Categories
General Sports

April 4 2007 episode of Poor Man’s PTI

Welcome to another episode of Poor Man’s PTI.

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This week’s topics include:

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Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: The Battle of Los Angeles

1. Iron unkind
Kobe Bryant kept his hot string going last night as he dropped 29 points on the Clippers but the Lakers still ended up losing the game by eight points, 90-82. But don’t let the big number fool you, last night was one of the ugliest games Bryant put together all year. The Mamba shot a wretched 13-of-34 from the field, including three misses from behind the arc. LA has now lost four of their last five games and if they don’t turn things around pretty quick, it’s not unreasonable to think that they could fall completely out of the playoff picture. Golden State and New Orleans are both riding three game winning streaks and are now pounding on the door to the post season.

2. Wizards need a dose of magic

If the Wizards weren’t in trouble before their game against the Bobcats last night, they are certainly knee deep in it now. Not only did Washington drop a crucial late season game to one of the laughing stocks of the league, but they also lost their best player to an injured left leg. And with only eight games remaining in the Wizards’ season, this couldn’t have come at a worse time. On Sunday, Caron Butler broke his hand while trying to block a shot and is expected to miss at least six weeks of action. The Wiz appeared to have the Southeast Division wrapped up just a few weeks ago, but they are now sitting a game behind Miami in the division and currently hold the sixth spot in the playoffs. Antawn Jamison has finally gotten healthy, but without Arenas and Butler his health is a non-factor.

3. From bad to worse
The Portland Trailblazers don’t have much to cheer about these days, but, as unbelievable as it may sound, thing just got worse. Portland’s promising rookie, LaMarcus Aldridge has been sidelined indefinitely after being diagnosed with a rapid heartbeat and having bouts of dizziness. Aldridge had struggled to find his place in the pros for the majority of the season, but had put together several impressive games after taking over a starting spot when Joel Przybilla went down for the season with knee surgery. Aldridge averaged 15 points, eight rebounds and two blocks during the month of March, and had his best game as a pro against Denver on March 13, when he scored 24 points to go along with 17 rebounds and four blocks.

Wednesday’s Player of the Day: Gerald Wallace @ Washington 44 min, 27 pts (FG: 11-20, 3FG: 1-3, FT: 4-4), 12 reb, 8 ast, 4 stl

Thursday’s Game to Watch: Phoenix (56-18) @ San Antonio (53-21) For the last few weeks everyone has been talking about the games between the Suns and the Mavs. But it’s the Suns/Spurs match-up which has a greater chance of becoming a playoff reality. San Antonio is trying desperately to catch the Suns before the end of the season in order to grab the number two spot in the West. But regardless of who finishes second or third, should both of these teams advance past the first round, they would run into each other in the second round. However, whoever ends up with the second seed will have home court advantage in what could be an epic showdown. Both teams have eight games remaining on their schedules and only three games currently separate the two Western Conference powerhouses. This should be a fiercely contested game.

Buzzer Beater: Everything was going fine for the Hornets as they entered into the fourth quarter of last night’s game with a 13 point lead in their back pocket. By the end of the fourth, New Orleans was staring at the scoreboard as it read 5:00. Yup, the Hornets blew their 13 point lead by only scoring six points in the final quarter, a franchise low. But wait, there’s more. NOKC would explode for 17 points in the extra period behind a seven point outburst by Bobby Jackson to win by nine points, 101-92. Oh, did we mention they were playing the Sonics? That explains the comeback in OT, but there is no excuse for letting Seattle’s sorry D hold you to six points in 12 minutes.

Categories
Golf

Attention Sportscenter: We have found your next anchor


Every year the world’s best golfers head to Augusta, GA, to compete in the Masters. And every year the media coverage descends on the city in droves to bring you all the news that’s fit to print. Columbia, SC, TV station WLTX had a slightly different idea of what the public would find interesting to know about some of the most precisely skilled athletes on the planet. So, they sent their local sports douche, Matt Barrie, down to the links to ask these guys if they use body wash or bar soap. Wow, groundbreaking stuff.

This hick is trying way too hard to be funny when he’s really just a pathetic loser; but hey, the same gimmick worked for Stuart Scott. Now all Barrie needs is a lazy eye.

Links:

[WLTX.com]: Bar Soap vs. Body Wash

Categories
Toronto Raptors

Top 10 Most Gruesome sports injuries: #8 Jorge Garbajosa

[Sportscolumn is running down the ten most gruesome sports injuries. Here’s #8]

After trying to block a shot by Al Jefferson, Jorge Garbajosa landed awkwardly and his fibula snapped and spun his ankle out of place. It might not look that bad when you first see it, but Garbajosa’s shrieks of pain could be heard in the next county and Jefferson’s cringe upon seeing the mangled leg was proof that this was not a normal broken bone. In fact, the entire Raptors bench can be seen covering their eyes after the injury takes place.

Oh, man. I haven’t witnessed anything like that in person, ever,” Raptors swingman Morris Peterson said. “I just had to turn my head. A lot of guys did.

