Categories
All Other Sports

Hos is a bad word? We always thought it was short for honeys



I’m sorry; you were saying?

So, somebody out there in TV land isn’t too thrilled with how some of the major television networks portray women during their sporting telecasts, and now the FBI is offering $5,000 to find out who it is. Dozens of letters criticizing the practices of TV crews and cameramen were sent to national networks and their local affiliates, and some were sent to the athletic departments of Ohio, Michigan and Arizona. Some of the letters even contained an insecticide within them. Apparently, this pissed off fan thinks that camera crews objectify women, especially cheerleaders, and that they have a tendency to focus the lens on the young ladies, ahem, most popular assets.

Here are some excerpts from this raving lunatic’s threatening letters of disapproval.

For the past 6-7 years, ESPN and its nationwide networks have exploited cheer/dance teams all across the country. They do this by parking their TV cameras on these women for their own personal entertainment.
…
Pigs park their cameras on us close up, front view, dozens of times each game, yet rarely ever show on TV in this manner.
…
We have asked nicely for them to respect us and all women, yet they refuse. They exploit innocent people, so we will too. When they start respecting us, we stop mailing these out.
…
For the last 6 years, Ohio State cheerleaders have received more TV time than any other Division 1A cheer squad on ESPN, because they wear long sleeved red/white outfits. If they wore sleeveless outfits, they would not get ANY TV time. So, we are fed up with this constant exploitation.

For a second there, the perpetrator made a bit of sense talking about how “pigs park their cameras on us,” because we all know that men are really dogs are heart. However, this nut lost all her credibility when we found out that in one letter she complained about the sexist manner in which WNBA players are portrayed. Listen, we’ll admit that cheerleaders probably do get exploited when they wear their little outfits, but nobody in their right mind is checking out the WNBA horses as they gallop up and down the court. Hell, do any men even watch the WNBA? Didn’t think so, case closed.

Links:

[SignOnSanDiego.com]: FBI seeks author of threatening letters complaining about cheerleaders, female athletes on TV
[King5.com]: Threatening letters say cheerleaders exploited

Categories
All Other Sports

Another reason never to leave your couch


What two things never belong together? Well Najeh Davenport and a hamper… but also an eyeball and a fish hook. According to the U.S. Eye Injury Register, fishing has become the #1 source of sports-related eye injuries overtaking basketball. (See, Kurt Rambis wasn’t just stylish, he was smart.)

Here’s a little story that had us squirming around. You know what’s coming… just read it anyway:


Tuskegee University student Ralph Squire had forked out five bucks for the fishing lure that very morning. When the crankbait became entangled in a bush while he fished later that day, he wanted it back.

That decision will haunt him forever.

I had just bought the lure . . . and right off the bat I threw it up in a bush,” he remembers of the incident last May. “I kept pulling on it with the fishing line, trying to pull it loose from the bush.”

The lure eventually came loose and struck Squire in the face. When several friends rushed to his side, they made a gruesome discovery: A treble hook from the lure was buried deep in Squire’s right eyeball.

Ouuuuuuuuch. Ouch. Ouch. We wish we had a photo of it for you. Actually, no… no we don’t.

Links:

[Sign On San Diego]: Fishing is perilous to more than just fish

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: Da’ Bulls are dancing all over Miami

1. Repeat defeat
Most people seem to think that a team isn’t in trouble in the playoffs until they lose a game on their home court. Well, Miami hasn’t lost on their home court but they still appear to be in serious trouble after the Bulls ran over Miami for a 107-89 win and took a 2-0 advantage in the series. The defending champions are getting thoroughly thrashed by what appears to be a more complete team unit in the Bulls. Luol Deng continues to abuse defenders as he put together another impressive outing with 26 points and six assists to go along with Ben Gordon’s game-high 27 points. But you can’t count out the Heat just yet; after all, Miami did drop the first two games of last year’s finals before going on to take the title away from Dallas in six games. Chicago, on the other hand, blew a 2-0 lead in the first round to the Wizards two years ago.

