Categories
All Other Sports

Swimming coach gets his Jerry Springer on

Well folks, here’s an early entry into the 2007 Sports Father of the Year contest. While some fathers have tackled other kids or pulled out a gun at a pee-wee football game, this guy actually assaulted his own daughter after she failed to qualify for the 50-meter backstroke semifinals. Oh and he was also her coach.

Mikhail Zubkov was caught on camera battling with his daughter Kateryna Zubkova (video below) and he is now banned from any further contact with his daughter and has had his accreditation stripped for the FINA world championships in Melbourne. On top of that, the police are investigating the incident.

Links:
[Bloomberg]: Swimming Coach Banned After Fighting With Daughter (Update1)
[Sydney Morning Herald]: Family feud: coach detained

Categories
NFL General

Hey Goodell, we’re still waiting on the personal conduct policy



Chris Henry

For all the talk about about Roger Goodell instituting a league personal conduct policy during the owners meetings, it looks like it won’t get done till sometime before the NFL draft in late April. Since sources say that the sanctions might be applied retroactively (which doesn’t make sense at all to us but the NFL has more power than God), it’s liable to affect players who are still getting into trouble now because they don’t know any better, or at least that’s what their agents will say on appeal.

First up is our old friend Chris Henry. The latest incident for Henry is being cited for three traffic chargers: driving with a suspended license, failure to wear a seatbelt, and making an improper turn. All very minor stuff but you can’t get into any trouble if you’ve already been arrested 4 times in the last 14 months.

Second up is Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall who was arrested for false imprisonment and domestic violence charges after an argument with his girlfriend at their Colorado home. This seems to be one of those trumped up charges since his girlfriend had no injuries and the “false imprisonment” charge was Marshall blocking her taxi with his car to prevent her from leaving. In a romantic comedy, that’s the denouement, in real life, it’s a crime.

In any case, Pacman Jones is scheduled to meet with Roger Goodell on April 3rd. Here’s how the meeting will go:


Goodell: Hello Adam, please tell me about all the times you’ve been arrested or questioned by the police since you came into the league.
Jones: Well, there was the assault charge… and the weapons charge… and there was the public intoxication… and then there was the marijuana charge… then there was the spitting incident with the Tennessee State ho… and then of course the NBA All-Star Game…

Goodell (to secretary): Got all that? Good. Clean that up and put everything he did in the “examples of violating the conduct policy” section. We’re done.

Links:
[USA Today]: Broncos WR arrested
[MSNBC]: ‘Pacman’ to meet with Goodell on April 3
[Cincinnati.com]: Traffic ticket terrible for Henry

Categories
Indianapolis Colts

"You are not Peyton Manning"


Some idiot in Illinois bet his friends that his beloved Chicago Bears would win the Super Bowl and if they didn’t he was going to change his name to Peyton Manning. Well, we all know how that went and since the Colts won the big game, Scott Wiese has been in court fighting for his right to humiliate himself.

He claims that the name change represents the passion that he has for da’ Bears and seems to be committed to honoring the bet. But Macon County Circuit Judge Katherine McCarthy saved his ass by ruling that the name change could possibly infringe on the privacy of the real Peyton Manning and that it was just too damn confusing.

Apparently Wiese won’t appeal the ruling but his friends will probably have something to say about their boy skipping out on his promise. We suggest making him wear a Peyton Manning jersey for the next year. Sure, it’s not permanent but it is still pretty embarrassing. Hey that beats having to follow Kenny Chesney on tour for a year.

Links:

[WishTV.com]: Judge says man can’t change name to Peyton Manning

Categories
Cleveland Cavaliers

James has a serious home court advantage


Life is pretty good for LeBron James right now. The Cavs clinched a playoff spot last night; he has a new investment and a new job and, now he has a brand new home. Actually, it’s more like a castle fit for a king. The 35,440 square-foot home is built on a 5.6 acre plot in Bath Township, Ohio and you know it has to be impressive because James destroyed an 11 bedroom, $2.1 million home in order to build his new palace.

This house is so big that LBJ shouldn’t have to leave his abode for anything except shooting hoops and shooting commercials. The house won’t be done until next year but by the time it is finished it will include a recording studio, a bowling alley, a barber shop, a casino, a theatre and an aquarium. Some of the other selling points, as if you need any more, include 27-by-27 foot dining hall, and a 34-by-27 foot “great room” which is only outdone by the even greater “grand room.” If that’s still not enough for you, the house has a six car garage, an elevator and the always popular self-promoting sculpture of his head. Klassy.

But the most impressive part of James’ new crib has got to be the master bedroom. The room is approximately 40-by-60 feet and has an enormous two-story walk-in closet. Now that’s a lot of clothes.

