Sportscolumn Blog

We have a strict and simple belief that we live our lives by every single day and that is grown men should NEVER wear the jerseys of professional athletes. Just the idea of seeing some 42-year-old from Denver sporting a John Elway throwback makes us wanna puke. But, it happens everyday in this great country of ours and everyday we shed a tear over it. So, for the love of all things decent, if you have to wear a jersey, please take the advice of the Bleacher Report guys and just make sure it’s not one of these 10. Oh, or Michael Vick.

10. Any WNBA jersey (just wanted to get that out of the way first).

9. Randall Gay – I don’t think I’m really homophobic, saying that, I don’t even think a gay man would wear a jersey with “Gay” on the back of it. Good for Gay, he already has a Super Bowl ring, and in March, he’s headed back to his home state of Louisiana, signing with the Saints for $17.6 million.

8. Bill Buckner – Even after the Sox broke the curse and have one two World Series in the last few years, has anybody really forgiven Buckner in Boston? I don’t think I would take the chance of sporting a Buckner jersey anywhere around the Boston area.

7. Leon Lett – Although he was a two-time Pro Bowler and part of the Dallas Cowboys’ three Super Bowl victories in the `90s, he will probably be remembered for two real stupid/hilarious plays.

The first play coming in Super Bowl XXVII. Lett recovered a fumble on the 45-yard line and was running it back for a clear touchdown, at around the 10, Leon outstretched his arm with the ball. Not seeing a hustling Don Beebe, the ball was stripped and knocked out of the end zone, which resulted in a touchback. Granted, the play had no effect on the game at all, it must have been really embarrassing for Cowboy’s nation.

The second play came on a Thanksgiving Day game in ’93. With the Cowboys leading the Dolphins 14-13 in the closing seconds, Miami attempted a field goal. During the game, there was a rare snowstorm in Dallas which covered the field. Anyway, the Cowboys wound up blocking the kick.

While his teammates made a circle around the ball and started celebrating, Lett broke through to recover the ball. I don’t know if he even knows what he was thinking, but he slipped on the ice when trying to get it. The Dolphins recovered the ball on the one-yard line. Miami wound up winning the game.

Come to think of it, maybe I would wear his jersey; it would be a conversation starter.

6. Jose Canseco – Do I really have to explain why? Maybe I would wear his twin brother’s, Ozzie, jersey, now he was something special.

5. Rae Carruth – He was a first-team All-American wide receiver out of Colorado who was the 27th overall pick by the Carolina Panthers in 1997. In his rookie year, Carruth led all rookie receivers in receptions and receiving touchdowns. He showed a lot of promise. It all came to an end in 1999, when he conspired to commit murder. The victim was Carruth’s girlfriend who was pregnant with his twins at the time. He’s still in jail.

Wearing his jersey would be, let’s say in bad taste? Carruth’s number? 89. I guess it wasn’t the number; Steve Smith seems to be alright with it, unless he conspired in the elimination of running back Stephen Davis. Is it just me, or did he disappear very quickly?

4. Gheorge Muresan – The tallest player ever to play in the NBA. His number was 77, which was in reference to his 7’7″ frame. He was named Most Improved Player in the 1995-96 season when he put up solid numbers, averaging 14.5 points, 9.6 rebounds, and 2.6 blocks. He also gave a riveting performance co-starring with Billy Crystal in the movie My Giant where he played a big guy.

Did anybody ever sport a Muresan jersey? There had to of been, I think I remember them in the stands in his Washington Bullets days. As for me? I don’t like anybody over seven feet.

3. Aaron Rodgers – His jersey will be a novelty item the way things are going now. Will he ever start a game? Just a thought wouldn’t it be cool to see the Packers fans wearing Rodgers’ jerseys and the Packers fans wearing Favre jerseys fight? It would be a Green Bay Civil War.

2. Scott Norwood – “No Good! Wide right!” With Norwood’s 47-yard field goal miss, the Giants won Super Bowl XXV. Although he was the Bills all-time leading scorer, he will always be remembered for that kick. I might try to get a Ray Finkle jersey though. Finkle was the kicker based on Norwood in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, for those of you who didn’t get the reference. If only the laces were out, Norwood could be a Buffalo hero.

1. O.J. Simpson – Although the Juice is loose, his jersey isn’t. Pretty funny that his jersey has spent more time locked up than him. That is, until he finally catches the true killers. Then I can finally dust the magnificent shirt off, it just looks weird in my closet. I just can’t get rid of it; he is a former Heisman winner.

Also, please avoid these additional players from the NBA, NHL, NFL and MLB if at all possible.

Links:

[Bleacher Report]: Top 10 Most Unwearable Jerseys