Categories
Denver Broncos

So that’s what kickers do while real football players are practicing


Ever wonder why Jason Elam is always able to calmly bang out 50-yarders for Denver without breaking a sweat? Well, graduating from the Air Force Academy, serving a tour of duty in Afghanistan and then joining a special operations squad has a way of calming your nerves in everyday situations. At least it did for Riley Covington, the main character of Elam’s new literary fiction novel Monday Night Jihad.

Covington is a military man who was drafted by the fictitious Colorado Mustangs, but must give up his professional football career in order to help put an end to terrorism overseas before it reaches America. Elam’s first attempt at becoming an author entwines pigskin, religion and covert military operations.

Probably the toughest part of the book for Elam was his eventual decision to not make the strapping, Captain America badass a kicker; instead opting to form Covington into a manlier linebacker.

I couldn’t make the hero a kicker. It had to be plausible,” Elam said.

As for what is more daunting, a last-second kick in front of a raucous crowd or reading a book review, Elam said that was simple — the kick.

“At least you know you’re not going to have chicken wings and snowballs thrown at you if they don’t like your book,” he said with a grin.

Links:

[CBS4Denver.com]: Novel Idea: Elam Mixes Football, Terrorism, Spying

Categories
Detroit Pistons

Around the Rim: Now who’s the best in the East?


1. Pistons pack pop for trip to Boston
The Celtics took their first real test of the season on Wednesday, falling a few points shy of a passing grade and a win. The Pistons escaped Boston with a two-point victory, 87-85, thanks to a pair of last-second Chauncey Billups free throws. Mr. Big Shot finished with game-highs of 28 points and eight assists as Detroit’s starting five scored all but 14 of the team’s points. Still, that’s nine more points than Boston got from their bench that shot two-for-nine in a combined 52 minutes of work. Kevin Garnett (26 pts, 12 reb) and Ray Allen (24 pts) took care of business, but the third piece of the triforce, Paul Pierce, shot a pathetic five-of-16 for 11 points. Boston proved they aren’t where they need to be yet and despite their 20-3 overall record, the Bad Boys are still the elite out East.

2. Too little, too late

Things didn’t look good for the Suns after the first quarter of their game against Dallas. With 12 minutes in the books, Phoenix was staring up from a 17-point hole. By the middle of the fourth quarter it wasn’t much better as the Mavericks held a 14-point advantage, but that’s when the Suns turned on the burners, using a 23-12 run over the final 6:56 to get within one Steve Nash 3-point air-ball from forcing overtime. Dirk Nowitzki led all scorers with 31 in the 108-105 shootout, giving the Mavericks their fourth consecutive win. The Suns still hold a half-game advantage over Dallas in the standings and Nash further padded his assists per game lead by handing out 18 dimes to go with his 21 points.

3. End of an era
Miami lost again on Wednesday, this time to Atlanta, but that’s nothing new. The real story of the game was the torn patellar tendon in Alonzo Mourning’s right knee; an injury that will most likely end the career of the 15-year vet. Mourning is a seven-time All-Star, a two-time defensive player of the year and ranks 10th all-time in career blocks. You never want to see a career end on an injury and you really never want to see a career end on a stretcher, which was the original means of transportation to get the big fella and his bum wheel off the court following the injury. But like the rest of his life, Zo was going to do things his way.

That’s not the way I envisioned myself walking off the court for the last time in my career,” he said. “I’ve been through so much in my life. If I had to crawl off the court I would have. Nobody was going to push me off on a stretcher off the court. That wasn’t going to happen.

Wednesday’s Player of the Day: Steve Nash @ Dallas 37 min, 21 pts (FG: 9-15, 3FG: 2-3, FT: 1-2), 3 reb, 18 ast, 1 stl

Thursday’s Game to Watch: Los Angeles Lakers (15-9) @ Cleveland (11-15)
We could sit here and cram records down your throats or talk about bench depth, but we all know why this game gets top billing for the night, it’s LeBron James and Kobe Bryant. The two are sitting at No. 1 and No. 2 in the league in scoring with LBJ scoring 29.6 a night and the Mamba dumping in 26.8 per contest. And for a little more parody, both are also leading their crews in assists and steals. We know that these teams have a ton of work to do if they want to sniff the NBA Finals this year, but, in late December, we don’t really care about teamwork. Until summer rolls around, we’ll take a showdown between a pair of one-man-bands any day of the week.

