The next time you’re taking in a sporting event and some loser with a microphone comes over and invites you to “play a game” on the field or court, don’t let your excitement get the best of you. They might offer you lavish prizes, but you must resist. And if they ever, and we mean ever, try to put a blindfold on you, just start running like a chicken with it’s head cut off. Of course, take the blindfold off first.
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[Awful Announcing]: Ashley Could…Go…All…The…Wait Ashley! Stop Ashley!!!
Every single day the world of reality and the world of virtual reality blend a little more and with modern technology and creative ingenuity continually breaking new ground there has been an outcry for more interactivity in today’s video games. The Nintendo Wii is a perfect example as players can now experience 18 holes without ever leaving the comfort of their living room. But there is such a thing as being too realistic.
In Japan, 150 interactive arm wrestling games have been wreaking havoc on potential Lincoln Hawks as the mechanical arm that is used in the game has been actually breaking the arms of its human opponents. Three people had their bones snapped by the machine that simulates arm wrestling against various levels of opponents, such as a French maid, a pro wrestler, a sauced up martial arts master and a Chihuahua!
The Distributor Atlus Co. intends to remove the machines from local arcades and will check for malfunctions in the “Arm Spirit” game, but a spokeswoman for the company feels certain that the machine isn’t at fault for the injuries and basically calls the Japanese people puny weaklings.
The machine isn’t that strong, much less so than a muscular man. Even women should be able to beat it,” said Atlus spokeswoman Ayano Sakiyama, calling the recall “a precaution.
Guess people are going to have to return to the old fashioned, non-virtual way of getting their arms busted:
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[CBS11TV.com]: Arm Wrestling Machine Recalled For Breaking Arms
In case you weren’t watching the preseason game between the Titans and Redskins on Saturday (and if you weren’t: how dare you!) there was a wild play towards the end of the game in which Washington defensive tackle Lorenzo Alexander sacked Titans QB Tim Rattay. What makes the play so crazy is that Alexander lost his helmet during his pursuit and as he tackled Rattay, he took a nasty shot from safety Reed Doughty that left him feeling lightheaded with slashes to his lip and cheek that unbelievably required just six stitches to close up.
But the beat down wasn’t for nothing because Alexander ended up receiving a really cool nickname as a result of his wounds: Scarface. If you missed the helmetless tackle then here’s a clip with what very well could be a future Monday Night Football announcer calling the action.
Watch your back Jaws, this lady is coming for your job!
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[HamptonRoads.com]: `Scarface’ Alexander makes his mark as a hit man
While we’re not real big on skateboarding or the whole X Games scene, we gotta admit that we were blown away by this clip. Apparently, the X Games have an event called Big Air where competitors go racing down a gigantic ramp, jump a huge gap and then go hurtling up another ramp in order to gain as much air as possible on the second jump. Sounds like fun, right? Wrong.
Jake Brown found out the hard way after he pulled off a pretty nifty 720 over the gap, but ended up losing control on the second ramp which left him looking at a free fall from close to 50 feet in the air!
Amazingly, Brown walked away under his own power and was taking to the hospital for evaluations. Brown even received the silver medal in the competition. It’s not too often that you can get a medal for nearly splattering like a cantaloupe at the bottom of a ramp.
So, we were actually watching FSN last night and what’s more embarrassing is that we were watching The Best Damn Sports Show. But, we have a good excuse; see, they ran one of their Top 50 countdowns and it took a look back at the most devastating hits in sports history. As always, they managed to bring us a painful, painful clip that we had never seen before. So, unfortunately, we have to give them some credit, gosh darnit. Here’s the second most devastating hit in sports history:
And in case you were wondering, here’s a look at their No. 1.
While we don’t do a lot of rugby reporting, you’ll never catch us calling rugby players soft; especially after we heard about Ben Czislowski. Back on April 1, Czislowski was rugby-ing it up for his Australian club (Wynnum) against the appropriately named Tweed Heads when he had a nasty collision with the competition’s Matt Austin. Czislowski’s head had to be stitched up, but it’s all in a day’s work for rugby dudes, right? Not quite.
