We’ll be the first to admit that when it comes to the sweet science of boxing, Bert Sugar we are not. However, you don’t have to be an expert to know the difference between aggressiveness and stupidity. This nimrod decided to exercise the latter.
Links:
[Late Rounds]: One of the Fastest Knockout in Boxing History
Everyone is talking about Britney Spears these days. And when we say “everyone,” we mean EVERYONE. Even if you live in a world of complete make-believe where CEO’s self combust, dead men walk the earth and people routinely fall for the ol’ rope-a-dope; Britney’s breakdown is still a subject of great concern.
We understand that everyone is getting sick and tired of watching those crappy Coors Light commercials where they interweave footage of press conferences with dopes drinking beer. After all, you can’t go a quarter without seeing Bill Parcells at least eight times. But don’t give up all hope on the campaign just yet. Turns out there’s a new version with Mike Tomlin making the rounds that will make you forget all about the horrible Jimmy Johnson hair pieces.
Links:
[Sportsocracy.org]: Mike Tomlin – Coors Light Parody
Minor league baseball is always trying to pack the stands with some sort of gimmick or promotion. It seems like the ideas just keep getting wackier and wackier with every passing season. Of course, if all the front office knuckleheads would just stick to the basics then attendance wouldn’t be a problem. You don’t need to give away bobble heads of players or put together expensive postgame firework shows. Nope, just sign up the Famous Chicken to make an appearance and watch the dolla, dolla bills come rolling in.
Its appearance at minor league games, on average, increased attendance by 26 percent.
That’s pretty good when you consider, as the firm [Plan B Branding] reveals, that the Chicken’s appearance only cost teams 22 cents per fan. It’s also pretty good when you consider that the Chicken is more than 30 years old.
My favorite business story with the Chicken involves the day long ago that the man inside the costume, Ted Giannoulas, negotiated an attendance deal with the Padres. The rule worked that he’d get a piece of every ticket above a certain number of expected fans for the night.
The Chicken brought some 30,000 more fans to the game and Giannoulas came home with a $40,000 payday. As the story goes, he spent all that money defending himself in a lawsuit against KGB radio, the station that in March 1974, first put him in a chicken suit as part of a promotional gimmick.
And if you can’t get the Famous Chicken to pay your park a visit then we’d like to suggest this lady as option number two.
Links:
[CNBC.com]: The Ex-San Diego Padre Chicken Still Rules!!
Roy Williams is a heck of a wide receiver, but no matter how many yards he accumulates or touchdowns he celebrates, his ball-snagging abilities are nothing compared to his knack for spittin’ sweet quotes. And this guy makes some insane catches. While this year wasn’t his finest campaign on the field, his appearances on the local sports talk radio shows were par none. So, here’s a nice sampling of Williams’ Orch Dork’s best work in 2007.
Cause he blamed everybody else. He blamed everybody else but himself. Like it’s (the receivers’) fault. In the West Coast system, my son can run the West Coast system and he’s only two.
Since you grew up in Texas, you’ve never had to shovel anything have you?
Maybe some cow manure or something.
What do you think he (Shaun Rogers) likes more playing football or eating?
I’d have to say football. You know they say the football is pigskin. He may eat the football.
So are you the skittish type? Like afraid of thunderstorms?
What? No. Not me. … I’m scared of people; some people can look scary. We had a wideout dinner Friday night at the MGM, which is pretty good at Bourbon Steak … and there’s a guy who walked in, had on all black. He had stringy hair that he parted from the middle … and I kept my eye on him the whole time.
On Joey Harrington:
I’ve always been a Joey fan — still am a Joey fan. I don’t think it was just Joey. I think it was guys in the locker room (who were) a little soft. Seeing what I see now, I don’t think guys really cared about winning. All they really cared about was (a Lions assistant) dropping their checks off Monday morning. That’s just the way I felt my first two years here. I think that was just the main problem.
What was that dance you did? You did like a shimmy, and your stomach was showing.
Yeah little shimmy little shake. Just a fat wide receiver in the NFL trying to make a play for his team.
Did you just call yourself a fat wide receiver?
Oh no question. I used to have a six-pack you know. I don’t know where that thing went.
It’s all that Pizza Hut bro.
(Laughs) No question, no question.
Links:
[Freep.com]: Best of Roy Williams Part One
[Freep.com]: Best of Roy Williams Part Two
[Freep.com]: Best of Roy Williams Part Three
If you thought that Janet Jackson’s nip slip was the most offensive moment the Super Bowl ever produced then you ain’t seen nothing yet. Obviously, you don’t remember the “Up With People” fiasco during SB XVI. Like with Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction a few years back, if there are small children in the room, cover their eyes and ears immediately.
