Categories
General Sports

John Daly would be perfect as The Penguin. Are you listening, Christopher Nolan?

The latest Batman movie is quickly becoming the most popular ever in the series. And we see no end in sight. The Batman franchise will live forever and as long as hunky actors are willing to strap on the rubber abs and cod piece then so will the Batman movie empire. But to keep things spicy, here are some suggestions for athletes who could play some of the more notorious villains. After all, we all know how incredible athletes are at acting. Right, Darius?

10. The Scarecrow = Bob Sanders
Like Dr. Jonathon Crane, the 5-7 Sanders isn’t physically imposing at first glance. But both Scarecrow and Sanders are masters of creating fear. Just ask any NFL receiver who try to go over the middle against the Colts.

9. Ichiro = Ra’s al Ghul
After hearing about Ichiro’s profanity laced All-Star Game pep talks, is there any doubt that he’d make a great superhero villain? People also seem to believe the impossible from Ra’s al Ghul, which is kind of similar to how everyone thinks Ichiro could hit a lot homers, you know, if he was into that sort of thing.

8. Poison Ivy = Madonna
Though she’s not technically an athlete, Madonna has been at the center of sports biggest story for the last month. Anyways, we’re pretty sure he could kick Mike Fontenot’s ass, so that’s got to count for something.

7. Catwoman = Camilo Villegas
The picture speaks for itself.

6. Mr. Freeze = Greg Norman
Get it, because Norman `freezes’ up in golf’s biggest moments? Come on, I thought it was creative. Plus, Norman’s wife, former tennis star Chris Evert, is old enough to soon be cryogenically frozen. The similarities are remarkable.

5. The Riddler = Ricky Williams
Much like Edward Nigma, you never know what you’re going to get from Williams. One day he was the NFL’s best tailback, the next he quit the league and forfeited millions so he was free to get cheesy.

4. Bane = Shawne Merriman
Both Bane and Merriman seem to possess other worldly strength, and neither did it naturally. Still, I personally have never seen Bane taken out by Maurice Jones Drew. Advantage: Bane.

3. The Joker = Milton Bradley
The Joker is all about anarchy, and I would imagine Milton Bradley shares the same values. Both Joker and Bradley seem to act on a whim, while destruction surrounds them. Just the way they like it.

2. Two Face = Carlos Boozer
Boozer seemed like a good guy at Duke and in Cleveland, just as Harvey Dent did as Gotham’s DA. But both took a turn for the worst. Say what you will about Dent, but at least he never screwed over a blind man.

1. The Penguin = John Daly
Both are fat slobs that moonlight as heroes of the underground. Both have bad vices: for Daly, it’s Hooters and ciggarettes, for Penguin it’s birds and umbrellas. Maybe the strangest coincidence? Both of these freaks are filthy rich.

Links:

[TopTenChicagoSports.com]: Top ten athletes that would make great Batman villains

Categories
Arizona Diamondbacks

Odds and Ends: Chris Snyder redefines the word injury

Other than gasping, dropping to our knees, rolling around on the ground and muttering “uggggh” and “owwww” under our breath, we really don’t know what else to say about this.

Catcher Chris Snyder left Monday night’s game after getting hit by a foul tip in the groin area. About an hour before Tuesday’s game the Diamondbacks put him on the 15-day disabled list with a left testicular fracture.

Snyder will undergo surgery on Wednesday with Melvin hoping his return is relatively soon.

“Hopefully looking at a 15-day period, where he is back after the All-Star break,” Melvin said after the D-Backs 8-6 loss to the Brewers on Tuesday night.

Fractured testicle!? We didn’t even know it was possible to fracture your nuts. Smash, yes. Crush, yes. Pulverize, yes. But fracture? Ugh, we’re starting to get dizzy just talking about it.

In other news…

[The Beardown]: 20 decent reasons to watch the upcoming Olympics

[The Caveman Network]: Manny Pacquiao = Urijah Faber

[HotStoveNewYork.com]: Alex Rodriguez is secretly seeing a dude?!? Nevermind, it’s just Madonna

[Lion in Oil]: Best. Ringtone. Ever.

[The Big Picture]: What’s your favorite MLB lid?

[All Balls]: Best stars meet sports moments

[MMAChump.com]: Dana White is a big softy

[eBaumsWorld.com]: Cheerleader gets cold cocked by an errant pass

[Home Run Derby]: Mariah Carey, eat your heart out

[PartMule.com]: John Daly played beer, golf teed…huh?

And finally, Scott Van Pelt suddenly sounds like the smoothest voicemail pickup artist ever.

Categories
LA Lakers

Odds and Ends: Goggles, it’s a Lakers thing

As kids, if you wore glasses then you were probably going to get made fun of. That’s just one of the many sad facts of childhood. However, once kids get older and mature, they realize that making insulting comments about someone’s appearance is ridiculously petty…except in sports. So, here’s On Deck Sports list of the Top 5 Goggled Athletes. Just get a load of these four-eyed freaks.

