All Other Sports

Rugby viewers get bonus porn scene between scrums

Remember way, way, way back in the day when you and your friends all gathered around the television set for a good, clean day of food, football and booze, then, suddenly, it was all ruined made even more awesome because of some nipple slippage rippage during the game’s halftime performance? You guessed it, we’re talking about Super Bowl XXXVIII. As male adults, we all loved it. However, the parents of younger children were far less excited about the whole ordeal; in fact, many were downright outraged. So, can you just imagine the hellish fury that would be unleashed if this were to happen in America?

Fans who tuned into New Zealand’s Prime TV yesterday afternoon were exposed to four minutes of hardcore pornography instead of a rugby match.

The network’s owner, Sky, blames the mix-up on a technical problem. The feed was intended for a different channel. “We apologize for any offense which may have been caused,” spokesman Tony O’Brien tells The New Zealand Herald.

TVNZ reports that regulators have received at least one formal complaint about the incident.

“(I was) horrified! It is not the sort of thing I want my 12-year-old to see on TV,” Lorraine Watts tells ONE News. “It was a full blown sex scene.”

“Full blown sex scene,” you say. Hmmm, did one of the participants happen to be named Mr. Boston?

On a side note, VH1’s “I Love Money” is gonna be CRAZY!


[]: Oops: Station airs pornography in place of rugby match
[Steady Burn]: Kids Rugby Broadcast Accidentally Spliced with Porn

All Other Sports

Rugby player works the shocker during a game

We’ve heard of hitting below the belt, but since when did the strategy turn to fingering inside the anus?

All Other Sports

Apparently, there’s no rule against biting in rugby

While we don’t do a lot of rugby reporting, you’ll never catch us calling rugby players soft; especially after we heard about Ben Czislowski. Back on April 1, Czislowski was rugby-ing it up for his Australian club (Wynnum) against the appropriately named Tweed Heads when he had a nasty collision with the competition’s Matt Austin. Czislowski’s head had to be stitched up, but it’s all in a day’s work for rugby dudes, right? Not quite.

Four months later, Czislowski went to the doctor because he was suffering from pains in his head and felt lethargic. The good doctor quickly discovered the source of Ben’s problem: Austin’s tooth was embedded in his head!!

I can laugh about it now, but the doctor told me it could have been serious, with teeth carrying germs,” said Czislowski.

“I’ve got the tooth at home, sitting on the bedside table,” he said. “‘If he (Austin) wants it back he can have it. I’m keeping it at the moment as proof that it actually happened.

Now, we know that having a tooth stuck in your head for four months has got to be totally lame, but we’re still trying to decide on how it compares to having a pearly white lodged in other parts of your anatomy. Hmm, this sounds like a question for Mick Foley. Oh, Mick…


[Metro.Co.UK]: Rugby player finds tooth stuck in head

All Other Sports

Former Rugby player punches man for calling him a poof

Proving once again that women might be the bane of every man’s existence, a former Australian rugby player was put on two years probation after punching a man for calling him a poof. Meli Allen was wearing a purple cashmere sweater because his girlfriend had bought it for him and he didn’t want to offend her.

Allen claimed that he punched Ryan Phillpot last November because one of his friends said, “You poof, you [email protected] fag,” to Allen. When Allen approached them, they continued to insult them so he punched one of them in the nose.

The beauty of this news item is that it gives us the opportunity to post one of our favorite segments from Arrested Development, the greatest short-lived show on television.

[]: Ex-footy player punched man over jumper

Chicago Bulls

Odds and Ends: Rugy player on the DL after tripping over daughter

This is making an early bid into our upcoming Dumbest Off-Field Injuries feature. An Australian rugby player named David Kidwell tore ligaments in his knee and will be out the rest of the season after tripping over his two-year-old daughter. The injury was caused as he fell akwardly trying to avoid crushing his daughter.

Playing 10 years of first grade and no knee problems and something like this happens at home,” Kidwell told Australian Associated Press on Monday. “That’s definitely my season. I’m pretty shattered.

In other news…

[]:Luc Longley: Greatest Australia Hero

[DNA India]: Field Hockey player points gun at doctor in hospital over sick daughter

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: Chuck Klosterman stealing paychecks

[Our Book of Scrap]: Finger Jousting is taking your mall by storm

[Sports Law Blog]: Why Does Tanking Occur in the NBA but Seemingly Not in Other Leagues?

And finally, just in time for the return of Entourage, a NSFW pic of Emmanuelle Chriqui.