Links:
[The Big Lead]: Worst. Super Bowl. Halftime. Ever.
We don’t know about you guys, but we had a Grandma who became addicted to NBA basketball late in life and we gotta admit, she kept us in stitches with her over enthusiasm and lack of knowledge. She’d scream things at the television like “Don’t let `em score” when the game was about 20 seconds in or “Run, run, run!” every time her team touched the ball. And if her squad didn’t come up on the winning side of things then it was obviously because “Those other fellars cheated.” Aww, we miss Maw-Maw. Luckily, we’ve got this old lady to remind us of the good ol’ days.
Thanks lady, you have no idea how much your comments like “C’mon defense. Do you know what defense is?,” and “If you blow a 31-14 lead at the half then you are not doing your job. No way,” mean to us.
Being a rookie sucks. You gotta bring in the doughnuts and coffee every morning, do the veterans bidding and, of course, humiliate yourself for the enjoyment of the team. Yup, being a rookie sucks. Luckily or unluckily, depending on how you view it, we, the fans, only see about one percent of the good stuff. If you think that getting taped to the goalpost is all that’s going on then you’re crazy. And thanks to Bugs and Cranks, we get to see the 2007 Phillies crop of rooks take their hazing in character. Enjoy.
Obviously, there’s no way around it, hazing totally sucks, but at least they weren’t on the East High School football team.
…
Court documents filed Thursday state that the 16-year-old held a gun to an 11-year-old boy’s head and to the head of another child and told them to clean a house. The teen also demanded that the 11-year-old perform a sexual act with him, according to court documents.
Prosecutors also state that the 16-year-old, on another occasion, held a gun to an 8-year-old boy’s head and told him to clean a room, then insisted the child perform a sexual act with him, which the younger boy refused to do. The 16-year-old then committed a sex act in front of the child, court documents state.
Links:
[Bugs and Cranks]: In 2007, Phillies rookies got hazed
[DesertNews.com]: Teen charged in East High hazing faces more charges involving kids
Humongous props to Ryan Parker Songs for putting together this awesome ditty about Isiah Thomas’ ineptitude. If you ask us, this song has everything necessary to become the next big sensation to sweep the nation, taking over radio stations from coast to coast. Now, we’re no music critics, but we have to admit we have an ear for these types of things. After all, we were listening to “Who Let The Dogs Out?” and “Mambo No. 5” for months before they became favorites in the hearts of all Americans. So, without further ado, we give to you “The Isiah Thomas 25 Year Rebuilding Plan”:
Or just a guy who’s had some rotten luck,
But now it’s clear he’s clinically crazy,
So I can say it’s obvious he sucks,Cause he says the Knicks are going to win a title,
And he’s going to leave a lasting legacy,
But he’s missing some components that are vital,
Like players who will play for more than me,Isiah must be suffering from some form of dyslexia,
That’s causing him to read the scoreboard wrong,
He must think New York is winning while they’re always getting crushed,
And his championship plan is going strong,
Spike Lee and Chris Rock can afford to waste their money,
But what about the average New York fan,
Everybody but James Dolan seems to think it isn’t funny,
While they’re watching the Isiah Thomas 25 year rebuilding plan,Isiah says he wants to leave a blueprint,
To show teams in the future how to play,
But one day our kids will ask us where the Knicks went,
And we’ll say Isiah took the team away,Now I won’t question who is on the court or starting,
Cause I’m quite sure I’ve already said enough,
To merit an ejection from the Garden,
Where free speech is all that’s getting stuffed,Isiah must be suffering from some form of dyslexia,
That’s causing him to read the scoreboard wrong,
He must think New York is winning while they’re always getting crushed,
And his championship plan is going strong,
Spike Lee and Chris Rock can afford to waste their money,
But what about the average New York fan,
Everybody but James Dolan seems to think it isn’t funny,
While they’re watching the Isiah Thomas 25 year rebuilding plan …
Links:
[Ryan Parker Songs]: The Isiah Thomas 25 Year Rebuilding Plan
Anybody who has ever played fantasy football knows that being a virtual GM can be downright expensive. Rookie owners often think they just have to throw in their share of the pot and that’s that, but the grizzled veterans of the game know there is a ton of overhead associated with being a competitive fantasy franchise. Thankfully there are the good people at Frist National Bank.