Buzzer Beater: Even a little blurry, this is one of the sickest moves you’ll ever see by someone not named Skip To My Lou.

Categories
New England Patriots

No one compares to the Pats for Pat Noone, not even Mrs. Noone


We all love to say that we’re our favorite team’s No. 1 fan. Some of us could even make a legitimate case to receive such an award. But in the end, we all pale in comparison to the one, the only, the undeniable king of extreme, New England Patriots superfan Pat Noone.

Consider this: For more than 30 years, Noone has been driving to games at Foxborough from his home in – wait for it – Pennsylvania. The trip from the Poconos typically takes 5 1/2 hours, but in bad weather, Noone, an executive at the DG Yuengling & Son Brewery, can be on the road for up to 10 hours – and that’s one way. But, wait, there’s more. Noone’s wedding ring has a Patriots logo on it, and he’s installed a 1,200-pound wooden bear wearing a Pats jersey in his front yard. The house he shares with his long-suffering wife has a replica of the Pats locker room, and it even includes a urinal.

Okay, so maybe it’s a bit overboard, but Mr. Noone is still the coolest guy on the planet. C’mon, how many of you guys out there would love to have the balls to say something like this to your potential wife.

Q. Being recognized like this must be a treat

A. I’m ecstatic and grateful. It’s one of the highlights of my life.

Q. Don’t let your wife hear you say that.

A. Oh, she’ll understand. When we got married, I put a stipulation on it. I told her, ‘The Pats are No. 1 and you’ll be No. 2.’ I told her if she can accept those terms, great, and if not, I’ll understand and we can go along just being friends.

…

I told her about training camp and the draft. . . I told her she could be No. 1 for the month of May.

And she still said yes?! We stand in awe Mr. Noone, we stand in awe.

Links:

[Boston.com]: How big a fan? Patriots are No. 1 in his life, his wife No. 2.

Categories
San Antonio Spurs

Tony Parker sues over his alleged `And-1′ opportunity


It didn’t long for the rumor bug to start biting one of sports/Hollywood’s hottest couples and, on Wednesday, the duo started biting back.

San Antonio Spurs point guard Tony Parker is suing X17online.com for publishing stories that he had an affair with a French model. Oh-la-la! Parker claims there was a bunch of “false and defamatory” statements written by the site about himself and superbabe wife Eva Longoria and now he wants a cool $40 million for compensation. OH-LA-LA!

This is false. It never happened. And X17 had to know that the story was false, or, at the very least, it had to have entertained serious doubts about the credibility of its supposed source,” the lawsuit said.

The lawsuit also alleged that X17 never contacted Parker, Longoria or their representatives before running the stories, and refused to retract them after being told the claims were false.

An after-hour call to X17’s Beverly Hills office was not immediately returned.

Last week, the Web site posted a story that said the model Alexandra Paressant told X17 that she had a two-month affair with Parker. The story said Paressant told X17 she attended Parker’s wedding last summer, where the French soccer star Thierry Henry introduced her to the basketball star.

“No one from X17 attempted to contact Mr. Henry, who … would have told them in no uncertain terms that this woman was not at the wedding,” the lawsuit said, adding that Parker has never met anyone named Alexandra Paressant.

“If this woman exists, he has no way of knowing whether she is one of the many fans who have, from time to time, managed to obtain his cell phone number and called or left messages or who may have engaged him in conversation.

Now, we’re not rich or famous so we don’t know the exact protocol for when celebrity marriages turn into celebrity adultery, but we’re guessing it should take at least a year for the shine to tarnish on a hottie like Longoria. And if you’re Parker, then you have to trade up, right? Don’t get us wrong, Paressant is smoking hot, but until she starts making $200,000 per episode of Desperate Housewives then she’s ain’t got jack on the current lil’ lady.

And anyways, what ever happened to taking something straight from the horse’s mouth? What, we don’t trust our celebrities anymore??

Parker and Longoria defended their marriage last week.

“I love my wife,” Parker said in a statement from Longoria’s spokeswoman, Liza Anderson. “She’s the best thing in my life, and I have never been happier.”

“Tony has been nothing short of the perfect husband,” said Longoria.

