The use of steroids and other performance enhancing drugs has virtually marred the game of Major League Baseball unrecognizable. Nobody can jack a dinger or throw a 100-mph heater anymore without some level of scrutiny and doubt being cast upon their true abilities. And rightfully so. But one place we never ever thought would be tainted by the corruption of drug use was the the ball kids’ clubhouse. We were wrong.
The guys over at Rumors and Rants are still stewing over the fact that a virtual-nobody in the NBA like
Marko Jaric can be engaged to megamodel Adrianna Lima. Hey, aren’t we all? But Jaric isn’t the only lucky bastard in the world of sports. So, here’s their list of “The Luckiest Guys In Sports History.”
Marko Jaric – Engaged to Adrianna Lima
Jim Sorgi – Peyton Manning’s Backup
Sam Cassell – 2008 Celtics
Eric Gagne – 2007 Boston Red Sox
Scott Podsednik – Married to Lisa Dergan
Christian Laettner – The Dream Team
Tony Romo – The Tail He Pulls
Jud Buechler – Three Titles With The Bulls
Jeremy Shockey – Giants Super Bowl Win
And speaking of lucky, there’s no way we can forget about this lucky dog.
In other news…
[Undrafted Free Agent]: Javon Kearse does his best Cedric Benson impersonation
[SI.com]: Pele gets no respect from the younger generation
[Pyle of List]: Sports movie coaches nominated for the HOF
[CNN.com]: 8-year-old knows more about baseball than most beat reporters
[Tirico Suave]: George Carlin, you will be missed greatly
[Mondesishouse.com]: A day of indulgence
[COEDMagazine.com]: The Babes of Wimbledon 2008
[CollegeOTR.com]: Celebrities’ kid’s colleges revealed
[JoshQPublic.com]: Worst. Strip club. Ever.
[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: Worst. Rap battle. Ever.
And finally, here’s a guy dropping a subtle hint that he really, really wants a pool.
With Tiger Woods’ season officially coming to a close, the PGA is starting to sweat bullets over losing the game’s biggest draw. So, here’s a list of 10 Thing The PGA Tour Can Do To Increase Attendance, according to The World of Isaac, while Tiger’s getting nursed back to health by Elin.
9. Give Natalie Gulbis an honorary PGA membership for the Summer.
8. Fans get free copies of the next hottest Calendar: The Women of the PGA tour
7. Make Phil Mickelson wear “The Bro” outside his shirt (Big Endorsement)
6. Randomly choose one golfer to get Nancy Kerrigan’d every week and make him limp around the course. Hey, the drama worked for Tiger?
5. Make worse than a bogey=Keg Stand at the next hole
4. If somebody screams “Get in the Hole” and it doesn’t go in, make that fan strip naked and run for his life
3. Have a Tim Finchem Dunk Tank at the turn
2. Bring back some old cranky dudes from the Senior tour. Let them go at it from the ladies tee, let them ride carts, let them foot wedge it out of the rough
1. KY Jelly and Mud Wrestling in every available Pond
In other news…
[The Sports Muffin]: Meet Pat Venditte, he’s amphibious
[The Recliner GM]: The Best and Worst of the NBA Draft
[Irish Band of Brothers]: Get ready for more crappy Notre Dame football on NBC
[The Cuban Revolution]: Mark ain’t the only Cuban who can blog
[Clubhouse Cancer]: Glen Davis is enjoying his championship reign
[850TheBuzz.com]: Doug Christie’s wife allows Doug Christie to do a radio interview
[Flatusyahu.com]: Bull Durham gets a facelift
[Can’t Stop The Bleeding]: “In a way, that I hoped I shoved it up to somebody’s butt”
[YouTube]: Lacrosse cheerleader takes one for the team
[PartMule.com]: According to Jason Kidd, the Chuckster isn’t gambling
And finally, it worked for Eminem and Dido, so why can’t it work for Ron Artest and Alicia Keys?
