America has gone workout crazy. Everyone, everywhere wants to be buff, tan and super sexy nowadays, but what’s the best way to go about getting that ultra hot look? Well, at the Anti-Gym, they figure humiliation will melt those unsightly pounds right off your body.
Now, stop being fat already!!
Links:
[CollegeHumor.com]: Horrific Gym Commercial
[Anti-Gym]: Home
Mascot misbehavior has been at an all-time high this year. It seems like every time you turn around some dope in a costume is attacking some other dope in a costume. Tuesday night at the Summit League tournament championship the mascots from IUPUI and Oral Roberts got to scraping. Unfortunately, no heads went rolling.
Charles Barkley and Michael Jordan are the BFFL (Best Friends For Life), but that doesn’t mean the Round Mound of Rebound is going to show his Airness any mercy when it comes to his ultra expensive divorce settlement.
We’ve been giving Michael a hard time,” Barkley told a crowd at the SMU Athletic Forum lunch at the Hilton Anatole on Wednesday. “He just got a divorce [and it was like] damn, bro, you wrote a check for $175 million? Are you kidding me? You must have some damn money. If you can write a check for $175 million, you’re damn loaded.”
Barkley went on to say that “sports is definitely not the place to be sensitive, no matter what it is. We’re going to ride you unmercifully and we told him, `It’s probably bad to write a check for $175 million, but it’s going to get worse. When you go visit your kids, there’s going to be a guy sitting in your chair, wearing your robe, smoking a cigar.
The crowd erupted in laughter, but Barkley still had one more zinger for Jordan, saying: “You better hope it ain’t one of us. You better hope it ain’t one of your boys. We’re all looking for a woman with $175 million.
Don’t worry about it Mike. If Chuck gets you down with his wisecracks, you can always chill with Tiger and make fun of his golf swing. That never gets old.
Links:
[Star-Telegram.com]: Not even Jordan escapes Charles Barkley’s verbal darts
On Sunday, Shaquille O’Neal went airborne during the Suns/Spurs game, flying into the third row and popping some dude in the chops in the process. Well, the Phoenix bench saw this and rightfully learned from it, so when the Diesel came thundering toward the sideline on Tuesday night they knew exactly what to do…run and laugh!
Doing an impression of Dikembe Mutombo might sound easy enough, but most people end up sounding more like Cookie Monster. Lucky for us, his Rockets brethren have the impression down pat.
Not bad, fellas; not bad. But we’re still kind of partial to the real deal.
Links:
[Awful Announcing]: The Rockets Imitate Dikembe Mutombo, Hilarity Ensues
We’ve seen this happen plenty of times at little kids soccer games, but it doesn’t occur all too often on sport’s professional levels. Of course, we’re talking about getting that all-too-perfect set up and knocking down a huge goal for the team…the other team!
But that’s exactly what happened on Sunday when Caps center Nicklas Backstrom scored a goal on his own net with 28 seconds left in regulation and the score tied 2-2 against Pittsburgh. As you would expect, Washington went on to lose 4-2 as Sydney Crosby got credit for Backstrom’s blunder.
If you ask us, there is no good time to have vasectomy. However, the Oregon Urology Institute might be on to something with its latest ad campaign. After all, the only thing worse than getting snipped is getting snipped and having to flip back-and-forth between reruns of Family Matters and Dear John all day long.
And if you’re not sold on the idea yet, just get a `load’ of the other perks that come along with getting neutered.
“The frozen peas are malleable enough that you can get them right in there and get the swelling down,” [institute administrator Terry] FitzPatrick said.
Links:
[OregonLive.com]: Springfield urologists offer new excuse to view March Madness
Video games are hot right now. In fact, the entire gaming world has never been more popular than it is right now. And if you ask us, we’ve discovered the next big game that is going to sweep the nation, nay, the world. Move over Guitar Hero, step aside Grand Theft Auto; it’s time for NFL Crunch Time to set some sells records!
Sorry, Madden, but until you can offer up the “Racists” or the “Tennis Crotch” then you better get used to playing second fiddle.
Links:
[CollegeHumor.com]: Picnicface: NFL Crunch Time
The Brett Favre bomb was dropped yesterday and after a full day of weeping in a dark room, we finally feel strong enough to confront this national tragedy head on. While we know it’s tough right now, the true emotions won’t really come flooding out until next season when the Packers hit Lambeau Field without No. 4 under center. Hopefully, just hopefully, John Madden will be composed enough by then to call a game.
Links:
[Extra Mustard]: Favre Video Of The Day
You always hear about Dick Vitale being the biggest off-the-court star in college basketball. “Dicky-V this” and “Dicky-V that”. Well, guess what, Vitale; you’re not the only geriatric on ESPN worth his weight in `old.’
Links:
[The Big Lead]: Digger Phelps is a Dancing Machine
