Tag: video

Categories
Arizona Diamondbacks

Odds and Ends: Chris Snyder redefines the word injury

Other than gasping, dropping to our knees, rolling around on the ground and muttering “uggggh” and “owwww” under our breath, we really don’t know what else to say about this.

Catcher Chris Snyder left Monday night’s game after getting hit by a foul tip in the groin area. About an hour before Tuesday’s game the Diamondbacks put him on the 15-day disabled list with a left testicular fracture.

Snyder will undergo surgery on Wednesday with Melvin hoping his return is relatively soon.

“Hopefully looking at a 15-day period, where he is back after the All-Star break,” Melvin said after the D-Backs 8-6 loss to the Brewers on Tuesday night.

Fractured testicle!? We didn’t even know it was possible to fracture your nuts. Smash, yes. Crush, yes. Pulverize, yes. But fracture? Ugh, we’re starting to get dizzy just talking about it.

In other news…

[The Beardown]: 20 decent reasons to watch the upcoming Olympics

[The Caveman Network]: Manny Pacquiao = Urijah Faber

[HotStoveNewYork.com]: Alex Rodriguez is secretly seeing a dude?!? Nevermind, it’s just Madonna

[Lion in Oil]: Best. Ringtone. Ever.

[The Big Picture]: What’s your favorite MLB lid?

[All Balls]: Best stars meet sports moments

[MMAChump.com]: Dana White is a big softy

[eBaumsWorld.com]: Cheerleader gets cold cocked by an errant pass

[Home Run Derby]: Mariah Carey, eat your heart out

[PartMule.com]: John Daly played beer, golf teed…huh?

And finally, Scott Van Pelt suddenly sounds like the smoothest voicemail pickup artist ever.

Categories
LA Clippers

All of L.A. will soon be sporting Baron Davis beards

Baron Davis stunned the basketball world by bolting from Golden State for one of the most pathetic franchises ever in existence: the Clippers. There’s really only two ways this can work out for B-Dizzle, a) he helps turn around a team’s fortunes, dotting the NBA landscape with two relevant Los Angeles squads or b) he looks back in a few years and says “Dear Lord, what have I done?” Either way, Clipper Nation (if there is such a thing) wins big. The fans finally have a legitimate star to root for and he’s a hometown hero to boot. Davis deserves a lot of credit for making such a gigantic leap of faith, but, frankly, we think the City of Angels owes this guy a beer for being the influencing factor in the move. After all, how could B.D. resist this sultry serenade home?

Categories
New York Giants

"Tom Brady, tell me how my ring tastes"

New York Giants defensive end and reigning Super Bowl champion Osi Umenyiora made a guest appearance on Mike and Mike in the Morning, hosted by a guy named neither Mike nor Mike, and after a little prodding busted out with one of the weakest freestyle raps ever, choosing to aim his venom at the NFL’s resident hottie (so we’re told).

Somewhere out there, Max & Sam are taking some serious notes on how to improve their game. Well, Max is.

Categories
MLB General

Odds and Ends: OneNewsNow.com hops into the trading card game

Trade you a Jack Glasscock for your
Cunnilingus

After OneNewsNow.com’s embarrassing/hilarious mix-up involving sprinter Tyson Homosexual Gay, it was announced that the Christian news website will begin creating sports trading cards. Basically, they’re going to be similar to Garbage Pail Kids, but without the Scratch `n Stink cards. Luckily, TiricoSuave.com was able to get their hands on some of the high-demand cards before they hit the streets. If you thought Potty Scotty and Jason Basin or Adam Bomb and Blasted Billy were hilarious then you’ll love these duos.

Chubby Cox – Girthy Members

Dick Trickle – Phallic Secretion

Albert Pujols – Albert Sodomy Zone

Rusty Kuntz – Unkempt Vaginas

We are absolutely dying to see what they come up with for Lucious Pusey and Craphonso Thorpe.

In other news…

[Arrowhead Addict]: He’s just a rookie, but Glenn Dorsey already has one of the best nicknames in the NFL

[Huggin Harold Reynolds]: “Wes Welker, tell me how my ass tastes”

[FoxNews.com]: “Barack Obama, tell me how my ass tastes”

[TheMMAPost.com]: So, where you watchin’ the big fight on Saturday night?

[The World of Isaac]: How’s your favorite Baywatch babe holding up after 10 years?

[Bugs & Cranks]: MLB’s early season heroes

[The Sporting Blog]: Weedwhacker meets golf club

[The Love of Sports]: Baseball’s 50 strangest moments

[Awful Announcing]: Length? Stretch? Elongated? Extend? Considerable linear extent in space? What the hell was Jay Bilas talking about?

[Deuce of Davenport]: Dwyane Wade and the hardwood. We’ll leave it at that.

And finally, it’s the one-year anniversary of this.

