Posted on Mon Aug 11, 2008 at 12:14:42 PM EST in College
More on: college football, Olympics, UFC, soccer, video (all tags)

We can't wait for the college football season to arrive, but it's not for the reasons you might think. Sure, we love the history-filled rivalries, the tailgating and the school pride, but more than anything, we love the cheerleaders. What? Did you expect us to say the option offense or something? Here's the latest preseason top 10 rankings for this year.

10. Alabama's Auburn University tops off the list at number 10. Six of this sexy squad's cheerleaders were named Who's Who Among Students in American Universities and Colleges.

9. Hailing from sunny California are the ladies of San Diego State. SD State is not just among the top hottest cheerleaders but they also took home third place in the 2008 College Cheerleading and Dance Team Nationals.

8. Reigning at number eight, are the Clemson Cheerleaders all the way from South Carolina.

7. Representing the home of Britney Spears and the Louisiana State Tigers are the LSU Cheerleaders at lucky number seven.

6. The Ohio State Cheerleaders made an appearance earlier this year at CBS and now they are making an appearance on the top ten list at number six.

5. Stirring up the fans and tipping off the top five are the Oregon State Cheerleaders.

4. Everything is bigger in Texas, especially the talent - at number four are the University of Texas Cheerleaders.

3. The recipients of 16 national titles, it's no wonder the University of Kentucky Cheerleaders are at number three.

2. Holding their own with 5 national title victories are the ladies from Kentucky's University of Louisville.

1. And the number one hottest cheerleaders are the USC Cheerleaders aka The Song Girls. These ladies bring good luck, cheers and songs to the devoted Trojan fans.

In other news...

[Sports Cucumber]: America officially no longer cares about men's gymnastics

[Gossip on Sports]: President Bush salutes an American flag, er, ass. Whatever

[YardBarker.com]: Any idea who won between Jon Fitch and Georges St. Pierre?

[The Beautiful Game]: Always keep your head on a swivel when watching soccer

[NYPost.com]: The Boss is set to rock the Super Bowl

[Denver Stiffs]: The hardest man to trade in the NBA?...

[The Spoiler]: Spain is soooo totally mature

[Tirico Suave]: Kobe gets funky while riding the pine

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: "The continuing adventures of Tony and Jess"

[StupidVideos.com]: A hockey player with no aim

[The World of Isaac]: It's not Erin Andrews, but we'll take it

[The Love of Sports]: Top 20 TD Celebrations

[YuppiePunk.org]: Dennis Rodman's hair suddenly doesn't look so bad

[YardBarker.com]: Can you name 10 RBs who make more money than Brian Westbrook? You got three minutes. Go!

And finally, here's a good way to impress your friends...and make them fear you.

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Posted on Mon Aug 04, 2008 at 10:00:03 AM EST in Other Sports
More on: Olympics, swimming, video, funny (all tags)

We've been known to sit on the couch for hours/days on end, stuffing our faces full of Doritos and washing them down with cases upon cases of Coors Light, but even our pathetic, flabby bodies could have pulled out a victory in this race.

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Posted on Mon Aug 04, 2008 at 09:51:35 AM EST in Other Sports
More on: NFL, Olympics, Vince Young, Reggie Bush, Chris Cooley, Larry Allen (all tags)

The Olympics are right around the corner, Friday to be exact, and we can't wait to see the red, white and blue go berserk on some foreigner asses. And while we're confident in Team USA, regardless of sport, we know America would have a definite edge over the competition in the individual sports if we used our biggest, strongest and fastest athletes available. In other words, we need to totally revamp the Olympic roster and use nothing but NFLers. Here's how things would look, according to NE Patriots Draft.

Fencing - Travis Henry
He's pretty good with his sword, if you know what I mean.

Sailing - Matt Birk
He's a Viking, so boats are right up his alley, plus he went to Harvard.

Sprint Events - Devin Hester
No pads, no defenders, give him the gold.

Long Distance Events - Kenyatta Walker
He's got Kenya in his name right?