2. The Mamba strikes and misses

At the end of the first half of game one it looked like Kobe Bryant was going to carry the Lakers on his back to playoff victory. The past six quarters between the Phoenix and Los Angeles have proven that nothing could be further from the truth. Even if Bryant could string together another batch of 50 point games like he did earlier in the year, it still wouldn’t be enough to get this lackadaisical Lakers squad past the first round. The Suns just toyed with LA like a cat with a mouse on Tuesday as Steve Nash dished out 14 assists and newly crowned Sixth Man of the Year Leandro Barbosa put up a game-high 26 points off the bench in the 126-98 win. The odds are definitely going to be stacked against Los Angeles when the series heads to Hollywood and it’s going to take a lot of extra rooting from Jack, Denzel, Dyan and the other famous faces in the Staples Center crowd to keep the Lakers from falling down 3-0.

3. Sam’s the man
There were lots of worthy candidates for this season’s Coach of the Year award, but when it came down time to vote only one man could earn the honor. Toronto’s Sam Mitchell was named that man on Tuesday and rightfully so. Mitchell took the award with 394 total points, including 49 first place votes, over other possible candidates like Jerry Sloan (301 points), Avery Johnson (268 points) and Jeff Van Gundy (134 points). Who would have ever guessed that Mitchell would turn around a struggling Toronto franchise that was widely considered to be one of the black holes of the league? Certainly not the players of the Association because last April a Sports Illustrated informal poll amongst league ballers declared Mitchell to be the NBA’s worst coach. But nobody is saying Mitchell is a bottom feeder anymore since the Raptors made a 20-game improvement over last year’s dismal 27-55 record. And just hours after receiving the award, Mitchell went out and led the Raptors as they evened up their series with New Jersey by defeating them 89-83. Suck on that SI!

Tuesday’s Player of the Day: Steve Nash vs. Los Angeles Lakers 25 min, 16 pts (FG: 7-11, 3FG: 2-4), 5 reb, 14 ast

Buzzer Beater: Danny Ainge thought he was getting Boston’s point guard of the future last year when he made the trade for teenage phenomenon Sebastian Telfair. Turns out that he got a giant headache instead and after just one season the Celtics have decided that enough is enough and cut ties with the 21-year-old. “I wanted to let you know that we have removed Sebastian’s nameplate from his locker in Waltham,” said managing partner Wyc Grousbeck in an e-mail to the Boston Globe. Geez, you removed his nameplate; guess there’s no turning back now. Telfair was arrested on Friday after a gun was found in his car, but his attorney, Ed Hayes, thinks that Boston’s decision to get rid of Telfair is far too sudden and they should reconsider. Save your breath Ed; didn’t you hear? They already removed his nameplate, it’s over.

Categories
New York Giants

Michael Strahan hates the NFL



Oh the sexual tension!

We know that the life of a professional football player isn’t all money and hos. For most players, it’s a very short ride — the average length of an NFL career is around 3.5 years. But even if you last a long time in the league, chances are all that wear and tear on your body will leave you a shell of your former self once you hit 40. Still, being beat up after making a few million a year is better than, say, getting beat up every day working in a coal mine and not having the money to show for it. So even though we kinda understand where Strahan is coming from in this except from his upcoming book, we don’t exactly feel sorry for him.


You want to be an NFL star? You want to stand in my shoes? Let’s say one day I came to you and offered you a million dollars to let me take a huge hunting knife and wear down the blade until it was rusty and really dull. Then, when it’s really dull and nasty, I would stick it into a pit of burning coals until the blade was white-hot. Finally, I would pull that sucker out of the flames and stab you over and over and over again. Take that blade and stab you in the ankles, your feet and your wrists. Not just stick it in but turn that rusty old knife and twist it when it’s sunk deep into your knees or shoulders.

That is the reality of my NFL. Every single year I have somebody sink this awful, dreadful blade into a few parts of my body.

Geez, Mike, whatever happened to ‘for the love of the game’? Could this be another stab at Tom Coughlin, who Tiki has said is too hard on players during practices?

If he feels this angry about the NFL, we can’t wait to read what he has to say about his ex-wife Jean who took his mansion and $15M of his hard earned money, and implied that he was gay.