Categories
All Other Sports

Varsity Blue Balls

This summer has already seen some epic movies. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man and Kung Fu Panda rank amongst our absolute favorite blockbusters this summer. Wait, did we just say Kung Fu Panda? Sorry, we meant to say Sex and the City. Anywho, there is still one flick waiting to drop and when it does, the response is going to be phenomenal. That’s right, we’re talking about the highly anticipated Illegal Use of Hands.

Oh, that new Batman flick might be worth watching as well.

Categories
Phoenix Suns

The Shaq/Kobe rivalry reaches new heights

Some of us were actually naïve enough to believe that the feud between Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal was squashed. What fools. These guys still loathe each other with a passion and they will be rivals for the remainder of their careers, nay, their lives. Kobe wants to earn a ring on his own so badly he can taste it (or is that Shaq’s ass that he loves tasting?) and he’s willing to do almost anything to get one. This year he was even desperate enough to involve his teammates. The Diesel, on the other hand, is still the face of the league on a very talented squad and he’s already raised a trophy without KB. So, now he’s just trying to outdo Bryant in other, more important areas of life, like jumping over stuff. It’s not a speeding Aston Martin or a kiddie pool full of snakes, but it’s a start.

By the looks of his new crib, the Daddy definitely underwent a little downsizing following his costly divorce.

Categories
General Sports

Odds and Ends: As if the restrooms at sports stadiums aren’t disgusting enough already


This is seriously one of the sickest old men man ever and he’s exactly why parents need to keep an eye on their kids at all times when attending a ball game.

A man whose trial two years ago made public a long-held fetish for drinking the urine of young boys has surfaced again in the Columbus area.

And according to complaints filed with Dublin police, his fetish still has him helpless to resist it. …

Official reports indicate he has been observed putting Saran wrap on toilet seats in public, sports-related venues with the apparent intent to drink any urine collected there.

It was that practice that drew Patton to the attention of Gahanna authorities in 2006. During his trial, authorities said he collected urine from boys at a movie theater — and at times even paid for it.

Seriously, not even Herbert the Pervert would do something that gross.

In other news…

[More Handy Than Capped]: Nick obviously never saw this before

[The Sports Muffin]: Wazzzup! Beer me!

[CollegeHumor.com]: Karl Malone can’t get a ring in the NBA, so he’s heading to the NHL

[Faded Youth Blog]: Reggie Bush sports the sailor look, complete with big-assed hooker

[AJC.com]: Six Flags isn’t always as much fun as the old dancing dude makes it seem

[YardBarker.com]: Holland has our hearts

[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: (SNARL) The Warrior is back (SNARL) and slower than ever (SNARL)

[Tirico Suave]: You can see it coming from a mile away, but it’s still hilarious

[Tennessean.com]: Pacman’s old crib was massive

[NextRound.net]: A one-fingered salute to flipping the bird

And finally, the best video of a guy catching a batting practice home run ever recorded.

Categories
Soccer

David Beckham’s displays of accuracy and power are unparalleled

We’ve heard of “bending it like Beckham,” but this is more along the lines of “bashing it like Beckham.”


Beckham
Uploaded by bsap11

Interesting, we would have never thought to spray our crotches with water after a blow like that. Of course, our shorts would have already been drenched from the moment we saw the kick coming.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: This Is Probably Not The Way You Want To Block A David Bekham Kick

Categories
All Other Sports

Famous last words: "Somebody have 9-1 dialed"

So, how do you know when it’s time to start on a diet? Well, you could hop on a scale or visit the doctor or take your shirt off in public and see how many people point and giggle OR you can hop on skateboard, attempt to drop into a halfpipe and if the wood smashes underneath your fallen body then it’s time to lay off the Twinkies. After all, those ramps should be able to support the weight of a stoner following a 50-foot freefall.

Categories
LA Lakers

Odds and Ends: Goggles, it’s a Lakers thing

As kids, if you wore glasses then you were probably going to get made fun of. That’s just one of the many sad facts of childhood. However, once kids get older and mature, they realize that making insulting comments about someone’s appearance is ridiculously petty…except in sports. So, here’s On Deck Sports list of the Top 5 Goggled Athletes. Just get a load of these four-eyed freaks.

5. Kurt Rambis

4. James Worthy

3. Horace Grant

2. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

1. Chris Sabo

And let’s not forget about Dwyane Wade who has the thickest set of beer goggles we’ve ever seen on a pro athlete.

In other news…

[The World of Isaac]: Vince Young fails the NBA Wonderlic Test

[MensVogue.com]: Tom Brady and David Beckham are sexy. We get it already!

[FanHouse]: John Daly and Kid Rock go together like cigarettes and strip clubs

[MMARated.com]: Gina Carano talks about being a female badass

[PostingAndToasting.com]: Renaldo Balkman’s New York Knickmobile

[Hugging Harry Reynolds]: Star Wars Sports, starring Eric Mangino as Jabba the Hut

[YouTube.com]: Watch out, the Ax Murderer has a blade!…And he’s shaving another man with it??? WTF?!

And finally, skateboards finally get a small measure of revenge against humans for years of abuse.