Shotput/Discus - Vince Wilfork
Holds the state record in Florida for the Shot, throwing it 68 feet.

Wrestling - Stephen Neal
Two-time NCAA champ, beating Brock Lesnar his senior season.

Diving - Reggie Bush
Nobody flips like this guy, gotta work on the landing though.

Swimming - Mario Williams
Best Swim move in the league.

Synchronized Swimming - Peyton and Eli Manning
Just a fun mental image for you and the whole family.

Boxing - Tom Zbikowski
Duh.

Kayaking - Chris Cooley
No reason, just thought he was the only NFL'er that could make me watch Kayaking.

Weightlifting - Larry Allen Holy Mother of God.

Equestrian - Chris Williams
He's got the family ties.

Gymnastics - Martin and Bill Gramatica
Hamm's? Martin and Bill can jump! And Prance! About the right size too...

Cycling - Shawne Merriman
Lots of dopers to pick on, I'll chose Mr. Lights out today.

Archery - Tom Brady
Accuracy is his middle name.

Judo - Scott Peters
Yikes!

Badminton - Hines Ward
Koreans love Badminton.

Shooting - Marvin Harrison
Still too afraid to say anything.

Table-Tennis - Jacob Hester
White Running Backs can really play pong.

Links:
[NE Patriots Draft]: All-NFL Olympic Team

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Posted on Wed Jul 30, 2008 at 11:30:34 AM EST in Other Sports
More on: Olympics, Beijing, Fuwa, mascots (all tags)

If you thought the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers, Voltron or The Planeterers were some incredible teams then you'll appreciate the collaborative efforts of Fuwa; not to be mistaken with FUPA. In case you didn't know, Fuwa is a collection of five characters who will be the Official Mascots of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games. Frankly, we find these guys a little creepy, but we have no sense of culture, so what do we know. Let's get to know the little critters better.

Designed to express the playful qualities of five little children who form an intimate circle of friends, Fuwa also embody the natural characteristics of four of China's most popular animals -- the Fish, the Panda, the Tibetan Antelope, the Swallow -- and the Olympic Flame.

Each of Fuwa has a rhyming two-syllable name -- a traditional way of expressing affection for children in China. Beibei is the Fish, Jingjing is the Panda, Huanhuan is the Olympic Flame, Yingying is the Tibetan Antelope and Nini is the Swallow.

When you put their names together -- Bei Jing Huan Ying Ni -- they say "Welcome to Beijing," offering a warm invitation that reflects the mission of Fuwa as young ambassadors for the Olympic Games.

They might be intended to "carry a message of friendship and peace," but Beibei is standing there with a smile on her face, wearing a hat made of water while Huanhuan is burning to a crisp. That's just being a straight cold bitch where we come from. We guarantee none of the Top 10 Coolest Olympic Mascots would pull a stunt like that.

Cool Olympic Mascot #10. Howdy and Hidi
The polar bear siblings were the faces of the 1988 Calgary Winter Olympics. With both names expressing a feeling of welcome and brotherhood, they symbolized the warmth of Canadian hospitality.

Cool Olympic Mascot #9. Hodori
Tigers and marketing seem to go hand in hand and the animal was perfect for the 1988 Seoul Summer Olympics. Hodori was designed as good-natured tiger and portrayed the friendly and hospitable traditions of the Koreans.

Cool Olympic Mascot #8. Sam
With the Summer Olympics being held in Los Angeles in 1984, Walt Disney decided to design a mascot. His creation: Sam, a cartoon eagle who's not afraid of showing his true colours.

Cool Olympic Mascot #7. Vuchko
Despite looking a bit stubborn, Vuchko was a cheerful wolf who was the face of the 1984 Sarajevo Winter Olympics. The mascot helped to change the frightening image of the animal which was present in the region.

Cool Olympic Mascot #6. Waldi
The colourful dachshund was claimed to be the first official Olympic mascot at the 1972 Summer Games in Munich. Along with representing athletic qualities such as resistance, tenacity and agility, Waldi's colours also symbolized the joy of the international event.

