Tag: funny

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All Other Sports

The ugly, smelly side of the Tour de France


You probably didn’t know this about the Tour de France, in the opening 12 stages, at least ten riders have been cited for breaking the cycling code. No, we’re not talking about human growth hormones or steroids or anything that gets injected into a cyclist’s body. Articles 12 and 29 of the conduct code book have to do with the call of nature and those ten riders have been fined approximately $87 apiece because they “satisfied nature’s need in front of the public.”

Apparently, if you’ve gotta stop and go in cycling, you’re suppose to be hidden from the public’s view. But the problem with that, according to one rider who was fined, is in the Tour de France there are no open stretches of road where a rider can be secluded.

So, not only are these guys suppose to sit on tiny, unforgiving, testicle smashing seats for miles and miles on end, but they’re suppose to deny their bodily functions for the multiple hour rides too?!?! We know these guys are machines on the course, but c’mon!

We say that if they won’t let you pee in peace then you gotta do what you gotta do.

Some brave souls also go while they’re still riding. That manoeuvre (sic) is performed by hiking up one leg of the bike shorts and pivoting the hips sideways to allow for relief. Sometimes a rider’s teammate will help steady the handlebars, making sure to be upwind.

Links:

[TheStar]: When a guy’s gotta go, a guy’s gotta go

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MLB General

Dice-K isn’t the only one with some wicked pitches

Lots of people say that baseball is boring and slow, but what they don’t understand is the level of knowledge that players and managers have when it comes to the game. There is so much strategery going on behind the scenes that people just don’t know about. One method that players in Japan have included in their arsenal is the element of surprise. And, boy, have they mastered that one.

While this guy is pretty damn innovative with the ball, we’re guessing that Pete Maravich would have tossed that pitch long ago if he had never picked up a basketball.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Satchel Paige Called – He Wants His Pitch Back

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General Sports

Sports can be graceful, but we prefer the zany ridiculousness

Sports are the ultimate in unpredictability; about the only thing that is predictable about sports is that if you watch long enough, anything can happen. And it usually does. Whether it’s soccer, gymnastics, automobile racing, basketball, skateboarding, figure skating, skiing, karate, cricket or table tennis, you just never know what you’re gonna get.

Categories
Soccer

The sport of soccer just made us laugh again

Like we’ve said before, we know that somewhere deep down inside of soccer there is something that is embodies the art and pageantry of sport, but with so many damn knuckleheads running around on the fields and in the stadiums it gets pretty hard to get past all the shenanigans. C’mon, how are we supposed to take futbol seriously when the refs are running around like that little kid on Ugly Betty.

We’d like to say that this is the fruitiest behavior we’ve ever seen on a soccer pitch, but that would be a blatant lie.

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All Other Sports

Someone ought to tell this guy that potty breaks should coincide with commercial breaks

We’ve all heard the stories of what football players do when they, you know, gotta go. And we’ve shown you video of a soccer player who just couldn’t hold it, but don’t be fooled into thinking that nature only calls on athletes during the job.

Dean Blevins is a former ABC college football analyst and current a sports director for KWTV 9 in Oklahoma City and during a recent appearance on a radio show, he couldn’t wait for the commercial break and took a wiz while on the air. Of course, Blevins thought the incident took place off-air which makes it even funnier. You going to have to wait through about the first 1:50 of the clip before the broadcasted peeing occurs; hopefully, can hold out that long because Blevins certainly couldn’t.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Dean “The Stream” Blevins on WWLS

Categories
College Football

It’s no east vs. west rap war, but the smack between USC and LSU is becoming pretty entertaining



Snoop recently gave LSU coach Les
Miles a verbal beat down.

Lots of peeps out there seem to think that we can look forward to a USC/LSU national championship game once January rolls around. Hopefully those people are right, because it looks we’ve already got some serious trash talk going down that will, with any luck, build up to epic proportions by the time the BCS starts pissing everyone off.

Les Miles recently made some comments about USC that were not very well received by the fan base.

I would like nothing better than to play USC for the [national] title,” Miles reportedly said in a speech to a heavily pro-LSU gathering in New Orleans. “I can tell you this, that they have a much easier road to travel. They’re going to play real knockdown drag-outs with UCLA and Washington, Cal-Berkeley, Stanford — some real juggernauts — and they’re going to end up, it would be my guess, in some position so if they win a game or two, that they’ll end up in the title [game].”

“I would like that path for us. I think the SEC provides much stiffer competition.

Hey, Les, the men and women of USC are probably the last people on earth that you want to piss off. Mainly because they have a big time rap star with a dirty mouth and stinging tongue that can’t wait to punk you out, which is exactly what Snoop Dogg did on Gump For Heisman. But before you hit play, if there are any young ‘uns in the room, now’s probably the time to throw on a set of earmuffs.

Links:

[Gump For Heisman]: Snoop Dogg disses… LSU coach Les Miles?
[The Wizard of Odds]: `Snoop Dogg’ Calls Out Les Miles

Categories
Atlanta Falcons

Dodge rolls out their "Michael Vick edition" line of SUVs

Michael Vick is in a whole heap of trouble right now and, needless to say, his image is taking a serious hit that he will never recover from. People are disgusted by the nature of the crimes that he is being linked to and, as a result, all of his endorsement deals are going down the drain. Well, almost all of them. Apparently, Dodge Nitro is thinking about signing Vick to be the face of their new campaign. They’ve even created a vehicle security system that is personally designed for the Falcons QB.

“Charged with Adrenaline” and dog murder. Sounds like a great slogan to us.

Links:

[AdFreak.com]: Dodge Nitro kills defenseless peeing dogs

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Cleveland Cavaliers

LeBron and his little ball of joy

We just couldn’t bring ourselves to watch any of the repeated showings of the ESPY Awards last week, so, other than knowing who won what, we had no idea what went down. In fact, it wasn’t until this morning that we heard of the controversy surrounding co-host LeBron James and his baby boy. Apparently, some people think LBJ was completely out of line when he brought his infant son, Bryce Maximus James, on stage to teach him about hoops and the graceful art of the slam dunk, but we can’t seem to figure out what all the fuss is about. Just looks like normal father-son bonding type stuff to us.

That definitely gives a new meaning to the term “diaper dandy.”

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All Other Sports

These kids should invest in some steel toed soccer cleats

We’ve seen some pretty ingenious practical jokes in our days, but weighing down a soccer ball so that it’s as hard as a rock is about as good as it gets. The simplicity of it all is what really makes this a classic prank.

The leapfrog gag is a tad outdated, but we still appreciate the effort. Now the the creepy/hilarious voiceover, that’s just strange.

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: Something To Wake You Out of Your “Mike Vick? Indicted?” Fog

Categories
General Sports

ESPN finally has some competition and Jim Mora is leading the charge

Lots of people can’t stand SportsCenter, but they suffer through the broadcasts because, lets face it, nobody can stomach the FSN crews. But SC‘s days might be numbered if Flash Sports Tonight takes off. So, please, please let FST catch on.

Personally, we love the way Doc and Jock Jarrelson tackle the issue of steroids in sports. While a music montage might not exactly be hard-hitting sports journalism, it beats the hell out of watching those stupid Who’s Now segments. And even though FST wasn’t able to show the entire “What a Bunch of Cheating Liars” clip, we were able to get our hands on the exclusive extended video. Top that Cyclops Stu!