Categories
All Other Sports

Odds and Ends: Help a fat man run the Boston Marathon


We’ve got a weird ebay auction for you today. The first is a fat guy who is going to run the Boston Marathon for charity. He is not officially entered in the marathon but will run behind as a “bandit”. If he can’t finish the marathon, the winning bidder can put any tattoo on his back.

OK, this guy weighs 438 pounds and has 3 months to prepare. You know what the chances of him finishing the marathon are? None. Slim was never even in the building. This auction benefits the American Cancer Society but we’re not sure how good the press is going to be when this guy drops dead after 2 miles.

In other news…

[Chicago Tribune]: The Blackhawks can’t even give tickets away

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: Yankees minor league mascot busted for soliciting a 14-year-old boy for sex. How did Chris Hanson miss this opportunity?

[The Good Phight]: Protection: What the numbers say

[MLB Fanhouse]: Dontrelle Willis and Friends Made It Rain in Spring Training

[NBA.com]: Chinese nicknames for NBA players

Categories
College Basketball

Top 10 Most Gruesome sports injuries: #7 Idong Ibok

[Sportscolumn is running down the ten most gruesome sports injuries. Here’s #7]

It was the first day of this year’s NCAA tournament and the entire country was sitting in front of their TV’s with brackets in hand as they drooled over the endless possibilities of Cinderella stories and last second heroics. But instead they got Idong Ibok flailing on the ground after dislocating his left elbow.

The accident happened when he tried to brace himself for a fall as Michigan State headed down court off a missed basket by Marquette.

It sounds painful enough but CBS went that extra mile and actually showed the television audience exactly what a dislocated elbow looks like. And it looks like a giant hole in your arm where an elbow used to be. At one point you can actually see him feeling around inside the dent, and by the screams he lets out, we’re guessing he does not like what he feels.

Back to #8 | Forward to #6

Categories
College Football

Florida Gator arrested for shooting rifle in the air


In a very Stephen Jackson-esque move, Florida offensive lineman, Ronnie Matthew Wilson, was arrested this morning on charges of aggravated assault, simple battery and use or display of a concealed weapon during the commission of a felony after he shot his gun into the air as he argued with another man. Oh, but this was no regular gun, Wilson whipped out a semi-automatic rifle from his trunk to intimidate the other guy. Wilson told police that he wanted the man “to know how it felt to be scared.” We’re guessing that it worked to perfection.

The victim is claiming that Wilson hocked a big ol’ loogie on him and then slapped him down like a bitch. Wilson admits to the spitting but denies the hitting.

Like any good athlete, the 6-3, 300 pounder is quick on his feet. After firing off the rifle, Wilson made a mad dash into an apartment complex and stashed the evidence at his cousin’s crib. Is it just us or does this seem like it should be in an episode of Cops?

Links:

[TheLedger.com]: Florida player arrested for allegedly shooting rifle in air

Categories
NBA General

Do you really want Charles Barkley handling your tax dollars?

If you put a microphone in Charles Barkley’s hand, you will get a good sound bite. And the candid Hall of Famer didn’t disappoint when he spoke to the Downtown Tip-Off Club in Little Rock, Arkansas. Barkley was invited to speak by ex-teammate and current Arkansas-Little Rock assistant coach Joe Klein, but Sir-Cumference wasn’t there to tell of his educational achievements when he was at Auburn. How could he when he skipped out early to go pro.

One year, I was like, ‘I need to go back and see how close I am to graduating.’ I started adding up all my credits, and I asked the guy, ‘What am I?'” Barkley said. “He says, ‘You’re a freshman.’

Well, in that case, he should fit in just fine with the rest of our nations politicians when he runs for governor of Alabama in 2014 (he has to live in Alabama for seven years before running).

I’m gonna win,” Barkley said. “I was born to do great things. I was born to do great things _ I think my No. 1 goal in life is to help poor people and balance the playing field. I didn’t realize that until I got older. … If you’re born poor in this country, you’re going to be in a bad neighborhood, and you’re going to go to a bad school. That’s unfortunate and sad.