The entire nation was practically pulling for Tiger Woods last weekend when he was playing in agony with a bum wheel last weekend at the U.S. Open. Well, almost the entire nation. Turns out that Retief Goosen thinks the Oscar for worst acting should have gone to Tiger.
Asked if he felt Woods could have been faking it, Goosen said: “I think so.”
“You see when he made the putts and he went down on his knees and shouting `yeah’, his knee wasn’t sore. Nobody knows if he was just showing off or if he was really injured, and I believe if he was injured he would not have played. But it was a great win.”
I like Goosen’s I think the sonofabitch faked the whole thing but it was a great win approach. Slam a guy and then clean it up with a throwaway compliment. When pressed about his comments Retief said he was just kidding.. Sort of.
“I was being light-hearted.”
“No one but Tiger knows how badly hurt he was. But if he was really badly hurt, he would have withdrawn wouldn’t he?”
In other news…
[HotStoveNewYork.com]: You got your ring, now scram!
[Answer this…]: NASCAR officials are racists and sexists…no way!
[The Sports Muffin]: List of the top 10 MMA fighters. Sorry, Jesse Taylor didn’t make the cut
[HeismanPundit.com]: Who Won’t Win The Heisman
[LGTexter.com]: Move over competitive eaters, you have some serious competition in the dork department
[Comcast.net]: Moustache mania
[eBay]: Moustache mania part deux
[eTrueSports.com]: New York’s newest power couple
[Cuzoogle.com]: 10 Wheaties boxes you will never see
[The Legend of Cecilio Guante]: Somehow, Man-Ram didn’t make the MLB’s All-Crazy Team
And finally, we bring you the story of a defective thong.
The plaintiff in the case, Macrida Patterson, 52, attributed the May 2007 injury to a Victoria’s Secret “low-rise v-string,” according to a court document posted on The Smoking Gun.
Patterson’s lawyer told The Smoking Gun that a “design problem” caused a decorative metallic piece on the underwear to fly up and hit Patterson in the eye while she was putting the underwear on.
Patterson’s product liability lawsuit was filed in Los Angeles Superior Court last week.
The Smoking Gun reported that, prior to the lawsuit, officials from Victoria’s Secret had asked to see the offending underwear but were refused by Patterson’s lawyer.
Why do we love sports? Oh, let us count the ways. The list starts with the simple addiction to competition and ends with all the sexy girlfriends and wives of the athletes. There’s a whole lot in between, but we forgot what it was because we started thinking about how lucky Reggie Bush is. Anyways, for as much as we love the world of sports, there are plenty of things out there that just really annoy the hell out of us and, apparently, there’s a lot that annoys the guys over at The Love of Sports as well. Here’s their list of the Most Obnoxious Sports Traditions.
7. Detroit Red Wings’ Octopi
6. “CHARGE!”
5. Tomahawk Chop
4. Sleeveless Shirts in NASCAR
3. Gooooaaaaaallllll!
2. Hats & Mint Juleps at the Kentucky Derby
1. The Wave
Wait a minute, let’s not forget about John Mason’s “Deeeeetroit basketball! or the creepy little kids who copy him.
Links:
[The Love of Sports]: Most Obnoxious Sports Traditions
Strange, but true; Andre Dawson was a member of the Dawson’s Creek cast.
And you thought Bob Golic was the only professional athlete turned talented actor on the market.
In other news…
[Telegraph.co.uk]: With no Chad Johnson around, horse beats man in marathon
[Blazer’s Edge]: WWE buys the NBA and the Clippers acquire The Great Khali
[YouTube]: Rangers make the best of a wet situation
[ProFootballTalk.com]: Maybe Anquan Boldin will show up for training camp, maybe not
[The Angry T]: Gutsiest all-time performances in sports
[Sports Crackle Pop]: Tyler Hansbrough is a lucky man; a goofy-looking lucky man, but still a lucky man
[RedLasso.com]: Chad Johnson is not a happy camper
[SI.com]: Good thing Sean Franklin isn’t Kimbo Slice
[SherDog.com]: Devin Cole’s sentence? Two rounds with Rampage
[Red Sox Monster]: One very strange ad
And finally, when you think Father’s Day, there should really be only one man who pops into your head. That’s right, Shawn Kemp. So, from Hugging Harold Reynolds comes this Happy Pappy Day poem about the Reign Man.