Cool Olympic Mascot #5. Hare, Coyote and Bear
Keeping to the country's heritage, the trio stood for the 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympics' motto. The snowshoe hare, coyote and American black bear represented "Citius, Altius Fortius" (Faster, Higher and Stronger).

Cool Olympic Mascot #4. Cobi
For some, it can be difficult to figure out what exactly the 1992 Barcelona Summer Olympics mascot is. But the trick is to not overanalyze because Cobi is simply a dog in a suit.

Cool Olympic Mascot #3. Ollie, Syd and Millie
Whether it's the names or the animals, the trio was perfect for the 2000 Sydney Summer Olympics. The kookaburra, platypus and echidna symbolized the event, the host city and the new millennium.

Cool Olympic Mascot #2. Schneeman
Some would find it surprising to see one of the first mascots created to be ranked so high, but the snowman is definitely cooler than most. The 1976 Innsbruck Winter Olympics mascot stood for the "Games of Simplicity".

Cool Olympic Mascot #1. Izzy
One of the reasons this particular mascot for the 1996 Atlanta Summer Olympics is at the top of the list is because nobody knew what it was. That was the point; "Izzy" was an abstract fantasy figure derived from "What is it?".

Links:
[Beijing 2008]: The Official Mascots of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games
[InventorSpot.com]: The Top 10 Coolest Olympic Mascots

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Posted on Tue Jul 29, 2008 at 02:22:43 AM EST in Other Sports
More on: Olympics, hair, Ken Griffey Jr, video games, NFL, playoffs, Baron Davis, Erin Andrews, Kwame Brown, video, Odds and Ends (all tags)

The Olympics are rapidly approaching and the one question on everyone's mind is, "Will the Nigerian football team players cut off their sweet locks or what?"

Nigeria's Olympic football coach Samson Siasia has warned his players that he expects short hair and correct clothing for the Beijing Games, a federation spokesman said on Friday.

Siasia, known as a stickler for discipline, believes that his players are devoting too much time to their elaborate hairstyles, time which he believes could be better used in fine-tuning their performances.

And the coach goes as far as to claim that players with short hair are more aerodynamic and so find it easier to find their rhythm on the pitch.

So the hair makes all the difference, huh? Well, explain these athletes then.

In other news...

[Awful Announcing]: Jeff Brantley does not want to run into Ken Griffey Jr in a dark alley

[JoeSportsFan.com]: We still can't believe we actually beat Mr. X

[ESPN]: Best NFL playoff performances

[Athlebrities.com]: Baron Davis has a Shemagwhat?

[SportsByBrooks.com]: Erin Andrews' bed. Mmmmmmmm, Erin Andrews' bed

[Sportaphile.com]: Homophobic ad No. 1...

[BottomLineCom.com]: And homophobic ad No. 2

[Uncoached]: We heart New York

[Need4Sheed.com]: Optimistic about Kwame?!? Bwah-hahahahahahahaha!!

[UniqueDaily.com]: Another completely pointless record gets broken

[Tirico Suave]: Groundhog stew. Mmmmmmmmm, groundhog stew

[Yahoo! Sports]: Pat Riley is still a sucker for yellow

[Larry Brown Sports]: Would really expect anything less from Randy Moss' daughter?

[WagRankings.com]: The 21 hottest sports movie WAGs

[Dbacks.com]: Diamondbacks fans love their dogs

[BannedInHollywood.com]: Golden Bear goddess

And finally, friendship moves!

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Posted on Wed Jul 09, 2008 at 12:51:23 PM EST in MLB
More on: John Sterling, Yankees, NFL, Tom Brady, MMA, babes, Sonics, Michael Vick, Olympics, NBA, Alex Rodriguez, video, Odds and Ends (all tags)

If you think double-dipping is disgusting then what about finger-dipping? You know, when someone sticks their finger in something, sucks it clean and then walks away. Like Puck and the peanut butter back when The Real World was actually worth watching. Well, according to the New York Post, if you happen to work in the same stadium as Yankees radio announcer John Sterling then you might want to get a vomit bucket ready.

