Most of you out there probably think that you already know about all the blockbuster movies that will be or have been released this summer. Of course, there’s Transformers, The Simpsons Movie, Harry Potter and Something Else Magical, Live Free or Die Hard and ESPN’s pick for greatest movie of all time: I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry. But have you heard about the chill inducing, horror flick that’s sending audiences screaming from theaters across the nation? If you haven’t, here’s a sneak peek at The Bronx Pitch Project!
So, what do you do when you get suspended from your job for being a notorious malcontent with a rap sheet that would make Suge Knight blush? Well, if you’re Pacman Jones, you go to the only place on earth where criminals are openly accepted: pro wrestling!
That’s right, Pacman is stepping into the squared circle for a body slamming good time according to “sources close to WTVF-TV in Nashville.” But before you go off thinking that Vince McMahon has just done it again by cashing in on some real life notoriety, you should know that Pacman isn’t signing with the WWE. Nope, turns out that the spontaneously combusting McMahon (that was fake, right?) got scooped on the deal and the suspended Titan will be joining the high-flying, hard-hitting crew at TNA. So far, there has been no comment from the big wigs at TNA, but they did say that they would release a statement soon.
Personally, we’re as sick of Pacman as the next guy and we really just want to see him rot in a cell, but now that we’ve gotten wind of this little gimmick, we’re starting to change our mind. After all, if there’s even a sliver of a chance that we could see Abyss slam Pacman onto a pile of thumbtacks then we’re all in. And, anyways, there’s no way he could be any worse than this, right?
Unfortunately, it looks like the Titans could be big party poopers as they are now threatening to pull the plug on the whole deal because it would be a violation of his contract. While, we’d love to see Pacman get slammed right on his head, if he’s relegated to a strictly speaking role it could be equally, if not more, entertaining. But we’re still holding out hope that there is a Steiner Recliner somewhere in Pacman’s future.
So, we were actually watching FSN last night and what’s more embarrassing is that we were watching The Best Damn Sports Show. But, we have a good excuse; see, they ran one of their Top 50 countdowns and it took a look back at the most devastating hits in sports history. As always, they managed to bring us a painful, painful clip that we had never seen before. So, unfortunately, we have to give them some credit, gosh darnit. Here’s the second most devastating hit in sports history:
One of the best things about Springfield, ??, is that it really is a little slice of Americana presented on a platter every week. So, like any good TV show, The Simpsons shows the highs and lows of modern culture and in the good ol’ U.S. of A., nothing is celebrated quite like the world of sports. So, here’s a list of Top 10 Simpsons Sports Moments according to Barstool Sports. Personally, we can’t get enough of people taking shots to the crotch, so, obviously, we thought that No. 8 should have been much higher on the list.
Barry Bonds is one of the biggest smartasses on the face of the earth, so it wasn’t all that surprising to hear him say he thought someone else could be using the juice. However, what was surprising is that he was questioning the integrity of Bob Costas!
These two are now going back and forth, taking shots at each other through various media outlets after Bonds called Costas a “little midget man who knows (nothing) about baseball.” Good one, Barry. But then the midget man delivered some heat of his own to the soon-to-be homerun king.
As anyone can plainly see, I’m 5-6 1/2 and a strapping 150, and unlike some people, I came by all of it naturally,” Costas said Thursday in a telephone interview.
Ohhh, burn! Now this is where it becomes ridiculously apparent that Bonds is either the most sarcastic man on the planet or that the syringes full of steroids actually have affected his head in more ways than simply making it multiply in dimensions.
Told before Thursday’s series finale that Costas claimed he came by his physique naturally, Bonds responded, “How do you know?” before going on to say he didn’t care.
Ummm, Barry, it’s pretty damn obvious. After all, this is a guy who spent all of last season standing on a box so that Cris freakin’ Collinsworth didn’t make him look like a child.
Links:
[AZCentral.com]: Costas zings Bonds over `midget’ comment
We know that when you plunk down good money for a ticket to a ballgame, you should be able to do whatever you want, within reason of course, while in your seat. You can cheer, you can boo, heck, you can even fall asleep if you so choose. But, if you decide to do the latter, be prepared to become the laughingstock of the stadium.
The NBA is taking some serious heat over the allegations that one of their refs was involved in fixing games and it didn’t take David Letterman long to start kicking David Stern and Tim Donaghy while they’re down. On Tuesday night, Dave bashed the fellas with this little nugget of comedic gold.
Top 10 Signs A Referee Is Fixing Games
10. He leads the league in blocked shots.
9. When talking about the Spurs, he says “we.”
8. After 6 seconds, calls a 24-second violation.
7. He’s drawing up plays.
6. Before tip-off, scoreboard reads 58 to nothing.
5. Teams have scored a record number of 2-pointers, 3-pointers and 8-pointers.
4. Tossed one of the other officials out of the game.
3. Has Eddie Brill’s telephone number on speed dial.
2. Miami Heat hasn’t lost a game since Shaq promised to help the referee’s fat son.
1. The Knicks are winning.
Links:
[Charlotte.com]: Letterman’s take on referee scandal
Now, we probably don’t need to tell you this, but this clip of Charles Barkley getting pranked on the golf course is really, really old. Maybe we could tell because of the ugly fashions of the day or maybe it had to do with the guest appearance by Hersey Hawkins. Nope, the real reason you know this is happened in a time long, long ago is because Sir-cumference actually looks like one half of his current self. While his girth might have increased over time, the one thing that remains the same is that if you put Barkley in front of a camera, you will get a chuckle out of Chuckles.
And don’t worry, if Barkley ever gets his revenge on Hersey, we’ll bring you the tape.
Rodeos have never made much sense to us. Neither have bull fights. So, needless to say, we’re completely perplexed as to why people would stand in the middle of an arena and play chicken with a pissed off bull. Now, we don’t condone violence, but these guys are so stupid that there’s no way we would feel bad if they took a horn gore right in the ass.
Unfortunately, all we got was a little rag-dolling, but it’s not from a lack of wishful thinking. Hmmm, perhaps this could be a suitable punishment for Michael Vick if when he’s found guilty. Seems like a reasonable trade off; he murders dogs by slamming their bodies to the ground, now we’ll see what happens when 1,000 lbs. of snorting beef starts tossing him around.
Talk about bittersweet; Barry Bonds is on the verge of breaking the all-time home run record and not only does he have to deal with steroid induced legitimacy issues and the impending boos that will rain down should he break the record on the road, but now he has to deal with a naked, big mouthed mistress.
Kimberly Bell’s nude spread and interview regarding the two’s relationship during 2005 when a grand jury began investigating perjury allegations will appear in Playboy next month.
The opportunity was there, and I took it,” she told The Associated Press in a phone interview Monday. The photo shoot “was one of the most liberating experiences of my life.
In addition to being “liberating,” Bell’s shoot with Playboy has got to be pretty darn financially rewarding as well. Although, Bell declined to reveal the number of zeros it took to get her naked. And we’re hoping that when the magazine hits the shelves on October 1, it will be pretty darn entertaining too, with stuff like:
He was very envious of Mark McGwire,” she said from her San Jose home. “He never said that was the reason, but I know it was.
And:
If I had more self-esteem when I was younger,” she said, “I wouldn’t have been caught up with such a rotten man.
Keep it up Kim; now say something about his abnormally large head! Please!!
As anyone can plainly see, I’m 5-6 1/2 and a strapping 150, and unlike some people, I came by all of it naturally,” Costas said Thursday in a telephone interview.