Links:
[NY Post]: STRAHAN: THE NFL IS HELL

Categories
NHL General

Maggie the Monkey better step it up


You know why we love Maggie the Monkey? Because she proved that a monkey spinning a wheel was just as good at picking games as a bunch of experts. Well, this year, she is totally letting us down. Going only 4-4 in the first round, Maggie is a disgrace. Hell, even Jeremy Roenick went 6-2. If she doesn’t improve her picks in the second round… well, there’s gotta be a hungry lion at the Zoo.

Here are Maggie’s picks for the second round of the 2007 NHL playoffs:

Detroit over San Jose
Vancouver over Anaheim (oooooh! upset special)
Buffalo over NY Rangers
Ottawa over New Jersey

Maggie is going out on a limb here with the Canucks but at least she’s not just betting the chalk.

Those of you with way too much time on your hands can watch video of Maggie making her picks. It’s actually fairly amusing.

And for one final random piece of NHL news, the mayor of NY declined to do the traditional friendly “we’ll send you our famous food, you send us a case of beer” wager with the mayor of Buffalo. Bloomberg must not like the Rangers chances.

Links:
[TSN]: NHL Playoff Picks

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Return of the Big Unit not as good as hoped



Dude, those CANNOT be real

1. Bad Debut for the Unit: Randy Johnson going to Arizona was one of the biggest stories this offseason. But, in his first start of the season due to a back injury, Johnson was not himself. He went 5 innings, allowing 6 runs and an uncharacteristic 4 walks. Johnson did strike out 7, but he ended up losing his matchup with fellow 43-year-old David Wells. Wells allowed just one run less than Johnson, but the bullpen behind him surrendered nothing. The Padres’ offense was the real star in this game. Adrian Gonzalez went 3-3 with 3 runs and 3 RBIs, and hit a rare lefty homer off the southpaw Johnson. Khalil Greene‘s 4-5, 4-RBI performance further helped the Padres in their 10-5 win, which sent their record to 12-8. The slumping D-Backs, meanwhile, have lost five in a row.

2. From Awful to Dominant: As any Braves fan would tell you, the main reason their 14-year division title streak ended last year was their bullpen. Their relievers blew the most saves in baseball last year. But this year, Atlanta’s bullpen is probably one of the best in the National League. That was proven on Tuesday, when they made up for another bad start by Mark Redman with six shutout innings. Redman, whose 3-inning, 6-run start gave him a 10.12 ERA this season, could and should be demoted from the Braves’ rotation. But the bullpen only allowed three baserunners, and Bob Wickman continued his 0.00 ERA season. The Braves’ offense is heating up as well; seven different players had an RBI as they beat the Marlins 11-6. at 13-7, they are a half-game back from the Mets for division supremacy.

3. Underperformers: The Tigers and Angels are two teams with World Series potential this year, but neither is looking good right now. They played each other on Tuesday to end their two-game set, and the performance by both teams was sloppy. There were 5 combined errors, including one by Tigers closer Todd Jones that led to an Angels victory in the 10th inning. But the Angels shouldn’t be pleased with their play either; they gave up a 7-run lead with an unusually poor effort by their bullpen. Both teams are lucky to be within a game of their division leader, as the Tigers are 11-9 while the Angels are just 10-10. Expect those records to get a lot better as the year goes on.

Player of the Day: Vernon Wells, Blue Jays: 4-5, HR (4), 3 RBIs, 4 runs.

Stat of the Day: When David Wells and Randy Johnson faced each other, it was the first time in MLB history that opposing pitchers were each 43 years or older.

Categories
Golf

CBS says new John Daly spot is long and wrong

John Daly is known for three things: long drives, an alcohol problem, and a slot machine problem to fix his alcohol problem. Giving John Daly a beer is like sending Paul Lo Duca to a sorority house. So what does Maxfli do? They create an ad with John singing in a honkytonk bar, grabbing a beer and driving off in a golf cart. Understandably, CBS didn’t like it.


It did not meet the standards of the CBS network,” spokeswoman LeslieAnn Wade said Tuesday. “Any implied or direct reference to excessive consumption of alcohol would not meet network guidelines.

The Golf Channel, which apparently has no standards, said that the ad passed their test but are looking into possible options like an alternate cut. Meanwhile, the 90 second uncut version of the commercial, which has John saying “I’ll just drink the pitcher, thanks,” teeing off with a beer can, and throwing a beer bottle at a dart board (wha?) was available on the maxfli site. You can check it out below.