"Sterling has made a habit of walking over to the dessert table and dipping his finger into the ice cream barrel," one stadium worker told us, adding that the play-by-play vet has also used the same tablespoon to repeatedly take samples. During the Boston series, "He wandered over to the cake and pie section, broke off a piece of a cake slice, ate it and wiped his grimy hands on the linen tablecloth, leaving the remainder of the slice for someone else to eat - which indeed happened," our spy continued.

Ewwwww. Kid Rock and Tommy Lee won't even touch those sloppy seconds.

In other news...

[BostonSportz.com]: Even NFL coaches think Tom Brady is hot catch

[FightChat.com]: Need inspiration to become a MMA superstar? Well, here's the caliber of chicks you could bang

[NBA.com]: Its official! Suck on that Seattle!

[PerezHilton.com]: For once, we agree with Mr. Rainbow Bright

[BooshMagazine.com]: It's time to play everybody's favorite game: Legal or Olympic Jailbait!

[The Wall Street Journal]: The NBA mines New Delhi for talent

[FightChat.com]: 16 MMA knockouts in the blink of an eye

[Babble.com]: A-Rod loves him some strippers

[NFLJuice.com]: We like big butts and we cannot lie...

[Tirico Suave]: Go, go, Power Plaschke!

And finally, this is why you always, always, always lock up your lightsaber.

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Posted on Wed Jul 02, 2008 at 01:27:41 PM EST in MLB
More on: Chris Snyder, ouch, Diamondbacks, Olympics, Manny Pacquiao, Alex Rodriguez, MLB, UFC, video, John Daly, Odds and Ends (all tags)

Other than gasping, dropping to our knees, rolling around on the ground and muttering "uggggh" and "owwww" under our breath, we really don't know what else to say about this.

Catcher Chris Snyder left Monday night's game after getting hit by a foul tip in the groin area. About an hour before Tuesday's game the Diamondbacks put him on the 15-day disabled list with a left testicular fracture.

Snyder will undergo surgery on Wednesday with Melvin hoping his return is relatively soon.

"Hopefully looking at a 15-day period, where he is back after the All-Star break," Melvin said after the D-Backs 8-6 loss to the Brewers on Tuesday night.

Fractured testicle!? We didn't even know it was possible to fracture your nuts. Smash, yes. Crush, yes. Pulverize, yes. But fracture? Ugh, we're starting to get dizzy just talking about it.

In other news...

[The Beardown]: 20 decent reasons to watch the upcoming Olympics

[The Caveman Network]: Manny Pacquiao = Urijah Faber

[HotStoveNewYork.com]: Alex Rodriguez is secretly seeing a dude?!? Nevermind, it's just Madonna

[Lion in Oil]: Best. Ringtone. Ever.

[The Big Picture]: What's your favorite MLB lid?

[All Balls]: Best stars meet sports moments

[MMAChump.com]: Dana White is a big softy

[eBaumsWorld.com]: Cheerleader gets cold cocked by an errant pass

[Home Run Derby]: Mariah Carey, eat your heart out

[PartMule.com]: John Daly played beer, golf teed...huh?

And finally, Scott Van Pelt suddenly sounds like the smoothest voicemail pickup artist ever.

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Posted on Mon Jun 30, 2008 at 10:07:40 AM EST in Other Sports
More on: Tyson Gay, Olympics, homosexual, Christians, track (all tags)

Wondering about the results from the U.S. Olympic track trials over the weekend? Don't worry, you're not the only one, we've spent the past 72 hours playing GTA4 while the ol' ladies went to a bridal shower in Phoenix. Despite the three-day diet of Pizza Pockets and Miller High Life, it was a near perfect weekend. Anyways, if you're anything like us then you hit up your favorite Christian news site OneNewsNow.com to get the results and instantly spit coffee all over your monitor when reading the headlines:

Homosexual breaks Greene's US record in 100 at trials

Close call: Homosexual barely averts major flop in 100

Homosexual wins trials 100 in wind-aided 9.68 seconds

Homosexual runs wind-aided 9.68 seconds to make Olympics

Turns out, the "Homosexual" mentioned in the headlines is actually not homosexual at all; rather, he's Gay. Not gay, gay. Gay as in, Tyson Gay, American sprinter. Apparently, the tightwads at OneNewsNow.com have a filter that replaces the word "Gay" with "Homosexual" regardless of how the word is used. It might sound like a good idea, but it can actually just lead to more problems.