Links:

[CBS2.com]: Tony Parker Sues X17 Over Rumored Affair

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Like Nick Lachey, Terrell Owens tells Jessica Simpson to get lost


If you thought Tony Romo was disappointed in his poor performance in front of his honey, then just wait until you hear how disappointed his teammates were. As if the Cowboys hadn’t already begun to eat their own when camera crews started broadcasting reactions to Roy Williams `horse-collar’ suspension, now we got Terrell Owens telling Jessica Simpson to beat it.

Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite – in this locker room or in Texas Stadium,” Owens said Wednesday.

The Cowboys lost 10-6 to the Philadelphia Eagles and Romo had what was statistically the worst game of his career, all while Simpson sat in a luxury box wearing a pink No. 9 jersey she proudly showed off for television cameras.

The problem for her is, Romo’s previous worst game came last December at home to the Eagles when then-girlfriend Carrie Underwood was in attendance.

“With everything that has happened, obviously with the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel she has taken his focus away,” Owens said, echoing the chatter on sports-talk radio and blogs. “Other than that, she was high on my list until last week.

“Oh, I got a message for her when we make the playoffs. Just stay tuned.

All this Jessica Simpson stuff has gotten out of hand. Girlfriends and wives are in the stands every game and we’re not slamming other players’ pitiful contributions to the fact their woman was in the bleachers. Romo stunk it up and that’s the end of the story. If Jessica doesn’t show up to the next game and Romo sucks even worse, is everyone going to start clamoring for her return a luxury box?

We’re just saying that we should keep the incidents separated. Why do we have to play connect the dots with everything that happens in sports? Let’s just keep our Tony Romo’s bad game insults over here and our Jessica Simpson’s big boobs and horse face insults over there and call it a day.

Links:

[WJZ.com]: T.O. To Jessica Simpson: Stay Away

Categories
Charlotte Bobcats

Around the Rim: Don’t call it a comeback


1. Master of the obvious
Michael Jordan took the court yesterday, practicing with his Charlotte Bobcats in an attempt to motivate them toward a better record; hopefully, a much better record. The Cats have lost 10 of their last 12 games, earning them an 8-14 overall record. While his game might be a bit rusty from the recent years spent as a front office fat-cat, M.J.’s ability to evaluate talent and overall understanding of the game has never been more on point.

I also told them yesterday that on this team we have no All-Stars — none,” Jordan said.

What’s next? Are you going to tell them that water is wet?

2. Lakers bully the Bulls

How bad are the Bulls? Turns out they’re so bad Kobe Bryant can shoot seven-of-19 from the field and the Lakers still roll to easy 12-point victory in Chicago. As Charles Barkley would say, Michael Jordan must be rolling over in his grave. Bryant finished with just 18 points on his poor shooting performance, but thanks to Sasha Vujacic’s team-high 19 points, Lamar Odom’s 17-point, 16-rebound explosion and Andrew Bynum’s double-double (12 pts, 10 reb), the Lakers won 103-91. Luol Deng showed up for Chicago, but that was about it. Ben Gordon had eight points, Ben Wallace grabbed five rebounds and the team committed a total of 18 turnovers as they fell to 8-14 overall, tying them with Charlotte for the conference’s second worst record.

3. Captain KAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAANNNN!!!!
Not surprisingly, the Clippers lost again last night, falling to the Raptors 80-77. The Clippers fell into some success for a couple of years there, but after getting ravaged by injuries they are back where they feel most comfortable, the NBA’s cellar. But you can’t blame Chris Kaman for the Clips recent struggles. Kaman grabbed his 20th double-double in 24 games this season on Tuesday, finishing with 12 points and 16 rebounds against Toronto. The seven-footer only managed to amass 16 double-dips last season. With fat averages of 18.3 points, 14.0 rebounds and 2.71 blocks per game, Kaman is well on his way to All-Star weekend even if the Clippers are headed nowhere fast.

Tuesday’s Player of the Day: John Salmons @ New Jersey 43 min, 31 pts (FG: 13-18, 3FG: 2-3, FT: 3-5), 4 reb, 7 ast, 3 stl

Wednesday’s Game to Watch: Phoenix (18-7) @ Dallas (17-9)
The old drinking buddies are together again! Meeting for the first time this season, Steve Nash returns to Big D for a clash against his former squad in Phoenix’s only trip to Dallas this year. The Suns are coming off a big win in San Antonio on Monday and will now try to defeat both Texas rivals on the same road trip for the first time since 1998. But it won’t be easy as Dallas is currently cruising, winning their last three (vs. NO, @ HOU, vs. ORL) and five of their previous six games. Josh Howard, not Dirk Nowitzki, has been making things roll for the Mavericks, averaging a team-high 21.8 points per game while pulling down a career-high 7.1 rebounds (2nd on the team).

