Tag: New England Patriots

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NFL General

The mighty Madden video game foretells the future

When in doubt, ask John Madden. That’s what we always say. By the time he finishing bumbling his words, you always have a clearer outlook on things. Of course, you gotta listen to him actually speak in that annoying tone if you do that and then you’re running the risk of getting list pieces of turduckin spit all over you and that’s never pleasant. Plus, the stench from his mouth. Oh, god, the stench. So, actually, nevermind, don’t ask John anything in person. Let’s just leave all the formulating of intelligent ideas to his video game which predicts the Cowboys take it all this year and here’s how.

Playoffs 2008
NFC Division Champions: North – Vikings
South – Buccaneers
West – Rams
East – Cowboys
Wildcards – Saints and Redskins

AFC Division Champions: North – Steelers
South – Colts
West – Chargers
East – Patriots
Wildcards – Jets and Jaguars

Wild Card
The Jaguars went on the road and upset the Chargers, 23-20, by virtue of 147 rushing yards from Fred Taylor. Tampa Bay blew out New Orleans, 37-13, with Drew Brees throwing five — count them — five interceptions. Indianapolis held serve against the Jets for a 37-20 victory that offered some revenge for the 41-0 shellacking the Jets laid on them in January of 2003, while the Rams dominated the Redskins in the latter’s second straight disappointing playoffs, winning 34-6.

Divisional Round
The Patriots knocked out the Jaguars for the third time this decade, prevailing in a snowy 30-10 battle that saw Lawrence Maroney score three touchdowns. The Colts were unable to claim revenge on the Steelers for their early-2005 loss, with the Steelers winning 19-10. In the NFC, the Cowboys outscored the Rams in a shootout, with three DeMarcus Ware sacks contributing to a 38-24 victory, while the upset of the week saw the Buccaneers blow out the Vikings and poor Tarvaris Jackson on the road, 37-13.

Conference Finals
The Patriots famously blew out the Steelers’ following Anthony Smith’s trash talk in Week 14 of 2007; this game was closer, but a 25-21 victory with a wild finish gave the Patriots their Super Bowl spot. The game came down to an Ellis Hobbs interception in the end zone on the Steelers’ final drive. Their opposition was provided by the Cowboys, who beat the Buccaneers in another classic, 21-17. Tony Romo led the Cowboys down the field in the final two minutes, and when he hit tight end Jason Witten for an 18-yard touchdown pass with :39 left on the clock, the Buccaneers were heartbroken and finished.

Super Bowl
In the Super Bowl, the Patriots started off with the ball, marched down the field, and scored thanks to a Lawrence Maroney touchdown, giving them a 7-0 lead. There was no scoring until the end of the half, when a Stephen Gostkowski field goal put the Patriots up 10-0 heading into halftime.

Coming out of halftime, the Cowboys were clearly an inspired team. They scored when Tony Romo ran the ball in from six yards out, making the score 10-7. The Patriots responded with a huge kickoff return, but couldn’t move the ball and could only muster a field goal. That was topped when Isaiah Stanbeck returned the resulting kickoff 95 yards, giving the Cowboys a 14-13 lead. Each team traded field goals on their next possessions, and as the fourth quarter started, the Cowboys led by the narrowest of margins: 17-16.

The Patriots kicked another field goal, Gostkowski’s fourth of the game, to take a 19-17 lead. From there, the Cowboys were forced to punt, and the Patriots drove to the Cowboys 2, only for a Zach Thomas sack to force the Patriots to kick yet another field goal; Gostkowski’s sixteenth point of the game made the score 22-17.

With three minutes left, Tony Romo launched the drive of his life, the highlight being a 4th-and-2 on his own 33-yard-line where he hit Terrell Owens on a slant for a first down, only for Owens to break a tackle and scamper all the way down to the Patriots 19. Two plays later, Marion Barber ran in from eight yards out to make the score 23-22; they added a two-point conversion to make it 25-22.

Giving Tom Brady the ball with 84 seconds left seemed scary enough, but much like last year, Brady couldn’t get his drive started. He nearly threw an interception on first down, was sacked by Thomas on second down on a play where no one got open, was sacked by Ware on third down, and on fourth-and-26, Brady’s completed pass came up five yards short, ending the season and giving the Cowboys their sixth Super Bowl. Thomas was named the game’s MVP.

Links:

[IGN]: 2008 Season Simulation

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New England Patriots

Patriot helps feds after getting popped with OxyContin


After spending several years atop “America’s sweethearts” list, NFL fans are really starting to loath the Patriots. A lot of it has to do with the Pats simply being that damn good, but a lot of that could have as much to do with their alleged tendency to bend snap the rules as it does with their offensive goldmines of Tom Brady, Randy Moss, Wes Welker and Laurence Maroney. But for those who love to hate New England, you’re no longer required to fall back on the cheating card because the Patriots are one-trick ponies no more. You may now add druggies and snitches to that list.

Starting New England Patriots offensive lineman Nicholas Kaczur was arrested in April on a charge of illegal possession of prescription painkillers and then secretly cooperated with the federal Drug Enforcement Administration in a sting operation that resulted in the indictment of his alleged drug supplier, according to a lawyer and two people briefed on the investigation.