You would think that anybody’s career would be over after spinning their leg a full 90 degrees in the wrong direction but, amazingly, Garbajosa is expected to be sidelined for just six months after the horrific injury.

There was even a rumor floating around that Garbajosa wanted to remain awake during his operation so that he could watch the doctor perform his magic, but that turned out to be a joke. If that were true, however, the doctors might want to consider performing a lobotomy as well as the necessary ankle surgery.

Back to #9 | Forward to #7

Categories
New England Patriots

So who was the blonde with Bill Belichick?


We were going to originally put this in the Odds and Ends column for today but once in a while, we like to get all US Weekly up in here. While the Boston Herald Inside Track girls were the first to post about Bill “Ladykiller” Belichick and an “unidentified blonde”, Tom Curran over at NBC Sports Blogs has identified her as Linda Holiday from Florida.

[Update: Sadly, it is not the same Linda Holliday so just ignore the rest of this post. Bleh. We’ll leave the celeb gossip mongerering to the experts from now on.]:


From Florida? That’s all we get? Come on Tom. Is she from the school, or just the general state? Well, that’s why Google kicks ass. A little googling has turned up Linda Holliday from Medical Broadcasting Company.

Her bio says “In her career, Linda has directed the marketing efforts for the regional sports channels of Cablevision, for SBK Pictures, and has also served as an independent marketing consultant.” So there you go, Bill had access, so to speak. It looks kinda like her and until someone comes up with better evidence, we’re inclined to believe it’s her. Boy we feel kind of dirty now. How does Page Six do it every day?

Oh by the way, we still haven’t seen a picture of Sharon Shenocca, the secretary with the Giants that Bill broke up the marriage of. Anyone? Anyone?

Links:
[The Big Lead]: Belichick Snares Cougar, Squires Her to NCAA Final

Categories
Denver Broncos

This is like a statement on cheerleading or something


One of our readers sent in this photo from the Denver Broncos Cheerleaders tryouts. No, seriously.

Now, we have nothing against fat people but they really shouldn’t be wearing spandex. We’re going to go ahead and guess that this is some feminist social commentary on using overly thin women who create body image issues for “normal” women to sell sports. Either that or someone is suffering from a OJ Simpon-sized case of self delusion. (Or perhaps she is a cautionary tale to the cheerleaders who love buffalo wings.)

Needless to say, she did not make the squad. For a slideshow and video of the Denver hotties that actually made the squad, check here. (Yes, yes, and yes.)

Thanks to rux for the heads up.

Categories
Toronto Blue Jays

Frank Thomas can swing a mean pillow

Frank Thomas can do some serious damage with a bat in his hands, but what about a pillow? Well, according to the Television Bureau of Canada, the Big Hurt is too aggressive during a commercial in which he has a pillow fight with a small boy. In the ad, two boys are having a pillow fight when Thomas enters the room and tells the kids to go to bed. One boy hits him with a pillow and then Thomas takes a swing of his own, knocking the kid off the bed.

The TBC has yanked the ad but refused to comment on why. However, their website has this guideline posted, which could be the reason behind pulling the spot off the air.

Advertisers are cautioned that “it is imperative to keep the best interests of young children and youth in mind when producing commercials. Because children and youth are very impressionable, commercials should not contain any visual or audio portrayals which are detrimental to their well-being.”

The TBC’s website goes on to state that acts of violence, “even comedic violence,” can be found to be excessive when included in commercials.

C’mon, does anyone honestly think that a pillow fight promotes violence? Are they terrified that the country’s kids are so impressionable that they are going start ripping pillows off their parent’s beds and attack bums on the streets?

Hello, it’s a commercial! Nobody thinks the kid actually got walloped by Thomas. Of course, this is the same company that refused to air a commercial with AJ Burnett tossing a small bundle of trash off the head of a garbage man until the words “dramatization” was added.

Links:

[GlobeSports.com]: Swing and a miss for Blue Jays’ commercial

Categories
Soccer

Jim Rome has found his next Chris Everett



Jim Rome can suck my dick! And he should be very afraid, because I’m the kind of guy, if I get too many drinks in me, I will club his ass. I’ve been on with Jim Rome, and I said, “Let me get this straight, you’re more impressed with water polo???”

Where is the avenue that the real soccer people can [gravitate towards]? Where is it? You and others are sick and ***** tired of being told we are a sleeping giant. We can kick everybody’s ass, if we figure it out.

It’s guys like you and your buddies who are the real American soccer. I play in an over-30 league and say my name is Derek. Why? Because I enjoy playing.

Alright, let’s go take a piss and get another beer.

Who knew that there was such a strong rivalry between Jim Rome and… who is this guy? Just kidding, Eric, we know you were Julie Foudy’s sidekick during the World Cup. We actually would love to see soccer succeed in the United States — simply because we don’t want the embarrassment of last summer in Germany repeated again.

