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The lovely and gullible Maria Sharapova

For some strange reason, we can totally see Stu Scott pulling something like this.

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General Sports

Can somebody please throw Stu Scott in front of a moving bus?

Trying to explain what a douche Stuart Scott is has become like trying to explain the science behind what happens to a star when it gets sucked into a black hole. Sometimes it’s just easier to observe the subject’s behaviors in order to quantify their complexity or, in Stu’s case, his doucheiness.

This kind of crap has gone on long enough and we here at SportsColumn aren’t going to take it anymore. So, our plan is to assassinate Stuart Scott immediately. However, to do so we will need monetary contributions from Stu Scott despisers like you. So, please partake in our fund raiser. The sooner you do, the sooner this one-eyed nightmare will be over.

Spoken word.


[Awful Announcing]: Stu Scott’s Ridiculous Deaf Poetry Slam

General Sports

Do we really need to tell you how moronic Stu Scott is?

Stu Scott has got to be one of the most annoying man on television and he’s proving that his disabilities are far worse than simply having a lazy eye. Mr. Boo-Yah opened his yapper to ESPN the Magazine the other day but instead of the normal horribly scripted garbage that comes spewing out, he shared some of his true feelings about culture in response to an email. We don’t know which is worse.

Emailer: Stuart, you say Pacman isn’t a bad guy, but Imus’ words reflect who he is? Whats the difference?

Stu: ” I didn’t say Imus was a bad person. I do think he’s racist and sexist”

“That makes him a flawed person, like Pacman.”


Look, Stu, we all know that you can’t see out of that glass eye you’ve got, but it shouldn’t be completely skewing your view of reality. Imus is a documented bigot; nobody is saying he’s a saint, but Pacman?! You do know who Pacman Jones is, right? Please don’t make us go through the entire list of transgressions again, but we’ll remind you that he did spark a shooting after slamming a stripper’s head into the stage in Vegas. Call us crazy, but we’ll take the whole “nappy-headed hos” thing any day over getting an innocent bystander paralyzed.

What makes the cyclops’ comments even more retarded is that he came out after the whole Imus thing broke and said that the term “ho” is a way of being affectionate. Huh? So, how can Pacman possibly be less flawed than Imus when you think that Imus was only being “affectionate” when he called those hos hos?

Go away, Stu, just freakin’ go away.


[Awful Announcing]: Stu Scott Think Pacman Jones Is A Saint