James is currently living in a four bedroom home while he waits for his new house to be completed. Wow, it must feel like a tomb in there to King James.

Links:

[Ohio.com]: King James builds a castle of a home

Categories
MLB General

Jose Canseco desperately needs more attention


…or money, or steroids.

According to a press release, Jose is shopping around a new reality show called “A Day With Jose”.


Contestants will “pitch” their fantasy day ideas to a panel of judges, and 6 finalists will surprise Jose with their planned activities — and compete for the ultimate prize — Jose’s 40/40 DIAMOND RING!

Wow… Joe Canseco’s 40/40 Diamond Ring. Awesome. That’s worth maybe $10k. Meanwhile, the only contestants we think will try out are reality show whores who will use it as a stepping stone to an “acting” career. We’d actually like to spend a day with Canseco and live blog the whole thing:

9:00AM: Showered. Took some steroids with Jose.
10:00AM: Got another supplement. Helped Jose pick out a see through shirt for him to wear.
11:00AM-5:00PM: Grilled Jose Canseco on how much steroids he injected into Mark McGwire’s ass.

Didn’t Canseco try this Day With Jose business 4 years ago?

Links:
[Larry Brown Sports]: Jose Canseco’s Trying For a Reality TV Show: A Day with Jose

Categories
Soccer

Six hookers is one way to get over a loss



Did not have sex with that woman

After losing to Germany in the Euro qualifiers, five members of the Czech national team smuggled in six autograph hunters hookers to their hotel room to take the edge off.

Ironically, they were busted by a female Czech journalist who herself posed as an autograph seeker. She said that midfielder Jan Polak answered the door and saw a party going on where the other players “drank and hugged prostitutes”.

All the players deny sleeping with the hookers but admitted to breaking some rules and was levied about a $50,000 fine which they accepted as the correct punishment and apologized.

Meanwhile, three of the players in the incident, Tomas Rosicky, Tomas Ujfalusi, and Jan Polak are all married. Ujfalusi’s wife is a former Miss Czech Republic. Unfortunately, they were not able to blame Lawrence Taylor for the hookers.

Links:

[The Sun UK]: Arsenal ace’s six-hooker party

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: Garnett regret


1. Run, Kevin, Run!
Last night was not a good night to be on the Minnesota Timberwolves. Well, it wasn’t so bad until about halfway through the third quarter. That’s when Seattle decided to put the Super back in front of Sonics and erased a 25 point deficit with 51-18 run over the remainder of the game. Rashard Lewis single handedly outscored the Timberwolves 27 to 18. If that isn’t bad enough for Minny, they ended the game by getting smoked on a 25-2 run. It was the biggest lead ever to be blown by T-Wolves and marked the first game in over three years in which the visiting team pulled off a 25 point comeback. The last team to do it was 2003-04 Knicks who came back from 26 down in Milwaukee to snatch a three point victory, 103-100, from the jaws of defeat. Kevin Garnett really doesn’t deserve this; actually, he does. It’s time to demand a trade.

2. New Jersey’s losing finally pays off

Thanks to a monumental meltdown by the Pacers since the All-Star break, New Jersey, yes New Jersey has moved into the final playoff spot in the Eastern Conference. For almost the entire season it appeared that the Pacific Division would be sending only one team to the post season but the Nets are hoping to continue their limp into the playoffs. New Jersey has lost eight of their last 12 games but that sorry performance actually improves their positioning because the Pacers have lost 15 of their last 17. If that’s not the sign of a pathetic conference then nothing is. So, all things considered, what would you expect from the basketball gods in a situation like this? Why a match-up between the two teams tonight in Jersey with a playoff spot on the line, of course. The only positive thing about this game is that one of them has to win.

3. Big Ben buys in
Stephon Marbury has been selling cheap, I mean affordable sneakers for long enough to know that he can’t build a successful corporation by himself, so he has brought in some big help. Ben Wallace has jumped aboard the Starbury Movement and is now sporting the new $14.98 Starbury II shoe, and it won’t be long until his own sneak (Big Ben) is released on the line. So, while Marbury’s team struggles on the court, his business team is growing by leaps and bounds. His line has expanded from 50 to 200 products that are all available for under $15. And nobody understands about the need for affordable apparel more than Wallace. Big Ben grew up poor as the 10th of 11 children and the youngest of eight boys. “I had to wait in line,” said Wallace. Now he just hopes that others will be lining up for a piece of his new investment.

