Categories
Golf

Attention sissies: the UroClub is your ticket to "discrete" golf course urination


When you go golfing, what’s the biggest problem you encounter? Oh, and getting the beer girl’s number and breaking par don’t count. Obviously, the answer is finding a decent spot to piss. While most normal dudes will just head for the nearest tree or, if you’re our friends, the nearest unattended golf bag, the UroClub allows you to stick your unit in the handle of a replica 7 iron and relieve yourself while taking a couple practice swings. Call us old school, but we’re heading for the woods.

Every aspect of this piece of equipment has been meticulously worked out to make it simple and trouble free to use. To start with, the UroClub is designed from a light weight resin with a molded grip. The cap opens and closes easily and is designed with a triple sealing system to ensure that it is leak proof.

The privacy shield hooks to the sides of the pants or belt and adds stability. This allows freedom of the hands to manipulate the club and zipper.

The entire club is made of a non-porous material. Therefore, caring and cleaning is effortless!

The UroClub is intended to eliminate anxiety and any feeling of uneasiness on the course. It can be emptied at the nearest restroom or later on, when the golfer returns home.

Capacity: Over half a liter, twice the volume commonly urinated.

Length: Like a standard 7 Iron

Special wholesale prices are directed to encourage club makers to brand UroClub and include it in their accessory lines, just like gloves or umbrellas.

Whether for your own use or for your company,
as a curiosity, or a urinary necessity, get UroClub now!

Links:

[UroClub.org]: UroClub Home

Categories
Cleveland Cavaliers

Around the Rim: Better late than never


1. Finals rematch
The Cavs finally won a game against the Spurs. Too bad it is about seven months too late. The game was tied at 88 before LeBron James hit the game-clinching hoop with 33.6 seconds left. The speed King finished with 27 points, nine rebounds and seven assists as he continues to lead Cleveland back to respectability. The Spurs had a chance to tie the game on a last shot, but Manu Ginobili’s buzzer-beater was off target. Ginobili scored a game-high 31 points off the bench on 10-of-15 shooting.

2. What type of party is it? It’s a block party!

The virtually unheard of Linas Kleiza scored a career-high 41 points, Allen Iverson went off for 28 and Carmelo Anthony banged in 23 points in an easy 120-109 home victory over the Jazz, but all that is secondary to the performance of the defending defensive player of the year. Marcus Camby came up two points shy of having a monstrous triple-double with eight points, 24 rebounds and 11 blocks. Since 1973-74, when blocks became a stat, only three players have gone off for 24 or more rebounds and at least 11 blocks in a single game. Camby now sits with some pretty elite company, joining Shaquille O’Neal (28-15 in 1993) and Elvin Hayes (27-11 in 1978) as the lucky few.

3. Suns rise
As quickly as they let the best record in the West slip away, they regained it. Phoenix jumped from the sixth seed all the way to the top seed with a 106-98 victory against the Lakers. Steve Nash dished out a season-high 20 assists in the win and Kobe Bryant had 30 points on the losing side of things, but the real story of the game was Kwame Brown’s play or lack thereof. Brown, playing in place of the injured Andrew Bynum, had eight points, six rebounds and seven turnovers. His play was so bad that at one point the home crowd began booing the former No. 1 draft pick.

I thought it was terrible,” said Kobe Bryant, who led the Lakers with 30 points and seven rebounds. “If they want to do that, they can stay home. He’s going to be our guy here for two months. He’s going to do fine, he’s going to play well the next game.

“Kwame’s sensitive. You boo him, it’s going to affect him. I told him I’ve got his back.

Thursday’s Player of the Day: Marcus Camby vs. Utah 44 min, 8 pts (FG: 4-13, 3FG: 0-1), 24 reb, 1 ast, 2 stl, 11 blk

Friday’s Game to Watch: Charlotte (15-23) @ New Orleans (26-12)
Charlotte is winning some big time games of late with recent defeats of Boston, Denver and Orlando all under their belt. The next step for the Cats is to clinch their first three-game winning steak of the season by beating the Hornets. But that won’t be easy considering Nawlins is sizzling as well. The Hornets have won three consecutive and 12 of their previous 15 games, taking them to the top of a stacked Southwest Division where they are currently tied with Dallas. The battle in the paint between Emeka Okafor and Tyson Chandler alone should be worth the price of admission.

Buzzer Beater: Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go, but we didn’t need to tell JamesOn Curry that.

Chicago Bulls rookie JamesOn Curry has been arrested in Boise and charged with misdemeanor counts of urinating in public and resisting arrest.

Police arrested Curry early Thursday morning and took him to the Ada County Jail. He was released a few hours later after posting $600 bond.

Curry has until February 7 to make a plea, and then must be in Boise again for either a jury trial or sentencing.

Eh, it happens.

Categories
All Other Sports

The ugly, smelly side of the Tour de France


You probably didn’t know this about the Tour de France, in the opening 12 stages, at least ten riders have been cited for breaking the cycling code. No, we’re not talking about human growth hormones or steroids or anything that gets injected into a cyclist’s body. Articles 12 and 29 of the conduct code book have to do with the call of nature and those ten riders have been fined approximately $87 apiece because they “satisfied nature’s need in front of the public.”

Apparently, if you’ve gotta stop and go in cycling, you’re suppose to be hidden from the public’s view. But the problem with that, according to one rider who was fined, is in the Tour de France there are no open stretches of road where a rider can be secluded.

So, not only are these guys suppose to sit on tiny, unforgiving, testicle smashing seats for miles and miles on end, but they’re suppose to deny their bodily functions for the multiple hour rides too?!?! We know these guys are machines on the course, but c’mon!

We say that if they won’t let you pee in peace then you gotta do what you gotta do.

Some brave souls also go while they’re still riding. That manoeuvre (sic) is performed by hiking up one leg of the bike shorts and pivoting the hips sideways to allow for relief. Sometimes a rider’s teammate will help steady the handlebars, making sure to be upwind.

Links:

[TheStar]: When a guy’s gotta go, a guy’s gotta go