Kaczur – a 28-year-old, 315-pound offensive tackle – wore a hidden recording device during three different drug transactions in May at gas stations in Foxborough and North Attleborough and a supermarket parking lot in Sharon, according to the lawyer, the two people, and federal court documents. At each of the three transactions, Kaczur paid $3,900 in cash to buy 100 OxyContin pills, a potent prescription pain reliever.

Federal agents arrested the alleged dealer, Daniel Ekasala, moments after the third transaction with Kaczur, said Ekasala’s lawyer. He was indicted by a federal grand jury yesterday on three counts of possession of oxycodone (the main ingredient in the prescription drug OxyContin) with intent to distribute. He is due to be arraigned today in federal court.

Kaczur, approached yesterday afternoon by a Globe reporter as he stood on the front porch of his Attleboro home, denied participating in a DEA investigation or buying drugs. He also said he was not familiar with Ekasala.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, bro,” Kaczur said repeatedly, in response to questions about the investigation. “I don’t know where this is coming from. I don’t know what you are talking about.”

It’s understandable; the use of OxyContin is capable of producing memory loss. Like we’ve said before, if athletes would just stick to using over-the-counter products for their aches and pains then none of this would ever happen.

Links:

[Boston.com]: Patriot arrested, then aids drug sting

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New England Patriots

Tom Brady takes it to The Worldwide Leader


Spygate is the story that just won’t die. Months after the story first surfaced, it’s still a hot topic with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell taking to a podium on Monday afternoon in order to spill the beans concerning Matt Walsh, former New England video assistant. Goodell basically said no new information came from the interview with Walsh, meaning this story could actually reach the end of its lifespan after all. Of course, if you ask Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, it wouldn’t have ever been a topic of conversation if it wasn’t for that damn ESPN and all their muscle-headed analysts.

Appearing on the Boston radio station WEEI, Brady suggested that the reason Patriotgate has stayed in the news is that the media in general and ESPN specifically are looking to fabricate a controversy.

“I think it’s a way to really sell newspapers, and all the ESPN stations, they’ve got to fill the air, too,” Brady said.

When it was pointed out to Brady that many of the ex-NFL players who work at ESPN were harshly critical of the Patriots and suggested that they gained a huge advantage from stealing signals, Brady said, “It’s just kind of the environment right now, though. I think that’s the way that guys make it. They just say the craziest things. That’s what ESPN has become. ESPN, to me, is like MTV without the videos, ESPN is without the highlights.”

C’mon Tom, give ESPN a little more credit than that. They don’t just fabricate stories and say outlandish things. After all, you remember the high level of dignity and class they displayed during the Sean Taylor tragedy, don’t you?

By the way, MTV used to have videos?!?

Links:

[BostonHerald.com]: Tom Brady: Ordeal remains `dead issue’
[FanHouse]: Tom Brady Rips ESPN

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New England Patriots

Randy Moss signs new deal for some "straight cash, homey"

In case you haven’t heard by now, there will be no Randy Moss offseason movement. After threatening to bolt from New England in favor of reuniting with Daunte Culpepper of all people, the Pats wrote out a big check for $27 million with a $12 million signing bonus to keep Moss around for another three years. Its good news for Patriots fans, but its GREAT news for fans of Straight Cash Homey!

Links:

[NYTimes.com]: Moss Stays Put After Flirtation in Free Agency

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Minnesota Vikings

Randy Moss has officially lost his marbles, again


Just when it appeared Randy Moss had his head screwed on straight for the first time in who knows how many years, he decides to go bonkers once again and start talking about a reunion with Daunte Culpepper?!?!

Apparently, Moss is toying with the idea of heading elsewhere in an attempt to finish some unfinished business with his old QB hurling the pigskin to him. We know Randy is getting frustrated with the Patriots and their decision to let him slide into free agency, but this is lunacy. Perhaps Moss hasn’t seen Culpepper’s horrible stints in Miami and Oakland, but he is nowhere close to being the same quarterback that used to hurl 60-yard bombs for Moss to haul in. Sure, it might sound like a pretty sweet duo in theory, but with the way Culpepper’s career is going, Moss might want to go ahead and head back to Minnesota for a stint with Tavaris Jackson.

Like we said, we know Randy is slightly peeved at the Pats for not locking him up, but c’mon man, it’s the Pats. He has always said that he wants a Super Bowl ring and then he goes perfect through 16 game season, falling just short of his goal and suddenly he’s ready to bolt back to mediocrity?! Losing the biggest game of the year has to be sheer disappointment, but the alternative is going 8-8 (and if Culpepper is worthy of a starting gig then that’s the best possible outcome) and probably throwing a cup of water on a referee or driving down the street with a cop on his hood.