Actually, what’s unfortunate and sad is that the possible future governor of Alabama doesn’t know what side of the globe Argentina is on. At least he knows what Alabama looks like.

Links:

[KVOA.com]: Barkley entertains at Arkansas club

Categories
New England Patriots

Keep your wives and free agents away from Bill Belichick


After our failed attempt to track down Bill Belichick’s latest lady, we’re going to leave it up to the experts. The Inside Track girls are the Boston Herald have tracked down the real Linda Holliday that was spotted with Bill Belichick at the Final Four.


Linda Holliday, the mother of two preteen girls, is the mystery blonde Belichick took to the NCAA National Championship hoopla in Atlanta the other night. Holliday, we’re told, is in the process of divorcing Eugene “Butch” Holliday, a 53-year-old Arkansas businessman who is her third hubby.

Linda, we’re told, left Holliday and moved to Florida to be near her sister. She subsequently met Belichick and they began dating.

Now the couple was already separated so Bill can’t be given credit for breaking up yet another marriage, but he certainly didn’t help any reconciliation efforts.

So there you have it, that free agent signing spree over the winter? That wasn’t so much the Patriots being upset they lost to the Colts, it was just Belichick and his serial need to take what isn’t his.

P.S. This post comes with a bonus pic of Sharon Shennoca, the last marriage Belichick wrecked.

Links:
[Inside Track]: Belichick’s blonde ambition nets a new squeeze

[SC]: Belichick is a homewrecker – Sharon Shenoca

Categories
NHL General

What would you do with the Stanley Cup?


Lord Stanley’s Cup is without question the most awesome trophy in all of sports. (And if you think otherwise, we say good day, sir.) We love the stories of players bathing their kids and drinking beer out of it. Well, here’s your chance to have the Stanley Cup in your home delivered personally by Mark Messier.

Of sports promotions, this is a pretty damn cool one. Unfortunately, it’s only available to the fine folks north of us. Hockey Night in Canada is asking for video entries from hockey fans telling them how you watch the playoffs and asking them to show off their hockey shrine.

The Grand Prize is having the Stanley Cup delivered by Messier for a party at your home during the playoffs. The winner also gets a custom hockey shrine in their home created by the Hockey Night in Canada set designers. Pretty cool, eh?

We would love to enter this contest but unfortunately, 1) we don’t live in Canada, and 2) flipping through the Versus broadcast on the way to the NBA playoffs doesn’t qualify. We joke. We joke. Hockey playoffs are awesome. We’ll definitely be tuning in for that eventual Buffalo-Ottawa matchup.

Links:
[CBC]: Bring Home the Cup official page

Categories
Boston Red Sox

Matsuzaka marketing mania starts today with new Nike commercial

It’s Dice-K day in Boston as everyone is gearing up to watch Matsuzaka’s first start. Part of us wants to see him do well, but part of us always wants to witness the meltdown on Boston sports radio if he throws a clunker. Pressure? Just a little. And that’s the theme of this Nike commercial that’s only being aired in Japan.

It’s pure genius by the way. Nike and MLB are creating a huge legion of fans in Japan who will love the Sox and, almost as importantly, hate the Yankees. The ad takes a bit of artistic license. The opponent today won’t be the Yankees, but the lowly Royals. You see MLB working?

Categories
New York Mets

The Full Count: Mets still holding a grudge


1. NLCS Revenge: Remember last year when the Mets had a much better team but lost to the Cardinals in the playoffs? Well, New York started off this season with some sweet revenge. They swept the Cardinals in three games while outscoring them 20-2, including a 10-0 embarrassment last night. Carlos Beltran hit his first two homeruns of the season and drove in four runs, and Jose Reyes also went yard for the visiting Mets. But most importantly, John Maine showed his potential in the rotation by allowing just one hit in seven shutout innings. For the Cardinals, Albert Pujols just went 1-10 in the series.