Forty ounces to freedom
he forgets what he’s becomenever used the mirror for reflection
the perfect surface for the street confectiongot the sniffles nothin’ to blame on the weather
can’t lay off the coke it’s become his new pleasurehad a fan base spread wide like pepper mace
seattle’s ace in the hole, now he holds a sad placewhen the drugs wore off his mouth remained open wide
hit the drive thru, couldn’t pick one– ordered every sidetook the flack, made a comeback, attacked the rack
couldn’t cut it, didn’t make it, pounded a six packso many hi-lites, big dunks to remember, the lobs above all
can someone explain how shawn kemp messed up basketballthe number 40 still hangs in my closet, a middle school relic
yeah he’s a bum give’em one more shot, make’em a celticfans wanna see one more two-handed jam
give it up to the coverboy of slaman ode to shawn kemp, the original reign man
The current king of penetrating the
zone
We love watching sports, mainly for all of its elegance and grace, but we’re equally addicted to the bloopers. And it doesn’t have to be the physical kind, we love a good slip of the tongue too. Sometimes, it doesn’t even have to be accidental. During any given game, we’re bound to hear at least a few horrible metaphors from the crew behind the mics. So, here’s a list of the Top Ten Sports Phrases that Cause Uncontrollable Giggles. Just try not to laugh.
9. “finding the hot receiver” (football)
8. “he touches them all!” (baseball)
7. “lined up in the slot” (football)
6. “hitting the hole hard” (football)
5. “handy stickwork” (hockey)
4. “effective ball movement” (basketball)
3. “getting good wood on it” (baseball)
2. anything involving “Pujols” (baseball)
1. “penetrating the zone” (basketball)
Links:
[Hugging Harold Reynolds]: I Got the Giggles
We think Erin Andrews is the bee’s knees, baby, and we don’t care if the whole world knows it and apparently, neither does Rick Sutcliffe. During last night’s game between the Braves and the Cubbies, the topic of Andrews’ ensemble hit the booth and we’ll be damned if Sutcliffe just couldn’t contain himself, letting the whole world know exactly what was on his mind during batting practice earlier in the day. And it wasn’t his upcoming cancer surgery.
Links:
[Big League Stew]: Rick Sutcliffe is concerned for Erin Andrews’ skirt in Chicago
Bad news for drunken Badger fans; the University of Wisconsin-Madison decided to continue their 2007 “Show and Blow” campaign which requires students who were previously busted for getting tanked at a home football game to blow into a Breathalyzer unit to get in. Of course, you gotta pass the test to enter (blowing .00 for underage students and under .08 for those over 21).
When asked for reaction to the renewal of the program, almost every student on campus responded, “This blows!”
In other news…
[Yahoo! Sports]: Ko-Pau! comes to life
[eBay.com]: Celebrate the Lakers return to the Finals with your own 1999-2000 championship bling
[FoodCourtLunch.com]: The NBA All-Neckfold Team
[MMARated.com]: George Lucas’ daughter is in the MMA game
[UnCoached.com]: Hilarious/Inappropriate Entrance Songs in the MLB
[Awful Announcing]: Inside The NFL leaves HBO for Showtime, HBO pigs out on ice cream and cries
[SportsByBrooks]: What former NFL player hasn’t stolen manhole covers before?
And finally, here’s a little something for the ladies out there.
http://view.break.com/511829 – Watch more free videos
If you thought Miguel Tejada had it rough after having his true age exposed to the world, try being told you’re a fat ass by an underhanded journalist looking to make a name.