After the race, Homosexual and Dix looked at each other and slapped palms, then hugged.

Links:
[OneNewsNow.com]: Your News Right Now
[OneNewsNow.com]: Homosexual wins trials 100 in wind-aided 9.68 seconds

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Posted on Tue Jun 24, 2008 at 10:20:50 AM EST in NBA
More on: Olympics, basketball, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, Dwight Howard, Carlos Boozer, Jason Kidd, Chris Paul (all tags)

Team USA is still looking for that perfect combination of mad skillz and selflessness from the NBA's best ballers in attempt to erase years of frustration at the hands of its international competition. When the team travels to Beijing in a little over a month, they might be sporting the best roster they've had since the first or second "Dream Team" (although we all know that there is really only ONE Dream Team, the original Dream Team). On Monday, the official announcement was wade and here's the 12 guy's expected to resurrect the ghosts of Summer Olympics past.

Carmelo Anthony, Denver Nuggets
Carlos Boozer, Utah Jazz
Chris Bosh, Toronto Raptors
Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers
Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic
LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers
Jason Kidd, Dallas Mavericks
Chris Paul, New Orleans Hornets
Tayshaun Prince, Detroit Pistons
Michael Redd, Milwaukee Bucks
Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat
Deron Williams, Utah Jazz

There is no doubt the rest of the world has defiantly caught up with America in the b-ball department, but there isn't a country on the planet able to hang with this group of guards. And just imagine how motivated Bryant will be. The dream of grabbing a ring without the Diesel is over for now, but he can still lead his squad to a gold medal. Not a bad way to cap off a MVP season.

Links:
[ScoresReport.com]: Team USA roster announced

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Posted on Fri Jun 13, 2008 at 12:53:03 PM EST in Other Sports
More on: Marcus Vick, crime, Celtics, babes, Kobe Bryant, Sooners, NBA, Olympics, Phillies, John Clayton, reporter, video, Odds and Ends (all tags)

Marcus Vick was arrested early Thursday morning in Norfolk after taking police on a brief chase. Once the former Virginia Tech miscreant was captured, he was charged with driving under the influence and received citations for driving on the wrong side of the road, reckless driving, eluding police and driving on a suspended license before posting bond. And it all started over an argument with his ol' lady.

According to the police report, a uniformed bicycle patrol officer saw Vick and Cordon sitting in a vehicle in the 200 block on Granby Street, having an apparent altercation. When the officer approached and asked Vick for his license, Vick fled the scene at a high rate of speed, police spokesman Chris Amos said. A description of the vehicle was broadcast, and Vick was pulled over a few minutes later.

As always, Marcus Vick said it was just an accident.

In other news...

[SI.com]: You might hate the Celtics, but you gotta love their dancers

[The World of Isaac]: Stanley cups and babes go hand in hand

[The Love of Sports]: Mullet mania

[TiricoSuave.com]: Kobe will never be Jordan and that's that!

[Oklahoma Sooners Football Network]: That's weird, in Texas, a Sooner is a derogatory term

[Cuzoogle.com]: What, no Oliver Miller?

[SportsbyBrooks.com]: The Chinese are literally breeding thousands of Olympians

[The Fightins']: Another horrible team themed song

[YouTube]: Are you as disgusted with Game 4 of The Finals as this dude?

[Chili Dog Blog]: John Clayton Is A Weasel

And finally, try this excuse the next time you want a day off from work. Sounds insane, but this guy fell for it.

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