Four months later, Czislowski went to the doctor because he was suffering from pains in his head and felt lethargic. The good doctor quickly discovered the source of Ben’s problem: Austin’s tooth was embedded in his head!!
“I’ve got the tooth at home, sitting on the bedside table,” he said. “‘If he (Austin) wants it back he can have it. I’m keeping it at the moment as proof that it actually happened.
Now, we know that having a tooth stuck in your head for four months has got to be totally lame, but we’re still trying to decide on how it compares to having a pearly white lodged in other parts of your anatomy. Hmm, this sounds like a question for Mick Foley. Oh, Mick…
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[Metro.Co.UK]: Rugby player finds tooth stuck in head
You might think that golf courses already have enough obstacles and challenges to maneuver around, considering all the rough, sand and water everywhere. But there are plenty of other things to worry about as well. Like rabid otters and man eating alligators.
Bruce Burger was playing a round on Monday when his ball found its way into the drink at the sixth hole at a Venice, Florida golf club. As Burger went to grab his ball, an 11-foot alligator chomped down onto his right forearm and yanked the hacker into the pond. But Burger wasn’t going down without a fight and he beat the tar out of the gator with his free hand until its jaws unclamped. After being rushed to the hospital, it was determined that Burger had only sustained minor injuries.
When the beast was finally captured, its official size measured 10 feet, 11 inches and, like Stu Scott, it only had one eye. And while it’s hard to feel too much sympathy for a guy who ignored a “Beware of Alligator” sign before sticking his arm in the water, we’d figure that the course manager might pretend to actually care.
Hopefully, the course at least threw a bone to the guy a kicked down a free round or something. Actually, one of those extendable ball retrievers would probably be a more fitting offering.
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[ABCNews.Go.com]: Golfer Survives Gator Attack in Florida
It’s not as funny as a cheerleader getting hit with a basketball but this video of a kid getting hit by an airball full court shot is still damn funny. We’re sure the kid is ok so we can laugh at him now. The timing is amazing. The player couldn’t replicate this shot if he tried.
Kids (boys) love to fight; simple as that. And they are going to do anything to get their fix of physicality. So, now there is a new sensation sweeping the youth of the nation and it is called helmet boxing. Basically, it’s boxing while wearing helmets and gloves and it occurs anywhere and everywhere you can find kids who are willing to beat the crap out of each other. It could be in the front yard, the back yard, the neighbor’s yard, the living room, the locker room, the bath room…we think you get the idea.
Apparently these kids think that adding helmets and a ref to the street fights make them safe, but a lot of times these brawls go until someone gets knocked the F out and business is picking up in emergency rooms because of it.
Now, we’re not saying that this doesn’t look like fun; in fact, we’re off to grab our old lacrosse gear out of the closet as we speak, but we can understand why parents would be pissed off about this. But hey, it’s beats the hell out of letting your kids handle their problems with each other like this:
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[MySA.com]: Dangerous helmet boxing growing in popularity
Anybody who has played baseball at any level has probably felt the pain of a fastball shot to the body. And for an unlucky few of you out there, you’ve even felt the sting of a ball to the head. Well, add Minnesota outfielder Torii Hunter to that list.
In the second inning of yesterday’s game against the Royals Hunter took a nasty pitch to face from Zack Greinke. For a second it looks like Hunter is ready to rumble over the beaning but as he heads to the mound the pain must have reached the neurons and receptors in his brain and he did a pretty little pirouette before dropping to his hands and knees. It was all very Wile E. Coyote-ish. But Hunter shook it off and walked off the field under his own power before getting three stitches to repair a cut on the left side of his mouth. Are you learning anything from this, D-Wade?
Bonus photo of Torii Hunter after the doctor stitched him up afterr the jump.