Buzzer Beater: Don’t ask us why, but we try to keep up with Gilbert Arena’s blog entries. What stood out to us this week was Gilbo’s rather interesting Christmas gift selection.

We used to have a team gift exchange and they started getting mad at the gifts I was giving out. I gave Larry Hughes a bobblehead of me one year. I’ve also given out highlight tapes of myself. I give big, signed pictures of myself so they can look at me over the summer. You know, big ones that they can put on the wall or put it in the family room. That’s the kind of funny gifts I do. I don’t want to go out there and spend no money.

Of course, just a handful of paragraphs prior, the penny pinching Arenas mentioned how he went from making $4.2 million in Golden State to $65 million in Washington.

Categories
Atlanta Falcons

PETA wishes Michael Vick a rape-filled holiday season and a happy new year


If you thought that Shaquille O’Neal was one to hold a grudge, just get a load of PETA. While these people will walk to the ends of the earth for an abused llama, they got no problem trying to humiliate and disgrace anyone who dares anger them. But at least it is in the name of Christmas spirit.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has created a holiday e-card featuring former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, who is serving a 23-month federal sentence for a dogfighting conspiracy.

In the card, a cartoon version of Vick paces across a prison yard inside a snow globe as gun-toting guards and their barking dogs keep watch. He’s wearing an orange prison jumpsuit and football helmet and dragging a ball and chain.

When a visitor to PETA’s Web site shakes the snow globe by dragging a mouse, Vick bounces around and crashes against the globe’s dome as a commentator announces, “They got to the quarterback’s blind side there. He never had a chance.”

“We’re having a bit of fun, but prison is no lark and we’re hoping that Michael will use his time behind bars this holiday season to think about goodwill and peace for all,” PETA assistant director Dan Shannon said in a statement Tuesday.

Uh-huh Dan, we’re sure that’s exactly what you’re hoping for Mike.

In addition to Vick, PETA made cards for all the people on their naughty list this year, including “Cold-Blooded Colonel Sanders”, “Hairy-Kate and Trashley: the Olson Twins”, “Pelt Pusher Anna Wintour”, “Fur Hag Kate Moss” and “Hunter Dick Cheney.”

What? No “Why Didn’t You Die Roy Horn” Christmas card?

Links:

[MSNBC]: PETA creates holiday e-card featuring Vick

Categories
All Other Sports

Russian tennis princess gets robbed at gunpoint


If you thought that the curse of money ended with the NFL and the NBA then you’d be wrong. In fact, if you thought greedy, violent criminals and their get-rich-quick schemes were secluded to the United States then you’d be wrong. Turns out those wacky Russians are some aggressive, money-hungry scandals as well.

Tennis star Anna Chakvetadze was tied up by a group of masked men at gunpoint at her home in Russia on Tuesday, robbing her of about $106,000 in cash and around $200,000 in jewelry and other things around her home, according to her father.

Six assailants approached the home outside Moscow before dawn, tied up a maid in another building and forced her to hand over a remote control enabling them to enter the house through the garage, Dzhamal Chakvetadze told NTV television.

“They started to beat me, and I resisted. They hit me over the head with, I think, a pistol butt. It was dark,” he said, taking off his cap to show his bruised scalp. “They took out a pistol and told me my child was at home – reminded me – and they told me to hand everything over. I did.”

Police and Russia tennis coach Shamil Tarpishchev said the assailants tied up Chakvetadze and her parents, the ITAR-Tass news agency reported. Tarpishchev said the 20-year-old player, ranked No. 6, “tried to resist but it was useless,” ITAR-Tass reported.

Maybe we’re just poor sports bloggers who can’t conceive this type of stuff, but $106,000 in cash?!?! Don’t you need a special in-house safe like Scrooge McDuck had in his mansion if you’re holding that kind of paper? Unless you’re Tony Montana, then we say use a freakin’ bank.

Oh, and it’s probably not advised to advertise your wealth on your website. We understand that everyone already knows you’re loaded, but, c’mon, you’re just asking for trouble.

