonds foul a pair of balls off his stick before he finally goes yard. Or maybe it was the less than enthusiastic “Yea, Barry Bonds is the new home run king.” You can just imagine the uninterested Buck looking through the funny pages of the day’s paper and sipping on a cup of coffee while he makes the call.

Categories
NBA General

Bill Simmons finally gets his proof

Bill Simmons (and basically everyone else) believes that the 1985 NBA draft lottery was fixed to give the NY Knicks the first pick in the draft, and thus Patrick Ewing. Well, proof (sorta) comes from YouTube video of the draft (copyright law? what copyright law?). By the way, who is keeping these videos of NBA drafts from 20 years ago?

Here’s what you have to look out for in the following video:

4:50 – The E&Y accountant who, we’ve just been told, has no idea which envelope contains which logos, while putting them in the drum, bangs one (just one) envelope against the side, thus creating a crease.

5:29 – David Stern pretends to randomly select an envelope by throwing around a few. But notice very carefully that the one he chooses has a crease in the corner. Yes folks, the envelope containing the Knicks logo.

Holy crap! It’s not definitive proof but it’s pretty good evidence don’t you think? Now, if only we had some audio of David Stern telling Dick Bavetta to make sure the Lakers beat the Kings in game 6 of the 2002 playoffs…

Categories
General Sports

How can a sportswriter get laid? Slip her a mickey


You know, it’s hard out there for a sportswriter. All the ladies throw themselves at professional athletes while you are left with the dregs after last call. Plus, by an large, sportswriters are ugly as hell or fat from the free buffets. So what’s a poor middle-aged balding sports writer in the UK supposed to do?


A journalist invited three young women to his home and drugged their chocolate dessert in the hope of sex, Croydon Crown Court heard.

The Daily Telegraph writer Christopher Davies, 58, laced their chocolate desserts with diazepam, a type of Valium, it was claimed.

[One guest] claims Mr Davies entered her bedroom wearing a t-shirt and underpants and started stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head.

Davies is claiming that he didn’t intentionally do it and the drugs must have accidentally dropped in the pudding while he was preparing it. Right. And he accidentally lost his pants and started stroking the guest’s hair when trying to tuck her in.

Hey listen, if all she suffered was some kidding and stroking of the hair, she is pretty lucky. This could have turned out with Davies yelling down to her, “It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.”

Links:
[Steroid Nation]: UK bad boy sportswriter uses performance enhancing drugs to bury his lead
[Metro UK]: Journalist ‘drugged’ guests’ pudding

Categories
MLB General

2007 MLB franchise valuations


A lot was made recently about about Bud Selig’s $14.5M salary in 2006 but when you look at the financial numbers for baseball as a whole, he deserved every penny. (Holy crap we just defended Bud Selig.)

Forbes published their annual “Business of Baseball” feature and despite everything, MLB is doing pretty damn good for themselves. The total valuation for all baseball teams went up $1.6B to $12.9B, a gain of 15%. Meanwhile, no team lost value last year — even the Nationals went up $7M in value.

Leading the way as usual are the New York Yankees, valued at $1.2B, adding $174M in value. Curiously enough, the Yankees were the only team that posted an operating loss last year (-$25M).

There’s a huge difference between the Yankees and everyone else though. Second on the list are the Mets who leapfrogged the Red Sox and are now valued at $736M. Want to buy the Red Sox but don’t have $724M lying around? Don’t worry, the Florida Marlins can be had for a cheap $244M.

The complete list of MLB franchises and their 2007 valuations after the jump.

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: See NY? This is what happens when you don’t boo A-Rod



Boo me now, bitches!

1. Who’s Booing Now?: Alex Rodriguez getting booed at home was not a newsworthy event last year. But this season, he’s been the only reason the Yankees aren’t in last place. A-Rod has been absolutely sensational to say the least, and he continued on Thursday with a walk-off three-run homer. The blast was his 10th of the year; he has 26 RBIs and leads the majors in almost every major category. Rodriguez’s game-winner simply put an exclamation point on an already impressive comeback by New York. The Yanks were down 6-2 to start the ninth, but Josh Phelps hit a solo homer, then Derek Jeter and Bobby Abreu each hit RBI singles. A-Rod’s shot won the game, sent the Yanks to second place, and ruined Joe Borowski’s ERA.

2. MVP vs. LVP: Another player who has proved invaluable to his team this year is Cubs starter Rich Hill. While Chicago stands at a mediocre 6-9, they would be even worse if it wasn’t for Hill, who has won half their games. He pitched 8 innings against the Braves, allowing no runs to bring his ERA down to 0.41. The Braves’ starter, Mark Redman, gave a much better effort than his first two starts of the year, but was not supported at all by the offense. Redman is now 0-3 on the year, accountable for the majority of the Braves’ 5 losses. Hill seems like he’s an All Star selection right now, while Redman could be demoted from the rotation unless he improves.

3. Manny’s Back: Many stars have struggled this year, and Manny Ramirez was one of them. The slugger had no homeruns in the team’s first 13 games, and was hitting under .200. But last night his first homer was huge for the Red Sox. The Blue Jays were up 3-1 entering the eighth inning, when Manny launched a two-run shot to tie the game. Then the Sox scored two more runs in the ninth, and Jonathan Papelbon sealed the deal for his fourth save. Boston is now 9-5, good for the division lead. But that all could change when they face the Yankees at Fenway for a three-game set this weekend.

