Categories
Dallas Mavericks

Happy early birthday Dirk!

In case you didn’t know, Dirk Nowitzki will be turning 29 on Tuesday. So what do you get the guy who already has everything? Well, he doesn’t have everything; Dwyane Wade and Baron Davis kinda ruined his last couple of shots at grabbing some championship hardware, but other than that the guy is pretty well set. Life is good when you’re a kick-ass baller and your billionaire boss has a Texas sized crush on you.

Anyways, since we don’t have the funds to buy Dirk a decent b-day present this year, we’re just going to sign our name onto Amber’s card and pass it along to the big guy. After all, it’s the thought that counts, right?

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: Someone Really (And I Mean Really) Likes Dirk Nowitzki

Categories
New York Jets

Turns out Jonathan Vilma is an idiot too


The NFL’s PR staff needs to issue a memo to the players regarding the Michael Vick dog fighting case. “Dear _____: If ever asked about dog fighting and Michael Vick, please reply, ‘Obviously dog fighting is inhumane but since it’s an ongoing investigation, I don’t want to comment on Michael Vick’s involvement.'” Seems simple doesn’t it? But some NFL players can’t keep their big mouths shut.

The latest is Jonathan Vilma. Here’s what he had to say about the Michael Vick dog fighting case:


To be honest with you, I never looked at it one way or another. What people do is …of course dog fighting is much more extreme, but you can equate it to horse racing. You have animal activists that (condemn) horse racing. They feel horses are being tested brutally, whatever the situation is. I’m not an animal activist. To each his own.

Everyone (in the NFL) has heard about dogfighting. Whether you choose to participate or not, that’s your decision. I’m not here to condone it or accept it. It’s been there for awhile….Virginia says it’s a felony. Hey, it’s a felony. There’s nothing to argue there. It is what it is.

Now, we know what Vilma is getting at here but dog fighting is one of those things that you should just go ahead and condemn. It’s like drunk driving — you can’t be for drunk driving or just ambivalent towards it. And to equate dog fighting with horse racing is like equating sex slavery to the WNBA.

Links:
[NY Daily News]: Jet: Dog fights equal horse races

Categories
Atlanta Falcons

Bad Moon is now Bankrupt


Andre Rison played football for 11 years in the NFL but somehow still managed to go bankrupt. He owes $58,000 in child support to his ex-wife and another $46,000 in child support two of his baby’s momma so he faces a court-ordered bankruptcy. He probably would have a little more money if all his stuff hadn’t been burned to a crisp by Left Eye.

In 2005, Rison actually spent a month in the DeKalb County Jail in Georgia for failure to pay $127,000 in child support. He paid $10,000 and was released. Now considering that OJ Simpson is still traveling around and playing golf every day after killing two people (do we really need to be bothered with saying stuff like “accused of killing” anymore?), Rison probably still has a boatload of money left that can’t be touched by the courts. And if he doesn’t, then he’s a bigger idiot than we thought.

Here’s a random factoid about Rison: he once told the police his name was Brock Middlebrook after being cited at a bar fight in Kansas City.

Links:
[Sportsline]: No kidding: Rison ordered into bankruptcy to pay child support

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: It’s all about the pitching


1. 10 wins for Lackey: John Lackey became the majors’ first 10-game winner after another solid start on Wednesday. As the Angels beat the Reds 6-3, Lackey went six innings and allowed just one earned run. He improved to 10-4 on the season with a 2.53 ERA, making him one of the leading candidates to start for the AL in the All Star game. The Angels won their 41st game of the year, tied with the Red Sox for most wins in the majors. Vlad Guerrero broke out of a mini-slump with a 3-5, 4-RBI performance. The Angels will play at Dodger Stadium this weekend in what will be an intriguing showdown between division leaders.

2. West Coast Aces: The Dodgers and Padres are tied for the NL West division lead, and both are helped tremendously by their aces. The Dodgers’ Brad Penny and the Padres’ Jake Peavy have turned into two of the most dominant pitchers in baseball. Both are 8-1 after winning again on Wednesday. Penny allowed one run in seven innings as the Dodgers completed a sweep of the Mets with a 9-1 victory. His 2.18 ERA ranks second in the NL only to Peavy, who has a 1.82 mark. Peavy pitched seven scoreless innings against the Devil Rays and struck out 8. He is now one strikeout behind Cole Hamels for the major league lead. The Padres crushed the D-Rays 9-0, as Tampa starter Edwin Jackson fell to 0-8 with an 8.20 ERA. Jackson is now on pace for an 0-20 record this season.

3. Aces for the Day: Some pitchers that usually aren’t that good pitched very well on Wednesday. Carlos Silva entered a game against the Braves 3-7 with a 4.40 ERA, but he pitched a complete-game shutout. Adam Wainwright of the Cardinals one-hit the Royals in eight innings, lowering his ERA by 0.52. Ian Snell of the Pirates pitched a complete game against the Rangers, allowing just one unearned run. Snell is having a breakout season with a 2.63 ERA and 1.14 WHIP.

Player of the Day: Carlos Silva, Twins: CG, no walks, no runs in a 6-0 win over the Bra

Categories
All Other Sports

It’s time for a wicked shot to the funny bone

The Best Damn Sports Show Period isn’t worth a damn in our opinion. If you think the blowhards over at ESPN are obnoxious and annoying, just try to stomach 15 minutes with Chris Rose and his band of merry men. But we do have to give those losers credit when it is due; they have become the kings of the “Top 50” list. Usually, programs just butcher these kinds of things and leave you more pissed off than appreciative, but not at The Best Damn.

