Categories
Houston Rockets

Skip To My Lou claims he’s not a spitter


Rafer Alston was arrested on charges of misdemeanor assault and public intoxication on Sunday in Houston for allegedly getting into a war of words with a parking lot attendant after Alston’s car was towed. Alston was also accused of grabbing, shaking and spitting on the attendant during the altercation. Apparently, his car was illegally parked and he didn’t pay which tends to get under the skin of most parking lot guys from our past experiences.

On Monday, Alston was outta the slammer and he was not to happy about his unscheduled detour from the big ballin’ lifestyle and says that he was falsely accused and arrested.

We got into a shouting match. My car was towed and I was basically asking the parking attendant where he had my car towed to,” Alston said in a story on KRIV’s Web site. “There were no hits, nothing transpired. The guy runs off and yells down the street, like, he needed an officer over here. Before you know it, the officer puts me in cuffs and takes me downtown.”

“I asked the guy what was I being charged with and he said public intoxication and assaulting someone, and I said, ‘I am neither of those,”‘ Alston said.

We’re not quite ready to sentence Skip To My Lou to a ferret leggin’ just yet over the supposed saliva slinging; after all, parking lot dudes don’t usually have the sunniest dispositions in the first place. In fact, we can totally see how this has the possibility of being a case of a nobody trying to get some free cash from a somebody. While we going to hold off on labeling Alston as the next Roberto Alomar, we are going to figure that the public intoxication charge will probably stick. After all, at 1:45 a.m., there’s not much reason for a pro athlete to be out and about other than getting blitzed.

Links:

[MSN.FoxSports.com]: Rockets’ Alston: `I am neither of those’
[Chron.com]: Rockets’ Alston calls report of assault exaggerated

Categories
Atlanta Falcons

Michael Vick still has a few products out there


We knew that it wouldn’t take long for Michael Vick bashing merchandise to start hitting the shelves of stores across America. And, frankly, we love the creativity of all those timely entrepreneurs. While there are some very, very clever t-shirts out there (our personal favorite being Even Hannibal Lecter is against dogfighting), our award for wittiest novelty goes to the inventor of The Official “Vick” Dog Chew Toy.

Yup, for just $10.99 plus $2.00 shipping and handling, you can give your dog the satisfaction of gnawing away at Michael Vick’s gigantic replica head for days on end. Of course, if it’s anything like the overpriced crap we buy for Fluffy at Dogs-R-Us then it won’t last an hour after getting pulled outta the box. Then again, one hour of repeated bites to the torso might be all it takes for some canines to feel a sense of retribution. But according to the creators, the toy is virtually indestructible.

Is it different you ask? You bet it is! The Vick Dog Chew Toy is made of state of the art “dog” material. The Vick Toy Doll is so strong and flexible, it will challenge even the most aggressive breeds. Especially The Pit Bull.

Unlike Vick, our manufacturer is so sure of its durability they guarantee it against the most aggressive dog destruction. It Bends. It Bounces. It Flies. It Floats. And best of all, it lasts through the whole season and more!

Get Your Official Vick Dog Chew Toy today!

Count us in because you had us at appalling dog murderer.

Links:

[VickDogChewToy.com]: The Official “Vick” Dog Chew Toy

Categories
All Other Sports

Bas Rutten opens up a can of comedic whoop ass

Have you ever been sitting in a bar and just thought about all the different ways you could kick somebody’s ass if the crap really hit the fan in a drunken brawl? We hadn’t either until we came across this awesome video of MMA legend Bas Rutten and his sweet self defense techniques.

Rutten really is one of the greatest MMA teachers of all-time so, if Bas says “Dangety, dangety, dang and a heel to da balls” then that’s exactly what we’ll do.

Categories
NFL General

The Hall of Fame finally welcomes in a hankieless Michael Irvin

We know that getting inducted into the Hall of Fame is the pinnacle of any professional athlete’s career, so we can completely understand why players get a little emotional at times.  Well, to say that Michael Irvin got a tad teary eyed during his induction speech would be an understatement.  

Many people are saying that it was one of the most inspirational, touching, motivational acceptance speeches in the history of the Hall.  We’re not going to go that far because, frankly, we couldn’t even pay attention to the words coming out of his mouth with all the snot coming out of his nose!  Damn, couldn’t someone hand Irvin a Kleenex?  This is one of those rare times when ESPN HD is a bad thing.

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Milestone Weekend


1. Join the Club: The day after A-Rod’s 500th homer and Barry Bonds’ 755th, Tom Glavine reached yet another milestone. Glavine became the 23rd pitcher to reach the 300 win club, and only the 5th lefty. He joins Roger Clemens and Greg Maddux as the only players this decade to reach the mark. Glavine won his 300th like he won his first 299–by mixing pitches, being efficient, and using off-speed pitches effectively. Glavine has won ten or more games 18 of the last 19 seasons. He has 58 wins in five seasons with the Mets, with all his other wins coming in 16 years in Atlanta. The Hall of Fame lock went 6 and 1/3 innings against the Cubs, with two runs allowed and only one strikeout in an 8-3 win. Glavine even drove in a run for New York, which has the best record in the National League at 63-48. Contrary to widespread belief, Glavine will not be the last pitcher to reach 300 wins. However, it will likely be 10-15 years before another pitcher gets to 300.