General Sports

Hey Carmelo, this is how you throw a punch

Ho ho ho this!

We don’t usually report on the world of rugby, but this incident had us reminiscing back to the Malice in the Palace when Ron Artest went, well Ron Artest on a fan in the stands. David Stern should keep this in mind should another mentally imbalanced NBAer decide to partake in a similar showdown between player and spectator.

Trevor Brennan is a forward for the Toulouse rugby club who got fed up with being taunted by a fan of the opposing team back in late January and decided to take action into his own hands and go, well Ron Artest on his ass. After having beer poured on him (hmm, Artest didn’t seem to like that either) and having his mother insulted, Brennan hopped into the stands and knocked the Christmas cap right off the head of an Ulster fan who was obviously still full of the holiday spirit.

Brennan had been suspended from the league since the episode occurred and eventually announced his retirement, but that didn’t stop the European Rugby Cup from dishing out some punishment of their own. The ERC has banned Brennan for life and fined him $33,250; in addition to $6,650 he has been ordered to pay to guy he punched.

It was the view of the committee that Mr. Brennan’s behavior was completely unjustified and that he caused serious harm to an innocent spectator and significant damage to the image of rugby union,” the three-man disciplinary panel said. “The committee could not envisage more serious misconduct in relation to spectators and believed that the maximum permissible suspension was appropriate.

A 73 game suspension suddenly doesn’t sound very harsh.



All Other Sports

Thankfully it was #1

It seems the All Blacks have been in the news a lot lately, but mostly for non-rugby related items. On Saturday, before a game against the Wallabies, All Blacks forward Jerry Collins felt the call of nature and decided that the only place to answer it was right there on the field.

Assistant coach Steve Hansen defended his player.

If you’re a male and you’re about to play a Test match and you’re seconds away from kick-off and you get the urge to want to go to the toilet – what do you do? Do you rush off and let the game start with 14 men or do you try to be as discreet as you can be and hope that cameramen use common sense and don’t go showing it to everyone on the screen?

Imagine if this was Randy Moss. All hell would break loose. Here’s the video of the incident.

[Sydney Morning Herald]: What to do when nature calls?
[Sydney Mornign Herald]: Other relieving incidents from sports history

All Other Sports

Now that’s some international trash talkin’

About a month ago, we told you about “the handbag incident” involving two members of the All Blacks, a New Zealand rugby team. (Here’s the short synopsis: two All Blacks go to a bar and one gets into a fight, one of them grabs a handbag and hits the other on the head, the hittee starts crying.) Well, the handbag rears its ugly head again.

Ahead of the Tri Nations rugby tournament, a television station has created a hilarious ad with footage of the All Blacks doing their bad-ass Maori war chant, the haka. However, they digitally added in some large womens handbags. Understandably, the All Blacks aren’t too happy with this.

It’s insensitive, I think, to Maori and disrespectful of the All Blacks,” New Zealand assistant coach Wayne Smith said.


[Sydney Morning Herald]: All Blacks cop a bagging
[You Tube]: Handbag Haka

All Other Sports

Handbag used in All Blacks rugby fight is up for bid

On Tuesday, we told you about a fight in a New Zealand bar that lead to All Blacks captain Tama Umaga hitting teammate Chris Masoe in the head with a handbag. Well, now the woman who owns the handbag is auctioning it off on a New Zealand auction site. But wait, there’s more! If you bid right now, you also get the cellphone that was broken in the fight!

The highest legitimate bid right now is $94,000NZD or about $53,000 US. Not bad at all for a cheap handbag and a useless cellphone. At one point during the auction, fake bids had it over $100,000,000. As always, with these kind of auctions, the smartasses.. er.. smartarses come out to ask questions. The best one? “Is there any guarantee that hitting someone with this will make them cry?” The poor guy will never live that down.

[TV NZ]: Bidding for handbag turns farcical

All Other Sports

There’s crying in rugby

New Zealand All Blacks player Chris Masoe and his team captain Tama Umaga were in a bar in Christchurch at 7:00 in the morning when Masoe tripped over a man’s legs and then got up and punched him in the jaw.

Umaga then grabbed a woman’s handbag and hit Masoe twice across the head, at which Masoe allegedly burst into tears.

What?! So instead of restraining his teammate, Umaga decides the best way to calm him down would be to hit him with a handbag. Well, it worked.

We’re trying to reconcile the bursting into tears like a little girl (second part added) with this video of the All Blacks intimidating their opponents with a traditional Maori war chant, which is incredibly badass.

[BBC]: All Black fined for handbag brawl