So, without further ado, we give to you the Top 50 Sports Bloopers. Don’t worry, we excluded all the footage of John Salley from the tape.

And considering that there is no No. 1 to cap off the list we thought that we might nominate one of these clips from this numbskull fisherman.

Categories
NFL General

The NFL finally lets Mikey and Jack play dress-up



We’re too sexy for our team branded
Reebok gear.

Roger Goddell might be still be kinda new to his job but he continues to make a huge impact on the league. And more importantly, he’s really impressing the hell out of us.

After battling and battling with the NFL and Reebok the new commish gave San Francisco 49ers head coach Mike Nolan permission to wear a suit on the sidelines. Well, he kind of granted him permission. Nolan can wear a suit during all home games but unfortunately it’s got to be a Reebok suit. You might think that Reebok can only make wind suits or sweat suits but considering they are the official outfitters of NFL coaches, it looks like they had better start learning how to sew up the Armani kind.

But Nolan isn’t the only coach with some class; the Jacksonville Jaguars’ Jack Del Rio was also given the same deal. And why not? If the NFL isn’t going to humiliate the coaches by making them wear uniforms like in MLB, then we say they should spruce the league up a bit and mandate suits for all coaches.

We understand that there is an entire business behind the individuals on the field, but why was this ever an issue in the first place. Don’t we have enough logos plastered all over the players and field already? Do we really have to make sure that there is a Reebok emblem every single time the production booth cuts to a shot of a coach with a laminated piece of paper over his face? And plus, the alternative is that all your coaches could end up looking like a homeless drunken panhandler Bill Belichick.

Links:

[USAToday.com]: NFL grants coaches OK to wear suits on sidelines

Categories
General Sports

June 13 2007 episode of Poor Man’s PTI

Welcome to another episode of Poor Man’s PTI.

You can download this week’s podcast directly (running time 60 mins) or subscribe to the feed.  

If you use iTunes, just click here and then click subscribe and iTunes will take care of the rest.

This week’s topics include:

  • The most boring NBA Finals ever
  • The top 25 greatest sports stories in the past 25 years
  • Genarlow Wilson
  • Elijah Dukes

Hope you guys enjoy the podcast.  If you did enjoy it, please give us a good rating below so we can rise up in the rankings. If you didn’t, send us an email ([email protected]) and give us some suggestions. Thanks for listening.

Categories
Golf

Odds and Ends: OK, enough with John Daly already


John Daly continues to dominate the ‘news that isn’t good enough to write a full entry about.’ Today, John and Sherrie Daly have decided to call a truce in their ongoing spat about who assaulted whom. They have both decided to not press any criminal charges against the other, which just means they wasted a bunch of taxpayer money filing charges with the police and the courts. And we’ve wasted your time covering it.

So no more John Daly stories, folks, unless he actually wins a game or goes O.J. Speaking of which, it’s OJ’s anniversary!

In other news…

[USA Today]: 25 Greatest Sports Stories of the Last 25 Years

[Reuters]: Thai woman set free after winning WBC light-flyweight title

[James Mirtle]: NHL players by nationality… guess by race isn’t much of a chart

[Indystar]: Screw the fans – Colts get their Super Bowl rings tonight in a private ceremony

[Chicago Tribune]: Ditka is surly as hell

Categories
College Basketball

Billy Donovan sucks, but not as bad as these guys


Minor league baseball is notorious for having absolutely gosh awful promotions. Take the retarded gimmickry of the Portland Beavers a while back. Bob L. Head night?! Talk about grasping at straws! Oh, but Portland is not the first, nor the last, to literally scrape the bottom of the creative barrel when it comes to putting asses in the seats. The latest perpetrator of pitiful promotions comes to us from the sunny state of Florida.

The marketing geniuses with the Single-A Fort Myers Miracle came up with the timely idea of having “Billy Donovan Night” after the Gators Magic Gators coach tarnished his legacy and broke the hearts of millions of Orlando fans. So, how exactly to you pay homage to a man who’s know as a lying, backstabbing, two faced, weasely little bastard? Why you make fun of him in some of the most ridiculous fashions possible of course.

All ticket issues will be up for negotiation during the first three innings with a power hungry local attorney serving as the final say in all matters. Everything from ticket price to seat location is up for debate during the brief period of 18 outs.

If it’s a Yankee fan, I’m going to tell them to go take their seat and sit there for the whole nine innings,” (Michael) Hornung said. “I have free reign. I’m judge and jury.

If having a period of negotiation isn’t a feeble enough attempt at humor for you, just wait til you hear about the other cheap shots the Miracle have in store for “Billy Donovan Night.” First, they are going to have a local loser named Billy Donovan throw out the first pitch. Next, waffles will be served to the crowd to commemorate Donovan’s “waffling” behavior. And if that still isn’t stupid enough for you then just stick around until the complimentary hair gel is handed out to poke fun at Billy’s hairdo.

Damn, and we thought this guy made the minor league look ridiculous! The only way this idea could possibly be a success in our eyes is if they hold the game at Rolling Rock Park.

Links:

[SI.com]: Minor-league promotion parodies Billy Donovan

Categories
NBA General

This kid’s timing is perfect (video)

It’s not as funny as a cheerleader getting hit with a basketball but this video of a kid getting hit by an airball full court shot is still damn funny. We’re sure the kid is ok so we can laugh at him now. The timing is amazing. The player couldn’t replicate this shot if he tried.