2. The New Western Power: For most of this season, the Dodgers and Padres have dominated the NL West. But now, the balance of power in the division has changed tremendously with the Diamondbacks’ claiming of first place. They took the lead last week, then reinforced their position by taking 5 of 6 games from San Diego and Los Angeles in back-to-back series. The Dodgers were the victims over the weekend, with a sweep at the hands of Arizona. On Sunday Brandon Webb outdeuled Brad Penny in a 3-0 win for the D-backs. Webb tossed a complete-game shutout, giving him 23 straight scoreless innings. The defending Cy Young winner has suddenly become a candidate for the award this season as well, especially is he keeps up his post-All Star break pace. Penny lost his second start in a row after a 13-1 start. He allowed three runs in seven innings, and still has an excellent 2.66 ERA. The Dodgers, once the standard in the division, are now four games back. San Diego swept the Giants over the weekend and is just a half-game back.

3. Detroit’s Downfall: Not so long ago, the Tigers had the best record in the majors. But after a 2-11 stretch, they no longer even lead their division. The slump is mainly due to offense–they’ve averaged only 3.6 runs per game their last ten. The Yankees have passed them as the major league run leaders, and other teams aren’t far behind what was once the league’s dominant lineup. They were swept by the lowly White Sox this weekend, though thanks to poor play by the Indians, the Tigers are just a half-game back in their division. The Twins, at 4.5 games back, have played better than any team in the division recently.

Player of the Day: Scott Baker, Twins: 8 innings, 0 runs, 4 hits, 4 K’s in a 1-0 win over Cleveland.

Categories
Indiana Pacers

Jermaine O’Neal is basically banging on Jerry Buss’ door

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past year or so, Jermaine O’Neal wants to get the heck outta Indiana soon.  And of course, he wants to play on a team that can contend for a championship.  After all, Kevin Garnett is finally getting a solid shot at a ring and taking postseason suckers like Paul Pierce and Ray Allen along with him.  But, unlike Garnett who remained quiet and pessimistic about being traded, O’Neal is letting the whole world know that he wants to be wearing the purple and gold next season.

I love L.A.,” O’Neal said. “I normally train here every summer. The last two summers I haven’t trained here because I got hurt, but I love it here. My daughter loves it. My wife loves it. This is one of the prime places that if I were to be traded, I would allow Indiana to trade me here.

Hmm, sounds like he loves L.A.  But the biggest selling point about L.A. is Kobe Bryant and O’Neal didn’t forget to start buttering up the bitter superstar with hopes of rings and “missing piece” dreams.

I think Kobe’s in a position right now where he understands that he needs some help,” O’Neal said. “He needs some help to get to the position where he wants to be. I think he’s the best player in the NBA and the world, but obviously no player can do it by himself. He has a nice group around him, but he needs some help and I can give him some support.

Of course, O’Neal has to be healthy in order to contribute which is something he hasn’t been able to do over the past several seasons.  However, O’Neal is claiming to currently be at 100 percent.  And just to be sure that he didn’t put all of his eggs in one basket, O’Neal lobbed up a distant second choice as he gushed over the Lakers.  

Los Angeles and New Jersey would be my top two teams,” O’Neal said. “I think L.A.’s a real possibility and I think New Jersey’s a possibility too.

What, no New Jersey lovefest?  

Links:

[SI.com]: California dreamin’

Categories
All Other Sports

Pacman Jones is headed to TNA

Its official! Adam “Pacman” Jones has signed the dotted line with professional wrestling promotion TNA and will be making his premier appearance this Thursday at 9 p.m. ET.  So, despite the controversy surrounding Pacman, as if that’s something new for the cornerback, it sounds like he’s really excited about the new opportunity that’s growing out of his rotting NFL career.  But, we’re not sure if Pacman knows exactly what he’s getting into because it seems like he’s a bit confused on how the squared six-sided circle works.

I am a big fan of wrestling, so I wanted to give it a try,” Jones said. “I respect wrestling and I’m not coming in like it’s just a show. I want to prove that I am the greatest team-sport athlete.

We know that they put on tag team bouts in TNA, but we can’t see it really improving your stock as “the greatest team-sport athlete” by participating.  After all, lots of pro players have walked through the doors of TNA and, unfortunately, none of them are of GOAT status.  And anyways, we know that the only thing he’ll be working out is his vocal chords.

Over the next couple of months, I think the world is going to see a different side of Pacman, one it hasn’t seen before,” Jeff Jarrett (Pacman’s trainer) said. “You will really see his personality come out, not just his athletic ability.