John Daly’s Go Long Or Go Home Commercial – Watch the top videos of the week here

Links:
[LA Times]: CBS rejects ad showing Daly and beer

Categories
College Football

Odds and Ends: Florida Gators boosters are doing a poor job


You’d think that a national football and college basketball championship would have the Florida boosters in fine form. But this story about a robbery is an excellent example of how they are just dropping the ball:


On Saturday, a UF student was taking kegs out of his truck when [five] men approached him. One 6-foot-4, 280-pound man attempted to steal his keg, cutting his neck in the process, according to the report. The cut was 5 to 6 inches long, the report states, and it appeared to be the result of a fingernail or ring.

The suspect was a Gator football player who had to be restrained from attacking the victim a few times by four of his teammates. Look at the travesty here. Why does a Florida Gator football player feel the need to rob a man of his keg? Shouldn’t the football players have unlimited access to the local beer distributor? After all, they are champions! For shame, Gator boosters, for shame. (Hat tip: Loserwith socks)

In other news…

[Fish stripes]: Dontrelle Willis pitches as his wife prepares to give birth

[Deseret News]: Andrei Kirilenko and Jerry Sloan just lost in translation

[Ben Maller]: Tigers Sean Casey comes home from a road trip to find his car on cinder blocks at the airport

[The Offside]: A book sheds more light (eccchhhh) on Wayne Rooney nailing a 48 year old grandmother/prostitute

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: Toriiiiii Hunter almost suspended three years for giving champagne

[Lopez@Large]: Yao Ming needs a strong postseason to define his legacy

[WBRS Sports]: The Orioles to offer groupies free mustache ride

And finally, if the Kansas City Royals adopted the My Name is Earl scratch and sniff episode promotion, would it just smell like garbage?

Categories
Soccer

Soccer player gets yellow card instead of black eye after kissing referee

We’re not big soccer fans; in fact, the only times we report on futbol is when riots break out or some chick rips off her shirt after a goal. But a story about a soccer player kissing a ref caught our eye because the referee decided to give his admirer a yellow card for the smooch. Apparently the ref took offense to the sign of affection and started saying “You can’t kiss me. You can’t kiss me.” You can’t blame the guy for getting upset at the kissing bandit; after all, the least he could have done was take him out to dinner first.

This got us thinking about some of the more famous kisses in sports history. What we came up with can be found after the jump.

Links:

[TheOffside]: Defender kisses ref. and gets yellow carded

Continue reading “Soccer player gets yellow card instead of black eye after kissing referee”

Categories
College Football

Colorado State makes the news for all the wrong reasons

Some people say that all press is good press, but the athletic department over at Colorado State might disagree with you on that. First, there was the incident involving wide receiver George Hill and 4-year-old Caden Thomas over the weekend. The boy was on the sidelines during CSU’s spring youth football festival while an intrasquad game took place on the gridiron. In an attempt to catch a TD pass, Hill smashed into the kid and slammed him against the padded wall. To make a long story short; 30 stitches in the head later, lil’ Caden was sent home from the hospital.

It was kind of scary `cause I got bonked by the football,” the boy said, hugging his own football. “It kind of hurted.

Here’s video of Caden getting walloped.

Now, that’s a tough kid. Kellen Winslow Jr. would have been out of commission for six weeks after a hit like that.

But, hey, accidents happen; at least everything worked out for the little guy. Something that was avoidable and has the Colorado State community hiding their faces in disgust was the actions of Xavier Kilby. Kilby is accused of pointing a gun at the head of Ronnie Aguilar, a teammate on the basketball team, early Sunday morning. According to police, Kilby pulled out a revolver after the two argued inside of Kilby’s apartment. After pointing the gun at Aguilar’s head, Kilby aimed at the couch and fired off a single round.

Luckily, nobody was injured in either of the recent black-eye incidents for CSU. Now it they could just become capable of doing as much damage on the field as they do off of it, then the fans of the sports programs could actually having something to cheer about.

Links:

[1.WHDH.com]: Boy recovering after run-in with Colorado State football player
[MSNBC]: Police: CSU player pointed gun at teammate