Links:

[BleacherReport.com]: Randy Moss and Daunte Culpepper: Reunited?
[Boston.com]: Moss connects with Culpepper

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New England Patriots

Kevin Faulk gets popped with pot


Dealing with the end of a possible perfect season is tough. Dealing with a Super Bowl loss is even tougher. Dealing with Bill Belichick is basically torture. So, we can’t really blame the Patriots players for trying to find a way to escape all the joy turned heartache from their past season. Some guys have super-hot, supermodel girlfriends to turn to for a little relief. The less fortunate turn to narcotics and horrible music as an outlet. Our advice is go find yourself a supermodel girlfriend.

According to authorities in Lafayette, Louisiana, New England Patriots running back Kevin Faulk has been issued a misdemeanor summons for possession of marijuana.

Captain John Babin of the Lafayette Metro Narcotics Task Force confirmed the summons.

Babin says Faulk was on his way to a suite in the Lafayette Cajundome to watch a performance by rapper Lil’ Wayne, when a routine search by a sheriff’s deputy turned up four marijuana cigarettes.

We’re assuming Faulk didn’t go through with the concert; after all, how the hell are you supposed to listen to some guy named Lil’ Wayne without being totally blazed?

Links:

[KCBD.com]: Patriots running back Kevin Faulk allegedly found with pot

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New England Patriots

Tattoos are a great way to show team spirit, but they DO NOT always make you look cool

In this sports-crazed world we live in, there are four kinds of fans. You’ve got your “casual fan” that watches for fun and usually waits until the playoffs or the bowl season before getting into the spirit. The second type is the true “fan of the game”. These are the people who keep up with sports in general, but don’t really have a loyalty to any particular team, choosing instead to love the game as a whole. Then there are the “super fans” – a.k.a. the obnoxious, annoying, in-your-face, one-trick ponies who worship the ground their particular team walks on. The last group is this guy.

After the Pats got shocked in the big game, Victor went back and had a dark-tinted face shield tattooed over his eyes to cover his tears of humiliation.

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New England Patriots

Weird Al’s "Eat It" just got topped

Call us crazy, but even as kids we weren’t digging Michael Jackson’s jams. While all our friends were sporting a single glove and the red, zippered jacket from hell, we were watching reruns of The Monkees on Nickelodeon. But we finally found reason to like Jackson’s music some 20 years later. Well, it’s not exactly his music, but this video wouldn’t have been possible without him. Oh, and Bill Belichick being a big, fat, hairy cheater played a role too.


Patriots Parody You Cheated – Watch more free videos

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NFL General

The Pats are bummed, but Nevada sports books: You are the biggest losers!


Besides Eli Manning going down in history as a Super Bowl MVP – we’re still shaking our heads in disbelief – a whole lot of other people found themselves in unexpected position following Sunday’s shocker. Mainly bookies that lost a ton o’ greenbacks when the Patriots didn’t pull through with perfection.

Nevada sports books lost a record $2.6 million on Super Bowl bets when the Giants defeated the Patriots 17-14.

Nevada Gaming Control Board analyst Frank Streshley said large amounts were bet on the money line that the Giants would win outright. Payouts on those bets were as much as 4-to-1 because the Patriots were such heavy favorites.

Sports books handled just over $92 million on the game. That was the third-highest amount ever, but down for the second straight year.

Of course, the easiest money made all weekend was our little wager that New Yorkers couldn’t celebrate without committing random acts of vandalism. Yup, somebody’s finally getting Rock Band!

Dozens of young New York Giants fans jumped on the hoods, trunks and tops of cars and buses along the parade route through lower Manhattan yesterday, partly marring an otherwise joyous event designed to celebrate the football team’s Super Bowl victory.

At least four different incidents were caught on videotape around the intersection of Reade Street and Broadway.

During one of them, youngsters ganged up on a yellow taxi and smashed its windshield with their elbows despite a woman’s efforts to pull them off the car.

Links:

[KTVU.com]: Super Bowl Upset Costs Bookies
[NewsDay.com]: Arrests for vandalism made during Giants parade

Categories
New England Patriots

After being on the injury report all season long, NOW Tom Brady’s injury is for real?!


We’re not going to call Tom Brady and Randy Moss sore losers, but what a couple of titty babies!! The duo were all laughs and smiles, cracking jokes and taking jabs at the Giants going into Sunday’s super shocking Super Bowl, but after a 17-14 loss and an abrupt detour off the road to perfection, the record-setting scoring threats pulled out of the Pro Bowl.

Brady’s excuse stems from “Boot Gate”, claiming his tender ankle took a pounding from the Giants defense. Apparently Moss is learning more than just routes from his quarterback because he is also citing an injured ankle, not a broken heart, for his inability to attend the Pro Bowl on Feb. 10.

Now, we know other players skipped out on the All-Star tradition – in fact, we’re surprised anyone would go to this stupid thing – but the timing of this whole thing just stinks to us. And, as usual, it’s the fans that get screwed in the end. Now, instead of seeing the greatest offensive `one-two punch’ in NFL history, fans are treated to seeing Chad Johnson and Derek Anderson.

Ocho-Cinco can be entertaining as hell, but it’s going to take a lot of oversized Hall of Fame jackets to make up for the absence of Brady and Moss.

Links:

[The Canadian Press]: Brady and Moss pull out of Pro Bowl a day after loss to Giants in Super Bowl