You can read the full interview here, where Wynalda talks about the state of U.S. Soccer before taking his random (boozy) potshot at Jim Rome. We can’t wait till Wynalda is a guest on the Jim Rome show again. What are the odds he calls him Erica?

Links:
[Sports By Brooks]: SOCCER’S ERIC WYNALDA: “JIM ROME CAN SUCK MY D—”

[FulhamUSA.com]: Beers with Wynalda: Fulham fan interviews US Soccer’s most outspoken Analyst and Critic

[YouTube]: Jim Rome vs Jim Everett

Categories
College Basketball

Don’t "fag out" on Billy Packer

We’re tempted to file this under “everyone is getting waaaaaaay too sensitive” and disregard but since it’s Billy Packer and everyone hates Billy Packer, we might as well post it. In an interview with Charlie Rose, Billy Packer used the term “fag out” to indicate that Charlie would flake out on him. Now everyone is debating whether the term is anti-gay or simply British. (Why do Brits always get away with using terms that most of us can’t but then they get all huffy with Tiger Woods for calling himself a spaz?)

Now we agree that Billy Packer is an old bastard who should be put out to pasture, but this is getting a little ridiculous. This term is listed in the Urban Dictionary as “To bail on something, ‘pussy out’.” Pussy out? Pussies of the world should be offended and unite! Please see Phil Mickelson for the sign up sheet.

Billy Packer is an offensive asshole, and we wouldn’t be suprised if he’s the type to pull aside someone and say, “did you hear the one about the Jew, the Catholic, and the Colored Boy who went to heaven?”, but we should be more offended that he was verbally fellating Florida the entire tournament.

Links:
[Outsports]: Billy Packer “fags out” on Charlie Rose

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: King sized comeback


1. LeBron at 80% is better than most players at 100%
After missing a game versus the Celtics on Sunday due to tendinitis in his right knee, LeBron James returned to the Cavs lineup last night in Minneapolis and nearly torched the Timberwolves for a triple-double. King James finished the game with 31 points, 12 rebounds, six assists and four steals in the Cleveland victory. And LeBron’s performance came at a time when he considered himself to be “about 80-85 percent.” If that’s at 80 percent, just wait until we get to see him run the floor at full strength. Just one game separates the Cavaliers from the Bulls, but if Cleveland loses their grip on the slim lead they would slip from the second seed to the fifth seed and lose home court advantage in the post season.

2. Indiana locks up losing record

With eight games remaining in the season for Indiana, they have already clinched a Pacer benchmark that hadn’t been touched in a decade. Thanks to a 15 point loss at the hands of the Pistons, Indiana secured the franchise’s first losing season since 1996-97, which was also the last year that the Pacers failed to make the playoffs. But, that’s what happens when you go 3-18 over your last 21 games. Jermaine O’Neal refused to talk to reporters after the game as his frustrations continue to mount. This season could be last time O’Neal suits up in the yellow and blue; but a change of venue would be good for O’Neal. Unless he wants to follow in Kevin Garnett’s footsteps and simply decides to sink with the ship.

3. No Dirk, no problem
The Dallas Mavericks were forced to take the court against the Kings without their superstar and MVP candidate, Dirk Nowitzki, due to a nasty case of food poisoning. But the Mavs still managed to stay the course without their stud and defeated Sacramento by four points, 97-93. The loss of Nowitzki didn’t weaken the club, as the Kings hoped it would, but instead it simply allowed for other players to step up offensively and fill the scoring void. Josh Howard led the way for Dallas by scoring 29 points to go along with eight rebounds, while Jason Terry finished the game with 27 points. Oh, but that’s not enough 20+ point games by one team in a game; Jerry Stackhouse came off the bench to rack up 23 points of his own.

Tuesday’s Player of the Day: Gerald Wallace vs. Washington 44 min, 34 pts (FG: 16-24, FT: 2-5), 14 reb, 1 ast, 3 stl, 2 blk

Wednesday’s Game to Watch: Toronto (41-33) @ Orlando (34-40) The Raptors are coming off a close, three-point loss to the Heat last night but are still sitting one game ahead of Miami for the third spot in the East. Chris Bosh continues to impress as he scored 24 points and grabbed 11 rebounds against Miami’s stout frontcourt. But Bosh will have to take on another All-Star big man as Dwight Howard will look to slow down Bosh in the paint. Howard’s numbers have fallen a bit since the season began but he is still only .7 rebounds per game away from becoming the youngest player ever to win the league’s rebounding title.

Buzzer Beater: Apparently, the Memphis Grizzlies are prepared to offer Billy Donovan a multiyear deal. As a two-time NCAA champion, Donovan really has nothing left to prove on the collegiate level so it would make sense to advance his career to the next stage. But, then again, the Gators could probably smoke the Grizz at this point so it’s not going to help his legacy any to jump on the back of the sorriest team in the NBA. In the end, this will be a financially motivated decision for Donovan; the only question remaining is will the cash be stuffed into his pockets by Florida, Memphis, Kentucky or someone else?