We hate award shows and that includes the ESPY’s. But ever since we missed LeBron James dunking his infant, we’ve been rethinking our decision to skip the Worldwide Leader in Sports little banquet. Then we saw this and now we know we made the right choice all along.
So disappointing, we were expecting a lot more. Guess we just got spoiled by “Dick in a Box.”
When Germany and Turkey get together on the pitch, you know it’s going to be a battle. A noggin-knocking, face-bleeding, head-splitting, skull-stapling war! Yup, skull-stapling.
Remember back in the good ol’ days when running backs where the most important position in the fantasy football universe. Well, thanks to the two-back system sensation that is sweeping the NFL nation, those days appear to be over; at least, according to WhatIfSports.com. They released their 08 season predicitions this week and the QBs are defiantly the dominant species with seven in the top 10 and 10 appearing in the top 15. Here’s their breakdown of the top 10 scorers overall.
1. Tom Brady, QB, Patriots
2. Peyton Manning, QB, Colts
3. Tony Romo, QB, Cowboys
4. LaDanian Tomlinson, RB, Chargers
5. Brian Westbrook, RB, Eagles
6. Drew Brees, QB, Saints
7. Derek Anderson, QB, Browns
8. Carson Palmer, QB, Bengals
9. Adrian Peterson, RB, Vikings
10. Eli Manning, QB, Giants
Just for comparisons sake, here’s a quick rundown of the projected top 10 players prior to the 2007 season as seen by SI.com:
2. Steven Jackson, RB, Rams
3. Larry Johnson, RB, Chiefs
4. Frank Gore, RB, 49ers
5. Shaun Alexander, RB, Seahawks
6. Willie Parker, RB, Steelers
7. Rudi Johnson, RB, Bengals
8. Brian Westbrook, RB, Eagles
9. Peyton Manning, QB, Colts
10. Joseph Addai, RB, Colts
In other news…
[The Beardown]: Buy Tiger Woods’ apple cores??
[Tirico Suave]: Maricopa County sheriff asks “Shaq, tell me how my ass tastes”
[Giants Football Blog]: Michael Strahan reveals Jeremy Shockey wants out of NYC. Well, duh!
[Deuce of Davenport]: KITT is still cooler than the Hoff
[Bugs & Cranks]: Attack of the broken bat
[Sportaphile.com]: Kobe Bryant continues to take a beating, this time from rapper Nas
[PartMule.com]: “Holy Jesus, look at the butt on that”
[YouTube.com]: You can find Chuck Liddell in the club
[Epic Carnival]: Yippee!! It’s National Sports Bra Week
[Home Run Derby]: The Jheri Curl All-Stars
And finally, crunk is officially dead. Let the era of mumbles begin.
If you can’t make it out to the driving range and you’ve really got an itching to smack some balls then the safest place to aim would be into a massive body of water, right? Well, sorta; depends on who you’re trying to protect.
Incredible Golf Ball Ricochet Accident – Watch more free videos
The video of Shaquille O’Neal asking Kobe Bryant to describe the flavor of his ass has become an internet sensation and the hot topic of the sports world. And as classic as the clip is, there is always room for improvement. So, here’s the Fat Jewish Guy‘s remix. Enjoy.
An Alabama middle school teacher is facing 20 years on sex abuse offenses after getting busy with nearly the entire baseball team! We’re guessing her defense will be it was all just a means of expressing team spirit.
Julie Pritchett began a relationship with a 15-year-old boy in February. The 34-year-old married teacher later approached other members of the team for sex.
The incidents allegedly took place both on school premises and at the boys’ homes while their parents were out.
She was discovered when one of the 15-year-old boys at the school, in the town of Trussville, Alabama, told his parents. They alerted the police.
Pritchett, who taught at Clay-Chalkville Middle School, has been charged with two counts of sedomy and one count of sexual abuse.
Eat your heart out, Pokey Chatman.
In other news…
[MentalFloss.com]: Test your NBA Draft fashion knowledge
[Larry Brown Sports]: So, who’s going third in the NBA Draft?
[OrlandoSentinel.com]: Vince McMahon was almost killed during RAW. No, for real this time!
[Bleacher Report]: Is it really possible to hate anything about college football?
[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: Don Imus will never learn his lesson
[NextRound.net]: Top 30 porn names in Major League Baseball
[YouTube.com]: “On today’s episode of Will It Blend?: A baseball!”
[MMARated.com]: Jesse Taylor talks about being a total douche
[NYPost.com]: Dude #1: “Dude, wanna skateboard from Chicago to New York?”
Dude #2: “Dude, totally!”
[FoxNews.com]: Wait, did you just say “crap cannon?”
And finally, from Tirico Suave (via Busted Coverage), quite possibly the funniest video of all-time.
Everyone and their momma knew Shaquille O’Neal was wetting himself in glee after the Boston Celtics disposed of the Los Angeles Lakers in the Finals last week. However, we actually hoped Shaq was going to take the high road on this one, choosing not to remind Kobe that he couldn’t win the big one without the Big Aristotle. Of course, that would mean Shaq doesn’t hold grudges and we all know that isn’t true. So, in reality, it was only a matter of time before O’Neal let loose on his former teammate, but we never expected it to come in the form of freestyle.
Mean spirited or playful banter? You be the judge. The only thing we know for certain is that the phrase “Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes” has officially become the most hilarious seven words ever uttered in the world of sports.
The use of steroids and other performance enhancing drugs has virtually marred the game of Major League Baseball unrecognizable. Nobody can jack a dinger or throw a 100-mph heater anymore without some level of scrutiny and doubt being cast upon their true abilities. And rightfully so. But one place we never ever thought would be tainted by the corruption of drug use was the the ball kids’ clubhouse. We were wrong.
The guys over at Rumors and Rants are still stewing over the fact that a virtual-nobody in the NBA like
Marko Jaric can be engaged to megamodel Adrianna Lima. Hey, aren’t we all? But Jaric isn’t the only lucky bastard in the world of sports. So, here’s their list of “The Luckiest Guys In Sports History.”
Jim Sorgi – Peyton Manning’s Backup
Sam Cassell – 2008 Celtics
Eric Gagne – 2007 Boston Red Sox
Scott Podsednik – Married to Lisa Dergan
Christian Laettner – The Dream Team
Tony Romo – The Tail He Pulls
Jud Buechler – Three Titles With The Bulls
Jeremy Shockey – Giants Super Bowl Win
And speaking of lucky, there’s no way we can forget about this lucky dog.
In other news…
[Undrafted Free Agent]: Javon Kearse does his best Cedric Benson impersonation
[SI.com]: Pele gets no respect from the younger generation
[Pyle of List]: Sports movie coaches nominated for the HOF
[CNN.com]: 8-year-old knows more about baseball than most beat reporters
[Tirico Suave]: George Carlin, you will be missed greatly
[Mondesishouse.com]: A day of indulgence
[COEDMagazine.com]: The Babes of Wimbledon 2008
[CollegeOTR.com]: Celebrities’ kid’s colleges revealed
[JoshQPublic.com]: Worst. Strip club. Ever.
[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: Worst. Rap battle. Ever.
And finally, here’s a guy dropping a subtle hint that he really, really wants a pool.
We’ve never really been fans of lacrosse, but the two dudes in this next clip have us searching the web to find the nearest indoor lacrosse game.
Lacrosse Fight – Watch more free videos
And while we’re on the subject of fighting, here’s a video we found displaying why you should never bring your kid brother to a throw down. Warning: Get out the earmuffs for the youngsters before watching.