Tuesday’s Player of the Day: Josh Howard @ New Orleans 32 min, 25 pts (FG: 10-16, 3FG: 2-2, FT: 3-3), 10 reb, 2 ast, 2 stl, 2 blk

Wednesday’s Game to Watch: Houston (45-26) @ Los Angeles Clippers (34-36) The Clippers are just barely holding onto the final playoff spot in the Western Conference but they have currently won five of their last six games. That’s the equivalent of winning 15 straight for any normal NBA team. Houston is enjoying having their man in the middle back and they have now won nine of their last 11 games. Since returning from his injury Yao is averaging 21 points to go along with nine rebounds. And Tracy McGrady is playing pretty well himself as the team hopes to catch the Jazz which would get them home court advantage against Utah in the first round but Houston would still remain in the fifth spot.

Buzzer Beater: Well, the streak is officially over for Kobe. After games of 65, 50, 60, 50 and 43, Bryant finally returned to earth and scored a human-like performance of only 23. Now, that might sound like a small number but, for comparison’s sake, that’s the amount of points that former MVP Kevin Garnett currently averages (22.8). The Mamba started the game hot and looked like he was getting ready to explode for another 60 point performance after he scored nine of the team’s first 11 points. But after that Bryant went cold as he was a pathetic 4-of-23 for the remainder of the game. Bryant also received a taste of his own medicine in the second quarter when he took a forearm to the melon from Pau Gasol that sent him to the famous LA hardwood. Mmmm, tastes like pain.

Categories
Cleveland Cavaliers

Lebron James takes his talents to the stage

As if being an All-Star, franchise carrying baller isn’t already enough for LeBron James, he has added a couple of side projects to keep his schedule full.

After buying an undisclosed stake in Cannondale, which creates a popular line of bicycles, last week, LeBron is now ready to give his skills on the mic a try. No, he’s not dropping a crappy rap album like Ron Artest and Shaq are known to do. Instead James will co-host the 15th annual ESPY Awards which will air on July 15. James will be sharing the stage with comedian Jimmy Kimmel who will be equipped with zingers and one-liners just in case LBJ stumbles over his lines.

Kimmel first met James backstage at a previous ESPY show where Kimmel has twice been a presenter.

We shook hands and I said, ‘Hello,’ and he just kind of looked at me quizzically,” Kimmel said. “He’s very, very tall. I’m not sure everyone knows that about him.

But LeBron is going to have to be pretty darn impressive if he is going to have a better on stage performance than Peyton Manning recently had on Saturday Night Live. And Peyton even had time to film this United Way commercial. Let’s see James top that.

Links:

[AZCentral.com]: LeBron James to co-host ESPY Awards
[SI.com]: LeBron meets Lance

Categories
All Other Sports

Eddie Griffin should stick to comedy

Everyone is use to seeing cars crashing into the wall as they make hundreds of left turns while zipping around the racetrack. Something you don’t see at most races is a rare Ferrari Enzo slamming into a barricade. But, then again, comedian Eddie Griffin usually isn’t behind the wheel on the oval either.

Griffin was driving the $1.5 million machine at the Irwindale Speedway in order to practice for an upcoming charity race to promote his latest movie “Redline.” Apparently the car had just a wee bit too much power for Griffin and as he came out of a turn he lost control and smashed the front end of the car into the wall, damaging the expensive automobile beyond repair. However, unlike the basketball player who shares his name, Griffin was not watching porn at the time of the crash.

Daniel Sadek is the executive producer of “Redline” and the owner of what use to be one of only 400 Enzos ever produced. Sadek said that he had “mixed feelings” about the incident.

I’m glad Eddie came out of the crash OK, but my dream car got destroyed,” Sadek said. “I went to my trailer for about 15 minutes and I thought, there’s people dying every day. A lot of worse things are happening in the world.

OK, keep telling yourself that, but we know that you really want to wrap your hands around Griffin’s throat and squeeze until his head pops off.

Links:

[DailyMail.com]: Comedian crashes $1.5 million Ferrari
[Jalopnik]: Another Enzo bites the dust, this time with Eddie Griffin at the wheel

Categories
All Other Sports

Racism: it’s not just for soccer fans anymore!


It seems the overwhelming number of stories we do on racism involve soccer fans. However, we were reminded that tennis is still a predominantly white sport despite the dominance of the Williams sisters over the past 10 years. A heckler was tossed from the Sony Ericcson Open after going all Hooman Hamzehloui on Serena Williams.


There was this guy in the stands harassing me throughout the whole match, and I really should have said something sooner. And then even the people out there were pointing to who he was.

The guy said, ‘Hit the net like any Negro would.’ I was shocked.

Serena’s stepsister later told reporters that “negro” wasn’t the exact word he used. The unidentified man was escorted out of the stadium and a copy of his license and photograph was taken by security. If he ever returns to the stadium, he will be arrested. The WTA is also considering banning him from all tour events. We say someone should give him a ride to Compton where Serena Williams grew up.

Links:
[Local 6]: Serena Williams: Heckler Made Racist Remark