5. Kurt Rambis

4. James Worthy

3. Horace Grant

2. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

1. Chris Sabo

And let’s not forget about Dwyane Wade who has the thickest set of beer goggles we’ve ever seen on a pro athlete.

In other news…

[The World of Isaac]: Vince Young fails the NBA Wonderlic Test

[MensVogue.com]: Tom Brady and David Beckham are sexy. We get it already!

[FanHouse]: John Daly and Kid Rock go together like cigarettes and strip clubs

[MMARated.com]: Gina Carano talks about being a female badass

[PostingAndToasting.com]: Renaldo Balkman’s New York Knickmobile

[Hugging Harry Reynolds]: Star Wars Sports, starring Eric Mangino as Jabba the Hut

[YouTube.com]: Watch out, the Ax Murderer has a blade!…And he’s shaving another man with it??? WTF?!

And finally, skateboards finally get a small measure of revenge against humans for years of abuse.

Categories
All Other Sports

Odds and Ends: AAFL – All-Around Failure League


Believe it or not, but yet another football league has gone under. Well, that’s not exactly true because the All American Football League isn’t giving up just yet. The AAFL is being forced to postpone its 2008 opening season until 2009 due to a lack of financial funding.

The league’s chief executive officer, Marcus Katz, said economic conditions forced the decision to scrap plans for this year.

“I invested 29 million dollars in cash to roll out the operations of the league,” Katz told the station, adding he was owed “a lot more money” by a student loan company.

“When I told the board I would subsidize the league, that was before the bond market collapsed,” Katz said.

Say what you will about Vince McMahon’s pathetic XFL, but at least they had an opportunity to prove they sucked on the field.

In other news…

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: The NCAA doesn’t like ESPN

[The Big Lead]: Clay Buchholz scores a perfect dame

[ThePittsburghChannel.com]: Billy Crystal, you’re outta here!

[Smarter Sports Blog]: Reporter flips over covering sled race

[CBS4Denver.com]: Barry Bonds alleged use of roids pays off in a big way…just not for him

[The Swim Aids]: Golfers don’t like the idea of random drug tests

[Jibblescribbits]: Is Alexander Ovechkin the lost love child of Andre the Giant? You decide

[Links Link]: It’s been a bad week for John Daly…wait, aren’t all his weeks bad weeks?

Categories
Golf

Odds and Ends: OK, enough with John Daly already


John Daly continues to dominate the ‘news that isn’t good enough to write a full entry about.’ Today, John and Sherrie Daly have decided to call a truce in their ongoing spat about who assaulted whom. They have both decided to not press any criminal charges against the other, which just means they wasted a bunch of taxpayer money filing charges with the police and the courts. And we’ve wasted your time covering it.

So no more John Daly stories, folks, unless he actually wins a game or goes O.J. Speaking of which, it’s OJ’s anniversary!

In other news…

[USA Today]: 25 Greatest Sports Stories of the Last 25 Years

[Reuters]: Thai woman set free after winning WBC light-flyweight title

[James Mirtle]: NHL players by nationality… guess by race isn’t much of a chart

[Indystar]: Screw the fans – Colts get their Super Bowl rings tonight in a private ceremony

[Chicago Tribune]: Ditka is surly as hell

Categories
Golf

Odds and Ends: Now John Daly’s wife accuses him of assault


Man, it’s a regular soap opera at the Daly household. A couple of days after John accused her of attacking him with a steak knife, Sherrie Daly is now claiming that he was drunk off his ass (must have been filming another Maxfli ad) and attacked her and scratched himself to cover it up.

John denied her account of the story but said he was not planning on filing criminal charges. The scratch marks on his face are a little too conveniently placed. We need a CSI: Golf Channel to solve this one.

In other news…

[Indystar]: A massage therapist is suing Nike because of their reps beat his ass

[Sign On San Diego]: Victoria Beckham will do anything for publicity

[Fox]: The Orlando Magic offer to refund season tickets sold after Billy Donovan was hired

[Baltimore Sun]: Ethics trial begins for Duke lacrosse prosecutor

[Yahoo]: Jamaican police say Pakistan’s cricket coach died of natural causes, not strangulation

[10,000 Takes]: Most Overrated Things In Minnesota Sports

[Rivalfish]: Sports logos and their celebrity lookalikes

[Our Book of Scrap]: Throw The Bonds 756 Ball Back?

Categories
Golf

Odds and Ends: John Daly’s wife is insane


John Daly’s wife Sherrie decided to celebrate the 6th anniversary of their meeting by assaulting him with a steak knife and clawing up his face. Big John showed up Saturday with a scratched up face. According to the sheriff’s department, he called them to report an assault by his wife on Friday night. The couple met six years ago at the St. Jude Classic and married 53 days later. Unfortunately for John, in redneck circles, the 7th anniversary is known as the “chainsaw anniversary”. Watch out big guy.

