You might think that NBA cheerleaders are just hot bodies gyrating in tight spandex outfits, but you’d be wrong. It takes a whole lot more than just a pretty face to make in the pros. These chicks are tough. Well, at least this Jazz cheerleader can take a wallop.
Wow, the last time we saw a member of the Jazz involved in a collision like that was when Karl Malone tried to decapitate Isiah Thomas in the early 90s.
As much as we love sports, we really can’t stand soccer. There is just absolutely nothing appealing to us about the sport. Sure, the rest of the free world can’t get enough of the stuff, but we really don’t care if we never see one more second of soccer footage for the rest of our lives. In fact, if we do see another soccer highlight then we’re going to have to…wait, what? Soccer guys getting kicked in the nads? Roll it!
We stand corrected; this sport isn’t so bad after all.
When you think about tug-of-war, you usually don’t think about the possibility for serious injury. After all, it’s just a bunch of people pulling on a rope. What’s the worst thing that could happen, the fat guy serving as anchor falls on his butt? Wrong, try having your hands cut off.
Parker (Colorado) police said Henry Barrett and Mitch Helfer were injured in the gymnasium of Lutheran High School last Friday during a homecoming pep rally event. They were part of a tug-of-war team of 40 to 50 juniors who were competing with 40 to 50 seniors.
After Barrett and Helfer wrapped the rope around their hands and tugged, the rope tightened and cut deeply into the bottom part of their hands and across their knuckles.
“It’s something I don’t think you would want to wish on any student body — to observe something (like that) that is happening in your gymnasium,” said Randy Lowe, CEO of the Colorado Lutheran High School Association.
It sounds like the kids are recovering which is good news, but these guys have a long recovery road in front of `em. We’re hoping that Hulk Hogan took notice of this horrible accident. If you do nothing else as host of the revamped American Gladiators, we beg you Hulkster, please pull all the necessary strings to have Tug-O-War banned. That event totally sucked before we even knew it was dangerous.
Links:
[CBS4Denver.com]: Parker Students Recover After Tug-Of-War Accident
Charlie Shannon is a one-footed football player. If that sounds like the opening line of stupid joke to you then you’d be completely off base. You’ve come to the wrong place if you’re looking for sophomoric humor like that. And if you started giggling in anticipation of what you thought was coming next then shame on you.
Shannon lost his foot to a wicked lawnmower accident when he was just 2 years old. In addition to losing most of his right foot, he also part of his leg muscle and his buttocks. But that didn’t stop Charlie from pursuing and excelling at football. He says that he doesn’t consider himself disabled and because of it, he is on his Iowa high school varsity team where he plays both center and nose guard.
When interviewed by Dan Withers, Shannon made clear how he is exactly like all the other kids who take to fields across America. Yup; just your regular ol’, normal, boring jock. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary here.
Okay, you can laugh guilt free now.
Links:
[11Alive.com]: One-legged Football Player Triumphs
If you’ve never taken a soccer ball to the face then congratulations because you are one of the lucky ones. The rest of have all felt the sting of having Spalding slapped across out forehead. But everyone has at least seen someone get pounded by a ball. Well, you’ve never seen it quite like this:
Ho-ly crap! That was so sweet.
Links:
[Our Book of Scrap]: Little Girl Eats Soccer Ball
Dan Boyle of the Tampa Bay Lightning is going to be out of commission for the next four to six weeks after having surgery on Sunday. You might be thinking that his injury was a broken arm or leg, torn ACL, missing eyeball or something else real `manly.’ Well, the injury was gross and painful in nature, but we’re not too sure how `manly’ it is to slice yourself up with your own skate.
Frankly, we’re surprised that this kind of stuff doesn’t happen more often. After all, these guys are flying around on slippery ice with razorblades attached to their feet. Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen if you ask us. But you don’t have to take our word for it, Mr. Most Gruesome Sports Injury will inform you all about the inherit dangers associated with hockey.
Links:
[Fox Sports]: Loose skate severs three tendons
Yeah, it’s Monday and, yeah, life kinda stinks when you have to leave your weekends of football and ice coldies for another five days of slaving for the man. Well, here’s a great way to let out some of that left over aggression or to pick you back up from a Monday morning let down. Of course, you have to find an idiot friend who’s willing to be a human target for you, but that shouldn’t be too difficult.
Any volunteers?
Links:
[Our Book of Scrap]: Human Target Practice Using Golf Balls
We’ve brought you plenty of crazy `sports’ in the past; some of `em were pretty cool, some of `em were complete wastes of time, *cough**cough*finger jousting*cough*. But we think we might have hit another homer with the discovery of our latest favorite pastime. So, without further ado, we bring to you BallBall, or, as it is more commonly known, “the sport for idiots.” While we couldn’t agree more with the catchy moniker, we also can’t wait to give it a go.
Links:
[Seal Clubbers]: This Is Gold Jerry! Gold!
We’ve known for some time now that wrestling can beget a little butt hole penetrating `prank’ or two. Or maybe they’re legitimate moves, what the hell do we know? We try to keep our anuses away from other peoples’ fingers at all costs. But now we’re finding out that the anal rapes have jumped into the hallowed high school football locker rooms of America. Okay, maybe not all of them (at least we hope not), but these disturbing behaviors did infest Donna High School in Texas and now the victim is suing the school district and his former coaches for turning a brown eye to the problem.
Four players were indicted on charges that they participated in 2004 and 2005 in holding down the younger players and trying to insert a gloved finger into the anuses of the victims.
Each has since pleaded guilty to lesser charges or arranged separate punishments with prosecutors.
The lawsuit claims the district maintained customs and policies that encouraged hazing and neglected to investigate complaints of abuse.
It seeks unspecified “punitive” damages.
Hey, while this totally sucks, uh …, ass, at least the bastards were limiting themselves to “a gloved finger” when it came time to go mud digging. Some sick people will just rape you with the first thing they can find.
Links:
[ABC13.com]: Former player sues school district, coaches over sex hazing
We make no secrets about it; we just love watching guys crumple in pain after a perfectly placed shot to the nuts. Then we found out that there is an entire sport dedicated to our passion. It’s called Groinball and it’s got rules and everything. At least the YouTube description says it does.
And all these years we never realized that by trying to whack little Timmy from down the street in the package with a racquetball we were really on the verge of creating sport. With just a lil’ more innovation, we could have been these losers. Damn!