Player of the Day: Rich Hill, Cubs: 8 innings, 9 runs, 7 strikeouts in a 3-0 win over Atlanta.

Walk Off: Here are the division leaders right now: Boston, Minnesota, Oakland, New York, Milwaukee, and Los Angeles. Of those, five have been perennial contenders the last few years. But how is Milwaukee so good? They were a sleeper pick to start the year, but do they have any potential to continue their success? The answer lies in their pitching. In six of their nine wins, the Brewers have allowed 3 runs or less. Francisco Cordero hasn’t given up a run in 5 saves, but beyond that, their pitchers have simply been lucky and/or inconsistent. Chris Capuano hasn’t made it out of the fifth inning but is 2-0. Jeff Suppan has been good but not dominant, while Ben Sheets and Doug Davis have only been good one out of their three starts. Of course Sheets has ace potential, but the rest of the rotation seems mediocre. I don’t think this team will last–their above average hitting will regress as well. I still think St. Louis is the team to beat in the division, even though they’re in last right now. If they can’t do it, Houston will take advantage and win the division.

Categories
Satire

Odds and Ends: The funniest sportscenter spoof ever

We were all set to lead off Odds and Ends with a story about Joe Thomas skipping the NFL Draft to go fishing with his dad but then a reader sent us this video of an ESPN Sportscenter spoof that has us peeing our pants. It is almost perfect. You have to watch it twice to read the ticker at the bottom but it’s totally worth it.

(Hat Tip: The Big Lead)

In other news…

[WBRS Sports]: Hockey + Cheerleaders + Sex + Lawsuit + Threeway + “more fuckable” – Pics = 9.0

[Detroit Free Press]: Look out Flip Murray, they shootin!

[Encarta]: Bill Nye the Science Guy’s fascinating explanation of the Gyroball

[Battle of the Surfaces]: Exactly what nobody was dying to see

[Star-Telegram]: Moose Johnston’s wife is tough as nails

[Big Show Baseball]: A-Rod is off to such a good start that Yankees fans are even including him in their best of all time lists

And finally, our quote of the day comes from Phoenix Coyotes CEO Jeff Shumway:


Players will say they want to be in Phoenix… That means the weather is good, the golf is good … What they mean is they want to retire in Phoenix. What we need are guys who want to play hockey in Phoenix.

Categories
Tennessee Titans

Vince Young ain’t afraid of no curse

Vince Young is one of the hottest young commodities in the NFL and on Wednesday he appeared on Jimmy Kimmel’s show and discussed several important topics.

1. The Madden Jinx

2. The Rose Bowl

3. Getting shafted by Houston

4. Money, money, money

5. Rapping (don’t worry Ron Artest, your side job is safe)

Oddly enough, Pee Wee Herman somehow ended up on the same couch with the Longhorn legend which means that little perv got top billing. Now we see why Kimmel is stuck coming on at 1:00 in the morning.

Categories
NFL General

Eddie George returns to stardom, kinda

There has been a ton o’ talk about the Madden curse with Vince Young grabbing the cover. Well, here’s a story that shows there can be life after Madden.

Former NFL running back Eddie George had his pro career virtually ended when he became the first victim of the Madden jinx, but he’s now prepared to take on a new role as a reality show douche on TV One’s newest program called “I Married a Baller.” If you can’t tell from the title of the show, George isn’t the star in the show; that distinction goes to his wife Tamara A. Johnson-George, aka “Taj” from the R&B group SWV, aka “Sisters With Voices.” But don’t expect to see the alcohol fueled tirades that accompany most crappy reality shows because the Georges appear to actually be a normal, adjusted, happy couple. Well, there go the ratings.

Unfortunately, everyone isn’t going to have the pleasure of watching the couple as they “get on each other’s nerves occasionally, rely on family and friends, and come across as loving parents to their children” because the alternative to BET, TV One, is only available in central Ohio on Time Warner. So, don’t delay, contact your local cable operator today and tell them that you want your TV One. George seems to enjoy watching himself on the tube and you will too.

You just see how precious and blessed you are to have your kids and your wife and the things you do have,” George said. “Watching on television, you’re like ‘You know what, man? I’m an all right guy.’

Links:

[The Columbus Dispatch]: New show stars wife of gridder, by George

Categories
Atlanta Falcons

Michael Vick is a cheap bastard


It’s all over the newsfeeds today: Michael Vick is donating $10k to families of the victims of his alumni, Virginia Tech. If Vick thought this was good publicity, he is wrong. Remember, this is a guy who signed a $130M contract and is the highest paid player in NFL history. And he can only muster up 10k? With wonderful gestures such as the Nationals donning VT caps and Curtis Granderson’s tribute to “his biggest fan”, a VT student killed on Monday, Vick’s piddly donation seems shallow and lacking.

Of course, in moments like this, I always wonder if *I* am the dick, so I got Flash Warner‘s take on this as well:

Sportscolumn: Did you see Michael Vick is donating $10k to assist families of the VT tragedy?
Is it wrong that I think that’s cheap as hell?

The rest of this conversation after the jump.