I’m sort of embarrassed to admit but I’m into jewelry too, Hehe…One of my weaknesses are sport cars. Ferrari in particular.

Links:

[WCBSTV.com]: Russian Tennis Star Tied Up, Robbed At Her Home

Categories
All Other Sports

You’ve got nacho cheese on your face, you big disgrace!

Say what you want, but sports just wouldn’t be the same without the fans. Sure, athletes make the whole thing go round, but without the average Joes filling the seats then what do you got? A whole lot of nothing, that’s what you got. So, we want to honor all you dedicated fans who pay for overpriced tickets because when the times get tough, you guys are as solid as a rock, unwavering in your support of the franchise. Of course, you’re probably too plastered to know they suck, but we’ll still take it.

Categories
Phoenix Suns

Around the Rim: Suns-Spurs showdown


1. Suns shine
The Suns received a measure of revenge against their nemesis on Monday by handing the Spurs their first home loss of the season, 100-95. While the win doesn’t erase the painful memories of being eliminated by San Antonio in last year’s playoffs, it was a huge confidence booster for a slumping Suns team. Phoenix lost three of four games before knocking off the champs, including embarrassing losses to Minnesota and Miami. Despite winning, the Suns had absolutely no answer for Tim Duncan who posted season-highs of 36 points and 17 rebounds as the Spurs played without Tony Parker for the third consecutive game. Steve Nash came up a pair of rebounds short of a triple double, scoring 10, dishing 10 and boarding eight. With the win, Phoenix is now just half a game behind San Antonio for the current title of “Best in the West.”

2. Disappearing act

Dwight Howard was unstoppable in the first quarter against Dallas, scoring 16 points in the opening period. Unfortunately, the game still had three more quarters left and Howard basically got shut out during the final 36 minutes while Dirk Nowitzki blew up when it mattered. After the quick start, Howard scored just six more points, finishing with 22 points and 13 rebounds while Nowitzki put up 11 of his game-high 31 points in the fourth, leading the Mavericks to a 111-108 victory in Dallas. Orlando started the season on fire, but has dramatically cooled of late, losing five of their last six games. However, the Magic can’t focus on the past with games against Houston, Utah and Boston staring them in the face.

3. Upset city
It had been five years since the Hawks beat the Jazz, but streaks are meant to be broken and last night it happened. Joe Johnson led the way offensively for Atlanta, scoring 26, and the Hawks ended their futility against Utah with a 116-111 victory. Carlos Boozer had 39 points and 12 rebounds in defeat as the Jazz dropped their seventh game in eight tries with the only win coming against Seattle. Atlanta, on the other hand, is making an early playoff push. There’s still a whole lotta season left for the Hawks to choke away a city’s hopes and dreams, but considering their history, any playoff push is a good playoff push. Currently, the Hawks are 12-12, good enough for the conference’s seventh best record.

Monday’s Player of the Day: Tim Duncan vs. Phoenix 36 min, 36 pts (FG: 15-25, FT: 6-8), 17 reb, 3 ast, 1 blk

Tuesday’s Game to Watch: Los Angeles Lakers (14-9) @ Chicago (8-13)
The Bulls are probably wishing they pulled the trigger on the trade for Kobe Bryant because their offense is one of the most anemic in the league. Averaging just 92.0 points per game, only Charlotte and New Jersey have a harder time putting the ball in the hoop. Meanwhile, Bryant is the league’s second best scorer, averaging 27.2 per game. If the Bulls aren’t careful, this game could get away from them pretty easily and become the Bryant show in the house that Michael built. Ben Wallace has to step up defensively for the Bulls and Luol Deng and Ben Gordon have to show their coach that he made the right decision in not packaging them for Kobe. And for a little extra motivation, Los Angeles whopped the Bulls by 28 points a month ago in Hollywood.

Buzzer Beater: We know it’s a tough thing to admit, but acceptance is the first step in recovery. And on Monday night, Isiah Thomas finally came to grip with the fact that his Knicks are gutless.

Tonight was very discouraging to me because we didn’t collectively play with heart,” Thomas said after the Knicks were clobbered by the Pacers, 119-92. “I think we have the talent, but just because you have the talent and skill doesn’t necessarily mean you have the heart. … For whatever reason, we just stopped competing; we just stopped playing with pride.

In other words, they are a bunch of “sunts“.