2. Comeback kids: The Braves have won two extra-inning contests in a row over the Phillies, and last night’s comeback was fueled by their young talent. The Phillies got seven shutout innings from Cole Hamels and led 2-0 going into the 9th, but Brian McCann launched a two-run homer off Phils closer Tom Gordon. Then in the 11th, obscure pinch hitter Scott Thorman hit a solo shot to give the Braves the lead. Atlanta at 2-0 is one of eight undefeated teams left in the majors, while Philly is among the eight winless.

3. The Next Ace: Rich Harden has never had trouble on the mound; the key for him is simply staying healthy. He showed his potential last night as the A’s avoided a sweep by the Mariners. Harden went seven innings with 7 strikeouts and no runs allowed. If Harden stays healthy and other A’s pitchers improve, they have a shot at winning the no-man’s land AL West.

Player of the Day: Curtis Granderson, Tigers: 2-5, 3B, HR, 5 RBI in the Tigers’ 10-9 win over the Blue Jays.

Stat of the Day: Six different starting pitchers went at least 7 innings and allowed one or less earned runs on Wednesday. Three others added 7-inning, 2-run performances in a night dominated by pitching.

Categories
New York Islanders

Jesus, we hope it was just spit


Two Islanders Ice Girls (the ones who clean the snow during breaks and pick up the debris after a hat trick) say that the Rangers are disgusting louts.

Kelli Higgins says that she was cleaning up the goaltender’s crease when Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist took a big windup, whacked her squeegee and the stick hit her stomach. But that pales in comparison to what happened to Chanel Benson. According to Chanel, she was leaving the ice during the next television timeout when someone spit on her back. As you can tell from the photo, the Ice Girls wear some pretty nice outfits where their midriff and back are exposed.


All of a sudden, my back got wet. I believe one of the Rangers players who was sitting along the wall spit on my back. It had to be on purpose because I wasn’t directly in front of anyone to spit and not realize I was there.

The Islanders’ VP of game operations confirmed that there were wet spots on the back of her pants. OK, so which Ranger could it have been? The smart money is on Sean Avery.

And by the way, we hope he just spit and it wasn’t a re-enactment of the scene in Silence of the Lambs.

Links:
[Newsday.com]: Ice Girls want Rangers called for slashing, spitting

Categories
Soccer

Soccer match delays riot until halftime


Who doesn’t love to wake up in the morning and read about a good riot while sipping on a cup of coffee? We sure do, so we were thrilled to find another soccer riot had taken place in Rome.

For those of you who don’t know, the fans of Manchester United and AS Roma don’t really like each other. In fact, disorder was expected at the Champions League match on Wednesday because a partition had been erected between the sections where the two groups would come in contact with one another. But c’mon, you didn’t really think that could stop the fans from getting into it with each other, did you?

After Roma scored a goal before halftime, the war popped off between the home Roma fans and the group of about 4,500 Manchester fans as people started throwing fists, as well as other things.

I only saw glimpses of what went on. I saw some missiles flying and the police charging,” UEFA spokesman William Gaillard said. “We will be waiting for the delegate’s report and the control and disciplinary body will be looking at the television images to see the dynamics of what actually happened.

We’re pretty sure that by “missiles,” they mean flying objects. Unless, of course, those wacky Euro’s have stepped up their sports rioting defenses to include armaments they bought from Uncle Sam.

But those United fans had it coming, after all they were told to avoid certain areas within the city, and to avoid the metro system because “there is a real danger of being attacked by the ‘Ultra’ fans of AS Roma.” Now, if that doesn’t detour you from a stupid soccer game then perhaps the bloody violence at the stadium’s gates before the game would do the trick. That was where 18 United fans were hurt during fights with Roma supporters prior to the game, including one poor chap who took a shank to the neck.

Granted, this was a big game in the soccer community but don’t these fools have TV’s?

Links:

[International Herald Tribune]: Police and fans clash at Roma-Man United match