Hey, Jeff, just a word of advice: work more on the athletic ability because his personality is what got him in trouble in the first place and is the exact reason why people hate him!  

Links:

[TNAWrestling.com]: Adam “Pacman” Jones Signs Contract With Total Nonstop Action (TNA) Wrestling

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Guerrero gets his groove back


1. Home Run Derby: Vlad Guerrero hadn’t homered in a month before Thursday’s game despite winning the Home Run Derby. He finally regained his power stroke in a big way as the Angels beat the A’s. Guerrero relived his Derby victory by bashing two out, driving in four runs in the process. He now has 16 homers, which puts him on a pace for 25. That would be his worst full-season total of his career. At least the All Star has 87 RBIs, good for fourth in the AL, and a .326 average. The Angels have now won 6 of their last 8, giving them a 3.5 game lead over Seattle.

2. The Slugging Continues: The Braves and Yankees, the league’s two hottest offenses, continued to be powerful on Thursday. However, both were let down by their pitching staffs. The Braves scored 11 runs in a 14-inning contest against the Astros, giving them double-digit runs for four straight games. But Rafael Soriano allowed a grand slam in the eighth inning that tied the game, and the Astros won off pitcher Jason Jennings’ RBI single. Despite out-hitting the Astros 22-11, the Braves found themselves losing, and dropping another game behind the victorious Mets and Phillies in the process. The Yankees, on the other hand, got crushed 13-9 by the White Sox mainly due to an awful start by Roger Clemens. Clemens allowed eight runs in the second inning, his shortest outing since 2000. The Yankees scored eight runs of their own in the second off Jon Garland, which marked the first time in major league history two teams have scored 8+ runs in the second. The rest of the game went the White Sox’s way, and the Yanks dropped to eight back behind Boston. They are competitive in the Wild Card race though, at three back behind Cleveland.

3. Cy Young Favorites: In the American League, Dan Haren is right now the obvious choice for the Cy Young award. He leads the league in ERA by a mile, with 2.44, and is tied with many with 13 wins. In the National League, the selection is more difficult. Chris Young has a 1.82 ERA, but is on the DL right now. So, Jake Peavy, with his 2.30 ERA and league-leading 154 strikeouts, is the front-runner. Peavy shut down the Diamondbacks on Thursday, pitching seven shutout innings and striking out 10. The Padres won 11-0 behind Peavy as recently acquired Morgan Ensberg hit two homers.

Player of the Day: Jermaine Dye, White Sox: 4-5, 2 HRs (21), 4 RBIs in a 13-9 win over New York.

Categories
Detroit Pistons

Flip Saunders was just 20 yards from bridge as it collapsed


Detroit Pistons coach Flip Saunders revealed on Thursday that he was about 20 yards form the I-35W bridge that collapsed on Wednesday in Minneapolis. Amazingly, it was construction that saved his life as the entrance ramp to his normal route was closed, forcing the Minnesota native to take a detour.

I usually take the 35W bridge, but the ramp was closed,” Saunders said Thursday from Minneapolis in a telephone interview with the AP. “My daughter was driving in a car right behind me when the bridge collapsed — about 20 yards away from us. It
sounded like a bomb when it dropped.

“I got out of my car, and the first thing I heard was the kids screaming on the bus. I called 911. I didn’t really know what else I could do.

Saunders was driving to his home after making an appearance at Tubby Smith’s basketball camp which was being held at his alma matter, the University of Minnesota.

A day later, I’m still in a surreal state of mind,” he said. “I can still see what happened. It’s kind of like having flashbacks.

Links:

[NewsObserver.com]: Saunders avoids bridge collapse

Categories
San Francisco Giants

Barry Bonds gets rolled by sushi restaurant


As everyone knows by now, or at least everyone should know by now, Barry Bonds is just one home run away from tying the great Hank Aaron at 755 on the all-time list. There is virtually nobody outside of the San Francisco area that wants to see the suspected doper grab the record and one Colorado sushi joint, Hapa Sushi Grill, actually decided to let their opinion on Bonds be known in a half-page ad that ran in Thursday’s edition of The Onion.

Congratulations Hank Aaron on 755 home runs.” At the bottom of the page, the ad continues: “Organic beef and chicken, no added steroids

And if a half-page jab isn’t enough insult for your taste, full-page ads were run in a pair of Boulder newspapers on Friday. According to the founder of the restaurant, Mark Van Grack, it’s simply a way to encourage people to avoid fast food and eat his delicious and nutritious sushi.

Think about what you’re doing. Be healthy. You don’t need steroids do something great, as Hank Aaron did,” he said of the message.

C’mon, we know that this ad wasn’t released to promote the nutritional benefits of sushi, but rather to further humiliate the huge headed Bonds. While this isn’t as clever as throwing a giant syringe onto the field, we give the guys some extra credit for taking their insults national with this ad. Thanks for sharing with the country.

Links:

[FoxNews.com]: Sushi Joint Takes Dig at Bonds