We here at SportsColumn absolutely abhor political correctness. So, obviously, we’re thrilled to be heading out to the ballpark tonight to take in a few innings of minor league baseball on Politically Incorrect Night. Don’t worry, don’t worry; the oh-so-annoying Bill Maher is not scheduled to be in attendance to see the Lowell Spinners. Sigh of relief
Thur, July 24th @ LeLacheur Park – Politically Incorrect Night
– The stadium will have `men only’ entrances to the game because men are obviously the superior creatures
– The first 250 women to attend the game will be given Lowell Spinners potholders so that they can properly cook dinner for their husbands
– There will be designated napping areas around the park available for all senior citizens to `rest their eyes’ because old people get tired quickly
– Fans are encouraged to drive to the game separately and will be given complimentary gas cards in an effort to use up as much gas as possible
– Cars will be needlessly driven between innings as a tribute to gas guzzlers
Pretty cool, huh. Wasting gas, putting women in check and watching baseball, it just doesn’t get any better than that! Certainly beats the heck out of Wednesday night’s theme.
Wed, July 23rd @ LeLacheur Park – Politically Correct Night
– Gender neutral terms will be used, ie: `first baseperson’ instead of `first baseman’, `batperson’ instead of `batboy’
– Non-demeaning terms will be used as well, ie: `vertically-challenged stop’ instead of ‘shortstop’
– Players that commit an error will not be named in an effort to make sure their feelings don’t get hurt (This one would help Lugo out!)
– There will be no specific `Fan Of The Game.’ Everyone that attends will be recognized as a `fan of the game’
– Fans will be encouraged to `Go Green’ by recycling while at the park, and carpooling or using public transportation to get to the game
We’re curious as to how they referred to the term stealing home.
Links:
[SoxAddict.org]: The Lowell Spinners go PC and Non-PC
[LowellSpinners.com]: Spinners Get Politically Correct, Incorrect This Week