In other news…

[USA Today]: Nugget DerMarr Johnson tasered outside nightclub

[Chron.com]: Nugget JR Smith injured in SUV accident

[KOAA]: Two Trinidad men are accused of murder after arm wrestling match

[AJC]: Georgia Bulldogs football: running a tight ship since… never

[Sports By Brooks]: He’s an actor so maybe he can act like she doesn’t look like a man

[TrojanWire]: Who the hell is Charlie Weisu?

[James Mirtle]: Probably best not to read this article if you don’t like Gary Bettman

Categories
Golf

CBS says new John Daly spot is long and wrong

John Daly is known for three things: long drives, an alcohol problem, and a slot machine problem to fix his alcohol problem. Giving John Daly a beer is like sending Paul Lo Duca to a sorority house. So what does Maxfli do? They create an ad with John singing in a honkytonk bar, grabbing a beer and driving off in a golf cart. Understandably, CBS didn’t like it.


It did not meet the standards of the CBS network,” spokeswoman LeslieAnn Wade said Tuesday. “Any implied or direct reference to excessive consumption of alcohol would not meet network guidelines.

The Golf Channel, which apparently has no standards, said that the ad passed their test but are looking into possible options like an alternate cut. Meanwhile, the 90 second uncut version of the commercial, which has John saying “I’ll just drink the pitcher, thanks,” teeing off with a beer can, and throwing a beer bottle at a dart board (wha?) was available on the maxfli site. You can check it out below.


John Daly’s Go Long Or Go Home CommercialWatch the top videos of the week here

Links:
[LA Times]: CBS rejects ad showing Daly and beer

Categories
Golf

August 11 in Sports History: John Daly wins PGA Championship


In 1991: An unknown rookie qualifier named John Daly shocked the golf world by winning the PGA Championship at Crooked Stick in Indiana. Daly, who only made the field when another golfer dropped out, shot a 276 and defeated Bruce Lietzke by 3 shots. Known as Long John for his booming drives off the tee (at least we think), Daly would become one of the most popular golfers on the tour despite only five wins in 15 years. He would be just as well known for his life off the golf course. Daly has battled alcoholism, a gambling addiction and a slew of ex-wives throughout his professional career.

In 1951: The New York (baseball) Giants lost to the Phillies 4-0, while the Brooklyn Dodgers beat the Braves 8-1 (in the first ever game televised in color). The loss put the Giants 13 1/2 games behind the Dodgers in the National League standings with 49 games left to play. The Giants would eventually make one of the biggest comebacks in baseball history, leaping over three teams to tie the Dodgers on the last day of the season. The rivals would play a best-of-three playoff, with the Giants winning the pennant on Bobby Thompson’s famous home run, which became known as “the shot heard ‘round the world.”

In 2005: Philadelphia Eagles’ wide receiver Terrell Owens was sent home for the week during training camp after a shouting match with Head Coach Andy Reid. Owens, who reported to camp unhappy with his current contract (“only” seven years, $49 million), supposedly told Reid to “shut up” in a team meeting. Owens returned to his home in New Jersey, where he did a bizarre series of interviews while working out in his front yard. Owens would continue his feud with Reid and quarterback Donovan McNabb throughout the regular season. He was suspended from the Eagles for the remainder of the season in November for criticizing the team for not recognizing his 100th career touchdown reception and for reportedly getting into a fist-fight with Hugh Douglas. He signed with the Dallas Cowboys in the offseason.

Categories
NBA General

Charles Barkley is a big black whale

In the wake of John Daly’s admission that he lost over $50 million gambling, Charles Barkley has come out and said that he’s lost about $10M in gambling.


Yeah, I do have a gambling problem. But I don’t consider it a problem because I can afford to gamble… It’s not a problem. If you’re a drug addict or an alcoholic, those are problems. I gamble for too much money. As long as I can continue to do it I don’t think it’s a problem. Do I think it’s a bad habit? Yes, I think it’s a bad habit. Am I going to continue to do it? Yes, I’m going to continue to do it.

When I gamble I should be playing $1,000 a hand instead of $20,000 a hand, because if I played for $1,000 a hand I probably could lose $50,000 to $100,000 instead of millions of dollars.

This sounds suspiciously like John Daly’s quote that he should be playing $25 slot machines instead of $5000 slot machines. Here are 20 questions for Mr. Daly and Mr. Barkley.

Can you imagine Barkley and Daly meeting at the all you can eat buffet in between gambling binges? Man we’d hate to be within food-flyin distance of that mess.

Links:
[Yahoo]: Barkley says he’s lost about $10 million gambling